mourning the lost episodes

Don't ask how I stumbled upon this song or made the connection, but I need to talk about this. Whenever I listen to “Take Me Down” by Josephine Illingworth, I am reminded of Jamie. So I wanted to share a few of my thoughts.

Take me down to the ferry boat The hair on your arm is turning gold As we lap at the only sea I ever could enter quickly Because you were watching me, yeah

These first lines are so interesting to me. The lyrical subject is asking to be taken away. They are looking for physical distance, but seem also willing to go beyond. They have felt trapped, scared even, but with the person they are singing to, they feel safe. Like they can go up against the sea – face anything, really. They are brought to a ferry boat, the person they are singing about is put into the role of a ferryman (stirring, the most powerful and knowledgeable person).

Before I continue: there are two readings I have for the song in the context of Jamie. One is the ferryman as death or despair, the second is the ferryman as the Doctor. I'll concentrate on the second. The Doctor in the role of a ferryman is extremely compelling to me. First and foremost because the ferryman is quite literally a traveller. In fiction, it's his role to travel (through both the physical and metaphysical world, sometimes touching the mythological) but most importantly to stir. An immense responsibility and power. The Doctor too is taking their companions on a journey (a physical and personal one). And just like the ferryman and the Doctor can be guides, travelling with them is a costly endeavour.

(I want to add here, that I actually thought the lyrics said "fairy boat" when I first listened to the song, so I, of course, drew connections to Scottish mythology. But I'm not gonna get into that lol)

Jamie following the Doctor, trusting them enough to stake his life on their decisions. He grows during his time in the TARDIS, during his travels and adventures.

Take me down to the indigo We called it the pan, but I don't really know And flash of your eyes in the tiny field My favorite skirt is turning green From grass, I think

Hehe I guess it's obvious why I draw a connection to Jamie here. The image of Jamie's kilt turning green (instead of blood-red or brown from dirt, for once) is a rather beautiful one. It also just speaks to a certain kind of freedom he can only experience by the Doctor's side, while still drawing connections back to his roots. The green fields he grew up in.

I wasn't thinking when you told me I just couldn't believe my time had come To love like this And you weren't speaking, but your hand was on me I just couldn't believe I'd had been so dumb To say nothing

Here, the queer!jamie agenda is in full force. A Jamie who slowly learns what love can mean. What being in love feels like and that it is okay. That he is safe and just as loved.

And of course: touch. Jamie is a tactile person, especially when it comes to the Doctor. To reach out for him, to hold on to him, has almost become a second nature by the time he is forced to leave.

And take me down, take me down, take me down Take me down, take me down, take me down, take me down Take me down, take me down, take me down, take me down Take me down, take me down, take me down

The lyrical subject repeats their request (their plea, really) again and again. You could read desperation into it as well as a special sort of longing, which I always connect to Jamie. He is one of the companions who leaves the Doctor, not of his own free will. We hear him say over and over that he wants to travel with the Doctor for as long as he lives. “Take me down” here thus could also be read as “let me stay with you, please”.

Take me down to the silver lake Where midges are whirling in your face I think I remember the coat you wore Still smelled of that wood smoke from months before When we didn't talk

This one hits differently depending on whether one accepts season 6B as canon. The image of the Doctor returning to Jamie and Jamie watching him. Soaking in his ever move, the way nature and light touch his being, his face. Him noticing tiny details that are different from what he now remembers. A new smell to his coat. The devastation of knowing he will forget even this again.

I wasn't thinking when you told me I just couldn't believe my time had come You opened me And you weren't speaking, but your hand was on me I just couldn't believe the way it spun So perfectly

God, I love Josephine's lyrics so much. The lyrical subject saying “you opened me” could be interpreted in so many ways. I like to think of it as a kind of cultural or spiritual opening in the context of Jamie. Being taken away from his home and suddenly existing in a space so far removed from everything he knows. When Jamie joined the Doctor, he did not fully know what he got himself into – but he loved it. He loves exploring and going on adventures. He is curious, but that doesn't prevent him from being taken aback at times.

Oh, and I'm going to sleep in your arm And I'm going to sleep in your arm And I'm going to sleep in your arm, arm And I'm going to sleep Oh, and I'm going to sleep in your arm And I'm going to sleep in your arm And I'm going to sleep in your arm, arm And I'm going to sleep

We are at the end. These final words can be interpreted as a victory: the lyrical subject rejoices, their love is returned, they will spend their nights (and life?) with their loved-one. Because TwoJamie is nothing without heartbreak, one could also imagine a Jamie who has already been forcefully returned to Scotland. Who goes to bed every night and dreams. Feeling the phantom touch and the love of someone he cannot remember but longs for.

Sooooooo that's it! I'm hoping for a few of your thoughts. I'm not good at interpreting music tbh and even worse at putting my thoughts/feelings into (English) words. Still hoping you have fun reading through this :)