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@catwif3

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imagine if people actually took romantic consent seriously. wouldn't it be fucking awesome. i know they never will, but just. take a moment and imagine it with me
no more "just give them a chance, maybe you'll end up liking them!", no more "if you're going to reject someone, at least apologize to them!", no more shaming people for breaking up/divorcing, no more demonizing people for rejecting other peoples' romantic advances, no more shoving romance in romance repulsed peoples' face on purpose to provoke us, no more "i know we agreed to just be friends with benefits, but i thought you were going to fall in love with me eventually!", no more "i can fix them" when the only thing "wrong" with them is that they want to fuck without dating.
wouldn't it be nice?
A friend I used to hang out with every week once confessed his feelings for me, which I didn't reciprocate. I wanted to stay friends, didn't see why we couldn't, we had been friends the whole time without any romance, why did that have to change? but he decided to stop hanging out with me.
I was heartbroken and felt tossed aside. I didn't understand why our friendship wasn't worth anything to him if he couldn't have me romantically or sexually. I felt betrayed and dehumanised, like I didn't matter to him as a person but only as a romantic prospect.
When I told other friends about it, to my surprise they all sided with him. "He is heartbroken, it's hard to get rejected" even my THERAPIST said this. It's not like I didn't empathize with him, but wasn't I rejected too? No one else could see that but me, they placed me as some sort of villain that had power over him in that situation, when all I did was set a boundary between friendship and romance. All I did was not consent to the terms he wanted for our relationship, I rejected them, my terms were different and he rejected those.
I've had my heart broken by friends over and over and it hurt the same, if not more, than any romantic heartbreak. Why is friendship undervalued next to romantic feelings?
To be honest, to this day I'm still pissed that no one sided with me on this. There's so much unraveling that needs to get done around how we view different relationships in our lives, and I feel like most people can't even scratch the surface when it comes to this questioning.
i desperately need people to stop avoiding what this post is actually about. stop derailing and trying to make it be about something else instead.
THIS POST IS ABOUT ROMANTIC CONSENT.
even if the person in question didn't want to fuck them, even if he just wanted a wholesome, purely romantic, nothing sexual at all relationship, it would STILL be fucked up to BLAME someone for rejecting that.
similarly, if someone really wanted to just fuck, but they were honest and clear about that, and handled rejection gracefully, there would be literally no issue with that.
when will you people understand what i thought i made incredibly fucking clear in the original post. the problem is not, and never was, the presence of potential sexual attraction. the problem is, and always has been, ignoring ROMANTIC CONSENT.
#people think that relationships are made of two parts#one part being ~Love~ (when it is Real it is perfect and pure and incapable of harm)#and Lust (dangerous and only ever potentially safe when tamed by a high amount of Real Love)#and thus they can only imagine that harm done in or relating to a relationship#is because of a lack of Real (romantic) Love + the presence of Lust#also i say relationship instead of just romantic relationship#because i dont think allo society is actually that good at distinguishing between types of relationships#they don't really see friendships between people who could potentially date as its own form of relationship#as much as a liminal space waiting room between being strangers and being romantic#anyways it's so fucking annoying how insistently people think that romance is only harmful because either#the person doesn't Really Love You or they ONLY want to fuck you (inherently a shallow thing to want as well!)#amatonormativity has such a grip people genuinely struggle to imagine that genuine feelings of romantic love#can be anything other than inherently good and beneficial#op you are NOT overreacting people just don't fucking understand what it's like being aroallo#and they don't give us nearly as much grace as we deserve when we get frustrated with this shit
keeping @genderkoolaid's tags because they are Important
you'll never believe. whose main blog that post was from. hi, it's me, tumblr user radioactive-yuri, formerly known as thermodynamic-comedian. this is my side blog. and a good few years ago, i made that very post on my main blog.
i have been fighting in these trenches. for YEARS.
You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.
Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?
Three cueing. Once you learn about it, a whole lot of very frustrating online discourse with US Americans makes so much sense š
For decades, schools have taught children the strategies of struggling readers, using a theory about reading that cognitive scientists have
If you were taught to read with the three cueing method, and now struggle to read fluently, you can still learn to read properly!
