acquiring candy is my life goal.

*unscrewing the lid of a giant industrial sized barrel of lube* I mean here's hoping

there's something so deeply dystopian to me how tech companies don't understand that a forced convenience is not a convenience at all. i'm sure autocorrect is helpful for many, but a function that forcibly changes my actual written words and punctuation is taking away my language. photo filters can be nice but i need to choose using them myself or else i have lost the ability to take the picture i want. i don't want a machine to draw or write for me. taking away the option for me to do things manually feels like violence!!!! all this talk of endless opportunity, why are you RESTRICTING me

disgustedly throws youtube autodubbing onto the pyre pile

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

Nothing feels as good as being fed.

I loooove when there’s a mysterious mist settling over a location

*guy who has never heard of Hamilton* I don’t know why you guys are all shipping random founding fathers with each other and not Lewis and Clark who were definitely fucking in a tent every chance they got on that trip Brokeback Mountain style

*guy who just found out about Hamilton* haha no I totally knew you were talking about the musical, I was just joking. no, I don’t think about Lewis and Clark’s relationship as doomed yaoi. that’d be weird.

not to be like that but misgendering is still misgendering even if you think you know someone’s gender better than they do. because that’s the basis of literally all misgendering you don’t get a special pass because you’re Transing Them

We need a flick where King Arthur wakes in modern Jamaica and is very confused.

I think that would be so much funny. He wakes up on a remote beach in Jamaica and he only speaks/understands Brythonic and Medieval Latin. Locals assume he was a tourist who fell from a cruise ship or received a head injury and floated away from a resort. The authorities cannot match his description to any missing persons reports and his fingerprints and DNA produce no hits on INTERPOL. They suspect he may be Welsh or French because the language he speaks resembles Welsh or Breton but France and the UK both state he is not a citizen of their country. Stateless and deeply confused, he is taken in by the community near the beach where he was found, being cared for by a number of local families and doing odd jobs. He slowly learns English and adjusts to the contemporary world, uncertain if his belief that he is the legendary King Arthur was formed by whatever traumatic event caused him to end up Jamaica or if he is actually King Arthur and Prydain is in eminent peril. Mysterious letters from Morgan begin to reaffirm his belief he is King Arthur. He must choose between staying in Jamaica and continuing the happy life he has made for himself or finding a way to get back to Britain without any documentation.

ancient king white boy stuns locals by ordering in perfect Jamaican Patois

He gets to Britain and everyone expects him to sound like a posh noble Englishman because that is the picture Malory painted but he prefers to speak Welsh and when he has to speak English, he speaks with a thick Jamaican accent.

5001 being divisible by 3 doesnt feel right

honestly really funny how many times john green has said 'i'm never signing every copy of the first printing of one of my books again' and then several years later he releases another book and what does he do? sign every copy of the first printing.

its crazy how the ATLA setting clearly had so much room for expansion and elaboration but almost every single piece of spinoff media that has ever been produced just sucks

just stop trying. you're not gonna get it right if you keep trying. just stop. lets all collectively move on from avatar the last airbender. it has served it's purpose. we can go do something else now

and to be explicitly clear about where i stand on the matter. the spinoff media that doesn't suck are f.c yee's books about kiyoshi and yangchen. everything else can go.

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

🫩 no i don't think those characters are siblings i think they're friends. I don't think that's their mom I actually think she's their friend. I don't think they're related actually I think they're friends with each other.

The liberals are in the world's most disastrous polycule, there is a sinister triangle happening between the successful Daoist the failed leftist and the single issue voter, and crazy asshole and debilitating social disability are after many trials happily married with their second child on the way

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli are at a funfair. Jin Zixuan tries to win a plushie for Yanli at one of the games and ends up not winning anything, spending too much money and generally looking like a fool. Just as him continuing to try and win something becomes a bit too embarrassing, Jiang Yanli sweetly asks if she can try once and ends up winning the biggest plush possible. She always had to win plushies for her little brothers and is therefore excellent at most funfair games. Jin Zixuan is rich and (*raised as) an only child and his father had no patience for funfairs so Jin Guangshan always said he’d just buy Jin Zixuan the plush he wanted after one failed attempt to win something. Jiang Yanli gives her huge pink bear to him so he has to carry it around the rest of the day and everyone can see his girlfriend won him something instead of the other way around. He’s surprisingly okay with this. Do I understand their relationship