weed gummies are such a fake sounding concept like yeah if you eat this piece of candy and wait an hour you'll suddenly become very easily entertained and airheaded and cuddly

willy wonka creation

post like nobody's watching, reblog like you've never been blocked; dm like no one is offline, and rpf like they actually fucked

i do think it’s funny when you’ve been into a thing long enough that you’ve done all the serious analysis you can do so now you’re mostly just thinking up looney tunes scenarios to put the characters in

looney tunes scenarios which are most importantly still impeccably in-character because of all the aforementioned serious analysis

it’s good for you to look at things that make you lightheartedly say “ew” while snickering like a little kid and then carry on. i say this genuinely. it will shift your knee-jerk reaction towards things that mildly disgust you away from fear

i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.

people will bring up the fictional murder as if i had anything to do with it or could stop it. like i’m not aware. “you know this freak KILLS people right?” man what do you want me do about that. i’m not his keeper. he’s funny to observe. and also not real

i’ll talk to him about it i guess? bring it up over dinner? what do you want me to say. sorry?

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy being like, "I am 100% committed to respecting your 'no', but I heard you wouldn't promise my aunt not to marry me so I had to come and check just one (1) more time."