-> Phonics For Adults <-
If you're a teenager, you can still use this resource.
Credit: tinawithana on TikTok.
Basically this is the same message as the previous video I shared by this creator. But itās just an older TikTok. Like they have mentioned, it seems like this argument keeps cycling around every few months. Itās not hard to understand. If you donāt support and encourage writers, then theyāre going to give up and quit writing. Simple as that. The community side of fanfic and AO3 has died off. Writers are leaving. AI writing, puritans and the āfandom policeā are taking over. Please, just support those of us that are left.
āThere arenāt enough hours in a day.ā There are actually. The problem is that we think 40 hour work weeks are an unavoidable fact of life.
The problem is that everyone has to work 8 hours, pretty much no exceptions, and with getting ready time + (unpaid) lunch + commute, ā8 hoursā is actually anywhere between 9 and 12, every single day, with more work to do when you get home because our society and culture was built around having one member of the household home full time and nothing has changed now that almost everyone works.
No wonder Americans are reliant on DoorDash and fast food, thereās no time or energy to cook. No one wonder mental and physical health are in shambles, many just spent all day sitting in fluorescent lights with little to no stimulation. āJust wake up earlierā āJust meal prepā⦠these are ok short-term, individual solutions, but the broader, systemic issue is obvious. We arenāt built for this. Thereās no work-life balance. Genuinely, I think if our culture could normalize a shorter work week, many individualsā biggest problems would simply evaporate.

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OP: Why couldnāt traditional Chinese Yinpiaoé¶ē„Ø/silver drafts be forged if they were merely slips of paper? (cr大ęå®éļ¼ęøč¶)
Traditional Chinese yinpiao/silver drafts were paper vouchers issued by private banks starting from the Song Dynasty(960ā1279). People could exchange these slips for physical silver at bank branches across the country.
Silver drafts were made in multiple copies with matching serrated seal edges. One copy went to the customer and others stayed at the bank. All edges had to fit perfectly together to withdraw silver. The unique split edge marks were almost impossible to copy.
This mechanism is known as qifengéŖē¼ (split-joint seal) in China. It first originated in the Western Zhou Dynasty (1046ā771 BC). The Rites of Zhou records that contracts were written on bamboo or wooden slips in duplicate. Notches and marks were carved in the middle before splitting the slips, with each party keeping one half. The two halves would be matched by their notches for verification.
During the Spring and Autumn and Warring States periods (770ā221 BC), this idea evolved into hufuč符/tiger tally tokens. A military tally was split into two pieces with identical inscriptions carved along the split edge. Troops could only be deployed if the patterns and characters on both halves perfectly aligned, serving as a metal version of the split-joint anti-counterfeiting system.
The technology matured in the Tang Dynasty (618ā907). Government documents and private contracts commonly used split-joint seals stamped across the dividing line. The Chinese character "hetongåå" (contract) was written across the middle before the paper was torn apart, so the complete characters would only appear when the two halves were put together. This split-coupon system was later adopted for Song Dynasty (960ā1279) jiaozi paper money and yinpiao/silver drafts of the Ming and Qing dynasties (1368ā1912).
Official Song dynasty paper money (Jiaoziäŗ¤å) was abolished in 1107. Private silver drafts issued by Qing-era piaohaoē„Øč” (ancient exchange banks) vanished completely in 1951, hit hard by modern banks and currency reforms. Nowadays silver drafts no longer circulate as currency. Their collectible value depends on their rarity and physical condition.
Split-joint seals (éŖē¼ē« qifengzhang)are still widely used on important paper documents in modern China, an anti-tampering technique passed down from ancient times. They are applied across the edge of multi-page contracts, bidding documents and official archives. If any page is removed or replaced, the broken seal pattern can prove the file has been altered.
