I'm gay for dangerous ladies

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

This got over 600 new notes in the past few hours. We're all vibing with Toddler on this Wednesday I see.

He grisps you 🤏

Only fair, to both grisp and be grisped

In all fairness, if a humongous monster grabbed me by the legs and subjected me to ultimately harmless but nonetheless distressing and incomprehensible procedures with neither consent nor explanation, I too would attempt to bite them

[ID from alt: oil painting of a desert landscape. a semitransparent, ghostly coyote is superimposed over it with its eye corresponding to where the moon is in the daytime sky End ID]

@chetungwan

I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.

in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead

"average German fairy tale is full of fucked up shit" factoid actualy just statistical error. average German fairy tales are no more fucked up than others. Fucked-Up Shit Enjoyers Wilhelm and Jacob, who lived in cave & wrote fucked up fairy tales each day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted