Pokemon Master @charyzard - Tumblr Blog

too weird for normal kids too normal for weird kids Just right for being alone and miserable my entire life

a Common misconception under this post is that the weird kids will not judge you. I have news for you

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amygdalae

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

amygdalae

your average cat hater: I don't like how they r bitchy and ignore me/ won't let me manhandle them

your average dog hater: I have been mortally endangered by an ill-trained dog

ootori0704

1670

warcrimesimulator

ieatratsyummy

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

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moldavite

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

fruitviking

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

mini-wrants

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

dragongirlsweetie

i do think oil executives should be considered mass murderers and treated as such. they knew this was going to happen

tofutomato

you gotta read, you gotta write, you gotta draw, you gotta watch films and shows. there is literally NO time to be employed

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kragehund-est

scientists wont tell you this! (because it's not true)

experts don't want you to know this! (because it's made up)

doctors HATE this one trick! (because it's dangerous and unhealthy)

ayalaatreides

Historians are hiding this from you! (Because it didn’t happen)

geekysteven

Dermatologists HATE him (he keyed their cars)

existennialmemes

You'll never believe this! (because it's completely nonsensical and easily debunked)

crabussy

thinking about diatoms again

crabussy

microscopic living stars made of glass that eat the sun. and they're all around us. in every body of water. glass sun-eating stars.

crabussy

I like them a lot. they produce up to half of all earth's oxygen. the air you breathe is thanks to sun-eating stars made of glass. and that's pretty cool.

crabussy

and you know. like oblongs and triangles and some other bullshit

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601

honestly for me this situation isnt drawing a single bead of sweat first i grab the tiger's jaw with both hands and pry it open, quickly bandaging the wounds i received (didn't hit anything important) and pushing the tiger away while simultaneously falling into my grizzly bear stance and watching as the tiger scurries away with its tail betweens its legs at the sight of my massive shoulder humps. i roar defiantly and catch three dozen salmon at the river

thefleetingflashofa-sword623

I'd summon twin scythes

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601

really cool

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

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solongfranklloydwright

the french beatles

solongfranklloydwright

jean, paul, george, et ringeaux

solongfranklloydwright

cheeseanonioncrisps

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

cheeseanonioncrisps

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

cheeseanonioncrisps

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

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