castiel loves bees and i love him

The Quarry-

I’m bitter as fuck over Castiel’s story arcs the past 5 seasons. I have ZERO faith Castiel’s ending arc will be satisfying, and I don’t trust TPTB for shit!

But I’m also a die hard Castiel fan and have emotions too.

Yo I’ve been crying all day long. The content from this weekend has rocked me harder than I anticipated. Like I realized that obviously the show was ending, but idk if it was the lack of conventions or what, but I feel like it’s finally hit that I’m going to have to say goodbye to Castiel. That the next time we see Misha at a convention will mean Castiel is officially gone. And there’s nothing I can do about it. 

I’m a fucking mess.

And I’ve just been so mad about his stories and so many other things over the years. And I think a part of me always believed that there was always this chance that things could change. That the writers would give us Cas fans good content and treat him like a character that’s been on the show for 12 years. That one day I could tune in and see my Angel living his best life and be loved and supported the way I’ve always dreamed he could be. But this is the end. This is it. There’s no more wishing. There’s no more hoping. There’s no more story. 

🚨 Emotional Breakdown Below 🚨

fandom: uwu this was so touching and meaningful and beautiful

me:

(This whole thing is based on the fact that Sam and Cas are in love with for each other in my head. Know it before you read it.)

At first I was joking about this… but. I thought about it since I noticed that and the idea doesn’t want to get out of my head. I really start to believe it. I don’t know if it’s because I am desperate or because it makes perfect sense. Or because I’m still very angry about that episode that I have to find something positive in all of this.

13.21                                                                   15.03       

Sam always was very simple. In the bunker. He doesn’t have much decoration in his room. He keeps it useful and simple. He slept with one pillow for 6 years. Why would he needs another one now?

Well. Let me tell you why he has two pillows now when no other bedroom in the bunker has two of them. This is for Castiel.

“Yeah, of course you can, Cas, but right now is the time for you to focus on getting better. This is just a milk run. We got it. So … Try and relax. Read a book, watch some Netflix. Go to my room, turn on the TV. You’ll figure it out.” Sam (11.04)

First of all. Sam’s room is a place where Cas feels safe. A place he was invited in. Somewhere Sam is trusting him to be when he’s not here. When Cas was recovering, he was in Sam’s room for days. He was comfortable enough in there to have his jacket and his trench coat off. He was sitting on a chair first, watching tv. He after had a violent panic attack and he went straight back to Sam’s bed, and he laid down on it. He was resting on Sam’s pillow.

Then. We had the famous “I look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night. They’re very soothing.”

This is a very specific sentence. It implies that Castiel knows exactly when Sam is falling asleep. Spoiler alert: it’s because he is right there next to him.

If I had to give it a guess… this started really not long ago. When Dean was missing and possessed by Michael, Castiel noticed that Sam was restless. Sam said he was going to bed, but in reality he was in his room, working and not taking care of himself (something Cas is very sensitive about). So he stayed next to him. At first it was just for work. And then Sam started to fall sleep because of exhaustion and Cas just stayed… making sure Sam was resting.

Sam noticed that Castiel was staying with him some nights, and more often, and ended offering him another pillow to make him more comfortable. 🖤

I usually like first then plan to reblog with a comment, but I can’t believe in the meantime this post got even better!

I’m usually careful with metas and speculations - sometimes we only see what we want to see - but you know what? I’m glad you noticed this and even though people are gonna say that it’s either just set variation, or that the pillow was probably for someone else or whatever, I want to think the same.

That Cas was so often in that room and on that bed, that Sam ended up bringing an extra pillow in so that he would be comfortable. Because they care about each other, dammit.

He’s clearly taking up the whole bed thoughtlessly.

And then this one, which, like you said, shows that he’s on one side of the bed.

Let’s look at the transcript of this moment:

—

DEAN We should call Cas.

SAM You’re kidding, right? [ Scoffs ] Dean, I tried. It was the first and second and third thing I did, soon as I got topside. Son of a bitch won’t answer the phone.

DEAN [Sitting on a bed. ] Well, let’s give it a shot. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.

SAM You’re an idiot.

DEAN Stay positive.

SAM Oh, I am positive.

DEAN Come on, Cas! Don’t be a dick. We got ourselves a… plague-like situation down here, and… do you…do you copy?

SAM Like I said… [ clears throat ] son of a bitch doesn’t answer – he’s right behind me, isn’t he?

CASTIEL Hello.

SAM Hello?

CASTIEL Y-yes.

SAM [ Imitating Castiel ] “Hello.”

[ Normal voice ] “Hello”?

CASTIEL Uh, that is still the term?

SAM I spent all that time trying to get through to you. Dean calls once, and now it’s [ imitating Castiel ] “Hello”?!

CASTIEL Yes.

SAM [ Normal voice ] So, what, you – you like him better or something? [ Scoffs ]

CASTIEL Dean and I do share a more profound bond. [ To Dean ] I wasn’t gonna mention it.

DEAN Cas, I think what he’s trying to say is that… he went to Hell for us. I mean, he really took one for the team. You remember that? And then he comes back without a clue, and you can’t take five friggin’ minutes to give him some answers?

CASTIEL [ Strongly. ] If I had any answers, I might have responded. But I don’t know, Sam. We have no idea who brought you back from the cage… or why.

—

Let’s not lose the context here that Castiel said this in episode 3 to obscure the greater plot of season 6, which was all of what he was doing behind the scenes/away from the Winchesters in order to access Purgatory and stop Raphael. The “I wasn’t gonna mention it.” adds a slight levity to the conversation from a writing perspective, in what’s an otherwise tense scene. 

SAM

So… it wasn’t God?

CASTIEL

No one’s even seen God. The whole thing remains mysterious.

SAM

What the hell does that mean?

CASTIEL

What part of “I don’t know” escapes your understanding?

DEAN

Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer. Okay? You wing your ass down here, and you tell him, “I don’t know.” Just because we have some sort of a – a bond or whatever…

CASTIEL

You think I came because you called? I came because of this. [ Walks to table where Dean’s research is spread out. ]

DEAN

Oh, well, it’s nice to know what matters.

CASTIEL

It does help one to focus.

The disgust in Castiel’s voice at the idea that he came solely because Dean called speaks volumes. Dean’s pity poor me response and Castiel’s affirmation of how little Dean matters is far more significant than some throwaway, evasive line.

And he didn’t only say the profound bond thing to obscure his greater purpose, he said it because he didn’t want to reveal that the reason he didn’t show himself to Sam was because he(for whatever reason that’s never been fully explained) didn’t want Sam to know that he was the one who brought him back. So he latched on to Sam’s assumption.

recently i saw a family manip of j2a and since then i’ve been wondering how come that manips of cockles and j2 are almost everywhere but there are almost none of mishalecki 

so i decided to create an au manip: sam and cas are married couple and they have a cinnamon roll jack as their son