excellent fun til you get to know her

JJ’s lithe fingers brushed her overgrown bangs out of her eyes as she stood taking in the sight of her baby peacefully asleep on your chest. A part of her felt bad that she called you over after you had just returned from a long and tiring case, but she was beyond thankful for the help after she failed to calm Henry down for hours on end. Plus, how could she stay sad while she was watching the two people she loved snuggling together?

JJ quietly snuck over to take a seat next to you on the couch, resting her cheek on your shoulder.

“I owe you,” she rasped tiredly. “What would I do without you?”

“You don’t ever have to think about that,” you replied softly, “and I’m your girlfriend, I told you I’m in this with you and Henry—you definitely do not owe me for this.”

With a weary sigh, JJ nuzzled her head into the crook of your neck. 

“Well, too bad… I was going to reward you,” the blonde murmured, the corner of her mouth twitching up in the ghost of a smile.

A hot blush filled your cheeks.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” JJ looked down, making sure Henry was out. “Want that reward now?”

You wordlessly got off the couch and beelined to the nursery, depositing Henry into his crib. You left the newborn with a soft kiss on his forehead and a whisper of “I love you” before heading to JJ’s bedroom, where she was sitting at the foot of the bed, looking more exhausted than before.

A low hum fell from JJ’s lips as she looked up at you, her blue hues flicking between your eyes and your lips. She reached out and hugged your waist, tugging you closer.

“You don’t have to do anything, baby. You need your sleep,” you said softly, knowing that she hadn’t been getting a full night’s sleep since Henry was born.

JJ sighs. “No, no. I want you. I need you. I need to feel you.”

You hummed lowly at the light kisses she was peppering against the skin of your hips. You picked her up and moved to the middle of the bed, gently lowering her down.

“Let me do the work, hm?” you murmured.

A shiver ran up JJ’s spine as she felt your breath against her skin, goosebumps rising across her arms as your caresses moved down her body. 

“Please,” she whispers. 

You pulled her clothes off, tossing it to the side and lowering your lips to trail kisses from her neck to her hips. Once you were hovering right over where she needed you, you placed little nips at the soft plush of her thighs, feeling her squirm.

“Please touch me,” JJ whimpered, her eyes fluttering shut as her hips arched up to meet you. Her body tingled with need as you continued to tease her.

“What do you need?”

JJ took a ragged breath. “Your mouth, please. I need—”

You placed an open-mouthed kiss over her core, feeling her warmth against your tongue. JJ broke off in a soft moan as you wrapped an arm around each thigh to hold her in place. Your tongue moved against her, adjusting your ministrations based on her moans and the arches of her back.

A sharp bolt of pleasure shot through the blonde’s body igniting every nerve. She couldn’t stop her moans, prompting you to reach up and cover her mouth with a hand.

You took a quick breath of air before diving back down, pressing the tip of your nose against her throbbing clit while your tongue thrust into her. JJ whimpered as you worked your magic, bringing her closer to the edge. Her thighs trembled with every swirl of your tongue, and within seconds she came undone with a strangled moan.

You continued to lap at her, greedily drinking up every last drop of her. You finally pulled away with the lower half of your face smeared with her slick and moved up to kiss her. JJ melted into the kiss, arms wrapping around your neck to pull you impossibly closer. She could taste herself on your tongue, sending another wave of arousal crashing into her. She bit down gently on your bottom lip, her hips rolling against you as she moaned.

“I need more,” she whispered, her voice coming out as a whine, “I need your strap, please, baby.”

Your pupils expanded at her words in addition to the sight of her underneath you. You grabbed the strap out of the bedside table, stripping yourself of your clothes and doing up the harness all while JJ watched you with attentive eyes. Your body hummed with excitement as you climbed back on top of her, pulling her hips closer to yours. JJ captured your lips in a hungry, open-mouthed kiss. 

With your hand you guided the strap to swipe over her slick folds, pulling a moan from her lips. JJ’s hips arched into your touch, her fingers digging into your shoulders. 

“God, you tease,” she whined, head falling against the pillows.

You smiled and pushed the whole length of the toy into her, making her gasp. Her legs parted immediately as her hands fisted the bedsheets.

“Y/N,” she whispered like a prayer. “Move, please.”

You pushed your hips back and forth, starting at a steady pace. One hand pinned the blonde’s hips to the bed while the other lovingly raked through the strands of hair sprawled across the pillow like a halo. JJ looked angelic underneath you, and you swear your heart physically aches in your chest from how much love you were feeling.

“Oh, god, yes. Just like that, baby,” JJ said through ragged breaths.

You leaned down to suckle the skin on her neck, leaving light hickeys. Your hips kept the pace, thrusts slow but powerful, passionate. You groaned in her ear. 

“You are so beautiful, Jen.”

Every kiss, every touch, every thrust drew a soft moan from JJ, the sounds of her pleasure in the air around you. JJ’s hands flew to your back, legs wrapped around your hips to pull you closer, deeper.

“You feel so good.”

“You’re such a good girl for me, baby,” you praised her, making her quiver.

“Yes, yes,” JJ panted. “I’m your good girl, all yours.”

You moaned softly at her words. The toy on your end was stimulating your clit, driving you closer to your climax, and you knew JJ was too.

“Come whenever you want, baby,” you told her, “it’s all yours.”

As you picked up the pace, JJ’s body shook with overwhelming pleasure. She’s close, so close, your words bringing her over the edge. You moved your hand to press on JJ’s lower belly, feeling the strap going in and out of her, causing you to throw your head back as you came undone.

JJ’s body arched at the pressure of your hand, a strangled moan leaving her kiss-swollen lips as she fell apart. The sight of you climaxing was what pushed her over the edge into glorious pleasure.

You continued your thrusts to draw out JJ’s orgasm. Eventually, JJ fell against the bed completely spent and you pulled out the strap and took off the harness. You tossed it on top of your pile of clothes to be dealt with in the morning and collapsed onto the bed with JJ.

JJ used the last of her strength to move herself on top of you, cuddling into your warm body.

“I love you,” she murmured as she melted into your chest.

You pressed a tender kiss to her sweaty forehead. “I love you, too.”

JJ sighed, kissing the underside of your jaw. “God, I needed that. Thank you.”

“Get some sleep, baby. Don’t worry about Henry; I’ve got him.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The first rays of sunlight crept through the curtains, slowly lighting up the room little by little.

JJ stirred slightly, a soft hum falling from her lips as she came to. She blinked blearily, slowly processing her surroundings. It took her a moment to remember the night before, but when she did, a sleepy smile pulled at her lips.

She rolled over to find you asleep beside her, the sight causing her smile to widen. She takes a moment to watch you, to take in every detail of you laid out in her bed like this.

You were pulled out of dreamland by fingers running through your hair. Your eyes opened to the most beautiful sight of the blonde in bed with you, the morning sunlight glowing across her features.

“Hey. Did Henry wake up again?”

JJ shook her head, her hand continuing to card through your hair in a soothing motion.

“No, he hasn’t yet. You were up all night with him, hm?”

“It’s okay. You needed your rest, and I wanted to do that for you.”

JJ smiled softly. “You didn’t have to. But I really appreciate it.”

A comfortable silence lingered between the two of you as you shared a peaceful moment. JJ’s eyes crinkled in a smile as she looked into your eyes. “You have no idea how happy you make me.”

The open window let in a cool breeze, gently blowing strands of blonde hair in an ethereal manner. You watched as JJ sipped from her glass of wine, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Honestly? I don’t know,” JJ replied to your question. “It’s… strange. I never thought I’d be a divorced mom. I’ve loved Will for so long. But over time our relationship just went downhill, so slowly that we didn’t even notice until it was too late to save it.”

Your hand slipped to her knee naturally, providing comfort and support. The touch of your hand sent a shiver up JJ’s spine, but she kept her composure.

“How are the kids doing with this?” you asked, genuine concern in your tone.

JJ’s expression softened at the mention of her kids.

“They’re coping, I guess. It’s hard on them, obviously. They’re so young, they don’t understand why their parents can’t be together. I think Henry’s noticed that Will and I don’t really get along, but Michael is practically still a baby. When it’s one of us in the house, they keep asking when the other will come back home.”

At the quiver in her voice, you scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“Don’t blame yourself for this, Jayje. Some parents stay together for the kids, but that just subjects them to a lot more hurt and resentment down the road. I know that you and Will have your kids’ best interests in your heart, and this was the best decision for your family. It’ll get easier, for you and for the kids.”

JJ appreciated your words. She had been struggling with the burden of knowing that her kids were hurt because she and Will couldn’t save their marriage, but your reassurance brought her some measure of relief.

JJ’s hand laid on top of yours. “Thank you, Y/N. I hope you’re right.”

“Oh, Jay… I’m always right,” you joked to lift the mood, earning a laugh from JJ.

Her smile faded slightly, her expression becoming more serious.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Your heart melted at her quiet confession.

“You deserve good things, Jen. You deserve to be happy.”

JJ desperately wanted to believe your words, but the guilt and self-doubt was lingering in her mind. 

“I want to be happy. You make me happy.”

The admission hung in the air, raw and vulnerable. JJ felt a wave of anxiety as she waited for your reaction. She was silently praying she hadn’t crossed any boundaries.

Suddenly, you smiled and JJ’s worries washed away. “You have no idea how happy you make me.”

“How happy?”

You realized how close your faces were, your noses just inches apart. JJ’s gaze was unrelenting. 

“Did you know I was going to quit a few years back?”

JJ’s eyebrow raised in curiosity. “You were going to quit?”

You nodded. “After Atlanta. This job takes a toll on you. I’d been struggling with it for years before that, but that case… I didn’t think I could ever come back from that.”

JJ watched you subconsciously trace your thigh where your scar was hidden under the fabric of your pants. 

“This job takes a lot. But you know what it gives? It gives me you. I decided to stay because it’s where you are.”

JJ’s jaw hung as she absorbed your confession. “I… I don’t know what to say. I never realized… that I had such an impact on you. On your career.”

You nod, holding back your tears. “You do. In every aspect of my life.”

JJ’s eyes became blurry with tears, a mix of gratitude and regret. You reached up to brush back the hair in her face, letting your hand linger on her cheek.

JJ swallowed hard under your intense gaze, taking in every detail and features of her face.

“I think I’ve loved you for a very long time,” the blonde confessed. “I just didn’t let myself realize it.”

When you stayed quiet waiting for her to keep talking, JJ cleared her throat.

“I’d been trying to fight it the whole time,” she admitted. “Convincing myself that I didn’t feel this way. At first, I was just scared that you’d reject me. Then when I got pregnant and married Will, I knew it was too late. But it’s exhausting, Y/N. I don’t want to pretend.”

You licked your dry lips. “You don’t have to pretend. Not anymore.”

You pulled JJ into your space, holding her flush against your body. JJ sighed deeply, feeling the tension in her shoulders release once she was wrapped in your protective arms.

A comfortable silence stretched out between you. JJ pulled back slightly, her big blue eyes meeting yours, and the rest of the world melted away for just a moment.

“I think I should head home.”

“Do you need a ride?” you asked, though neither of you made a move to let go of one another.

JJ shook her head. “No. The hotel’s just down the block, but thank you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in question.

“You’ve been at a hotel? Jay, you know you can stay here with me.”

“It’s alright, Y/N. I’m just there while I look for an apartment close to the house.”

“Come on, stay. You can search for an apartment without having to keep paying hundreds for your hotel room.”

JJ sighed. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. It’ll be like old times,” you smiled. “Y’know, without the whole ‘apartment on fire’ thing.”

A laugh erupted from JJ. “I still cannot believe you set your apartment on fire. It was truly a gift to see you at my door at 2am, drenched from the sprinklers.”

You pouted, gently pushing JJ away. “It was eight years ago, let it go.”

“Sorry, sorry,” JJ giggled, the sound making you smile. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You and JJ made a plan to check out of the hotel room tomorrow morning and bring her belongings to your apartment. For now, it was late, and you were both ready for bed.

“Where are you going?”

You turned to JJ. “Uh, the couch?”

JJ sat up, the covers slipping down from her shoulders. You had to admit, it was a surreal, yet beautiful sight: her in your clothes, hair slightly mussed, sitting in your bed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’ve shared a bed many times.”

You shrugged. “I wasn’t sure where we stood.”

JJ patted the empty side of the bed. “Get your ass over here.”

You giggled, climbing in under the covers. JJ clicked off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness aside from the hallway light that shone in through the cracked door.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Jayje,” you pressed a kiss to her forehead.

It took only a moment for JJ to give into her desires. She swung a leg over your hips, straddling you as she leaned down, staring at your lips.

“Can I?” she asked breathily.

You gave a frantic nod, and your lips met in a passionate kiss. Your senses were filled with the taste of her lips, her skin against yours, and the faint vanilla perfume she always wears. JJ’s hands cradled your face while yours held onto her waist. The blonde let out soft sighs into the hungry kiss, her hands wandering down to clutch at your shoulders.

The night was filled with a whirlwind of emotions and sensations as you both explored each other’s bodies and souls. By the time dawn broke, both of you were spent, boneless, and satisfied. JJ’s head rested on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, a soothing comfort. You breathed in the scent of JJ, relishing in the perfect fit of her body against yours.

JJ smushed her face in the valley between your breasts. “I don’t want to move.”

You chuckled, a hand raking through the mess of blonde hair. “Me neither.”

The two of you savored the warmth in each other’s proximity. You were content to stay just like this, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and let the world wait,

“Just a few more minutes?” JJ asked, her voice hoarse with sleep.

“We have forever.”

JJ’s heart skipped a beat at your effortless reply. The word “forever” carried such weight and promise, making her chest feel tight with emotion. 

You glanced down to see her already looking back at you. The tenderness and affection in her eyes made your breath catch.

It was only a few hours later when your sulking was interrupted by your phone. You picked it up from the coffee table and stared at the contact name in surprise before accepting the call.

“Jen?”

JJ sighed over the phone. “Hey.”

You took note of the slight slurring in her words. “Hey.”

“I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“Of course I’ll pick up, always.”

JJ hummed quietly at your words. “Can I come over? Please?”

You inhaled, thinking about where you left off your conversation earlier that night.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea—”

“Please, Y/N.”

With a sigh, you replied, “You’re drunk. I’ll come over to you.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Fifteen minutes later, you sat on JJ’s couch uncomfortably, a gap in between your bodies.

“You don’t have to sit so far away,” JJ said.

“I’m fine here.”

You felt JJ’s eyes staring holes into your head while you kept your eyes on the interesting potted plant sitting in the corner of the living room.

“Where is everyone?”

JJ shuffled on the couch, pulling her feet under her legs. “Will is on a business trip. The kids are at a sleepover.”

You nodded, playing with the cuffs of your shirt sleeve.

“If I didn’t marry Will, would you have made a move?” JJ blurted, surprising the both of us.

“Don’t say that, Jay,” you sighed. “Don’t think about the what-ifs. Will is an amazing partner to you. He gave you Henry and Michael. He’s a great dad. You two are wonderful together.”

JJ swore she could feel her heart physically wrench in her chest. “I know. But if I didn't…?”

You hesitated to answer. “Yeah, probably.”

“I’m getting a divorce.”

JJ silently scolded herself for her wine-induced word vomiting. She saw the concern and curiosity in your wide eyes as you stared at her.

“You’re not just saying that because of tonight, are you?”

Shaking her head quickly, JJ explained. “Will and I have been separated for the past month. I lied; he isn’t on a business trip, he’s living with his old college friend.”

You stared at her in shock at the information. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You put your head into your hands. “Oh my god, Jay. And I’ve been treating you so horribly, on top of that. I’m so sorry.”

JJ put a hand on your back.

“Y/N, you didn’t know. It’s in the past, I forgive you, I promise.”

“Are you okay?” you sat up to face her.

“I’m okay. It was a mutual decision; it was best for us and the kids.”

You studied the woman sitting next to you, her body bathed in the warm glow of a lamp in the corner of the room. Her hair was slightly mussed and her cheeks were rosy from the wine. Your eyes flickered down to her lips before you turned away.

“I should go.”

“Before I do something I might regret,” you thought.

“Oh, okay,” JJ said sadly.

“I’ll, uh… see you at work tomorrow,” you lingered by the door.

“Yeah.”

You sighed, closing the door behind you, leaving JJ alone in an empty house with only her feelings.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Over the next three weeks both you and JJ spent a lot of time separately reflecting on your feelings about your situation. The recent case was a saving grace in distracting you; it also helped that JJ stayed behind to work from the office with Penelope, so the pressure was off your shoulders for just a few days.

The team had gotten off the jet, tired and ready to go home. You walked with Emily to your cars.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Emily bumped her shoulder into yours. 

“Night, Em.”

JJ was one of the last ones leaving the office as she was stuck with a mountain of paperwork. The elevator doors opened and she spotted you and Emily saying goodnight to each other, the physical contact not going unnoticed by her. She pushed down the pang of jealousy, knowing it was completely irrational.

“Jay,” you called her name, having spotted her getting off the elevator. She walked over to you, her car parked next to yours.

“Hi, Y/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat at your name falling from her lips, realizing how much you missed her. You ached for her touch, to wrap your arms around her.

“Hey, you. I was surprised you didn’t come with us.”

JJ shrugged. “I had to sort out some things over here.”

You smiled politely. “Everything okay now?”

“Yeah,” JJ breathed, the relief in her composure noticeable. “Actually, uh… I finalized my divorce with Will two days ago.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh?”

JJ chuckled nervously. “That’s why I stayed behind. But, uh… It’s done.”

You stared at her for a moment, searching for the right response.

“Congradolences,” you said.

JJ laughed at the inside joke between the two of you, the familiarity bringing a sense of comfort. 

“Thanks. That’s exactly how I feel about this.”

You smiled warmly. “Want company? Or do you need to be with the kids?”

The question lingered in the air as you watched JJ weigh her options in her head.

You and JJ have been fighting a lot lately. The tension between you was obvious to the team, who were growing concerned about your sudden hostility towards JJ who had been your best friend for the past decade you’ve been working together.

The team was at Rossi’s for dinner and everyone had had enough of the squabble between two of their coworkers. Hotch pushed you and JJ into a room, threatening to suspend you if you didn’t “figure your shit out.” 

“Y/N, I really don’t wanna do this, either. Let’s just pretend we’re talking about it, and get out of here,” JJ sighed deeply, sipping from her glass of wine.

You stood by the window with your arms crossed, frowning like a petulant child.

