Two cats share a nuzzle in Shapinsay in Scotland's Orkney Islands. The islands, some 20 miles north of the mainland, have been occupied since the Neolithic. Photo: Jim Richardson

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Two cats share a nuzzle in Shapinsay in Scotland's Orkney Islands. The islands, some 20 miles north of the mainland, have been occupied since the Neolithic. Photo: Jim Richardson

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musings on august    Â
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iâm sure it works for some people but the thought of marrying your high school sweetheart from your little hometown without ever experiencing anything without them sounds like a punishment for some unforgivable and inhumane act you carried out in a previous life
they tried to kill me for this post
(no beers in) there is something fundamentally wrong with the way I am currently living my life. I have to get out of here and revisit a place that I have long left behind and have spent many years desperately trying to forget because at least there is familiarity in the pain it brings me
(two beers in) gordon porlock secret warlock

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"I Drivhuset" (1980) by Susanne Ussing â Sculpture installed at Ordrupgaardsamlingen
Words from Clarice Lispector in The Hour of the Star
Penda's Fen (1974), dir. Alan Clarke
âPeople should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.â âIsnât it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?â âIâll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.â âAutistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.â âI donât want AMABs in my space because theyâre dangerous.â âYou shouldnât have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.â âAnyone who does something that awful isnât human.â âSome people really shouldnât be allowed to vote.â
This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

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by Emily Dickinson
Many months ago, after a very rough week of bombings I was going through local chats of my hometown where tired and scared people were arguing with each other out of pure exhaustion. Main question you could see them asking in different ways was ÂŤIs it going to be this bad forever now?Âť. Weâve had bad bombings before, but not like this and definitely not like right now. Before we used to have 1 or 2 days of quiet in between; they usually happened at night and when they happened in daylight we would joke about our bombing routine being disrupted. But gradually it turned into every type of weapon the whole day every day with breaks lasting hours at maximum instead of days. Air raid used to mean something: you hear an air raid, danger, air raid is over when the danger is over (with the exceptions of very fast weapons like ballistic missiles that weâve often heard exploding before an air raid could turn on). Now, when air raid is just never-ending, it doesnât really matter, you canât be alert the whole day.
And one message in those chats has stuck with me. Some guy said: ÂŤWeâve all seen what Russians did to Mariupol, Bakhmut, Huliaipole. Move as far as you can and forget this place like a nightmareÂť.
Forget this place? I couldnât get this message out of my mind and thought about it while looking at everything as if for the first time, trying on this perspective.
Flowers waiting for spring in front of every apartment building, residents plant them and tend the gardens on their own, just to have a pretty communal yard (explosion). My usual route to school and another one we used to take when we got bored of the main one. My best friend and I have never ran out of topics to discuss while going to the school and back. We stood near her house for so long when going home because we couldnât stop talking (drone buzzing). This is where my friends and I tried to smoke cigarettes for the first time when we were teenagers and thought that adults are crazy for doing this by choice (drone going down). This is where I almost won an e-book in a quiz many years ago and I still remember the right answers I didnât give because I was scared to make a mistake (explosion). Books my parents bought me when I was a kid and jokingly asked me not to read them so fast this time (bombs in the air). My childhood plushie Iâve had almost my entire life, canât imagine it in a different bedroom, heâs a homebody and a proud local (explosion). Pizza place where my friends and I celebrated end of the school year. My dad burned his hand here with a hot plate on my birthday once. The food was good (artillery somewhere far away). Listening to music in the backseat and looking at my favorite view in the entire world. One turn and weâre home (all clear).
Forget this place? This is the only place worth remembering.
sunday again i guess
fast car by tracy chapman isnt even a song thats God
iâm really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

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Barbara Kingsolver from Demon Copperhead (2022)
rainer maria rilke, letters to a young poet