*jumps up and down waving my hands and yelling in a crowd* DISCORD WAS NEVER MEANT TO REPLACE FORUMS AND WIKIS!!! IT'S JUST EMBELLISHED CHATROOMS WITH MULTIPLAYER GAMING FEATURES AND LOOTBOXES AND SHIT!!! PLEASE PUT FAQS AND MESSAGE BOARDS OR AT LEAST A DIRECT EMAIL-BASED SUPPORT SYSTEM ON YOUR WEBSITE!!! 1GB NEOCITIES DOMAIN ZERO DOLLARS
partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that
Thereās an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it āthe stair emotionā and itās when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. Itās the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I donāt need that notebook. Maybe I donāt need anything.
You know, when I see fictional characters who repress all their emotions, they're usually aloof and very blunt about keeping people at a distance, sometimes to an edgy degreeābut what I don't see nearly enough are the emotionally repressed characters who are justā¦mellow.
Think about it. In real life, the person that's bottling up all their emotions is not the one that's brooding in the corner and snaps at you for trying to befriend them. More often than not, it's that friendly person in your circle who makes easy conversation with you, laughs with you, and listens and gives advice whenever you're upset. But you never see them upset, in fact they seem to have endless patience for you and everything around themāand so you call them their friend, you trust them. And only after months of telling them all your secrets do you realizeā¦
ā¦they've never actually told you anything about themselves.
Adding onto this: characters who are so deeply repressed that they don't even realize they're not fine, or at the very least not supposed to be fine. Characters who do tell you about a situation they're in that should be bad, but instantly laugh it off saying they can handle it (spoiler: they can, in fact, not handle it). Characters who laugh with you and listen to all your woes and much later you learn that they were actually going through something at least equally bad at the time, but they wave it off and don't want to speak of it. Characters whose main coping mechanism seems to be "don't think about it" on endless loop.
Basically, the fictional embodiment of the "this is fine" dog.

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I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.
Some last minute birthday pictures. Iām soo not used to being in front of a legitimate camera lol, Iāve gotten used to phone cameras.
I hope the nervous awkwardness isnāt apparent in my faceš¬
When the post goes triple platinum in the mutual circle and you have to scroll past the same thing seven times in a row
I think strange horrible things should stop befalling my friends
I think strange wonderful things should start befalling my friends
rb to give prev strange wonderful things
Hi everyone! This is an illustrated guide I made as part of my co-admining work at The Middle Eastern Feminist on Facebook! It will be published there shortly.Ā The technique that is displayed here is a genuine one used in psychology - I forgot the name and couldnāt find it again so if you know about it, feel free to tell me! Some could say: āYes but you can use that technique for instances of harassment other than Islamophobic attacks!ā, and my reply is: Sure! Please do so, it also works for other ātypesā of harassment of a lone person in a public space!! However Iām focusing on protecting Muslims here, as they have been very specific targets lately, and as a French Middle Eastern woman, I wanted to try and do something to raise awareness on how to help when such things happen before our eyes - that way one cannot say they ādidnāt know what to doā!Ā Iād like to insist on two things: 1) Do not, in any way, interact with the attacker. You must absolutely ignore them and focus entirely on the person being attacked! 2) Please make sure to always respect the wishes of the person youāre helping: whether they want you to leave quickly afterwards, or not! If youāre in a hurry escort them to a place where someone else can take over - call one of their friends, or one of yours, of if they want to, the police. It all depends on how they feel! For my fellow French-speakers: I will translate it in French and post it on my page as soon as I can :) Please donāt hesitate to share this guide as it could push a lot of people to overcome bystander syndrome!! Lots of love and stay safe! PS: I you repost this cartoon of mine on twitter or instagram, please add me in the post so I can see it, with @itsmaeril :)
An important reminder today, and every day.
This is based off of the Non-Complementary technique in psychology - also known as āflipping the scriptā.
It is a legitimate tactic for defusing a situation that could otherwise escalate to become quite nasty.
People instinctively reciprocate anger with anger and kindness with kindness,Ā but what happens when someone breaks this ācomplementary be

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If you're a new writer and you're asking yourself "is this too personal, is this too much, will people think this is weird" that feeling is the exact location of your actual voice. The stuff that makes you want to close the laptop is the stuff nobody else could write. The safe version is always worse. Always. I have never once read something and thought "this would have been better if it was a little less honest." go further. It's always go further.
Me filtering out kinks I donāt like on AO3.Ā