a simple idiot lesbian

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

gonna be real i thought this was just about normal microwaves

I've been in an evil mood for hours and I just discovered there was a piece of glitter stuck in my contact lens so I'm going to assume it was that the whole time and now the curse has been lifted.

yeah it was the eye glitter. I'm fine now.

What in the fuck did you possibly do to get hit with the modern day “shard of magical ice in eye that freezes your soul and makes you unable to recognize joy” curse? Like come back here that is literally how the fairytale goes, WHAT happened to you

Cast in a rock opera about vampires that is set in the 80s. There's a lot of glitter.

Could use help still today is Monday I have a job interview on wed

I’m really struggling still my will to live is at an all time low I have no support nothing going on and no motivation I appreciate all the help so far it’s July 16th words of encouragement are also welcome

The dude in bright orange with the orange umbrella that looks like a peacocks tail.... FAVE

Something by I love about Black Menswear is how they’re not afraid of color and personality. It’s not just the same boring black or blue suit jacket every time. It’s also just very dapper.

YESSS i especially love the florals...

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

hey don't cry. think about Blorbo struggling to get up, coughing up blood <3

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207