sup

It’s always so unbelievable to me when a beautiful perfect girl who’s dope asf likes a guy but he feels nothing for her bc she’s not like a brunette or something. He’ll be like she doesn’t get the square cut nails she does the oval ones and I hate when a female has oval nails I want the mother of my kids to have square nails

imagine you’re a ninth grader just goofing off with your buddy and you come up with a name for a band that makes both of you laugh while you’re stoned and you record a couple of tapes during summer break using that stupid band name you came up with to make your friends laugh and then forty years pass and you’re stuck with your entire life’s work and legacy being called Ween

guy who really likes bagels: hmmm... i bagely remember that...

the way i feel about retirement is similar to how suicidal teenagers feel about getting to 25

Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

grossed is such a weird way to describe how much a movie makes. how much did this movie yucky

sucide note flagged as 100% ai

I get it though. Every time i watch a 90s movie where broke 20 somethings are just hanging out and partying in the city nonstop wearing cute clothes i have to remind myself that it's fake . It's fake.