JJ’s footsteps grew closer to you. 

“You’re mad at me,” she said softly. “And I’m trying hard not to get annoyed, Y/N, I really am. But it’s been the same cycle week after week: you pick a fight with me over something small, and you won’t tell me what it was… then we argue for a few days, I apologize, and nothing changes.”

“I thought you said we were going to pretend to talk about it,” you said flatly.

“Right,” JJ exhaled deeply and looked towards the door where she was sure someone—Penelope— was trying to eavesdrop. “Please, can you just tell me what’s going on?”

You sighed, downing the rest of your drink. “It’s stupid.”

JJ rolled her eyes, most definitely annoyed now. She knew you were trying to avoid the conversation.

“Come on,” she pleaded, placing her hand on your shoulder to make you turn around to face her. “If it really is stupid, we can solve it quickly.”

Your words came out as a whisper. “It could change everything.”

JJ’s eyes softened as she sensed your anxiety. She stayed quiet as she watched you find the courage to speak.

“I’m in love with you.”

JJ was momentarily paralyzed at your confession, the realization hitting her like a punch in the gut. 

“I’ve been in love with you since you joined the team. Back when you were just a media liaison. But we were never more than just friends… I wasn’t even sure if you liked women that way. Then you started seeing Will, and you married him. Lately I’ve been reflecting on my own life, what I couldn’t have… who I couldn't have. I thought if I pushed you away it would be easier to get over you,” you chuckled bitterly. “It’s not working.”

JJ’s heart ached as she listened to you pour your heart out. It all made sense now. How could she have been so oblivious?

“Y/N,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, “I had no idea.”

“I know. I’m sorry. For… the way I’ve been treating you. For everything.”

JJ reached out to take your hand, instinctively running her thumb over your skin. 

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve seen it. We’ve been friends for so long, I should have known…”

You shrugged. “Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? Are you even… Do you like women romantically?”

The question hit JJ like a ton of bricks. This was something she had grappled with for years, something she had never truly admitted to herself but also not ignored.

“That’s a loaded question,” she sighed.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t need to tell me anything.”

JJ shook her head, squeezing your hand.

“It’s okay.” 

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’ve… I’ve always been drawn to both men and women. It’s just that it wasn't something I had ever really explored… I never really allowed myself to.”

Your mouth opened slightly in shock. “Oh.”

There was a moment of silence between you two, filled with the background noise of the party. JJ was quiet as she stared at your intertwined hands. 

JJ reached up and wiped your cheek, and it was only then that you realized you had been crying. You pulled away and wiped your face.

“I can’t keep doing this with you,” you sniffled, “the little touches, the small gestures, and pretend that I don’t feel anything beyond platonic love for you.”

JJ frowned, looking down at her hands. Those innocent touches had always been present in your friendship, but they took on a deeper meaning now.

“I understand,” she said. “But I care about you, Y/N. I don’t want this to pull us apart.”

You sighed, leaning against the desk. “I see no other way around this, Jennifer.”

JJ felt a wave of resignation wash over her at your use of her name, desperate to fix this mess.

“So what do we do? What do you need me to do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe just… give me some space for a while. Only interact at work when we have to. I need time to sort out my feelings,” you suggested, a lump growing in your throat.

JJ nodded slowly.

“Okay.”

You took a deep breath, the air between you two heavy with unresolved emotions. You swallowed thickly and looked up at JJ.

“Sorry, Jayje.”

A few weeks have passed since Emily intruded your house. When the team arrived that night, you easily lied to them, saying that someone had broken into your kitchen while you were upstairs. What they didn’t know was that you’d wiped off Emily’s fingerprints from the door and cleaned her shoe tracks off the floor. With nothing much to go on, and nothing stolen, the team left with an officer stationed outside your door.

Since your encounter, Emily couldn’t stop thinking about you. No matter how she tried to shake it from her mind, she couldn’t help but feel the strong pull towards you, like a moth to the flame. 

She sat alone in her apartment on her couch, drinking a glass of whiskey as she tried to figure things out. Suddenly, the sound of her phone ringing pulled her out of her thoughts. Emily picked it up, seeing the “Unknown Number” lighting up on her screen. She hesitated for a moment before pressing the green button in curiosity.

“Hi, Emily.”

Emily’s brows furrowed in surprise as she recognized your voice. “Agent (Y/L/N). This is my burner phone, how did you get this number?”

“Penelope isn’t the only technologically gifted person on the team.”

Emily could practically hear your smirk through the phone. 

“So, you found my number. What is it you wish to talk about? Or… Did you call only to hear my voice?” Emily asked the question mockingly, but she secretly hoped that was the reason why.

“I have questions. And I want answers.”

Emily rolls her eyes and falls back on the couch. “Well then, let’s hear them.”

“Why me? Because I took your job? Or for other reasons? I’m not your usual type.”

“Not my type for victims, no,” Emily smirks. “You’re young and alone. You’re an easy target. You’re involved with my old team, which gives me a fun challenge. And… maybe you just caught my eye.”

“I caught your eye, hm?”

“Shut up.”

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t turn you in.”

“Only one? Let me think…” Emily took a sip of her drink. “You’re just as attracted to me as I am to you. You’re curious how far we could take this.”

Emily smiled after your sigh over the phone. “You can deny it all you want, agent. But I know you’ll regret it if you turned me in. There’s a pull between us, and I know we won’t be able to ignore it. So… What happens now, then, agent? Will you turn me in?”

Across town, your eyes fall closed at the sound of Emily’s seductive voice, your desire hard to deny.

“I’m coming over.”

You hung up the phone before Emily could reply, and made a mad dash to your car.

Just ten minutes later Emily was alerted by a knock at her door. The moment she opened the door, you crashed your lips against hers, hands landing on her hips.

A small moan of shock escapes Emily’s lips as she shut and locked the door, kissing you back. Her hands wander up and down your side, guiding you to the couch. The taste of whiskey lingered on Emily’s lips, making you groan softly. Your body shivered under Emily’s cold hands that had found their way under your shirt, pressing against your hot skin.

You slipped your hands under her thighs, lifting her up. A small noise of surprise tumbles out of Emily’s lips as you trap her against the wall. At this new position, she wraps her legs around your hips, bringing you impossibly close. Your mind grows hazy with hunger and lust, and Emily’s head spins with desire. She couldn’t get enough, she needed more of you.

Emily’s eyes widen in surprise when you suddenly turn and set her down on the couch, her breathing coming in short pants as she looks up at you. You crawled over her body, holding yourself up with one arm while the other moved to the waistband of her sweatpants. When Emily gives you a nod of consent, your hand slips under and comes in contact with her heat while you sucked at her neck.

Emily was a moaning mess under your fingers and kisses, her breath catching in her throat as she approached the edge. 

“Oh my god…” she whispered softly, twisting her fingers in your hair. 

Finally, the band in her stomach snapped and Emily groaned your name in pure bliss into your ear. You slowed your hand, gently guiding her down from her high, relishing in your ability to make her feel good.

As Emily’s breathing evened out, you sat back, the shame of the situation eating at you. Emily opened her eyes after a few moments to look at you, feeling the shift in the air and sensing your sudden change of mood. She sat up slowly, moving closer to you.

“Are you alright?” she spoke softly, her voice full of worry.

You shut your eyes, pressing your palm into your eye to ease the oncoming headache.

“You’re a serial killer. I’m an agent. This can’t happen, this shouldn’t have happened.”

Emily’s heart sunk at your words, not wanting to accept the truth. She sighed.

“You’re right.”

You swallow. “But I can’t find it in me to stop.”

Your breath hitches as you and Emily make eye contact, both of your hearts speeding up in sync. Your lips parted as you observed the reflection of a lamp in her big brown eyes, your hesitation overpowered by your feelings for her.

“What are you saying, (Y/N)?”

You found yourself lost in the domestic scene, her hair tousled and cheeks rosy. 

“No one can know about this.”

The thought of being a secret sent a thrill running through Emily’s body. 

“No, no one can know,” Emily whispered in agreement, her hand squeezing your knee.

“No one’s seen your face, so you’re not tied to your… crimes. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get caught eventually.”

Emily’s brows furrowed, knowing where this conversation was going. “Okay…”

“You have to stop. You can’t kill people anymore,” you watch for her reaction.

Emily nodded. “Okay.”

You lifted a brow in surprise.

“Really?”

Emily smirked. “What? You thought I wouldn’t agree so easily?”

You nodded, “Well, yeah.”

Emily took your hand, clasping it between hers. “I don’t like being told what to do, but I don’t like the thought of losing you more.”

You felt your cheeks heating up under her soft gaze, turning away with a smile. “For a ruthless killer, you’re pretty mushy-gushy.”

Emily laughed, the sound making your smile wider. “Oh, you have no idea how mushy-gushy I can be, especially when it comes to someone like you.”

You rolled your eyes while hers twinkled with mischief, the both of you leaning into the couch. Emily pulled you closer, grazing the shell of your ear with her teeth. 

“So, agent… Just how much of a secret do you want this to be? How much would you like to see of my mushy-gushy side?”

You moan quietly, turning to see Emily’s smirk. She lunged forward, sending you falling onto your back as she straddled on top of you. 

“Don’t tempt me now, agent… You wouldn’t be able to handle my true self.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, staring at her through your lashes with a wicked grin.

You hummed in your kitchen as you cleaned up after dinner, enjoying the silent night after a very long and tiring case. As you loaded the dishes into the dishwasher, some movement outside the window caught your eye. You brushed it off as a deer that frequently wandered through backyards in your neighborhood and continued with your chores. 

Behind the bushes, the brunette woman smiled when she saw you alone. It’ll be easier to get you. She started walking to the back door that separated the two of you. Reaching the handle, she picked the lock, smiling when the handle became loose. Now she can get her latest victim.

The door jiggling behind you raised the alarm bells in your head. You whipped around to see a dark haired woman in the doorway. You reached for your gun that was placed on the kitchen counter, aiming it at the woman. 

Emily made a tsk tsk noise at you, shaking her head.

“Now, now… Is that any way to greet someone in your home?”

You lowered your gun slightly as you recognized the intruder.

“Emily Prentiss.”

“Ah… You know who I am,” Emily said mockingly. She closed the door behind her and stepped closer to you.

You kept your face stoic. “What are you doing here?”

Emily chuckled before replying. “What am I doing here? Well, what I’m doing is hunting for my next victim. And I’ve got my eye on you.”

You freezed momentarily to process her words. 

“It’s you.”

Emily cocked her head, “Who am I?”

“You’re the serial killer we’ve been looking for. You target men in law enforcement who abuse their power. We’ve been following your trail for the past six months.” You paused. “Why am I your next victim? I don’t fit in your criteria.”

Emily continued backing you up into the wall, smirking once you had nowhere else to go. “You’re a profiler, you tell me.”

You swallowed thickly, never taking your eyes off of her dark brown ones. “Because I’m your replacement.”

Emily hummed with a quirk of her lips. “Good girl. You really are good at your job, just like Hotch said.”

You slowly moved your heel to hit the SOS button you had installed underneath the kitchen cabinets to alert the team. However, Emily’s keen sense of hearing caught the faint buzz the signal made. 

“What’s that sound? You’re signaling your fellow agents to come over and rescue you?” Emily shook her head. “Here I was hoping for a private time with you. Now they’re gonna come and ruin our fun…”

“Why are you killing all of those people?”

“You know why.”

“But why?”

“Those men needed to be taught a lesson.” Emily paused. She steps right in front of you, pushing your gun aside to make room for her body. “They always underestimate a female agent… They see me as weak. I’m tired of it.”

You shuddered as she invaded your space. “You aren’t the only female agent to be underestimated. Not the first, not the last. I became a Supervisory Special Agent at only 28, and I continue to be looked down by most of the men I work with. What makes you different? What made you snap?”

A dark chuckle escaped Emily’s lips when she thought about your question. She shook her head before looking back into your eyes, observing your face with an annoyed expression.

“You think you understand exactly the position I’m in? You know nothing about how they look at me… Judging me behind my back that I don’t know what I’m doing. Do you know why I lost my job?”

When you shook your head, she continued. 

“I killed the man who stabbed me and left me for dead. He made my life a living hell, always lingering over me wherever I went. I lived in fear for years, and when I had the chance to end it, I took it. And that cost me my job that I worked so hard for. And yet, when Hotch killed the person who murdered his wife, he got a paid absence from work. Don’t you see what’s wrong with that? People saw him as a person acting on his grief. And they see me as a killer.”

