damned if you’re employed damned if you’re not

god i love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home

i lied. i dont like sex. put ur clothes back on babe. i’m going to play red dead redemption 2 for hours and explain the entire lore to you while you watch.

I don’t feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body I just keep getting jumpscared by the fact that I have boobs and it stresses me out

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

vampire: My darling, my eternal flame, my heart's joy taken human form... you simply must drink water your blood tastes like shit.

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.

til death or some guy do us part

mutuals I am extending a bag of chips towards you and giving it a shake to imply I want you to have some.

today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery