*deserts you*

[image description: Gifset of Frodo and Sam at the end of The Two Towers. Frodo sits leaning against a stone wall, despairing and crying, saying, "What are we holding onto, Sam?" The next gif shows Sam's arm reaching out to grab Frodo under the arm and lift him to his feet. With tears running down his face, Sam says, "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for." End ID]

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

can you think of anything better than dragons. no you can't. this is because dragons are the best thing ever forever.

quit brainrot. unfollow trolls. read essays. go down rabbit holes. have a calendar. maintain a todo list. read old books. watch old movies. turn on dnd. walk with intent. eat without youtube. chew more. train without music. plan for 15 mins. execute. organise your desk. take something seriously. read ancient scripts. act fast. find bread. eat clean. journal. save a life. learn to code. read poetry. create art. stay composed. refine your speech. optimise for efficiency. act sincere. help people. be kind. stop doing things that waste your time. follow your intuition. craft reputation. learn persuasion. systemise your day (or don't). write. write. write. write more. iterate violently. leave your phone at home. walk to the grocery store. talk to strangers. feed the dogs. visit bookstores. look for 1800s novels. experience art. then love. sit with a monk and offer them lunch. don't talk shit about people. embody virtue. sit alone. do something with your life. what do you want to create? turn off your mind. play. play a sport. combat sports. notice fonts in trees. fall in love. notice patterns on a table. visualise it. talk to people with respect. don't hate. be loving. be real. become yourself. cherrypick your qualities. discard the useless. rejections aren't permanent. invite what aligns. accept what does not. read great people. be different. choose different. do great work. let it consume you. lose your mind. value your time. experience life.

i hate when customers dont follow the script so i say something out of place and then the whole things just fucked up

Thinking about a new bit where i start using “workers of the world” as my go-to second person plural pronoun. Like “chat”.

Workers of the world what do we think of this. Is it funny.

Workers of the world please like and reblog my post

Thinking about a new bit where i start using “workers of the world” as my go-to second person plural pronoun. Like “chat”.

Workers of the world what do we think of this. Is it funny.

Workers of the world please like and reblog my post

Thinking about a new bit where i start using “workers of the world” as my go-to second person plural pronoun. Like “chat”.

Workers of the world what do we think of this. Is it funny.

Workers of the world please like and reblog my post

domming is great until you hit a decision fatigue wall likeeeeee i think youre a fucking grownup and you can decide whether to cum or not on your own. be proactive for once

disturbing amount of people being like “you’re a bad domme you don’t deserve to domme” girl ur a bad comedy audience you don’t deserve to heckle get outta here

do you really think im in the middle of sex going “actually you know what? figure it out for yourself.”

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

the word 'swim' is doing a lot of heavy work here

Not half as much as the audio is

Happy 39th birthday to the internet's favorite song!