local gay uncle

Me? Oh I work at the Paranornal Response Organization. It’s mostly rounding up cursed copies of Minecraft. Yeah, all those ARG videos are 100% real. There’s like. 15 a fucking day. Honestly I’d estimate 50% of modern-day abnormality sightings are Minecraft-based. Reaaaally clogs up the system.

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

everything will probably be fine but i have to get really anxious just in case

can you imagine how good shows would be if writers thought of women as human beings

If you stay up late enough you discover a new type of being horny that doesn't have anything to do with sex but is unmistakably still the same emotion as horniness... this is a kind of horny you generally only feel abt god, unconsumated psychosexual rivalries, the idea of being fed grapes while reclining, etc. and then this knowledge vanishes again as the sun rises. like the morning dew

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire

Burning the mammoth flank just a lirtle instead of eating it raw gives grug more calorie to think. Grug thinking about color symbolism in silence of the lambs

The bird that torments Prometheus learned something

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

you've heard of death of the author, now get ready for death of the audience: where instead of basing your reaction on a thousand uninformed opinions online, you actually read the text and engage with it

girl help there's people on this post who can't actually read my text