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@chad-bian
Small about-
Iām 25 and I use he/she pronouns
Iām a tme nonbinary lesbian
This blog is explicitly pro transfem. TERFs and āgender criticalā bullshit will always be blocked
While this was originally created as a discourse blog Iām mostly using it now for feminist posts and posts that critique harmful rhetoric
I am a whole ass leatherdyke now š
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also canāt get over that guy who said he WOULD just identify as a straight trans man but he doesnāt like straight women/thinks straight dating is āickyā so he identifies as a lesbian so he can date lesbians. how am i supposed to react to a guy saying that with his whole chest. what am i supposed to say to that
men have no place in lesbian communities period. if youre a man and you want to be counted as a lesbian so badly, consider that you might not be a man
if youre a man and you insist on your asab to give yourself to acess to womens spaces, particularly lesbian spaces, authority on womens issues, as well as status as a victim, why even bother transitioning in the first place?
and if youre a cis man inexplicably drawn to lesbian spaces: cmere sister lets pick you out some new pronouns
Any TME that promotes the conflation between pedophilia and transfemininity or provides cover and defense for the small number of āexcluding pedophiles is like excluding the T from LGBTā propagandists is not declaring themselves an ally to trans women but are instead declaring themselves as an enemy.
During a groomer panic you found the small handful of backwards trans women who advocate for grooming (of primarily young trans women by the way) and elevated them as the true voice of the community.
Basically a bunch of you affirmed that yes you do think transfemininity is tied to child rape fantasies and the āMinor Attracted Personsā framework but thatās a good thing. Our āalliesā are loudly saying this during a right wing backlash against our existence, that maybe we are groomers but thatās not a bad thing. Honestly demoralizing to have to see or engage with.
you people can't even boycott chick-fil-a.
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I keep seeing people say things like "if a bisexual woman chooses to live as a lesbian and never act on her attraction to men what makes her any different from any other lesbian, why cant she call herself a lesbian?" And I could point out the obvious that the internal experience of lacking attraction to men is a factor that affects a lot of lesbians' lives in a major way, in addition to the fact we date women. But also how is "living as a lesbian" not considered garden variety "pick a side" biphobia? Bi women can prefer women, only date women, marry women, etc. You do not have to be a lesbian to do that.
something deeply depressing about the fact that, in english-speaking LGBT spaces, you have to choose between being cut off from your community or being called a slur, either directly or implicitly. even if people individually agree to not call you a queer to your face, you're still forced to allow yourself to be labeled that if you participate in LGBT spaces at all. it's in the names - queer safe space, queer meetup, queer book club, queer community, queer literature, queer event, on and on and on. the best you can hope for is people awkwardly agreeing to not call you that word directly, clearly not understanding at all why you find it uncomfortable. you can't express that discomfort upon hearing the word without warning, or being called that by people who don't know you dislike it, or seeing it plastered all over the place. any kind of negative reaction to the word queer will get you an uncomfortable conversation at best, and at worst you're getting called a conservative TERF exclusionist and kicked out of the space.
some of the most vulnerable LGBT people - those of us from rural communities, or conservative areas, or who have bigoted families - are excluded by default from the spaces they need most, and all in the name of including people who have no business being there.
i think there is something to be said about this wave of white women made media that is so surface level with an underlying racist and/or insensitive bias and that refuses to engage with criticism. i'm talking taylor swift's the life of a showgirl, emerald fennell's wuthering heights, colleen hoover, the acotar series and booktok in general, etc. whenever you dare to raise concerns about the superficiality or the questionable writing or the treatment of poc in those pieces you get shut down with a "it's not that deep" or "let women have fun". this weaponisation of misogyny to justify slop made for mass consumption, especially considering how wide spread it is becoming, scares me quite a bit. to quote princess weekes, "the girlypopification of anti-intellectualism" is truly concerning, and i do believe it is linked to the rise of far right movements worldwide. if you refuse to engage with what you are being presented with, and exclusively consume brain smoothing content "for fun" then yeah you do become more susceptible to propaganda. it is that deep.
when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.
AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHERā¼ļø
it is about being a woman. hope that helps!
reading comprehension questions for the notes:
is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?
why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesnāt want to be a wife or mother?
are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?
are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?
core concept: what is gender essentialism?
is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?
look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means youāre incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?
what trait are you perpetuating when you assume that women who do not want to be wives and mothers must be aroace or trans? is it gender essentialism?
i agree that you shouldnāt shy away from consuming dark media because talking about sensitive topics through art is a good way to bring awareness and also just make you think, but i just donāt really know why you want to explore that stuff through shit like ao3 south park fanfiction. like go pick up lolita or something
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I feel like some people should stop saying that tumblr bans trans women more than anyone else in a "none of the trans women did anything bad" kind of way, but rather "some of the massively banned trans women did very much break tos and did things that deserved to get banned, but they are still banned more than any other group who does the same thing and that's the problem"
wow that's wonderful news im glad that a trans woman is getting to join a women's soccer tea-
...oh
how the fuck is this worth celebrating, this trans guy medically detransitions to go play for the women's team while trans women are still fully banned from playing. and wow *he* gets to feel safe and included in the women's team but fuck any trans women who want to join.
every time I log back in here I get 80 anons telling me I'm some kind of chronically online freak for still being an exclusionist, as if inclusionism isn't also a stance in the exact same discourse that these people are clearly still invested in. y'all care just as much about LGBT discourse as I do, just with the widely accepted opinions on it. the actual issues exclus were concerned with never went away, it's just that cishets being in LGBT spaces is now so normalized that there isn't much room for anyone to oppose it anymore. everything I was concerned about back in 2019 is still happening, and often even more entrenched and prevalent than it was back then. I don't ever intend to shut up about how I think that's wrong.
tbh the main reason I still post on this blog at all is because of my experiences with LGBT spaces in undergrad. you cannot escape the q slur in them. they don't prioritize LGBT issues. every one I was part of had entirely reorganized around the desires of people who didn't want to see gay PDA and were obsessed with how they were gayer than actual gay people for like, not wanting to date. people made the most out of pocket sexual comments about me and got away with it by saying they didn't feel sexual attraction so it wasn't harassment. I never got to be in any space where I wasn't around people who were cis and only attracted to the opposite gender.
the rhetoric of "the LGBT community isn't a limited resource, so it's pointless to argue over who is and isn't LGBT, do whatever you want forever" did not stay confined to the internet, like we've always said it wouldn't, and it's resulted in LGBT spaces decentering the people they were originally supposed to be for. if you still think this is just stupid online discourse that doesn't affect anything, you are either willingly blind or have very little contact with real-world LGBT spaces.
and yes I know there are bigger problems in the world. obviously. shockingly, I have the capacity to care about multiple things at the same time, especially things that continue to greatly affect my ability to find safe places and community in my day-to-day life.
Thereās a blog that has womb in the url whoās pinned post is literally like āI knew this would cause problems from people thinking Iām a terf but itās misogynistic that I canāt express love for my body without people accusing me of being transphobicā and I was like fair enough letās see what you post and then the next post was literally an anti-transition post. You are dogwhistling on purpose and getting mad when people notice because you are in fact a terf and a transphobe!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my coworker told me hes "straight but maybe demisexual" and i explained that a man who is only sexually attracted to women he personally knows is still, by all definitions, heterosexual and he seemed a little disappointed by the news
by tumblrs calculations its queer for a straight man to fuck no strings attached but its also queer for a straight man to like a woman before he has sex with her so if you think about it the real faggots are cishet guys. we should start yelling it from cars
I think the problem with most student lgbt groups is that they require you to have no boundaries and no defined identity. Youāre allowed to be part of their group as long as youāre just blindly agreeing with everything. These groups expect you to be there under the assumption that all sexuality is fluid and all gender is fluid when itās not. Iām not going to be part of a community that will shun me if I dare say that trans men are men for real so I wonāt fuck them. I donāt deserve to be talked down to as a lesbian and I donāt deserve the treatment Iāve gotten for being nonbinary and being unable to medically transition (because of discrimination!) Student lgbt groups are just really misogynistic from my experience and they really will just be pissed at you and try and throw you out for having boundaries
