I did not have parasocial relations with that man

good morning world who’s ready for another day of feeling slightly nauseous and weird about everything

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

chimney is like one of those guys that when asked how he’s doing, he looks over at his beautifulhotsmartfunny wife and two perfect children and is like “ah, can’t complain :)” meanwhile the person asking is his current infectious disease doctor and they were asking about his symptoms.

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

lavonte’s work-husband is going through a mid-eternal life crisis, some random farmers market lesbian immediately called out his situationship, and he can’t run the dog for mayor. he’s really going through it.

Sometimes a dual income male partnership is four men and two women

i was born in the absolute RIGHT generation if i had to have children i would KILL MY SELF!!!!

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

nobody’s made a textpost since 6000 BCE

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling