Cassidy White

✧ Relapse doesn't mean failure. Recovery isn't linear. Your character can be doing great and then have a bad day/week/month. It's part of the process, not the end of it.

✧ Cravings don't just disappear. Years into recovery and something can still trigger that want. It gets easier but it doesn't fully go away for everyone.

✧ The substance isn't the whole problem. Your character's probably self-medicating something, trauma, mental illness, unbearable circumstances. Taking away the substance doesn't fix what's underneath.

✧ Withdrawal is hell. Not just "feeling bad", it's physical torture. Shaking, sweating, nausea, pain, sometimes actual danger depending on the substance. Your character isn't just sad, they're ILL.

✧ Sobriety is boring at first. All your coping mechanisms, social circles, and ways to have fun involved the substance. Now what? Your character has to rebuild everything.

✧ People treat you differently. Some are supportive. Some are judgmental. Some ask invasive questions. Some don't trust you anymore. The stigma is real and it sucks.

✧ Triggers are everywhere. Certain places, people, smells, times of day, emotions. Your character's constantly navigating a minefield of things that make them want to use.

✧ You lost time. Months or years where you weren't really present. Relationships damaged. Opportunities missed. There's grief for the person you could have been.

✧ Recovery is active work. Meetings, therapy, building new habits, sitting with uncomfortable feelings. It's not passive. Your character's putting in effort every single day.

Showing vs Telling

Do you have any narrative summary, or are you bouncing from scene to scene without pausing for breath?

Characterization & Exposition

What information do your readers need in order to understand your story? At what point in the story do they need to know it?

How are you getting this info across to your readers? Is it all at once through a writer-to-reader lecture?

If exposition comes out through dialogue, is it through dialogue your characters would actually speak even if your readers didn’t have to know the information? In other words, does the dialogue exist only to put the information across?

Point of View

Look at your descriptions. Can you tell how your viewpoint character feels about what you’re describing?

Proportion

Look at descriptions. Are the details you give the ones your viewpoint character would notice?

Reread your first fifty pages, paying attention to what you spend your time on. Are the characters you develop most fully important to the ending? Do you use the locations you develop in detail later in the story? Do any of the characters play a surprising role in the ending? Could readers guess this from the amount of time you spend on them?

Dialogue

Can you get rid of some of your speaker attributions entirely? Try replacing some with beats. 

How often have you paragrapher your dialogue?Try paragraphing a little more often. 

See How it Sounds

Read your dialogue aloud. At some point, read aloud every word you write.

Be on the lookout for places where you are tempted to change the wording. 

How well do your characters understand each other? Do they ever mislead on another? Any outright lies? 

Interior Monologue

First, how much interior monologue do you have? If you seem to have a lot, check to see whether some is actually dialogue description in disguise. Are you using interior monologue to show things that should be told?

Do you have thinker attributions you should get rid of (by  recasting into 3rd person, by setting the interior monologue off in its own paragraph or in italics, or by simply dropping the attribution)

Do your mechanics match your narrative distance?(Thinker attributions, italics, first person when your narrative is in third?)

Easy Beats

How many beats do you have? How often do you interrupt your dialogue?

What are your beats describing? Familiar every day actions, such as dialling a telephone or buying groceries? How often do you repeat a beat? Are your characters always looking out of windows or lighting cigarettes? 

Do your beats help illuminate your characters? Are they individual or general actions anyone might do under just about any circumstances?

Do your beats fit the rhythm of your dialogue? Read it aloud and find out

Breaking up is easy to do

Look for white space. How much is there? Do you have paragraphs that go on as much as a page in length? 

Do you have scenes with NO longer paragraphs? Remember what you’re after is the right balance. 

Have your characters made little speeches to one another? 

If you’re writing a novel, are all your scenes or chapters exactly the same length? -> brief scenes or chapters can give you more control over your story. They can add to your story’s tension. Longer chapters can give it a more leisurely feels. If scene or chapter length remains steady while the tension of the story varies considerably, your are passing up the chance to reinforce the tension. 

Once is usually enough

Reread your manuscript, keeping in mind what you are trying to do with each paragraph–what character point you’re trying to establish, what sort of mood you’re trying to create, what background you’re trying to suggest. In how many different ways are you accomplishing each of these ends?

If more than one way, try reading the passage without the weakest approach and see if it itsn’t more effective. 

How about on a chapter level? Do you have more than one chapter that accomplishes the same thing?

Is there a plot device or stylistic effect you are particularly pleased with? How often do you use it?

Keep on the lookout for unintentional word repeats. The more striking a word or phrase is, the more jarring it will be if repeated 

Sophistication 

How many -ing and as phrases do you write? The only ones that count are the ones that place a bit of action in a subordinate clause

How about -ly adverbs?

I’m a beta reader focused on structure — the load-bearing walls of your story:

plot logic

pacing

conflict escalation

character motivation

endings that don’t feel rushed or hollow

I don’t just read your draft. I stress-test it.

Their socials should have a decent post history with variety and original content. If all they do is post stuff made by other people, how am I to judge their own creative and professional merit?