You noticed the pain and rage she held in her eyes as she told her story. “Not everyone looks at you that way.”

Emily scoffed at your attempt to make her feel better. “Oh… What? You think you’re different? That you don’t look down on me? You’re just like them, thinking you have control over me.”

Your gaze softened, your empathetic nature getting the best of you. You set your gun down on the counter, pushing it away. Emily’s eyes followed your movement and then snapped back to your face in surprise.

“What are you doing? Why didn’t you shoot me?” she asked, her voice calm but held a sense of disbelief.

You stayed silent, also wondering why you would potentially let a criminal get away. When Emily’s eyebrow lifts prompting you to answer, you sighed.

“I don’t think I hold control over you. I don’t want to have control over anyone.”

Emily’s eyes darkened at the double entendre. She took hold of your wrists and pinned them above your head as she leaned in closer.

“No control, huh?”

Your eyes flutter closed as her breath fanned your ear. Why am I feeling like this towards a serial killer we’ve been chasing for months, you wonder.

Emily noticed your breath quickening and smirked to herself. “What’s this, agent? Are you feeling something for me…?”

You let your head fall back against the wall, relishing in her small kisses on your neck, her teeth grazing your skin so softly. However, the reality of your situation pulled you out of your daze. 

“The team will get here soon.”

Emily pulled back with a groan of annoyance. “Well, this moment can’t last forever, can it?”

She let go of your wrists, stepping away from you and heading toward the door.

“Emily,” you called out, to your own surprise.

Emily stopped when she heard her name, turning around with an eyebrow raised. 

You racked through your brain, thinking of what to say.

“Stay safe.”

Emily’s eyes softened at your words, but her face remained expressionless, not wanting to reveal her weakness to you.

“How interesting… An agent telling a wanted criminal to stay safe.”

You hold back your words as Emily lingered by the door. She broke her stare to look out the window where she could hear sirens approaching, but still a good distance away.  

"No one, Em. Am I not allowed to leave this apartment?" You sighed.

"You never just leave without telling me where you're going or who you're with, don't give me an attitude."

You roll your eyes, heading to the bedroom. Emily stopped you.

"You're not going to bed without telling me where you've been."

"Why does it matter? You've been at work. I just wanted to get some fresh air," you threw your hands up in slight frustration. "You leave every morning, and I don't question you. Why can't I do the same?"

"Because I don't trust you!" Emily raised her voice. She blocked off your path, glaring at you.

You narrowed your eyes, steeling your composure to not show that her words had hurt you.

"Why not? I'm your girlfriend."

"And that means I should trust you just because we are dating? You've given me plenty of reasons not to trust you."

"Like what?"

Emily placed her hands on her hips, standing up straighter. "You've been secretive, you're too friendly with other women, you're always on your phone, you hide things from me."

Rage bubbled inside your chest. "Do you think you're a saint, Emily? You are no different from me. How many times have I tried to ask you about your day, just for you to shut down? How many times have I been tossed aside while you prioritize your work? How many hours have I spent waiting for you to come home, worrying that you were shot dead when you'd really just fallen asleep at your desk?"

Emily flinched, surprised by seeing you so angry, and how true your words were.

"Y/N, that's different. i'm just... busy all the time, or have classified information..."

You felt tears sting in your eyes.

"I can't do this anymore," you whisper.

Emily froze in place at your words, watching you grab a duffle bag from the hallway closet.

"What?"

You swiftly moved to the bedroom, feeling Emily follow behind you. You started packing a few essentials, deciding that you would come back later for more things.

"You know what."

"You're leaving?"

"I don't think you're ready to be in a serious relationship, Em. I saw the signs from the start, but I overlooked them because I liked you. But I can't put up with all the secrets, the lying, and the distrust anymore. I'm your girlfriend; I trust you more than I trust anyone in the whole world, and it hurts that you don't feel the same about me."

You wiped your tears.

Emily took a step forward, feeling a surge of panic.

"Sweetheart, listen, it's not like that... I..." she faltered, unable to think of anything that would fix this situation.

You waited for Emily to continue, but her silence was enough of an answer. You zipped up your bag and walked over to Emily, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, Em. But I can't stay here."

Emily's face briefly softened at your kiss, but her heart dropped as your departure started becoming very real.

"I-" Emily's voice cracked. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

You stopped by the door, considering your next words very carefully.

"I've given you so many chances to talk to me. If all it takes is for me to leave, then it's probably too late."

A wave of hurt crashed over Emily, even though she knew there was a truth to your words.

"I promise I'm ready to talk now."

You made the grave mistake to turn back, and one look at her sad brown eyes was convincing enough. Wordlessly, the two of you walked to the couch and sat down.

Emily took your hand, breathing a sigh of relief when you didn't pull away.

"I know I haven't been the best girlfriend over the past couple months, okay? I-I admit, I've been keeping some things from you, but you have to understand..."

"Understand what?" You voice was soft, but your tone harsh.

"Understand why I was keeping them from you, I just..." Emily sighed. "I was scared. Scared to tell you certain things."

You looked into her eyes. "Is something happening at work? Or is it something in our relationship?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Emily spoke.

"I-it's work-related, yes... and it's the reason I've been so... on edge."

"Does it have something to do with Ian Doyle?" You pieced together.

Emily froze, the name she never wanted you to know of coming out of your mouth.

"Where did you hear that?"

You sensed the anxiousness in her voice, and you knew you were treading on dangerous waters.

"I came home early one night, and I overheard you talking on the phone to someone. You sounded stressed out, I figured it had something to do with work."

Emily nodded slowly.

"I... H-how much of that did you hear?"

You shook your head, "Not much. Just a few names and details. 'Interpol', 'undercover', 'Lauren Reynolds.'"

Just hearing those words alone made Emily anxious.

"I need you to keep what you heard a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone, not even the team. Can you promise me that?"

"Yes, of course."

A wave of silence washed over the two of you. Emily fiddled with her fingers, but never took her eyes off yours.

"Emily, I don't have to worry about losing you, do I?"

Emily managed a small smile, holding your gaze for the longest time.

"No, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to let anything keep me away from you, Y/N. I promise."

