Alchemy

We had lunch at a seaside restaurant and at the end of the meal, my sister and I split a Grand Marnier crème brûlée.

We still talk about it all these decades later, it was so delicious.

I’ve made crème brûlée a few times over the years, but today I decided to try adding Grand Marnier. I also used the best vanilla extract I have that I keep at the back of the cupboard and use sparingly.

Y’all?

It’s insane how good that tasted.

I just popped them into the oven.

When I mentioned that I was an artist, his face lit up. He showed me his daughter’s artwork and then he showed me his. He’s good! He told me he studied art in high school and wasn’t able to pursue it further but is now exploring it again and is also learning how to do restoration tattoos.

That actually made me feel really good because it means that aesthetics are important to him.

He explained that the waiting list for surgery is a couple years long. I felt deflated but I was prepared for that.

Then he said that he wanted to do the port removal surgery with the reduction, and he wants to get the port out as soon as possible, so he said he will squeeze me into his schedule and get it done before the end of the year. Hooray for that! Then my face got to light up.

I didn’t recognize the name and went to look at the person’s profile to see if we had any friends in common and we didn’t.

Then I looked at the name properly and it clicked. Eula! She was our helper back when we lived in Caracas. When I was like 12 and 13. I loved her. She was always smiling, always up for a laugh. We used to have so much fun together. She was Guyanese, and if I recall correctly, she left because another family she worked for was leaving the country and asked her come with them.

I also checked in on Rex’s ex wife who went for a biopsy on the breast clinic. We (@mistavybe who accompanied me to my appointment) hung out with her while she waited and just gave her some moral support.

In other news that’s not medical-related, I’ve long wanted to get into doing murals. And they seem to be on trend these days. So on the advice of Rex’s brother who is also an artist and just did a mural for Starbucks, I’m going to do one on one of our free walls to get some exposure. And film it and put it up on social media and see if anyone bites. The one thing I have going for me is I do figurative work and no one else does that here (that I’ve seen at any rate).

I want to post the design I came up with because I love it sooooooooo much. But I’m also feeling a bit hesitant. Should I?

I’m rewatching Gilmore Girls because Netflix said they’re removing it. And I can’t let it go without watching it again. I never saw it when it was live and watched it years after it finished. I adore it. And characteristically, I kind of don’t remember much so it’s sort of like seeing it for the first time again.

They do it to address asymmetry from surgery, and also because it’s easier to detect disease in smaller breasts. They often do it during the lumpectomy but my surgeon didn’t do reductions.

He shows me one of my mom (Gigi to him) and he asks me who are two other women in the picture.

“Those are Gigi’s sisters. Did you know Gigi has two sisters?”

The look of surprise on his face.

“You mean I have two other Gigi’s!?”

I laughed and nodded my head.

And while his reaction was cute, it sort of saddened me that he doesn’t know my aunts and uncles.

Then again I didn’t know my parents’ aunts and uncles all that well either. They were around, but I didn’t really have much of a relationship with them. I guess that’s normal.

And she’s reached her threshold now.

Today it was about the Brillo pad she was using. “Look at the poor quality. This clearly didn’t come from the States because it’s rusting.”

Also she was bitching about the quality of the Earl Grey tea in the supermarket.

Yesterday it was something else. The day before another thing.

“This is why I can’t live here. In the States-” and then a litany of complaints about everything about Trinidad.

I get really tired of it. How can you compare the States to Trinidad??? We’re not the US. You didn’t just arrive here. This isn’t a surprise that we’re less developed and the standards are different.

She does this every single time. I honestly don’t even know why she comes back here.

Anyway thankfully she’s leaving next week. She’s already complaining about the airport.

She’s going in for a biopsy on Monday, the same day I have my last visit with my oncologist.

I told her I’ll go check on her. She’ll be in a different building at the same hospital.

I messaged her tonight to ask how she’s feeling (emotional and anxious) and gave her some reassurance. I’m hoping for the best, but should it turn out to be the worst, I told her that I was here for her. We’re not close, but we’ve always gotten along well.

I went to watch this movie with Gary tonight called Obsession. It’s a horror/thriller and when I tell y’all it was sooooo good? At one point there was this jump scare and I almost ended up in Gary’s lap. I was clutching his hands and grimacing. We couldn’t stop laughing at our reactions when we got out.

We ended up blabbing in his car for hours after, went to get gas, came back and blabbed some more.

After I took a shower and settled into bed I saw an email from my oncologist. She confirmed the results of my scan:

It’s starting to sink in.

I’M CANCER FREE!!!!!

I'm not a medical expert but basically, it says no evidence of recurrence or spread.

I'm in the clear.

I felt like crying when I read it, but the tears wouldn't really come.

And now I sort of don't feel anything.

There's a lot of endings happening right now, and I think I'm just having trouble wrapping my mind around it.

I'm gonna go catch a movie with my buddy Gary tonight and blow off some steam. That's a nice way to celebrate.

I think I won't properly exhale until I see my doctor on the 15th.