Arched symmetrical windows. That's the first lesson to every child in the kingdom and the last lesson to every unlucky person.Ā
Yelina's University? Made of marble. Only the tables were wooden. Quite a jab at the greenery. Music rang in the corridors as she walked, never stopping to listen. As the shadows covered her and the floor like a shroud even though it's just the result of poor lighting and ironically, bad urban planning.
Underclassmen noting her passage ā promptly went back to their tea and gossip. None bothered greeting because of her reputation. Too pushy, too ambitiousāwell, they see no connections with her, what else should she be?Ā
(Let them. Their incompetence wasn't her problem)
She shoved the doors open. The school gates were designed to intimidate anyone who entered or left. In the next few years, there would be a myth on how these gates were built by a titan living on a mountain or cloud ā it was that easy to make someone small.
She cut through the dark allies to a coffee shop. It was ripping at the seams ā only standing because of the pieces of wood held together by woodglue, audacity and hope but it was an investment in staying in the university. It was the only thing looking quite pleasing on the eyes in the looming alleyways. A bunch of bright neon lights gleamed on the front that stayed on in the evening till dawn.
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Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as ācoldā can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not ācoldā. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesnāt often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesnāt hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so theyāre not alone. I mean, heck, heās an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he canāt talk to living people he will chat with the dead! Thatās how much he thrives on being social!
The only time Nico has ever been actively ācoldā was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not ācold.ā He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.
Percyās neutral expression is a natural brooding look that he gets from Poseidon
That when he does smile itās crooked and makes him look like a trouble maker
When he talks itās usually very sarcastic and/or impertinentĀ
His inner monologue is actually very negative and while we, as the readers, take it as a joke heās usually pretty pessimistic for a good portion of the time
That when heās fighting his expression is fierce and is hard to tell whether he is the good guy or not
That Leo Valdez equated Percyās angry expression to the feeling he gets when Jason is about to shoot lightning. Let me repeat - just the look on Percyās face when heās angryĀ was considered on par to Jason controlling flipping lightning
That heās very very vindictive and loyal only to those he considers his friends and once you lose his trust it is nearly impossible to earn backĀ
That while he had the curse of achilles, he laughed crazily while he was single handedly destroying hordes of monsters
He made an entire volcano erupt, awakened a giant, and almost wiped out the northwest of the united states
He tortured a godess just so she would feel his misery
That heās actually very manipulative and it made Annabeth step back for a moment and reevaluate her perception of him
That while his dark side came to itās peak in house of hades and wasnāt mentioned in blood of olympus, there was no confirmation that it suddenly and completely disappeared after they left Tartarus.
Has been the child of the prophecy twice.
He manipulated Bob to kill his own brother by simply convincing him that they were friends and that is what friends did for each other
He was physically abused by his step father
That with absolutely no training at all he killed the minotaur with itās own horn at the mere age of twelve
He wins a good majority of his fights by simply outsmarting his opponentĀ
He has scared not only Annabeth but his friends and peers on more than one occasion with his attitude and powers
That heās considered extremely powerful for a demigod and for a child of the big three and makes the gods slightly nervous
That when heās upset his powers act to mimic his emotions without him even trying
Has been offered immortality
That he is actually really sorta intimidating without tryingĀ
That we need to stop reducing Percyās character to a happy-go-lucky comic relief goofball that doesnāt know his left foot from right because he is so much more than that
Well this post has unbelievably gotten more than 30k likes/reblogs and I can now die happyĀ . To celebrate, Iām extending the list of canon moments for those of you who are interested.
Percy has been to anger management classes.Ā
The name Perseus literally translates to āTo Destroy.ā Do with that what you will.Ā
Percy and his mother systematically murdered his abusive step father. And not only did Percy not feel a bit of repulse at the idea of killing someone, he offered to kill Gabe by himself if his mother couldnāt do it, then felt regret that he wasnāt the one who strike the final blow. His exact inner thought was -Ā āHow could I turn down the perfect chance to take revenge on him?ā
After Percy killed Arachne in Tartarus, his exact words to Annabeth wasĀ āShe died too easy, considering how much torture he put you through. She deserved worse.ā And it unsettled Annabeth so much that she was almost glad Arachne died quickly.
Like dam, if you havenāt figured it out already, Percy kinda has a thing for revenge.
Percyās powers grow extraordinarily fast, show no signs of stopping any time soon, and are no longer bound to only salt water or pure water liquids but now encompass all water-based liquids.
Percy blood bended in Tartarus.
āHe didnāt want to stop. He wanted to choke this goddess. He wanted to watch her drown in her own poison. He wanted to see just how much misery Misery could take.ā - Perseus Jackson while torturing Akhlys.
Luke and Kronos when talking about Percy not only referred to him as a weapon, but an unreliable one at that.
Frank literally compared Percyās fighting style to a demon.
Percy pretty much took out half of the Roman Legion single-handedly during the War Games and basically just caused mass chaos and panic.
When Frank, Hazel, and Percy were traveling in SoN, street gangsĀ didnāt bother them because one look from Percy sent them running in the other direction. One look.
Percyās wolf stare was described asĀ āNo matter how bad you think you are, Iām worse.ā
Feeling emo and just wanted to add some context to this post if you ever see it floating around:Ā
When I made this (literal years ago) the climate of the pjo fandom was at a place where Percy was constantly being reduced to someone who was too stupid to function and any skill or wit he had was just seen as reckless impulsivity or unfairly credited to Annabeth. Persassyā¢ was still fairly prevalent, or at least the echoing characterization of it was.
And I made these posts as a direct response to that. Basically saying, hey, Percy isnāt this obtuse goofball everyone is making him out to be. Heās really deadly smart and intelligent (even if its not in the same way that Annabeth is) and can be quite vindictive and dark and hereās some direct text evidence of that.
So of course, all of these bullet-points are going to be directly on those types of characteristics he possesses: How powerful he is, how scary he can intentionally or unintentionally be, his vindictiveness, etc etc etc.Ā
And without having the context of the time I posted it, I feel like this now seems as if Iām painting Percy to be anĀ āunhappy, edgy, bad boyā which could not be further from it.Ā
Percy is a beautifully written and multifaceted character. His love for his family and friends is defining of him. Just as much as how far he would go for them is. He loves deeply and profoundly. He cherishes his mother. He would brave fire and brimstone for Annabeth. His empathy for others is wholehearted.
This post is still one of my favorites and will always hold a special place in my heart because I still feel that all of these points are defining of him, even if they arenāt the only points that are. And the fact that it has this many notes is genuinely insane to me.
šThe Elemental Alignment of Kim Taehyung (Part 3) - Tarot & Oracle Reading
[Performed: May 23, 2025 / Posted: June 5, 2025]
PAST NOTES
Earlier in April, I started working on the readings I wanted to do for the BTS Countdown Event, and as I mentioned, there were a few readings that I eventually had to remove from the schedule as they became quite gigantic and there wasnāt going to be enough time to include them with everything else. One of those readings was the BTS Bias Breakdown, which Iāve mentioned a couple of times in earlier posts, and I definitely need to reference some of what came out there for Taehyung and his soul group as a lot of it is really hammering down on aspects of his soul and his conscious mind in pretty negative ways.
Just so you can see the difference, here is the layout for Namjoonās soul groupās energy signature reading:
And here is the lay out for Taehyungās soul groupās energy signature:
In case you canāt tell, Taehyungās soul group is split down the middle showcasing his ACTUAL soul group on the left and what I was simply referring to as āThe Destroyersā based on their main card on the right. Taehyung was the only one to have a split group like this. As you can see, on the side of The Destroyers they are shown to be associated with Migraine, Inspiration, Disease, Loyal Heart in reverse, Distress, Action, Drugs/Alcohol, Capricorn, and Suicide. On the left side, the side of his actual soul group, they are associated with The Thread, Power, Passion, Yin (Divine Feminine), Phases, Home, Learning, Jumping Lives, and Rich.
I have been talking FOR YEARS about the negative impact and influence certain people have on Taehyung, specifically in the realm of his self-perception and overall identity, and FOR YEARS Iāve been watching this get worse and worse despite his own soulās effort to heal on a higher level and his conscious level efforts to step outside of the box heās been put in. Like, Iām so pissed off about this but itās to a point of numbness because of what came through for the reading above and what has come through here for Taehyungās Elemental Alignment, specifically what came through in contact through the inner world or through his soul, suggests that weāre about to watch someone completely unplug from their soul and wither over time.
It seems like all of the higher involvement, their Guides ā his individually and the ones associated with the group ā are at a loss of what to do or how to fix this because so much of it has rooted into the conscious mind and, for the sake of self-preservation, it looks like Taehyung has disconnected his awareness of his own subconscious mind, meaning heās disengaging from his own emotional responses to things, how things affect him. Itās almost like he WANTS to be a doll because it hurts less, itās less exhausting, itās less of a fight to just give in and be whatever people want him to be, whatever will get him approval or favor.
In the BTS Bias Breakdown, I circled an entire section of my notes and wrote āhauntingly biblical.ā For the sake of not taking up too much time and to not take away what needs to be discussed in relation to other elements of this reading, I will include my notes on this for reference here, but I will be going into more detail about it when I actually get around to writing the BTS Bias Breakdown.
