A whole mess

He had a flash of a thought that while he bathed he should shave his legs and everywhere else to get ready to give birth. His ego was getting in his head about how rough and wild things would look down there by now and that he wanted everything to be neat and tidy for the nurses.

It was a split second later the reality of not being able to see his toes, never mind anything else, over the expanse of his bump set in and Steve suddenly felt more overwhelmed than he had at any point in the past few months. His pup would be here any day now and he barely felt prepared.

Sure, he’d been to the classes and read the books and bought the carseat and put infuriating locks on the cabinets, but he was about to have a life that was totally reliant on him having his shit together and knowing what he was doing.

Steve knew giving birth was everything he wanted, but suddenly he wasn’t sure he could cope. He had never felt so alone as he did right then, bare butt naked in the bathroom with a hairy coochie and a tear stained face.

For just a moment, he forgot that he wasn’t alone at all.

The sound of Eddie’s key in the door jolted Steve lightly. A buzz ran through his hips and he hissed at the sensation.

‘Baby?’ Eddie called, wandering through the house looking for his mate. ‘Where are you? I brought you that ice cream that you like. Maybe we can- oh, baby…’

Eddie leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom and took in the sight before him.

Even totally dishevelled, Steve was still the most beautiful thing he’d even seen. He took Eddie’s breath away every day, and the heavy scent of hormones hanging in the air was threatening to make him feral.

An alpha voice rattled around somewhere in Eddie’s chest and tried to insist he needed to run through the house to find whatever was making his omega cry. Find it! Kill it! Make it all safe! Mate needs calm! Pup needs safety!

Eddie shook his head lightly to clear his thoughts and went to kneel in front of Steve.

‘Whats wrong?’

‘Nothing’ Steve mumbled, suddenly embarrassed of the razor clutched in his right hand.

‘Doesn’t seem like nothing’

Steve sniffed loudly. ‘We’ll be parents soon’

Eddie smiled softly. He didn’t need the reminder. He couldn’t wait. He’d already bought a Metallica newborn sized onesie.

‘We sure will. Is that why your crying?’

‘A little…’ Steve admitted, wiping his face roughly. ‘I’m scared we’ll mess it up’

‘The baby?’

Steve levelled him with a look that came right out of highschool. ‘No Eddie, the new paint colour for the kitchen. Of course the baby!’

Eddie leaned down to kiss one of Steve’s knees, prickly from the half hearted attempt to shave at least something while he wallowed by the tub.

‘We’ll try not to’

It was honest in a way that felt almost brutal in the softness of its delivery. Steve had been hoping for some sort of song and dance about how they definitely wouldn’t. They’d undo all the mistakes that their own parents had made and nothing would go wrong.

Steve felt more tears start to fall.

It was all they could do to try, he knew that, but the idea of making any of the missteps that he’d experienced in his own childhood made his chest feel tight.

‘It doesn’t feel like enough, Eddie’ he said wetly, wincing at another sharp pain through his pelvis. He’d been sitting here too long.

‘We’ll make sure it is’ Eddie said softly, taking the razor from Steve and, reading the room in the kind of manner usually reserved for mind readers, took his ankle and started to run it gently up his leg.

Steve sat up a little and let Eddie work silently.

Occasionally he’d shake the razor through the cold water in the bath, but other than that the only sound was Steve’s breathing as he slowly calmed down.

He tried not to let Eddie feel the tension that took over every few minutes. He didn’t want to scare him.

Steve had been in denial up until now.

He was too scared to admit it, pretending everything would be okay if he could just get into the damn bath. When Eddie had each of Steve’s legs and toes smooth up to the knee, he set the razor down and looked up at his husband.

‘Feeling better?’ He asked, putting a pin in the ‘mind reader’ theory.

‘No’ Steve mumbled.

‘What can I do?’ Eddie looked concerned. He hated not being able to make everything better. His inner alpha worked hard to provide for its mate. The rush of pheromones that was coming out of him was intoxicating.

The latest contraction rolled through Steve like a lawnmower through gravel.

He screwed his eyes shut and bit the inside of his lip until it passed. When he opened his eyes again, Eddie’s pupils were wide. There was no hiding the way his scent had changed. Steve couldn’t deny it any more.

‘You could drive me to the hospital?’

‘Shit’ Eddie whispered, jumping to his feet and helping Steve to the bedroom in a sort of rushed shuffle. Steve couldn’t move as fast as either of them wanted to and Eddie was fumbling to get his car keys back out of his pocket.

‘Stay here, I’ll get the bags, okay?’

Steve sat on their mattress and felt a wave of tiredness come over him. He was already exhausted. Staying perched on the edge of the bath probably hadn’t helped. How was he going to go through labour? He was crying steadily again.

‘Steve? Steve! Talk to me, tell me what you’re feeling’ Eddie reappeared laden down with bags, dropping them all on the bedroom floor as he rushed to Steve’s side.

‘I’m scared Eddie’ Steve said, leaning into his arms. ‘I’m so scared’

‘Me too’ Eddie answered, his voice wobbling. ‘Me too’

‘Once we get to the hospital we’ll be alright, I promise’ he babbled, trying his best to calm Steve down. His scent was veering wildly between comforting and sour. ‘I promise, ok? We gotta go, come on’

‘No Eddie, I’m not ready’

‘I know, I know, but we will be. We’ve got this, and you’ve got me’

‘Eddie I can’t go yet, please-‘

‘I’ll be there every step of the way, you can squeeze my hand all you want’ Eddie pitch was quickly becoming hysterical as he tried to steer a hesitant Steve towards the stairs. ‘Lets go, lets go’

‘Eddie!’ Steve almost yelled, bring him to a halt.

‘I can’t leave the house yet’ he said firmly, but with a small smile breaking onto his face. ‘I’m still naked!’

Eddie looked down and his eyes widened. He’d been so focused on getting the hospital bags together than he forgot to put a nightgown over Steve’s head.

Eddie propped a now laughing Steve against a wall and ran back to the bedroom, pulling the first nightgown he could find from the dresser.

‘I’m going to piss myself’ Steve said through laughter when Eddie returned. And sure enough, a steady trickle started to hit the carpet. He laughed harder.

‘I’ll clean it later’ Eddie said alongside his own giggling, settling the dress over Steve’s shoulders so he could get his arms into it.

Steve sat in the front seat of the car while Eddie threw the bags and the stroller into the trunk, and double checked they had the car seat.

This was it.

It wasn’t even dark yet by the time their pup wailed her way into the world.

Eddie had been true to his word and stayed by Steve’s side every second, letting his hand be crushed so hard that a nurse offered to send him for xray.

They counted their daughter’s fingers and toes over and over.

They watched her yawn, tired from the journey she’d taken into the start of her life. Steve watched Eddie be overcome with a whole new sort of love, and Eddie watched Steve glow with the light of motherhood.

‘We did it’ Steve whispered, barely looking away from what was surely the world’s tiniest pinky toenail.

‘You did it’ Eddie replied, kissing his mate’s forehead.

‘Both of us’ Steve corrected him. ‘I wouldn’t be able to do this with anyone else. Who else would shave my legs for me?’

Eddie smiled. ‘I’ll shave any part of you any time’

‘Even my ass?’

‘Especially your ass’

They smiled into a kiss, parting as soon as their pup cooed another impossibly cute noise. Was it normal to be so obsessed with her already?

Neither of them cared if it wasn’t.

Steve was still scared, and Eddie was still toeing a fine line between feral and hysterical.

But they had each other. Their baby girl had them.

And between all three of them, they’d do their best.

They’d try.