If they operate through a third-party site like Fiverr or Upwork, that account should also have a decent history with reviews. I *hate* Fiverr, and its punitive review system, but the existence of a variety of reviews from a variety of people is better than nothing

They should be asking you the following if you haven't already shared: Genre(s), target demo, rating, what you're looking for from a beta read, what draft you're on, what style of feedback you want (casual reader or no-nonsense editor), timeline, periodic reports if this is a long project (so you know they're actually working on it), and, of course, price, if this is a beta who charges for their services.

For paid betas, some other reminders (from a former paid beta on Fiverr):

The pricing system is fucked. It's a saturated market, so you'll have really genuinely good people charging dirt cheap just for exposure, and you'll have full-on scams feeding your work to AI and lying to your face about it charging top dollar. Many authors who use sites like Fiverr aren't savvy enough to sort good feedback from bad, and will artificially inflate the skills of a scammer.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TIP. Hot take, but you should charge the price you're comfortable receiving, not bank on a tip your customer isn't obligated to give. If you can't make it on $50 for the work you've done, and you're really hoping for that extra $15-20, then charge that shit up front. If your work is worth $65-70, you'll find authors willing to pay it. If it's not, that's a you problem.

Beta readers, like any service, are obligated to provide to you the service you have ordered. Demanding payment for incomplete/underwhelming/lazy work might not be a legit scam, but it is a scam nonetheless. Beta reading is a soft skill, but the better you outline your expectations explicitly, and provide examples of the quality and detail of work you're looking for, the more ammunition you have against disappointing or bait-and-switch deliveries.

If you're paying a freelancer without the backing of a freelancer site, godspeed. Paypal's dispute system is slow, tedious, and more frustrating than it is helpful. Fiverr and Upwork exist for two reasons: Ease of finding work, and accountability.

Lastly: Please never buy promotional social media shit (Including Kirkus). Don't buy the "I'll review your stuff on tiktok/instagram/bsky". Just don't. It does not work. I speak from experience. Especially if it's a scam, the only people who will see that ad is other scammers. These people will not actually read your work, they'll make a generic review based on the summary and maybe the first couple pages.

I review books on here for free. Even if I don't like them. Why? Because I value the work of my fellow writers, and while I might not be the target demo, someone who follows me could be.

Too many writers are using generative 'AI' to make their book covers, so I've written a guide on how to make your own cover for free or cheap without turning to a machine.

If you can't afford to pay an artist, you CAN make your own!

New Part: 10 Lethal Injury Ideas

If you need a simple way to make your characters feel pain, here are some ideas: 

1. Sprained Ankle

A common injury that can severely limit mobility. This is useful because your characters will have to experience a mild struggle and adapt their plans to their new lack of mobiliy. Perfect to add tension to a chase scene.

2. Rib Contusion

A painful bruise on the ribs can make breathing difficult, helping you sneak in those ragged wheezes during a fight scene. Could also be used for something sport-related! It's impactful enough to leave a lingering pain but not enough to hinder their overall movement.

3. Concussions

This common brain injury can lead to confusion, dizziness, and mood swings, affecting a character’s judgment heavily. It can also cause mild amnesia.

I enjoy using concussions when you need another character to subtly take over the fight/scene, it's an easy way to switch POVs. You could also use it if you need a 'cute' recovery moment with A and B.

4. Fractured Finger

A broken finger can complicate tasks that require fine motor skills. This would be perfect for characters like artists, writers, etc. Or, a fighter who brushes it off as nothing till they try to throw a punch and are hit with pain.

5. Road Rash

Road rash is an abrasion caused by friction. Aka scraping skin. The raw, painful sting resulting from a fall can be a quick but effective way to add pain to your writing. Tip: it's great if you need a mild injury for a child.

6. Shoulder Dislocation

This injury can be excruciating and often leads to an inability to use one arm, forcing characters to confront their limitations while adding urgency to their situation. Good for torture scenes.

7. Deep Laceration

A deep laceration is a cut that requires stitches. As someone who got stitches as a kid, they really aren't that bad! A 2-3 inch wound (in length) provides just enough pain and blood to add that dramatic flair to your writing while not severely deterring your character.

This is also a great wound to look back on since it often scars. Note: the deeper and wider the cut the worse your character's condition. Don't give them a 5 inch deep gash and call that mild.

8. Burns

Whether from fire, chemicals, or hot surfaces, burns can cause intense suffering and lingering trauma. Like the previous injury, the lasting physical and emotional trauma of a burn is a great wound for characters to look back on.

If you want to explore writing burns, read here.

9. Pulled Muscle

This can create ongoing pain and restrict movement, offering a window to force your character to lean on another. Note: I personally use muscle related injuries when I want to focus more on the pain and sprains to focus on a lack of mobility.

10. Tendonitis

Inflammation of a tendon can cause chronic pain and limit a character's ability to perform tasks they usually take for granted. When exploring tendonitis make sure you research well as this can easily turn into a more severe injury.

This is a quick, brief list of ideas to provide writers inspiration. Since it is a shorter blog, I have not covered the injuries in detail. This is inspiration, not a thorough guide. Happy writing! :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!