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Rest in peace to the incredible Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 - 1st June 2026)
RUPERT GILES in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003)
Duplicity
head in hands ur lucky your teammates have nothing to rub their braincell against
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I was half asleep daydreaming and I came up with the most cracky idea
Shane has been in face offs against Ilya for years, even if they didn't have their thing of the ice, he knows his face by memory. Which is why he notices when a mole in the underside of his jaw gets bigger.
It's the 2015-2016 season, middle of the hookup era, and he is trying to get this motherfucker to see a dermatologist, but nothing he says works. Ilya either distracts him or dismisses him with some stupid denial like russians don't get melanoma.
But the mole keeps changing and now its not even the same consistent color and Shane has googled the signs so he says fuck it, I'm gonna make him.
Shane uses his barely active public account to tweet a list of Boston based dermatologist and tags Ilya in each one.
This of course goes crazy with the fans because what the hell? Shane Hollander? Tweeting at Ilya Rozanov? Doctors? This is a very advanced very strange chirp? Is he calling his moles ugly?
The next time the Boston Raiders have a game the media scrum doesn't even try to pretend they came for another thing, they want to know about the Dermatologist Thread.
Ilya, at this point frustrated because his moles are fine, they're perfect, why is this a problem, so he answers.
"Hollander should mind his own businesses, he wants me to visit stupid skin doctor because he sees mole. I have lots of moles, always had, there's no problem here, it's normal mole!"
And Shane is getting out of his own game a few hours later, prepares himself to answer about the fumble in the second period when the media comes, and it's surprised when, instead, he gets shown a clip of Ilya's earlier interview. Now, this fucking reckless motherfucker, Shane explodes.
"You fucking asshole! You want to die by driving a Porsche into a wall be my guest! But you're gonna die of the most stupid thing in existence! A MOLE! A mole you decided not to check even if it changed size and color and it's in your fucking face where we can all see it every fucking face off with arena lights shining right into it! Why? Because you're stupid and you don't want to go to the doctor and you don't respect the sun. You're gonna die from a perfectly preventable thing and then what am I gonna do? I'm gonna be the best hockey player in mi generation with 10 cups and Harts and Conn Smythes and no competition because you're gonna be in the history books as that one promising dude who died from a mole. A mole! Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen."
That one goes viral. That one breaches containment and goes internacional meme viral.
Shane Hollander Skin Cancer Awareness King.
There's "Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen" T-Shirts.
Shane Hollander angry sneering face with the text "RESPECT THE SUN" under it.
Ilya Rozanov gets bullied relentlessly about it, everyone asking if he has gone to the doctor yet. He doesn't answer. Eventually, he appears with a new scar in his jaw where a wonky mole used to be.
A new meme begins, Shane Hollander has saved Ilya Rozanov's life. From a malignant mole.
this is the guy who rocks shane hollander’s world by the way
At 17, Ilya is a loser. He thinks he’s cool because he broods and smokes next to the no smoking sign. But he’s still a teenager who chews his hoodie strings.
Also, interesting that right from the beginning, at 17, we see them watching each other practice at the junior tournament in Saskatchewan. But Shane watches with his mom, because he still has one. And of course she took time off work to come to the tournament and support her only child. Where else would she be?
And Ilya notices Shane and his mother sitting and watching him. The Russian juniors coach (Sasha’s dad, I presume) has to yell at Ilya to get him to pay attention to the practice instead of that Canadian boy and his mother.
Whereas Ilya sits alone to watch the Canadian kids practice. His mom died when he was 12, and his dad and older brother don’t care beyond the money. They don’t even show up for the Stanley Cup finals in 2014, why would they fly all the way to Canada for a junior tournament?
I also think it’s interesting that neither of them is accompanied by any of their fellow players. Shane isn’t known for being very sociable with his teammates (although that’s definitely an Asian stereotype by the event announcers).
Shane either didn’t want company that might distract him, or his teammates were busy getting drunk and luring local girls up to their hotel rooms to gang rape them. Knowing that Hockey Canada will make the victims sign NDAs. God forbid a little bit of rape ruin the careers of promising young athletes (see Wikipedia link below).
