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You are in love, true love
(22. Watch, 1,375 words, NC-17) @hollanovmicrofic
Ilya presses himself against the back of Shane’s body, lining them up perfectly as they wait to grab the bartender’s attention. It’s last call, both of them are a little buzzed and Ilya’s past the point of keeping his hands to himself. Not that he was doing much on that front earlier, either, but he knows that Shane prefers a little less PDA in public. Which is usually just fine with him—how they act around eachother is something that is wholeheartedly theirs. They’re so used to being in the public eye that it’s thrilling to keep to themselves. There’s handholding and cheek kisses and brushes of hands along a back or neck or shoulder, but nothing like this.
Inhibitions are lowered, they’re both tipsy and sleepy and Ilya is reminded, once again, how fucking beautiful his husband is.

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trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing
“It’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing” I’m in love
season 2 should start with a cold open of troy barret being at his lowest, absolutely most awful behaviour. give me a five minute compilation of him cheering at dallas kent throwing slurs, of troy insulting fellow players maliciously, of them tormenting ryan price in the plane. and gimme glimpses of troy feeling conflicted, him avoiding his own eyes in the mirror, looking uncomfortable when dallas uses the f-slur but keeping his mouth shut. yes, I want to see him confronting dallas and calling him out later. but must importantly give me the absolute worst of troy, give me the ugly side because it is fucking important not only for his story but also for shane's and ilya's and we should see it right in the beginning.
we leave s1 in a kind of bittersweet but overall happy bubble. scott hunter is out and gets mostly positive resonance; shane and ilya are in love, even tho there a lot of obstacles in their ways but its all soft and glowy right. it could be so easy, the mhl suddenly becoming that happy queer friendly place, every player is supportive of their teammates, everyone gets their happy ending - so aside from their rivalry narrative, why are shane and Ilya even so worried of coming out? it kind of looks like fairytale doesn't it.
because it is definitely not. hockey is still a wildly homophobic sport, with decades of toxic masculinity, and troy's story shows us exactly that. s2 should definitely show us why it is still such a struggle for athletes, especially shane and ilya, to come out when there are teams that are still so openly and maliciously cultivate homophobia. yes, scott's coming out changed a lot for the better but it's far from good. we see that in the book that even many of his teammates don't come to celebrate with him. we see this later in the metro's abominable reaction to shane. dhowing how bad it still is in the toronto team right in the beginning creates the necessary contrast to the (lovely!) softness of the ending of s1 and shows the reality of the world shane and ilya live in (which is of course still better than our reality due to romance novel rules but yk) and it sets the tone for some relevant struggles ilya and shane face during The Long Game.
also, i really do like troy and I love his redemption arc but without seeing how bad he once was, his story wouldn't hit that hard, ngl. I really hope the long game gets two seasons and at least over the course of the first half, we see troy's and harris story. While Game Changer got it's own episode basically, I think it would work best if Role Model would get weaven into the plot of the second season / first half of tlg. of course shane and Ilya are the main story but I think it would work best showing bit and chunks of troy's character development here and there, how he build his relationship with harris and also his friendship with ilya.
so yeah in short, pls jacob give me 5 min straight of asshole Troy frist and then cut to Shane and Ilya and the rest of the gay mhl avengers working at the irina foundation.
and if it feels good, then it can't be bad
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You know the first time I watched ep. 6, when Ilya tells Shane he's brave, I got the impression Ilya was saying that to comfort Shane more than anything. I didn't think Ilya was lying, but I thought he was saying it because that's what you say in that situation, to give someone the courage to face what scares them. I think I was thinking at the time that Ilya didn't really have any reason to see Shane as brave (or not brave, for that matter) but I've been thinking about it more and you know what, actually, I think Ilya probably does think Shane is brave. Like, I think he has consciously thought Shane is brave before the cottage. Because in ep. 5, Shane does what Ilya couldn't do. In the Tampa hotel scene, Shane says out loud that last time was different. When Ilya denies it, Shane calls him out and says he knows Ilya felt it too. Then Shane tells Ilya he likes him and doesn't take it back or try to turn it into a joke. He even repeats it when Ilya protests it. Then Shane even brings up being together and asks Ilya if he'd want to be together if they could be. This is all already scary to do under normal circumstances - but under Shane's circumstances? After years of both of them hiding how they really feel, of not being able to communicate openly? After Ilya has hurt Shane on more than one occasion without Shane even having any context for why Ilya acted the way he did, or even getting an apology? It is insanely brave, and it is exactly what Ilya was trying to do, and couldn't bring himself to do, in the tuna melt scene. And so by the cottage, I think Ilya actually does admire Shane for his bravery, and he also really does believe Shane is brave enough to face his parents after getting caught. He's not at all just saying that to Shane just to make him feel better. He means it. He believes it. He's seen it. Shane is brave.
Why is my shoulder KILLING me? I mean, it can't just be stress and tension, can it? Then remembers that carpal tunnel syndrome is a thing and can effect your whole limb.
Huh, that would explain the wrist pain too.
I put the wrist brace on and within an hour my shoulder felt fine. Now, 8 hours later, my wrist feels fine too,
Why, body, why?
RIP Anthony Stewart Head (1954 - 2026)
Anthony Head, the suave, smooth-voiced British actor known for roles in TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ted Lasso, has died, his family sa
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Seldom-used proverb #23: to a hedgehog with a net, everything looks like a butterfly.