[NOTES FROM BTS BIAS BREAKDOWN ā TAEHYUNG]
4 pointed arrow shooting upward
Google: Four blade arrow ā āarrows of revival are the faithful believers who do not look backā ā refers to believers who want to move forward with their faith and do not want to look back on past mistakes or regrets.
āArrows often symbolize Godās judgment and wrath upon sinful nations.ā
SATURN = GOD = KARMIC RETRIBUTION
Visual ā Taehyung attempts to shoot the arrow upward at God/Universe/or the World, will inevitably shoot himself as the arrow falls straight back down toward him ā I heard āan arrow shot upward will split the spineā ā Split identities, one of ego and one of soul, the soul will separate, peeled out of the body through an open wound, the ego will take over. Perpetual blindness to the self. Damage that canāt be undone.
SACRAL CHAKRA ā Soul Body position.
Deliberate creation and projection ā his energy center still rules over this in the body, he rules over the most honest and primal form of self-identification and self-realization, his soul disconnecting and not being able to do this puts the whole line at risk. May require necessary removal. Theyāre looking at him like heās a tumor.
Lower energies, lower consciousness latch onto this energy field of self-identification and self-realization, but they do not have the capacity to use as it is intended ā they can not self-actualize, they donāt have the capacity, so instead they project onto him to such a degree that he himself loses his identity. This corrupts the soulās standing as the ruler of self-identification and self-realization. ā They were the first to shoot the arrow, Taehyung got his arrow from them, from The Destroyers. Their arrow split his identity before it ācame back downā and split them. This is where that split in the soul began.
His ego mirrors them, their egos mirror him ā perpetual distortion and corruption.
The higher soul ā ālast resortā ā shoot himself, intentional separation of the soul from the body, intentional separation of the soul from the Soul Body.
SELF-SACRIFICE ā Higher soul sacrifices position in the body, conscious level sacrifices personal identity, lower souls, The Destroyers, bathe in the blood ā Self damnation.
SELF-ACTUALIZATION ā the key ā ācanāt do it.ā
#604 (visual) ā 6 is free will, self-actualizing into 4D reality ā 0 is the void, canāt make it happen. Flashing 666, Capricorn, Child of Saturn, The Devil card, wrongfully demonized, Taehyungās image has been painted into something his soul does not fit, his conscious mind is abiding by it. Necessary disconnect.
SPLIT THE GROUPS ā The Thread/The Saviors/Soul Group ā The Destroyers/Yuck/Leeches
The Destroyers ā Killers 23-5, stagnating the whole Soul Group, affecting entire system within ARMY soul group, infection ā possibly the epicenter of the main Soul Groupās severe frequency drop and social chaos.
The Saviors ā souls here to progress with Taehyung, currently at a standstill, energy put toward anchoring Taehyungās heart, attempting to keep his soul intact.
[END NOTES]
NOTES FROM INNER WORLD
So, obviously, with all of that in mind, I definitely wanted to try and see if I could get any kind of direct connection to Taehyungās higher aspects, but as you know, thatās always a bit tricky so I had to play it cool. Rather than attempting to enter his space, I laid out an open space, an invitation for him to enter mine under the supervision and protection of my Guides, his Guides, the whole thing. I wasnāt expecting much, but there was a quick bit of connection that occurred and I tried to just move with it, not force it any one way, but it left me quiteā¦ upset. To say the least.
It started with knocking, as if he was knocking on the door to get it, attempting to announce his presence which was already odd because something about it felt timid which is not a word I would use to describe his energy on this level most of the time, but it made sense later on. The set up of this place visually was very simple, just a blank room with a table, Iām sitting on one side, thereās an empty chair on the other. Very suddenly, boom, heās there, but he looks quite different than I remember. He looked very small, thin, and quite disheveled. There were noticeable burns on his neck, chest, and hands, holes ripped and burned through the shirt he was wearing.
I was waiting for him to talk but when it seemed like he wasnāt going to, I just asked, āwhat happened to you?ā He put his head down, seemed to shrug and shake his head, and then, without looking up, he just held his hands out over the table. They were shaking, severely burned, skin looking like it was about to slide off. It reminded me of how Hoseokās soul looked, how his energy looked during the Soul Body manipulation back in the day, evidence of severe damage on an energetic level. I remembered the healing process, the use of Water to cool and heal energy centers back then, so I attempted to do that there. I took his hands and just ran water over them, tried to have it go through his body but there were blocks, and it almost felt like he couldnāt hold it, or didnāt have the capacity for that high of a frequency. Because of that, I kept it superficial and focused on his hands and forearms, his skin, and let it run over until his skin seemed healed enough to not be literally falling apart. I also attempted to get him to drink some of the water as well because I just really felt like he needed to have it in the body as well. He tried but it seemed like it didnāt or wasnāt able to swallow, it sputtered out and ran down his face. Iām not sure if that helped anything.
After that, he just held his hands in his lap and kept his head down. A few times one of his Guides stepped in just as I was about to say something or ask something, them stopping me to say, āhe has something to say.ā He wasnāt saying anything, but I kept looking at him, looking over the burns, and I noticed on his hands, the burns were coming back. It looked like the burning was happening from the inside out, as if there was fire moving through his veins and burning through his skin. So I said, āare your insides burning?ā He finally looked up like he was going to say something, but his mouth just sort of hung open, and his eyes kept getting wider and wider like he was about to panic. I was getting a little nervous with this so I asked if one of the Guides, mine or his, could assist with the communication.
Someone stepped in, one of his Guides, and said simply, āthis one was put together, heās not all there.ā I was confused for a bit, but then it was shown to me what they were talking about and, to be honest, I donāt know if I saw this right because this doesnāt seem like something you should be able to do, but then again, what the hell do I know?
They showed me something that looked like some kind of genetic experiment situation in a laboratory. They demonstrated something that looked like Taehyungās soul, or what was available to use, being forcibly merged with the Ego in an attempt to raise the Ego, illuminate the subconscious space, and pull Taehyungās conscious awareness back into himself and back toward his soul. That was the goal, but judging from the situation, that is not what was happening. The Ego was inflamed, it was already burning, the sense of self and identity was already being eaten away, and they attempted to save it by forcing it into one half of Taehyungās split soul. Thatās who was sitting in front of me, one half of Taehyungās soul that was burning from the inside out as a result of being forcibly merged with an inflamed Ego of his conscious counterpart. Wild shit, huh?
This kind of pissed me off even more because what the fuck? For one, HOW? For two, WHY? For three, WHO APPROVED THIS? This doesnāt seem like a thing that can be done or should be done.
But obviously, I try not to get too ruffled up when Iām actually in contact because that can throw things off quite a bit, so in a very nice and very polite way, I asked his Guides, āwhy did you do this, and why did you do it in this way?ā Their response was given with a visual of the Soul Body and the process of revival. Taehyung is not in a position to be put through an incubation phase like some of the others where they are receiving new codes or āupgradesā in their souls to handle new missions or progressions, and his soul is not in tact enough to be operating as a generator like Jin, which seems to be what heās supposed to be doing. The separate layers of consciousness, which were being marked with his soul, his Ego, and his conscious mind, are, or were, so separated that they could have registered as all belonging to completely different people with no relation at all.
They seemed a bit desperate to clarify that they didnāt know that this would be the result of the forced merging, they didnāt know it was going to cause this much pain and damage to the soul. They assumed the soul, even if itās only half, would have been able to be high enough frequency that it would overpower and suppress the Ego. Unfortunately, it seems that Taehyungās soul in general had fallen quite a bit and this definitive split that has occurred only caused it to drop even more in frequency. This is why they can āregister as different people,ā itās not coming through as a higher aspect, itās nearly resonating on the same level as the conscious mind. Itās almost like the Ego is higher than the soul, and thatās why it appears to be burning through the body of the soul.
They then clarified that it was considered an emergency situation due to the fact that with Taehyungās conscious mind being so disconnected from his own soul, his own personal passions and inspiration, while his soul is meant to be ruling over creative expression and action in the Soul Body, puts him at risk of losing his position altogether. They seemed to confirm something I had been getting in the BTS Bias Breakdown reading where I was seeing something alluding to the idea of Taehyungās energy center being removed from the Soul Body as it was beginning to function like a tumor, with the potential to cause the Soul Body to sink or become unstable in its function. The same way that the ARMY soul group is meant to be moving up and away from toxicity over time, so to is the Soul Body, but in both spaces, the epicenter of these negative and chaotic influences of chaos and destruction are directly connected to lower-level consciousnesses, people, who have, like parasites, attached themselves to Taehyungās image, energy, and soul.
I then asked, āwhere is he supposed to go?ā Like, if heās taken out of the body, where the heck is he going to be? Like, this is the first time inā¦ FOREVER that theyāve operated as individual souls and they still require a level of tethering because theyāre still not TECHNICALLY ready for full separation yet, so WHERE IS HE GOING TO GO? Responding to this, they showed me what looked like new blueprints that would essentially have Taehyungās energy center operating as and from the same position that Jungkookās energy center was in the original Soul Body.
In the original Soul Body, Jungkook was the Root of the body, the base of the spine, the last line of separation between the higher aspects and the conscious and physical level aspects. It was one of the reasons he had so many energy lines connected to him back in the day, and itās one of the reasons why he feels so connected to ARMYs in general, he is the first line of connection, he is the part that anchors them into the physical reality. They were suggesting that the best case scenario would be that they could get Taehyung to operate in that position, but rather than holding direct connections, he would be operating mainly as an anchor which would take his superficial focus and disconnect from the soul from being a major detriment to his operation and turn it into something that ensures physical deliverance.
I was still confused by this because the new Soul Body is being described as āethericā and not holding the same structure as it was previously, and thereās still an issue of the people who are fusing themselves to him having access to the Soul Body and the soul group. So, I asked them to explain and they showed me something that looked like a satellite dish, something planted on Earth, that was positioned and pointed straight at another solar system. This dish, which would be Taehyung, would be able to pick up frequencies and transmissions from the solar system, the new Soul Body, and transmit them or broadcast them on a conscious level. He, however, would not be able to communicate himself or send anything upward, he would only operate as a receiver, an anchor, a stationary echo chamber for the Soul Body. His soul would not play a role in the Soul Body or on a conscious level. He would just be a conduit. And he would still be open and vulnerable, perhaps even more so, to parasitic leeches on a conscious and energetic level. There would be no extra protection for him as everyone and everything would be focused on protecting the Soul Body.
I had to sit with this for a bit because I was really overwhelmed and was very upset because the whole time, I have, at least part of, Taehyung sitting in front of me looking like heās just shrinking in on himself the more they talk and show me what theyāre trying to do. This soul has been broken into pieces and is now being burned from the inside out all because parasitic people latched onto him and made him hate himself so much that he cut off his own awareness of the parts of him that were āweirdā or āannoying,ā the parts that donāt āmatch his face.ā PARTS THAT ARE LITERALLY HIS SOUL. Like, this wasnāt done by some heavy influence in the Universe or some kind of cosmic war or whatever the fuck, this was caused by PEOPLE. His soul could be permanently damaged because of self-centered, self-hating PEOPLE who decided Taehyung was nothing more than their doll to play with and heās about to pull the final plug on himself and just let go of all of it. On a conscious level, heāll be fine, Iām sure, justā¦ I mean, I guess weāll have to see, but for the most part I would assume heād just drift a little bit, a slight dimming effect to his overall being, and possibly a noticeable acclimation into certain spaces or groups that most people, right now, may think he would never touch, but you know. A man can drift pretty far when he lets go of his soul.
I then asked Taehyungās soul, āIs there anything specific youāre trying to do? Do you need help with anything?ā He looked up at me for just a second before putting his head back down and laying his hands out over the table like he did before. The burns were back, the skin looking like it was about to fall off again. I did the water thing again, tried to get it as far down into the skin as I could, tried to get it further up the arms, but thereās a resistance or a pressure that builds up at some point, making it look very painful, so again, I settled on keeping it on the surface. And again, he pulled his hands back and held them in his lap.
I gave it a few minutes, just trying to settle into the space more, before I asked, āis there anything you want to say? It can make it out to the conscious mind.ā I was referring to the element of transmission through readings where if something is said outloud or written out, just by that alone it can kind of ātake a short cutā to the conscious awareness, kind of like invisible radio waves passing through the mind and encouraging certain realizations or inspiration.
All he said, very quietly, was, āwhy does it have to hurt?ā and āI donāt know where the rest of me is. I donāt think I exist anymore.ā
I really didnāt know what to say to that, so I addressed his Guides again and asked if any of the others could help him, the same way they were helping each other, especially Hoseok, with the Soul Body manipulation. They were very quick to shut that down and showed images jumping back and forth, displaying the old body and the new body. It seemed to suggest that they HAD TO help each other last time because they were literally one structure, if one was messed up they were all messed up, like a sickness running through a household. Now, with the separation, Taehyungās soul is essentially in quarantine. Heās being kept further away due to this āinfectionā of lower, heavier energy that has caused all of this damage. This, again, seems to be why theyāre looking at him like a tumor or something that may need to be removed. Itās not able to spread to the others on a higher level the way it was before.
Now this is the point where I definitely was getting a pissed off and started letting my mouth run because this whole things seems completely fucked up, like you can interfere enough to force an inflamed subconscious element to merge with HALF of someoneās soul, but you canāt interfere enough to BLOCK OUT the negative influences to begin with? It was all hands on deck when the Soul Body was messed up last time, but now that itās just ONE of them we can all just sit back and watch this happen?? And itās supposed to be okay because at least he can function as a satellite dish???? THAT IS A SOUL. That is a whole consciousness that has developed alongside all these other souls and heās just going to get exiled and demoted because of what OTHER PEOPLE have done to him????????? HE IS IN PAIN. HIS SOUL IS IN PAIN. HE IS BURNING FROM THE INSIDE OUT. Why is he not AT LEAST going to the infirmary for this type of thing? Yoongi got sent to the infirmary for that scooter bullshit, but Taehyung canāt after YOU decided to merge half his soul with an inflamed Ego????????????????????? OH MY GOD??????
I was like, okay seriously, what can I do? Is there anything that I can do? Can I do the same type of healing and protection thing that I did last time for the Soul Body but just on Taehyung? They said no. They said that wouldnāt work because the only reason it worked last time was because I wasnāt doing it alone, they (the Guides) were doing it as well and I was just being used as a basic conduit ā in other words, I was the only tapping into this shit at the time so they just utilized my connections as reinforcement on a conscious and physical level to anchor in the process and make it so that it would actually take hold faster. So, I canāt do that again unless ALL of their Guides are on the same page and are doing it. The other Guides who are connected to the other guysā souls and energy centers are completely hands-off with this matter, it doesnāt concern them at all.
I was really at a loss on how to continue with this. I couldnāt think of anything else to ask, it didnāt seem like the part of Taehyung that was in front of me had anything else to say, or at the very least wasnāt super excited to share anything. My mind kept flashing to different readings, different spaces I had observed different parts of Taehyung in, and I was just getting so sad with everything, like Iāve never known a single piece of him to ever be completely okay. My mind shot back to a very specific place, a very specific version of his inner world, a place that was a temporary inner world where I had connected with a part of Taehyung that I recognized to be āanother halfā of him. It was in his second Internal Alignment reading from 2021, and all I could think about was how much of a fight there was in him at that time to kill off his Ego. He was attempting to fight back against the Ego that had taken a part of him and locked him away ā that was the part that was sitting in front of me here. The part that had been forcibly merged with the Ego, the part that is now burning from the inside out. He canāt kill it without killing himself. Thereās no way for him to win here. I really couldnāt handle this shit.
For reference, this is what was coming to mind the most from that reading:
[THE INTERNAL ALIGNMENT OF KIM TAEHYUNG (PART 2) ā 2021]
āThere was some other stuff in there, but the last bit that was the most significant to me was when he showed what he was building. Similar to the state that Jimin is in now, and that the other guys were in before, Taehyung is in the process of building up a new world, or in this case, it seems like heās in the process of building a literal vehicle to take him out of this world, out of this white room, and into another world entirely. Specifically, he showed me this half-built train with laid train tracks. It was a model train, sitting on that table in the center of the room, materials and tools scattered around, but he made it clear that this train was meant to take him somewhere else. Heās hoping it will take him somewhere else.
As he was showing me this train, he kept talking and I didnāt catch much, but one thing stood out to me and that was when he said, āsometimes he listens to me.ā When he said this, he had this twinge of anger in his voice, and he glanced and gestured over his shoulder at that blacked-out, one-way window. This seemed significant to me because the first thought that came to my mind was that was where the ego was, that was where the other half was being kept. I wanted to ask about it, but didnāt and it was never mentioned again.
Taehyung talked about this train for a while longer, and he seemed to be getting more and more frustrated or annoyed as he did, seeming to become less and less focused, sort of drifting a bit to the point where he started to lose his form. He started to look more and more like he did in the beginning ā older, wispier, made out of black smoke, and a bit more distant behind the eyes. It was almost like everything started glitching, speeding up, and he started flashing in and out, almost bouncing around the room. He kept talking as if he didnāt realize this was happening.
Then, everything just stopped and he said, āI donāt want to go back to the old corpse.ā This hit me kind of hard because it took me back to what things looked like for this half of Taehyungās core when it was still split and the more ego-based side was shoving this half into a literal cupboard and burning away its water. At that time, this half of Taehyungās core looked like a corpse, like a mummified version of Taehyung, emaciated, frail, but still breathing. Itās like he was saying he doesnāt want to go back to that, and the only way to do that is to get away from this space altogether. He doesnāt know how to kill off the other side, apparently canāt communicate with him as he only āsometimesā listens, and therefore, he just wants to get out of there on this train. I really didnāt have the heart or the bravery to tell him that that most likely will not work.ā
[END]
I didnāt have anything else to say and I really didnāt want to be sad in front of him, for some reason I thought that would be worse than being angry in front of him. So, I just said āI think we can be done with this now,ā and he looked up, opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but he just ended up nodding. Awkward as hell, I donāt know why I did it, but I held my hand out to shake his before I left the space. Surprisingly, he did shake my hand, his skin was already starting to burn away again, and he said to me, ātake care of yourself.ā And then the line was cut.
GUIDELINE
Moving on to his guideline reading for the Elemental Alignment, I just focused in on projected energy of the overall system since I really couldnāt figure out what level would be the most important to look at since we can consider the conscious level to be acting purely on its own and the soul and subconscious spaces being in a state of fuckery that is nearly incomprehensible to me at this point.
Just in the top row, there is this kind of wild slamming of opposing energies there between The Ocean and Aries. I was seeing The Ocean being reflected in Remembrance, most likely connecting to the soul while Aries reflects into Impulsiveness, which is associated with Mars in Aries, most likely reflecting the Ego or what is taking over or has taken over the subconscious and conscious level elements. With Between Worlds we can see the element of the Soul itself being split while the image of Inner Strength appears to reflect what I was seeing visually of Taehyungās soul burning from the inside, skin falling off.
Even the image of Between Worlds and Impulsiveness seem to face each other, the soul appearing more passive, weakened already by that halved state, while the Ego storms forward with an attempt to overtake and possibly burn off the soul completely for the sake of what is being perceived from that lower level, and possibly the conscious level, as self-preservation. Essentially, itās coming off as Taehyung having been driven to hate himself so much that his own Ego wants to kill off the soul entirely. The Ego is āfighting backā against the effort to subdue it or weaken it by having it forcibly merged with the soul, and the soul itself, or what is left of it, is just too exhausted and is without any other assistance to be able to fight back.
The stark contrast between The Ocean and Aries is very jarring for me, and I canāt really put my finger on why. I mean, weāre looking at the vast depths of The Ocean representing the infinite state of the soul in its entirety, all of it, every lifetime, the origins, everything. And then Aries is just the body and the mind, the conscious and physical levels, only known from the time of its own physical existence, a very finite self-perception. In a way, thereās this sense of insecurity to where Aries, or the Ego, feels so small in comparison to the soul, and so, just on its own, its own insecurity causes it to want to destroy the Soul. Itās just so strange to me that all of these parts that are born from each other, that are inherently connected, could be brought to such a state where the soul is seen as an enemy to the body, the face, the name of the physical incarnation of it.
The Disease and Migraine cards are present on The Destroyerās side of his soul groupās reading, which was representing a disease of the mind, a breakdown of the mind through their influence. This alongside Patterns also gives way to something that feels like brainwashing or systems of conformity that target the mind and spread like a disease, replicating itself as it passes from one person to another. In both Migraine and Patterns, there are depictions of distorted faces, the face in Patterns beginning to fade into the background, as things break out of the top of their heads. In Patterns, the top of the head is taken over by mushrooms while the top of the head in Migraine is shown to be ripping open and spewing the same dark, tar-like material that is shown to be running out of their eyes and mouth. Distortion is being created in the mind, itās leaking out, spreading, and infecting others.
If you canāt guess where my mind is going here, go give that Taekookers vs. Jikookers video I made another watchā¦
With the Light and Shadow cards, both of the Light cards came out covered by the Shadow cards. Leap of Faith was covered up by Broken Home, and Maintenance Check was covered by Fresh Blood. Itās very vague, but Iām seeing A Leap of Faith connecting back to an element of the soul having had attempted to do something to fix itself, or to overtake the Ego, but due to the Broken Home, or his soulās quarantine from the other souls in the Soul Body, left him unable to do it. It feels quite heavy because it was something that was very easy or seemed like an easy solution, he, on a higher level, would just have needed some additional support from the others, but he is not able to connect with them in the current state.
Maintenance Check being covered up by Fresh Blood felt like a reference to an infirmary period being denied, going back to me wondering why the fuck they didnāt send him off the same way they did with Yoongi. It looks like a logistics issue where infirmary periods are to manage scars, manage damage thatās already been dealt. No one can do anything for him as heās actively and continuously being burned and infected on all levels. Itās sort of a ātoo far goneā situation mixed with a āthatās out of our jurisdiction.ā
Both of these sets come together to say, he canāt get help on the inside and he canāt get help on the outside.
The last three cards feel distant or very quiet, in such a way that I feel these are connecting to Taehyungās soul, his desire or his hope for being able to heal and reform himself into what he was supposed to be all along. Scary Images is connecting to the computer screen we see in the Ten of Swords, a reference to the Ego or the superficial mask, the curated image, the distorted identity created through the projections of others through the screen, through social media, through media in general. The soul wants to kill it off completely, eliminate any level of influence the Ego and The Destroyers have had. All in an effort to initiate a complete rebirth as represented by The Fool.
Thereās a bit of a heavy reminder, however, to the element of potential that The Fool holds. Itās number 0, itās a void, which is taking me back to the #604 that I was seeing with the soul group reading. Itās almost like weāre looking at a dream that the soul is having, one that it knows it probably canāt achieve or is completely impossible, but itās, for its own sake, for its own comfort, holding onto it in an effort to not give up on itself. Part of this feels like his soul is trying to hold onto hope for the conscious level Taehyung, not wanting to give up on him even though it seems Taehyung has given up on his soul.
Lastly, the keywords for the guideline are Aries, Friends, Illness, and Jumping Lives. Thereās a conflict between Aries and Friends, regarding Illness, which seems to register on multiple levels, referencing Taehyungās separation from the Soul Body, as well as a possible separation or distance from them on a conscious level. Iām sure it wonāt be as dramatic on a conscious level, but thereās this feeling of Disease/Migraine literally causing a kind of repulsion in both directions, something that creates hostility or maybe just a general discomfort.
Jumping Lives was giving off a nicer vibe, similar to The Fool, a kind of hopeful energy for a sudden and quick transition into something better. Jumping Lives does refer to dramatic shifts in reality or conscious level perception, which may put even more weight behind the idea that the only way to really better any of this is for Taehyung, on a conscious level, to very deliberately acknowledge and disconnect from certain outside influences and reclaim his identity. It would have to be quite dramatic in order for it to register with the Ego.
GUIDELINE WITH SPRINKLES
Starting over The Ocean, which was resonating with his soul, he has āwell, I tried to callā¦ā This is moving over into Remembrance where he has āold movies,ā which was coming through like old video instruction manuals, something that could possibly be reflecting old blueprints or the original design of the soul or Taehyungās path in this lifetime.
Then, connecting Remembrance to Between World, which was showing the split or halved aspect of the soul, there is āleave it here,ā which felt like a highlight being put over the idea of the other half of the soul literally having those āold moviesā or the old blueprints, suggesting that the part of the soul that remains doesnāt have access to them either. On top of Between Worlds is āit is that deep,ā and at the bottom of the card, there is a black Sprinkle which represents heavier negative energies or influences. With the way this is laid out, it appears as if the Flamingo in the image literally canāt move forward because both sides, or both halves of the soul, are stuck in heavier energies.
āThe soil is too dry!ā connects Between Worlds to Inner Strength, which is where I was seeing the image on the card reflect how Taehyungās soul appeared in terms of it burning from the inside.This Sprinkle is in reference to a situation where the environment is not supportive of what you are trying to do or something that you are trying to initiate, implying that the soil you are attempting to plant your seeds in is not fertile. This brought to mind what has come up before in reference to the Ego attempting to kill or subdue the soul by ādrying out its water,ā or trying to intentionally cut off both creative and emotional input and output.
Over Inner Strength is āthat is the truth,ā and āsomething is hidden.ā This immediately made me think of what the soul said about not knowing where the rest of him is, where the other half of the soul is. I mean, we can assume itās being hidden, if it's even still there at all, by the Ego, because thatās exactly what happened before with THIS half of the soul. It was shoved into a cupboard and left to dry out. Now, there could be some sketchy shit where the Ego did in fact take over the other half and fully integrate it, as in, it ate the other half of the soul from the inside out and is attempting to do the same thing with this half. There was a point where the two halves could be looked at as one being the āactualā soul while the other half was more in line with the Ego, or more controlled by the Ego. It would make more sense of why they attempted to forcibly merge this half of the soul with what is registered as the Ego if they literally thought that WAS the other half of the soul.
Over the Aries card, which resonates completely with the inflamed Ego, there is Aries. This would be the third fourth reference to Aries in the guideline with the Aries card, Impulsiveness being connected to Mars in Aries, and the first keyword being Aries. This is a massive emphasis being put on Cardinal Fire, double Fire energy, as well as the more self-focused or individualized focus on the Ego itself. This is probably amplifying or feeding off of any and all influences of Aries, Cardinal, or Fire energy that he has in his imprinting or his birth chart.
Connecting downward from Aries/Aries is āsicknessā which connects this card to the Ten of Swords. The Ten of Swords was in the space of the āsoulās dreamā or the hope of being able to kill the Ego, or kill the distortion of image and identity that has been created by others. Over the Ten of Swords is āself-undoing,ā and āgasoline.ā These seem to be butting heads with āself-undoingā connecting to the soulās desire to strip the Ego and undo the distortion, while āgasolineā registers as the Egoās desire to burn away the soul.
Underneath the Ten of Swords, registering as an outside source, there is ārebirth is pending...ā I was feeling this connecting to a much higher level of outlook or blueprinting, something that goes beyond their Guides, saying that there is potential there for this to work or happen, itās just extremely unlikely due to the necessary input from the conscious level Taehyung.