It was like the storm clouds had finally parted, revealing a glimpse of blue skies above. For the first time in your year-long relationship, Emily had finally opened up to you about something.

You slowly moved in for a hug, giving Emily the chance to opt out if she wanted to. But she leaned into your embrace, hugging you with such intensity, as if you'd vanish if she let go of you. Emily had never been so scared to lose someone before, and she knew that she could never risk losing you ever again.

You were the first to break the silence.

"This can't happen again, Em. I need you to be honest and trust me. I value your feelings, and I don't want to lose you."

Emily nodded as you voiced her thoughts exactly.

"I know. I promise... There's, uh... one other thing I need to tell you about."

"What is it?" You pull away to look at her.

"I need to go somewhere tomorrow to deal with an issue from my Interpol days. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone..."

Emily stood up, walking over to the window and knelt down. She flipped up a floorboard, taking out a padded envelope.

"If I'm not back within a week, I want you to open this."

You took the envelope.

"What are you planning to do, Em?" your voice shook.

"It's just a precaution," Emily lied in order to not worry you. "There's a risk that comes with every mission I go on. I just want you to keep this for the future."

When you didn't reply, Emily took your hands into hers.

"I'm going to be fine."

You nodded, touching your forehead to Emily's.

"Will you stay? Come to bed with me?"

Emily's soft and vulnerable words sent an ache to your heart.

"Yeah."

The two of you settled into bed. You laid on your side, face to face with Emily. She leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, wrapping her arms protectively around you.

"I love you, Y/N.”

"I love you, too."

Long after you dozed off, Emily remained awake. She wanted to remember how your body molded perfectly against hers, the smell of your shampoo and how your hair tickled her nose, and how her heart beat differently when she was around you. She worried about how you would hold up if something happened to her. She tried to stay as still as possible to not disturb your sleep. After what felt like hours, she let sleep overcome her as well.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The next day, you woke up to an empty bed. Emily had already left as she usually did, but this time it came with a heavy, lingering feeling. Of what, you weren't sure yet.

You sat up in bed and glanced at the alarm clock on Emily's bedside table, which told you that it was almost 12pm. You felt something on your forehead and you reached up to find it was a bright pink sticky note. You laughed, remembering how Emily used to leave notes stuck on your forehead if she woke up and left before you.

“Be home soon. I love you,” the note read in Emily’s cursive handwriting. You stuck it to the wall above your nightstand.

You had the day off from work, so you started your day of relaxation. A few hours later, a knock on the door jolted you out of your focus on a TV show you were binging. Your limbs protested as you stood up from the position you’ve been sitting in all day.

A familiar face stood behind the door.

“Andersen?”

Agent Andersen had a solemn expression on his face.

“Y/N, I regret to inform you that Agent Prentiss has been injured in the field. I’ve been sent by Agent Hotchner to bring you to the hospital.”

The world went silent as his words sunk in. This wasn’t the first time during your relationship that Emily had gotten injured, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that got easier every time.

The journey to the hospital was a blur. Before you knew it, you were in the waiting room. A heavy silence occupied the room as you and the team waited for an update.

Finally, the doors opened and you stood up, almost falling over until Rossi took your arm. With one look at JJ’s face, you knew your worst fears had come true.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

It’s been seven months since Emily died. Seven months since you attended her funeral. Seven months since you quit your job, packed your bags, and left town without telling anyone.

You’ve been living in a permanent state of anxiety and grief ever since Emily’s passing. You could barely register anything happening around you, not with the words “she never made it off the table” echoing in your mind constantly. You currently resided in New York with your friend, who was in their first year of residency and basically lived at the hospital, so you had the apartment to yourself a majority of the time.

You became vaguely aware of your phone ringing as you pulled yourself out of your daze. You were surprised and confused when the caller ID read Hotch’s name. The first month after your very sudden departure, your phone was bombarded with calls from each member of the BAU. As time passed and their calls kept going unanswered, they ceased their contact. Occasionally, you would get a few voicemails from Penelope who would update you on things happening in her life and to tell you that she missed you.

“Hi.”

“Y/N,” Hotch’s voice lifted in surprise. “I wasn’t sure if you would answer.”

You sighed.

“Well, here I am.”

“I’m…” Hotch trailed off for a second. “I’m calling because I need you to come back to Quantico.”

“Not interested.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important, Y/N,” Hotch spoke quickly before you could hang up.

You thought about it for a moment.

“I’ve already sent the jet your way. JJ will meet you at the airport.”

You chuckle.

“I haven’t agreed yet.”

“I think you’ll want to be back here. Just trust me.”

The thought of reuniting with JJ and the rest of the team was tempting. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them all these months.

“Okay.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

JJ met up with you at the airport runway, pulling you into a tight embrace that you reciprocated. The two of you caught up with each other as the jet got ready for takeoff.

JJ sat up straight, her face becoming serious but still warm.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you before we land.”

You held her gaze, sensing a hint of anxiety in her voice.

“What is it?”

Just like seven months ago in that waiting room, the world stopped spinning when you heard JJ’s words. You sat like a statue as she recounted the events, from Emily’s transfer to Paris to the team taking down Doyle at last.

When you were unresponsive for too long, JJ gently touched your hand.

“Emily is alive?” you ask for confirmation, not believing what you heard.

“Yes.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Your steps from the runway into the office were quick and frantic, even JJ had to try to keep up with you. Through the glass doors of the office, you made eye contact with Hotch.

“Emily’s alive? Where is she? Is she here?”

Hotch didn’t answer your rapid-fire questions, but he swiftly led you into his office. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you could hear each pump of blood.

The figure in the room turned around and you gasped when your eyes met brown ones that you thought you would never see again. The Emily that stood before you had small changes in her appearance, but she was still your beloved Emily.

Emily approached you slowly, as one might approach a scared puppy.

“Y/N.”

You let out a sob, diving forward and pulling Emily into your embrace. She held you, tenderly stroking your hair as you cried into her neck. Tears sprang into Emily’s eyes as she felt her heart begin to mend having you in her arms.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” Emily repeated softly. “I had to keep us safe until Doyle was captured. I’m so sorry I had to leave you, and that I had to lie to you.”

You shook your head, pulling away slightly to see her face.

“You had no choice, I understand. I’m just glad you’re here. I thought I lost you for good.”

“You’ll never lose me again,” Emily wiped a tear from your cheek. “These past seven months have been hell without you. All I could think about was how rocky our relationship had been in the months before I left. I promise you that I won’t let us go back to that. It’s not going to be easy, and I have a lot of issues to work through, but I’m going to put in the work. I trust you wholeheartedly, Y/N.”

You smile at her words, feeling that things will be different this time around.

“That means a lot to me, Em.”

Emily tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cradling your chin in her hand.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

༻✧༺

Stefaniya hadn't planned at all on leaving her room today, much less socializing with the one person she'd been avoiding, but she's tired of listening to her own thoughts.

The sounds of crying caught her attention. There was only one explanation as to who it was coming from, as the building was mostly abandoned and Stefaniya was fresh out of tears. She begrudgingly pulled herself out of the warm bed. Her footsteps were quiet as she walked out of her room, her thin socks providing somewhat of a barrier from the cold floor. The journey only took a few seconds, maybe less, as Natasha's room was just across the hall from hers. Stefaniya wondered why Natasha wasn't at her desk monitoring the computer as she normally does at this hour.

She lightly pressed her ear to the wooden door, hearing Natasha behind it. A particularly loud sob sent her heart dropping to her feet. She had never heard Natasha cry in her room like this before— the redhead was always the one keeping herself together— and her body filled with guilt.

It was no secret that Stefaniya had been avoiding Natasha for the last 5 months after Thanos snapped. Not that she wanted to, of course, but she felt like she had no better choice. The pain she felt from her entire world crumbling down was like no other. She had felt the pain of being torn away from her family at a young age. She had felt the pain of being in Red Room, of what Dreykov did to her. She had felt the pain of remembering everything she'd done while under the mind-control. But nothing could compare to the pain she felt, learning that the Avengers lost, realizing that she had failed Yelena. She had never quite understood what it was like, having the weight of the entire world on her shoulders, but now she did. And she failed everyone.

She knew that it wasn't all on her; the fight took a team effort, and everyone lost someone that day. But she also knew that it wasn't her place to unleash her burden on Natasha, not when the redheaded Avenger was dealing with her own. It hurt a lot to ignore the one person she desperately wanted to lean onto, but it seemed like the best decision at the time.

Stefaniya sighed softly, walking to the large kitchen downstairs. She checked the pantry and fridge, which was surprisingly full. She mindlessly picked up a few ingredients, either putting them back or cradling it in her elbow to use.

As she laid out the ingredients on the countertop, she realizes what she's trying to make. Borscht, a red beet soup. As she starts to make it, a childhood memory resurfaced in her brain.

[flashback]

"Aw, shit," Alyona, her big sister, exclaimed.

"Aly! Watch your language around your sister, please."

"Sorry, Mama."

Alyona scooped up the plastic discs into a pile and switched her attention to the TV, which displayed the week's weather forecast.

"When is dad coming back?"

The girls' mom sighed sadly. "I'm not sure."

Stefaniya turned away from the Connect-Four board to look at her mom, who stood over the sink with some vegetables and a peeler.

"Dad's always gone for so long. I want him to stay here more," Stefaniya spoke softly to herself, but she was overheard by the other two members in the house.

"I know, I do, too. But he's doing very important work. I'm sure he'll be home soon, my darlings."

Even from a young age, Stefaniya had been aware that her parents had been covering up about Dad's job. They'd always redirected the conversation, so she and Alyona never knew exactly what it is he did— Stefaniya just knew that whatever it was, he was always gone for weeks at a time and came back looking more exhausted than the last trip. She only grew more worried and just wanted her dad back.

She pulled away from her thoughts and walked into the kitchen to join her mom.

"What are you making, Mama?" the five-year-old tugged lightly on the hem of her mom's shirt.

"Borscht. Red beet soup. It's a family recipe," Mama's gentle voice answered. She washed her hands and dried them on a towel, picking up the young girl and setting her on the counter. "Perhaps one day when you are older, I will teach you how to make it like my mother taught me."

"Why don't you teach Alyona? She's older than me," Stefaniya suggested.

"She has no interest in cooking, she likes to draw and paint. But maybe you would like to be my little chef, my sunshine?"

Stefaniya nods excitedly. "Can you teach me now?"

"Well, you're still young, you will forget," Mama continued chopping up the beets, a bright pink-red stain coating her fingers. "But I suppose I can."

Stefaniya smiles, her nose crinkling. Mama giggles at her youngest daughter. "So first, you want to peel the skin off the beets, then chop them up into tiny pieces like this..."

[end flashback]

Stefaniya isn't sure how she remembers the recipe so well after all these years. She blinks a few times, realizing that her mind was working on autopilot and she was already done with the soup. She softly smiles for the first time in months, wondering if somehow, her mom was there to guide her through the process.

After cleaning up the kitchen, she pours the red soup into two bowls, one with more soup than the other. She put the leftovers into a container into the fridge for later. She then dug out a tray from a cabinet to bring the food upstairs. She laid two spoons, two napkins, and one glass of water onto the tray and began her walk back to her room.

She put the scarcely-filled bowl, a napkin, and a spoon onto her desk. After rearranging the remaining contents on the tray, she walked over to Natasha's door. The crying had stopped, but she heard the sound of the TV on, letting her know that Natasha was still in there. She carefully set the tray on the ground, knocked twice on the door, then quickly disappeared into her room.

Outside of Stefaniya's now closed door, Natasha stuck her head out into the hallway with a confused expression. She looked to the ground, where a neat tray sat. She smiled, recognizing the Russian dish, and carried it inside.

She taste-tested a spoonful, her stomach finally at rest after the hours she had spent starving. She'd really missed her family today and her emotions got the best of her. She wondered if Stefaniya had heard her, even though she was trying really hard not to be too loud.

She pulled out a pad of blue sticky notes and a pen out of her desk. She scribbled a quick message of appreciation on it, folded it into an origami heart— like Lila had taught her— and then used her finger to flick it through the bottom of her door.

A small streak of blue entered Stefaniya's periphery, causing her to set down her bowl and walk up to the door. She picked up the piece of paper, smirking at the heart shape, and carefully unfolded it. As she read the short message, the smallest sense of happiness entered her heart, but also sadness and guilt.

tu comptes tant pour moi

[you mean so much to me]

-