something deeply depressing about the fact that, in english-speaking LGBT spaces, you have to choose between being cut off from your community or being called a slur, either directly or implicitly. even if people individually agree to not call you a queer to your face, you're still forced to allow yourself to be labeled that if you participate in LGBT spaces at all. it's in the names - queer safe space, queer meetup, queer book club, queer community, queer literature, queer event, on and on and on.
the best you can hope for is people awkwardly agreeing to not call you that word directly, clearly not understanding at all why you find it uncomfortable. you can't express that discomfort upon hearing the word without warning, or being called that by people who don't know you dislike it, or seeing it plastered all over the place. any kind of negative reaction to the word queer will get you an uncomfortable conversation at best, and at worst you're getting called a conservative TERF exclusionist and kicked out of the space.
some of the most vulnerable LGBT people - those of us from rural communities, or conservative areas, or who have bigoted families - are excluded by default from the spaces they need most, and all in the name of including people who have no business being there.