āRebirth is pending,ā bounced over to The Fool card as well as downward toward Jumping Lives. Over The Fool, there is a back-and-forth set of three that say, ācan you breathe?ā āonce the path has been created,ā and āabsolute best.ā They were coming together as:
āCan you breathe?ā
āNo, but once the path has been cleared, Iāll be breathing better than ever.ā
This feels like an outside check-in with the soul, which is nice, especially over The Fool, over the soulās vision of a better progression. But thereās a kind of odd feeling to it, going back to Between Worlds and the flamingo being stuck in the dark energy or the black tar. Itās making me think of someone stuck in a cave, like those crazy horrific situations where thereās only like a centimeter of wiggle room and someoneās gotten stuck upside down. Like, someone popping in to be like, āyouāre still getting air, right?ā and the person whoās stuck, in an effort to stay calm, laughs and says, āJust barely! Iād breathe even better if I wasnāt in here!ā
Itās like thereās still effort SOMEWHERE, thereās still hope SOMEWHERE, but something about it feels soā¦ fake? Put on? For show? Or maybe itās just that, at this point, it really does feel too good to be true, the element of The Fool and actually being able to get everything back on track on every level. Even with ācrazy goodā over Jumping Lives, it feels unbelievable and so far away from the current situation. I mean, there are pretty crazy and unbelievable rescue missions that happen all the time for those cave-diving accidents, so maybe there is something there for the soul to hope for.
Moving over to the set that has Patterns, Disease, and Migraine, there are a handful of Sprinkles that say, āExcitement!ā ācamping!ā āyou are protected, run free,ā āfrom a place of fear and ego,ā and ālibraā toward the bottom. This is really interesting because this is connecting to whatever source is giving the ārebirth is pending,ā which I felt coming in from something much higher than their Guides.
First, the āexcitement!ā is connecting back to The Fool and ācrazy good,ā over Jumping Lives through the color yellow, which seems to be mainly representing something of conscious level illumination, a sudden awareness in the conscious mind that would have to occur in order to that blatant reclaiming of identity and distancing from negative influences and leeches on Taehyungās part. The remaining Sprinkles come together as āwe can see you camping (hiding). You are protected. Run away and free yourself from a place of fear and ego.ā Whoever or whatever is confirming that there is still hope for a rebirth is encouraging Taehyung on a conscious level to run like hell in the exact opposite direction that his Ego is telling him to go.
Literally, itās telling him to run towards Libra, the opposite of Aries, which would imply his friends, chosen people in his circle, the most trusted. On a conscious level, this would also suggest running toward people who actually know him, who see him and have seen his soul, people who can reflect back to him and perhaps remind him or affirm to him that his true self is still in there.
This aspect of Libra and focus on friends takes us over to the keyword Friends, which has a green Sprinkle that says, āthe first message,ā which feels like a big neon sign saying, āThis is where it starts! This is where youāll wake up!ā This green Sprinkle then reflects upward toward the set of cards that had Leap of Faith hidden under Broken Home. Over this set is another green Sprinkle that says āit was different then,ā seeming to refer to a time where there wasnāt that sense of separation on any level. Then, over Broken Home on its own is the number ā7ā and a prompt to āconsult Moononlogy.ā
Quite an interesting set came out here with both of the Eclipse cards coming out, implying quite massive potential shifts occurring close out and initiating two different states of being or progressions. While the Eclipse cards feel very loose, similar to how The Fool feels like a dream, the two center cards are reflecting something more tangible, something that pretty much mimics exactly what we see with Aries and Libra.
With the Aries Full Moon next to the Gemini New Moon, itās showing that one part has to close in order for the other to open, which is a little confusing as it creates this kind of odd perpetual loop in my mind. Basically, itās coming across as the only way to subdue Taehyungās Ego is for him to connect with his friends the way that he used to, to open up to them quite deeply and, in that, reflect on himself, see himself as he used to. But the only way heāll do that, like really get the Water energy moving, get the emotional and creative energies expressing again, is if the Ego is subdued. This, along with the Eclipse cards, is making me think of what I said about his reclaiming of his identity and separating from negative influences would have to be very dramatic, very visible, very out in the open.
This also seems to be referencing the potential of soul becoming whole again as Iām seeing the horns of the ram on Aries card being the soul split in two, peeling away from each other, while the two heads in Gemini card reflect the two halves coming back together, one with eyes open and the other with eyes closed, suggesting that one has been subdued in order to merge properly. That could be showing the aspect of the Ego as we see it here actually being the other half of the soul.
Lastly, connecting Fresh Blood over to Scary Images is āno one needs to know,ā followed by āI could have, butā¦ā over Scary Images on its own. This is making me think of some sort of dropping the ball scenario occurring on multiple levels at once, such a situation where there was an issue and it could have been handled if it had been reported, but it never was. Iām seeing this hit on the soul level as well as the conscious level. Itās so specific to something regarding pain, physical or emotional pain, and choosing to keep that inside, pushing it down, which caused the Ego to āget biggerā in order to hold, cover up, or just deal with that pain. This is something his soul was doing along with the conscious level, which may or may not be the root cause of how and why the Ego even got this out of control to begin with. If thatās the case, there essentially would have been the conscious level giving power to the subconscious from below and the soul giving power from above, and in that amplifying the space of the subconscious where the Ego resides.
This shit is so complicated like what the hell are we even talking about right now?
MAIN READING
CORE ENERGY: OWL ā AIR (REV.)
With the main reading, weāre looking at the core state at the time of reunion, which could pretty much be what it is right as the disconnect from the soul could suggest there wouldnāt be much of a change in the overall function. Here, in his core, he has the Owl in reverse. In reverse, the Owl is associated with scarcity or lack, created by a blindness in the Owl that blocks out treasures, opportunities, or potentials that it could normally see and move toward in the upright position.
Thereās a major emphasis here on the Air energy, putting this closer to the conscious level mind, which is making me think of the soulās own potential being limited by the conscious mind, or the soul being able to see elements of potential that the conscious level mind is filtering out, denying, or has literally gone blind to. Itās making me think of a really thick fog having overtaken the Owl or Taehyungās perception of potential. Itās giving off a vibe of someone who only lives day to day, they canāt think too far ahead or plan for things in advance. All that exists to them is what is right in front of them.
The Higher Self, which would connect to the soul, is in an odd state, but itās reflecting what was coming through with the guideline. The Earthworm, upright and reversed, is described as being quite shy, insecure, or hesitant to a degree. Itās aware of its size and position as someone that lives in the dirt. In reverse, however, the insecurity becomes much stronger along with a level of anxiety that causes someone to hesitate or completely back out of something they are trying to do. I was seeing the yellow color that the worm is curled around reflecting in the dream of The Fool. The soul wants to move toward that, but doesnāt feel strong enough or supported enough to be able to do it.
If the soul was in a better position, Iām pretty sure something like the Golden Egg or another higher up card would come out here. This set is supposed to show what the Higher Self is attempting to push down into the core in order to support the progression of the current phase or to initiate a new one. Here, itās like the worm is attempting to keep the yellow color from dropping down, almost like the soul is attempting to hold onto a dream in order for it to not be proven impossible. The fear of defeat is stronger than the fear of dying out, and something about that feels like an echo of the Ego itself. Very strange.
WATER ALIGNMENT: BEAVER ā WATER (REV.)
The Water Alignment is the center of the emotional, creative, and intuitive aspects of a person, and here Taehyung has the Beaver in reverse. When upright, the Beaver is quite active and operates every day with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. In reverse, itās described as feeling useless and exhausted. It feels like this center is burnt out or running on fumes, which again brings me back to the idea of the Egoās attempt to dry up the Water in past states, trying to dry out the emotional space specifically. On a more conscious level, this feels connected to genuine emotional burn out that came from extreme emotional upsets that were suppressed and dealt with alone, or in a more filtered way.
This space feels very quiet in general, thereās not a lot of stimulation here.
FIRE ALIGNMENT: DRAGON ā SPIRIT
ASSOCIATED CHAKRA: SOLAR PLEXUS
Not surprisingly, here in the Fire Alignment, Taehyung has the Dragon. Typically, getting a Spirit card in an alignment would suggest that this element is in sync with the soul or Higher Self, but obviously, thatās not whatās being shown here. This is just expressing the amplification beyond the capacity of Fire energy in general. This is connecting back to all of that Aries/Cardinal/Fire energy in the guideline and is reflecting the Ego. This is the space that the Ego likes the best, itās more superficial and acts as a filter between the Water Alignment and the external alignments, Earth and Air, which connect Taehyung to the outside world. The Fire Alignment, or the Ego in general, keeps things from going into the Water Alignment and keeps things from coming out.
Rather than looking at this as a Spirit card, itās better to think of this as just a dragon, or any kind of reptile that requires an excessive amount of heat in order to survive.
EARTH ALIGNMENT: BEAR ā EARTH
The Earth Alignment shows a personās connection to the outside world, their environment, as well as their connection to themselves or their self-perception. Here, Taehyung has the Bear, which is the very first card in the deck, making it the least developed energy overall. On its own, it references the point in which a bear comes out of hibernation, when itās just starting to wake up and move around. Thereās a nice sense of things being refreshed, but there is a kind of sluggishness to it that feels connected back to the exhaustion of the Water Alignment. Thereās kind of a depressive numbness. Heās there but heās not, but heās not uncomfortable with it.
I think this is probably lining up with him coming out of the military and either not feeling as excited as he thought he would, or being quite excited but just not being able to show it. Thereās something here about him just being too tired to keep up with the space or keep up with what the others are saying or doing. Itās a little confusing, thereās brain fog involved here in some capacity.
