dream

Y/N: What? You mean behind my back?

*Wanda, sighing and trying not to laugh, shows the team the text*

Y/N’s text message: Are we still on for tomorrow?

Wanda: They’re talking about our wedding by the way.

Natasha, replying to the post: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU”

Y/N, looking at the team: I genuinely don’t know how the hell i’m supposed to have kids... you’re telling me if they suggest getting ice cream for dinner and picking up another dog on our way back I have to say ‘no’ and act like that’s not a great freaking idea?! Sorry I’m not fake.

Tony, looking at everyone: What would you do if your partner stabbed you?

Y/N, talking about Natasha: If my wife stabbed me I’d thrust myself deeper into the blade just to be a few inches closer to her but that’s just me, I don’t know.

Wanda: I sat on the same lawn chair as them, kind of wiggled in, and said "I'm cold". They left me alone in the chair and proceeded to build a giant fire. It took like an hour. When they were finished making the fire they sat back down in a different lawn chair.

Clint: No one passes up a good excuse to light shit on fire.

Wanda: Y/N said they saw the Hydra Agent the other day.

Y/N: When I say "the other day" it could be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Y/N: Ability to stab.

Natasha: No!

Y/N: I would choose you.

Wanda, smiling: Really? Are you serious?

Y/N: Please just take my word for it, I don’t want to lie twice.

Y/N, walking towards her holding a cat: Look I found Liho Nat!

Natasha: That’s not Liho. The name tag says “Cinnamon”!

Y/N: No wonder that little girl kept crying and saying “give me cinnamon! give me cinnamon!”

*the team trying not to laugh*

Y/N, completely serious: And I looked her right in the eye and said “I don’t carry spices in my pocket!”

Wanda, about Y/N: Sometimes I just want to shrink them down and put them in a snow globe and shake it around a lot.

Y/N, excitedly runs back into the room: Can we do that?! That’d be so fun.

Tony: Has anyone ever had an experience with an evil entity following them?

Y/N, about their twins: Yes, but once they're potty trained and a bit more independent, they tend to settle down.

*the team laughs*

Y/N, to the twins: “Mickey” is a nickname, and nicknames are for friends, and Michael Mouse is no friend of mine.

*Billy and Tommy giggle*