Yuna is serious about hockey and won’t distract Shane from watching the practice of the team Canada will probably meet in the final. The announcers predict the gold medal game will be a Canada Russia matchup, and they’re correct. Yuna probably has useful comments for Shane as well.
As for Ilya, he seems to be one of those life of the party types whom nobody realizes only has one close friend (and she can’t be there). Because Ilya can socialize, and often does, his teammates fail to realize he never tells them anything about his life. Except outrageous lies which everybody thinks are just Ilya being an asshole. But at least he’s a funny asshole. They look no further, which suits him fine.
Anyway, either Ilya didn’t want company and was rude to his teammates, or he snuck away when they were distracted. But despite his loudmouth party boy reputation, he’s just as intent as Shane on scouting the competition himself. Instead of relying on game tape from his coaches.
It’s just that since Shane is Asian, journalists casting him as a studious Hockey Robot works well. That’s what (mostly white) fans expect. Everybody “knows” Asian kids are nerds, this one is just nerdy about hockey. Race may have also contributed to Shane’s autism going undiagnosed. His childhood teachers and doctors probably assumed he was quiet and awkward because he’s Asian, rather than because he’s neurodivergent.
Ilya isn’t cast that way by game announcers and other sports media. Even though he also spends a chunk of his free time watching the competition practice. Despite being nine time zones away from home instead of two. And thus a lot more jet lagged and in need of rest before the competition than Shane.
But then, one anonymous white boy in a hoodie is less noticeable in the empty stands than a middle aged Asian woman and her mixed race son (especially in Saskatchewan). Ilya’s probably just some starstruck local kid who snuck in. As long as he doesn’t say anything, nobody will hear his accent.
I suspect Shane is the only Canadian kid (or coach) on the ice paying enough attention to realize Ilya is there. He did already seek Ilya out to introduce himself (being sociable, for once). Shane absolutely knew exactly what Ilya looked like before the tournament.
I doubt Shane consciously realized he had a crush. But eventually Ilya will realize how damn unusual it is for Shane to make an effort to introduce himself to a stranger. And then persevere in making awkward small talk with said stranger. Shane just assumes he’s peer struck by Ilya’s hockey skills instead of crushing on a hot boy.
Ilya is probably the only kid his own age Shane has ever met who’s as good as he is at hockey. They’re the two most talked about prospects in the world, the announcers say, and they even play the same position. Another reason for both Shane and Ilya to be held apart from their junior hockey teammates (in different ways).
Both these boys are absolutely going pro and getting drafted high. At 17 or 18, most of their teammates are probably hoping to be drafted. But their early promise might still flame out. For Ilya and Shane, the only way they’re not getting drafted in six month’s time is if they pick up a career ending injury very soon.
It would breed resentment. Having a kid your own age who’s head and shoulders above their teammates. Who can only be matched by adults who already play in the NHL/MLH. I suspect they both get some hostility from teammates. For Shane it’s probably “jokes” about his social awkwardness and whether his mom makes him sushi.
For Ilya, it’s probably “jokes” about him rage baiting the opposition until they punch him. And his fearsome elderly father who screams at him whenever he loses a game. He’s probably grateful Grigori didn’t make the trip, actually. I suspect Ilya’s teammates aren’t old enough to realize they should be afraid of Grigori, but their parents probably are.
He’s high-ranking police with connections. And “police”, in a post-Soviet context, apparently means something more amorphous and perhaps sinister than just a local cop. Grigori is a colonel. Whether that’s in the Moscow police department or the FSB isn’t clear. He says the Minister of the Interior is his boss, which might suggest FSB.
But the parents of teenagers would likely be very polite to Colonel Rozanov, while giving him a wide berth. And not just because when his kid loses, he gets angry. Because Grigori has political power, and he likely didn’t rise that high by writing traffic tickets.
*
Hockey Canada sexual assault scandal - Wikipedia
Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living
So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u
Buffy the Vampire Slayer | Intervention | 5.18

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FLORENCE PUGH Photographed by Venetia Scott for British Vogue's October 2024 Issue
It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.
Please take your vitamin D
HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.
@paperairplanesopenwindows! Us next month!
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Simple Illusions in Celestial Batiks
tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way