AIR ALIGNMENT: OCTOPUS ā WATER (REV.)
Lastly, here in his Air Alignment, he has the Octopus in reverse. This would be an extension of that brain fog as when Water is creating a negative influence within the Air Alignment, which connects to the conscious level thought process and manner of communication, it typically suggests some sort of conflict between the emotional space and the more clinical thought space. In reverse, the Octopus is described as clingy, needy, and lacking courage. Iām seeing this more as bouncing off of the Bear and the Beaver in the sense of there being a level of exhaustion there where either mentally or physically, he would literally need to lean on others, or would rely on others to guide the conversation as thereās too much of a limit to his own energy that he may be trying to hold onto.
The Octopus, especially with the colors on the head, is making me think that heāll have a lot to say, a lot that heās feeling, but heāll find it hard to get the words out to properly express himself. Thereās a level of disconnect from the environment and people shown between his Earth and Air Alignments.
MAIN READING WITH SPRINKLES
Starting with the core state of the reversed Owl, Taehyung has four Sprinkles over this card that say, āobjects that canāt be named,ā āare we talking?ā āManner + Tone,ā and āguiding light.ā This again is giving me this odd but very prevalent feeling of him being very disconnected from things around him. The āobjects that canāt be namedā Sprinkle came out for one of Jiminās readings, referencing dehumanization and a certain level of separation from oneās identity. This is how Iām seeing this here as well, giving the feeling of the Owlās reversal not just being a blindness to things on the outside, but a blindness to the self as well.
This overall disconnect is projected outward with the other three Sprinkles that suggest a limited level of engagement that he would be aware of to some extent, kind of like when someone is talking and the other person zones out for a bit and then pops back in with āwait, what were you saying?ā
Following that, āManner + Toneā and āguiding light,ā feel like necessary reference points or notes, like a lot of effort being put into trying to keep up or trying to keep track of what is going on. There could, in general, just be a bit of an overwhelmed feeling with everyone being back together or being in direct contact with fans/public. Thereās just something here about him needing to look outward, look at someone else in order to be able to keep up with a conversation. He really could just be very tired.
Over the Earthworm card, connecting to the soul, there is āhow can I do that?ā with a direct response of āindependently and together.ā This was connecting back to the dream of The Fool and the overall process of healing the layers of consciousness for Taehyung. This card is also marked with āremember this,ā which I was seeing connected back to the higher input of "rebirth is pendingā¦ā Itās that much higher source saying that this can be done through the effort of the soul on its own because there is higher support at play, itās just not the kind of support that is āhands onā like it's used to with assistance from Guides or the other souls.
Over the reversed Beaver in the Water Alignment there is āChiron,ā āthings didnāt go right,ā āout of the blue,ā ācrying parents,ā āthis wonāt make you happy,ā and āthoughtful expression.ā Chiron is highlighting an element of open wounds, things that werenāt healed properly, which seem to be connecting to what I was seeing being repressed and majorly filtered over the years. This is connected to the family with ācrying parentsā and something that was sudden or āout of the blue.ā I canāt elaborate on it much, but it is connected to a loss in the family.
āThis wonāt make you happy,ā alongside "thoughtful expressionā is a note from the soul, literally as if it was left on a sticky note years ago for the Ego or the conscious level Taehyung to find. Itās a reminder that suppressing and hiding from those emotions wonāt make them go away. Expressing those feelings, speaking with people you love and trust, seeking that support is what would help lighten the load and allow things to flow better toward proper healing.
The only Sprinkle over the Dragon, which represents the Ego and the over-amplification of Fire energy, says, āyou are better than this.ā Despite the strong and powerful image the Dragon can conjure, this is a very low state of being, one that Taehyung, truly, is better than and desperately needs to move away from.
Over the Bear in the Earth Alignment is āVesta,ā which was bringing to mind the idea of āwaking up with the sun.ā Itās such a specific thing, but Vestaās connection to passion and personal inspiration felt like a cup of coffee being presented to the Bear, as if having something of personal inspiration, something to focus on that was purely for his own joy would help Taehyung ground into the space a bit better and not have that foggy or disconnected feeling. That may go into the Owl as well, the blindness lending to being unable to see things that are of personal inspiration or desire, thus creating that hollow or lacking feeling that could contribute to that numbness.
On the outside of the Bear, seeming to go again toward that mysterious higher influence that keeps popping its head in, there is āthanks for calling!ā ālifetimes on file,ā and āwaiting in lineā¦ā This feels like itās referencing the idea of the soul calling the higher-ups and ordering a new lifetime, ordering a new blueprint, but one that would reset everything. Itās going right back to that ārebirth is pending.ā
Between the Bear and the Octopus there is a prompt to āconsult the Guardian Tarot.ā With this, he got the Two of Wands, which in this deck has an interesting description, which seemed to go back to the potential of the soul attempting to āorder a new lifetime.ā The description encourages the individual to think about their plans and how they could affect other people. The more traditional meaning of this card is purely about long and short-term planning for your future as an individual. As this sits between the Earth and Air Alignment, thereās some kind of urging for second-guessing.
There is a possibility that itās not the soul thatās requesting a new lifetime, it could be Taehyung himself on a conscious level. This could suggest a lot of things, some quite concerning and others comforting, but either way, no matter the source of the request or the intention behind it, heās being asked to second guess this request and possibly take it back.
Over the Octopus in the Air Alignment, he has āa clean cut,ā āwater is boiling,ā and āshow yourself.ā The āwater is boilingā stood out to me right away with the aspect of mental fog. The excess Fire energy moving through the system, attempting to burn off Water or emotional and creative aspects, would generate steam which would register as Air, or that mental fog. With āa clean cut,ā and āshow yourself,ā sitting on either side of that, it feels like a push to literally cut through the fog, blow off some of that steam, vent, rant, express something through the Air Element in order to get things moving. With the potential of him having a hard time speaking or finding his words, thereās a chance that this pressure is building up inside of him and thatās whatās causing the exhaustion, confusion, and numbness overall.
Thatās all I have for this one, thanks for reading! :)
XXXX
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The Elemental Alignment of Kim Taehyung (Part 3) Post
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The amount of times I got jumped and misgendered just for defending Tae and his friendship between Jk and Jimin, is honestly one of the main reasons I never left this space
I keep expressing over and over and over again how important it is to see the guys as people and not as an idea of them
This entire reading made me cry
People donāt deserve Tae, and they most certainly donāt deserve Jimin, and they for sure donāt fucking deserve Jungkook
Yāall let shippers completely deprive you of thinking for yourself and actually giving Taehyung a chance. He deserves love, why is that so hard for people to accept?.
He is NOT an extension of his fucked up shippers, and I really wish yāall would wake the fuck up
Okay so I've seen a couple of posts calling Percabeth Elizabeth and Darcy variants and YES, 100%. BUT, i need you to understand that Annabeth is Darcy and Percy is Elizabeth. Let me explain.
Annabeth is, in many ways, higher ranking among demigods than Percy. She has social standing, reputation, and a much more in depth understanding of the rules they are living by. So far, so Darcy, right? The parallels don't stop there.
Annabeth is initially against Percy, not because of him, but because of his father. They get off on the wrong foot, and Annabeth resents her own inclination to be friends with him, to some extent. Her fatal flaw is hubris and she honestly does know that she is better than many of her peers. She's also extremely kind and tends to try and shoulder the burdens on her own because she thinks that will protect people she cares about (in my head, Annabeth not telling Percy about the prophecy in the hope it will avoid some Oedipus-style self fulfillment = Darcy not telling Elizabeth about helping Lydia).
Now onto Percy. Percy is Elizabeth to the letter. He's the underdog, has a poor reputation, and a whole lot of sass for people he thinks are acting superior. He bristles at Annabeth to start with because she's blunt, and prideful, but ultimately sees her vulnerabilities too. He tends to be cynical thanks to his past experience, but he also believes in the goodness of people, just like Elizabeth. He's extremely contrary when Annabeth is concerned and his comfort blanket is called denial. Seeing the similarities?
Then, they finally get past all the miscommunication and become the best friends + power couple we know and love thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.
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Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.
after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.
annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.
let's start off with the lost hero
when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.
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this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.
both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ālookā in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.
They were both said to be āstudyingā each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.
they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.
we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.
moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.
jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ādeadā, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.
while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.
and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.
annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.
whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.
annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.
they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.
fatal flaws:
annabethās fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.
and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.
as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.
she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.
and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote
[āNo, no,ā Jason said. āI made my choice. Youāre not to blame. You donāt owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember whatās important.ā āYouāre important,ā I said. āYour life!āJason tilted his head. āI meanā¦ sure. But if a hero isnāt ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?āHe weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandosā¦ even a godā- Tower of Nero]
which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the āleadā particularly.
jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldierās standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].
both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.
annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)
they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ābad copā with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.
speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.
this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.
I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!
Athena, goddess of wisdom, and all-powerful, being the only person that Annabeth could call on for help; being so cruel that she would be complicit in her daughter's death just out of spite.
Percy, age 12, weak and dying, having told Annabeth they could never be friends; not only sacrifices himself to save Annabeth's life without a minute's thought, but does it without her having to ask for help.
One thing which genuinely bothers me is Annabeth's perception in the fandom. How she's seen as this cold, stoic, emotionless, reserved and intimidating girl. When in reality, she's a character full of love.
Annabeth, who immediately cried and felt attached to Cerberus after playing with him for a few minutes because she wouldn't get to play with him again.
Annabeth, whose deepest desire, which the Sirens lured her with, is saving Luke and having a good relationship with both her parents.
Annabeth, who believed in Luke's goodness, even after all the countless terrible things he did simply because she had faith in his humanity.
Annabeth, who cried in Percy's arms before entering the labyrinth and refused to reveal the last line of the prophecy because it said to lose a love worse than death and the idea of losing any of her friends is too painful, heartbreaking and worse than dying.
Annabeth, who kissed Percy before parting with him in St. Helens because if he's going to die, she at least wants him to die knowing she loved him.
Annabeth, who took a poisoned knife for Percy during the war because she'd rather die herself than let him die.
Annabeth, who convinced Luke to switch sides by reminding him of the promise of family he gave her. Which in turn, influenced Luke's decision to end himself to destroy Kronos. Hello, she saved the world with the power of love.
Annabeth, who spent months after months losing sleep and searching desperately for Percy when he went missing.
Annabeth, who kissed Percy to eternity in public at their reunion, not caring what anyone is going to say or think. An asteroid could've hit the earth, and she wouldn't have cared.
Annabeth, who told Percy āI love youā when falling in Tartarus because if she was going to die, she wanted them to be her last words.
Annabeth Chase is a sweetheart, who has always felt things deeply and she's so full of love. And I think it's time we let go of the ācold-hearted annabethā headcanon because it's not true, that's not her.
something i feel like we donāt talk about nearly enough is the fact that percy is healed by water.
itās so normal to us because itās one of the first abilities we discovered he has. and it makes complete sense. but likeā¦ heās the only demigod with that ability. jason doesnāt get healed by a gust of wind. hazel doesnāt get healed if she touches a diamond. nico doesnāt get healed if a skeleton gives him a hug. annabeth doesnāt get healed if she walks into a library.
like percy could be stabbed in the chest multiple times, he could break every bone in his body, he could be slammed in the head resulting in a crushed skull and hemorrhaging, but get him to some water fast enough and not only is he good as new in no time, but heās stronger and freshly rejuvenated.
itās insane when you think about it. no one else can do that. do you know how hard it is to kill percy? even if heās not near the ocean, he can be healed by rivers and lakes and streams and ponds and all sorts of water sources. water recharges him. it makes him immediately stronger.
thatās a huge reason why i argue percy is the most powerful demigod. yes, heās shown he has incredible super strength and super speed. yes, heās a legendary sword fighter - arguably the best one alive. yes, he has control over air, land, and sea. (deadly hurricanes with heavy winds and thunder and lightning, huge volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, etc.) yes, heās capable of mass destruction. yes he can single handedly cause natural disasters and mass casualties. and yes, heās capable of controlling peopleās bodily fluids, including their blood and saliva. he is terrifying
but even if someone manages to beat him, he dips one toe in some water and heās immediately healed and even stronger than before. whether the injury is internal and external. heās healed all on his own. no ambrosia or nectar or external remedies necessary.
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Friendly reminder that Percy jackson - our beloved silly adorable seaweed brain - is absolutely terrifying. When heās angry, when heās scared, when heās on edge - heās not warm and fuzzy.
No other character gets that reaction from people. Jason (the sweetie) is perceived as calm and in control, nico (our favorite self-outcasted outcast) is perceived as solemn and creepy, reyna (girlboss queen slay) is perceived as confident and assertive, and annabeth (our girl) is perceived as fierce, clever, and formidable. They are all intimidating to an extent.
But not like Percy. No. Becasue even when heās at ease, heās described as wild and disobedient. And when heās not at ease, even if just little bit, heās perceived as powerful, dangerous, and scary. Someone who NOBODY wants to mess with. Nobody even questions his power. One look from him has literal gangs running the other way. One look from him has Leo so scared that heās literally shaking, and feeling the same innate fright and alarm that he does when jason summons an ear-piercing, earth-shaking, deadly bolt of lighting.
likeā¦ HELLO??? can we all just sit on that for a moment?? good lord
One angry look from percy has people thinking one thing: Run.
Percy is, canonically, the character that people find the most frightening and intimidating.
And unless heās in a good mood - which you better hope he is - the reality is that most of us would be completely terrified of him if we met him.
idk about anyone else but I'M thinking about how selena, annabeth, and chris were each manipulated by luke because they were close to him and trusted him, and how beckendorf, percy, and clarisse each wanted nothing but the best for the person they loved, and tried their best to protect them through their trauma and pain, how even in the face of death, they only wanted each other, and only thought of each other.
so yeah, so happy beckengard never died and selena and beckendorf and clarisse and chris and percy and annabeth get to go on silly little triple dates and everyone gets to laugh at clarisse and percy daring each other to balance a spoon on their nose for two minutes
annabeth who has had every single important person in her life leave her in some way, whether intentional or not. her dad got his new wife and sons who she never truly clicked with, thalia died and then went to join the hunters not even a full year after coming back, luke betrayed her, her mother barely cares, even chiron isn't just her father figure, he has the entire camp to take care of, so she can't solely rely on him.
she has her siblings and the other kids at camp half-blood, sure, but she doesn't have anyone who knows her as well as she knows herself.
and then percy "fatal flaw is loyalty" jackson crashes into her life and destroys every single preconceived notion about love and friendship and kindness annabeth's ever known, and suddenly she has someone who can and will raze the entire world if anything bad so much as breathes near her.
she finds someone who does not hesitate to dive after her into choppy, dangerous waters to keep her from listening to the sirens. she finds someone who goes against every tradition the camp has, who goes against every rule about quests, and follows after the hunters, thalia, and grover after she's kidnapped. she finds someone who follows her into the labyrinth, who trusts her judgement at every single turn. she finds someone who stands over her and screams for every enemy not to touch her. she finds someone who looks at her like she's everything good and beautiful and perfect in the world. she finds someone who can never forget her, not even when a goddess messes with his memories.
she finds someone who loves her so fiercely and purely that it scares her, but she loves him just as much, and instead of going away, he holds on tightly, and gives her new people to cling onto, gives her a mother who holds her tightly in her arms, a father who banters and is delighted with her intelligence, a little sister who clings to her and idolizes her.
and percy?
percy who is told time and time again growing up that he is stupid, that he's nothing but a troublemaker. that he's a problem child. percy who literally only has his mother and grover in his life, who can barely make friends outside of them because of how other people perceive him. percy who has been so affected by the judgements and ctiticisms of people around him that he starts to believe them.
and annabeth "fatal flaw is hubris" chase comes into his life and tells him how smart he actually is, that his instincts and difficulty reading are there to help him fight, and because of that he realizes how good of a fighter he truly is.
he finds someone who recognizes his intelligence in a way no one else ever has outside of his mom. someone who believes in him and understands the way he thinks and actually listens to him without hesitation.
he finds someone who he trusts implicitly and who he can easily bounce ideas off of. someone who is honest with him and does not hesitate to be blunt exactly when he needs to hear the real issue.
he finds someone who is his match, and who is one of the only people in his life who is able to see him for who he really is without putting him down in any way. it's her perception of him that helps percy to grow through his years of being at camp and his years of fighting. it is annabeth's pride in him and her trust in him that helps percy grow. it is her steadfast knowledge that he's going to do the right thing that causes him to give the blade over to luke in the end.
annabeth is percy's anchor to the mortal world. it is her laughter and encouragement that reminds him to hold on when he's in the river styx. she is the only one he remembers because of her laughter and joy. even annabeth's nickname for percy of "seaweed brain" is clearly meant to be something soft and sweet and loving, which is why he is so affected when thalia calls him that. thalia called him that with intentions to hurt, to attack his intelligence, but annabeth has only ever called percy that with love and fondness.
percy and annabeth's fatal flaws being the exact thing the other needed, even before they became involved romantically. percy's loyalty and annabeth's pride being exactly what helps the other grow and love each other that much more.
The Ultimate Percy Jackson Characterization Masterpost
Because I have been talking about this for months and a lot of other people have too, but itās disjointed. I want to compile it, since his mischaracterization breaks my heart and makes me want to scream with rage. Please add if you think of something I didnāt! Iām also starting the tag ā#percy jackson defense squadā, so feel free to start dumping your salt and rage and theories and ideas in there because I wanna hear them!
Trigger warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts, sexual abuse, child abuse, and domestic violence.
Percy had a really, really rough childhood.
Percy was abused. A lot of people donāt realize the gravity of this maybe ācause we were young when we read it and itās written with sarcasm, and it has a Cinderella-story type vibe (not that Cinderella wasnāt also abused, but my point is, childrenās fiction commonly glosses over abuse). BUT LISTEN. Gabe is an alcoholic who regularly drinks in front of Percy (who is twelve), Gabe verbally demeans Percyās mother right in front of him, Gabe bullies Percy into funding his gambling, dumps beer bottles and cigar ashes all over Percyās room (HEāS FUCKING TWELVE), Gabe physically and probably sexually abused Sally for years, Percy literally says that he would rather live on the streets or join the military than live with Gabe, Gabe literally turned THE ENTIRE NATION against Percy and branded a completely innocent child as a fugitive just for fucking money and media attention.
