howdy, partner

do you see this shit my liege

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

i need to change my whole life in one day. watch out world. i'm about to rearrange my furniture and cut my hair and develop new yet fully formed healthy habits all in the span of 24 glorious hours. i will also be buying groceries.

Slenderman is a tall good boy and there’s nothing wrong with tormenting and killing amateur filmmakers

What did amateur filmmakers ever do to you

I live in New York City

I am making everyone remember normal goose

reblog if youre a full blown freak addicted to puffy fat nipples.

@official-boob-posts

this is what I do on the side

wait you can sleep in your bed ive just been putting my laundry there

girl you erected a mysterious black monolith that contained all the knowledge your culture had ever collected were you hoping he'd develop rudimentary tool use

Reblog if you are really good at clicking reblog

By ‘egg producers’, I choose to imagine they mean just a flock of disappointed British birds staring glumly at a phone.