Percy hates Gabe so much that he barely even sees him as a human being. He uses the three-fingered claw that is used TO WARD OFF IMMORTAL FORCES OF EVIL THAT COME FROM THE DEPTHS OF TARTARUS against Gabe (AND IT WORKS) because that is how much Gabe has traumatized him. Gabe makes him so angry and vengeful that at the age of twelve, Percy strategically plans to murder him (Percyās never killed a human being before or since).
Percy was physically abused.Ā He instinctively reaches for Riptide when he encounters Gabe at the end of the Lightning Thief, which is an instinct that he has when he feels physically threatened. And thereās this line about the gambling money from the beginning,Ā āHe called that ourĀ āguy secret.ā Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.ā This is written with heavy sarcasm, but I got news for you: itās a kids series, and this is too disturbing to just write flat out, but he is speaking literally.
@lililibird wrote a gorgeous post about how Percy was abused here
Percy also comes from a relatively poor background:Ā āWe were always struggling with money. Between my momās night classes and my private school tuition, we could never afford to do special stuff like shop for a skateboard.ā-Sea of Monsters. He hates kids who throw their money around:Ā āThey were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents.ā-Lightning Thief. Heās really insecure about it, too: āWhat I didnāt tell them was that Iād have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where Iād go to school in the fall.ā He feels like an outsider because of it: āMy heart sank. Grover had a summer home. Iād never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.ā
Percy was an outcast growing up, and never had a lot of friends. The education system is stacked against him because of his learning disabilities, and he probably faced a lot of ableism growing up. He thinks his neurodiversity makes him stupid and expects teachers and students to think so as well. When Chiron (as Mr. Brunner) tries to tell him that heās a special kid, he takes it as an insult because heās used to being singled out for his disabilities, and tears up, saying,Ā āThanks a lot, sir, for reminding me.ā -Lightning Thief
Percy also grew up thinking his father didnāt want him (which really isnāt all that untrue). When he first meets Poseidon, his emotions are absolutely hearbreaking: āWrongdoing.Ā A lump welled up in my throat. Was that all I was? A wrongdoing? The result of a godās mistake?ā
His authority issues and his heavy use of sarcasm are a direct result from his childhood. Sarcasm is a coping mechanism that he uses to avoid thinking of himself as a victim. Authority issues stem from growing up under this domineering stepfather, and also due to his birth father leaving him and his mother. This is why Percy hates Dionysus so intensely: Dionysus reminds him disturbingly of Gabe. Itās why heās so conflicted about helping the gods. It stays with him for all the books.
@jason-gracefully wrote a post hereĀ about how this abuse has a lasting impact on Percy that is really insightful
Percy thinks so badlyĀ of himself.
Percy literally hates himself. He doesnāt believe heās a half-blood because he thinks heās such a failure. He compares himself to Gabe because he feels so guilty,Ā ābetween the two of us, we make my momās life pretty hard.ā Heās constantly thinking stuff like, āWhat was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.ā -Lightning Thief
This self-hatred never fucking goes away, either, not even as Percy starts to pull of some pretty impressive shit?
āBut Percy didnāt feel powerful. The more heroic stuff he did, the more he realized how limited he was. He felt like a fraud. Iām not as great as you think, he wanted to warn his friends. His failures, like tonight, seemed to prove it. Maybe thatās why heād started to fear suffocation. It wasnāt so much drowning in the earth or the sea, but the feeling that he was sinking in too many expectations, literally getting in over his head.ā -Mark of Athena
He never thinks of himself as a hero and he hates the spotlight and gets embarrassed being the center of attention and is bad at taking compliments.
Most of his internal monologue is really pessimistic and heās constantly remarking that he said or did something stupid (literally too many examples to cite, but you canāt get very far without seeing it if you pick up a pjo book).
All Percy ever wanted was to be normal.
Thatās it. Thatās all.
Heās miserable after Poseidon claims him because heās finally found a place to fit in and no, of course not, heās the first son of Poseidon to be born in 70 years, Zeus is trying to kill him and thereās a prophecy about how heās going to decide the fate of the world.
He keeps going back into the mortal world even though itās dangerous, because he just wants to be normal.
He starts spending time with Rachel between Battle of the Labyrinth and Last Olympian because he mentions that he needs to remind himself the mortal world is still out there, and he just needs a break.
He turns down godhood, because he just wants to grow up. (people make this about Annabeth, and sheās part of it, but far from the only reason. The significance of this as far as percabeth goes is that he decided that he wanted her to be a partĀ of his future, but there was literally no way that Percy would have accepted godhood, Annabeth or no Annabeth.)
He literally starts crying when he gets to Camp Jupiter and realizes that, yet again, heāll be an outcast, despite not even remembering his past. Like, this need to be accepted and find a home runs so deep that it transcends memory.
So OF COURSE he starts crying again when he sees New Rome, because heās been searching for a safe home his entire life? Itās everything heās ever wanted?
NOBODY WILL JUST LET HIM BE NORMAL. JUST LET HIM LIVE.
Percy. Cannot. Forgive himself. For. Anything.
āNot forgiving himself for his mistakes was one of Percyās biggest talents.ā -Mark of Athena.
He feels guilty about the sacrifices his mom made for him, and is unable to accept that she did it because she loved him.
He blames himself for Biancaās death and actually says,Ā āIt shouldāve been me.ā Every time he looks at Nico he thinks of how he failed both of them and he spends the entire next book trying to make up for that.
He wiped Bobās memory because Bob was trying to kill him, and he was weak and injured and desperate to get away, so he acted in self-defense, but still feels ashamed and furious at himself for doing it:Ā āHeād never felt so low and dishonorable, so unworthy of having a friend.ā And then heās choking on poison in the heart of Tartarus, thinking itās his own fault forā¦. for not visiting a Titan who tried to kill him? (would you go visit someone who attempted to murderĀ you?Ā i wouldnāt.)
BOB TRIED TO KILL HIM. HE WAS TRYING TO RUN PERCY THROUGH. WITH A SPEAR. AND ITāS HIS OWN GODDAMN FAULT THAT HE GOT TOSSED INTO THE LETHE. Not to mention that Percy was already dying from a really bad shoulder wound, and acted in self defense the only way he had available to him, since he was too injured to fight. Percy barely escaped with his life. Percyās not a bad person at all for not visiting Bob, but he thinks he is, and you can hell bet heās never going to get over that, especially after Bobās sacrifice at the end of the book.
He blames himself for leaving Calypso as well? As though there was anything wrong with the way he treated her? As though they didnāt only know each other for two weeks? As though he wasnātĀ fourteenĀ and should not have been expected to spend the rest of his life pining for her? As though youāre a bad person if you donāt fall in love with someone whoās in love with you? As though he didnāt offer to come back and Calyspo told him not to try? As though he didnāt speak her name in the throne room of Olympus, as though he didnāt look Zeus in the eye and remember the name of Calypso, the poor girl cursed to solitude by the Fates who saved his life? As though Calypso wasnāt his biggest,Ā What if?
I pray that Leo and Calypso arenāt endgame because otherwise heās going to have to put up with that guilt for the rest of his life and itās completely unwarranted.
āāYou wouldāve done the same for me.ā It was true. I guess we both knew it. Still, I felt like somebody was poking my heart with a cold metal rod.ā -Last Olympian. Like listen, he straight up admits that he also would have taken a knife for her, but he stillĀ canāt accept that Annabeth took one for him.
whatever you do donāt think about percy mourning all the campers he couldnāt save whatever you do donāt think about himself shaking himself awake in the middle of the night crying because he canāt stop seeing the faces of all the kids who died in the war, whatever you do donāt think about him starting his life and thinking every time he does something new that there are kids who will never get this chance because he couldnāt save them, donāt think about him watching their shrouds burn and wishing it was him
Percy is suicidal and it goes completely unresolved.
āI felt like drowning myself. The only problem: I was immune to drowning.ā -The Lightning Thief
āThe last thing I remembered was sinking in a burning seaā¦ and wishing I were able to drown.ā -The Sea of Monsters
āHe couldnāt blame anyone else for his troubles. Not the gods. Not Bob. Not even Calypso, the girl heād left alone on that island.ā -The House of Hades. Listen to me. Heās dying in Tartarus alone after sacrificing years of his life to trying to save the world and being a good person, and he thinks he deserves it. HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT.
āThing is, as I was choking just now, I kept thinking: this is payback for Akhlys. The Fates are letting me die the same way I tried to kill that goddess. Andā¦ honestly, a part of me felt I deserved it.ā A PART OF ME FELT I DESERVED IT. Like. Percy. You need help. You canāt justā¦ thatās so unhealthy.
Percy is afraid of himself.
āI hadnāt been in control ofĀ myself in that mountain. Iād released so much energy Iād almost vaporizedĀ myself, drained all the life out of me. Now I found out Iād nearly destroyedĀ the Northwest U.S. and almost woken the most horrible monster everĀ imprisoned by the gods. Maybe I was too dangerous. Maybe it was safer forĀ my friends to think I was dead.ā -Battle of the Labyrinth. MAYBE I WAS TOO DANGEROUS. MAYBE IT WAS SAFER FOR MY FRIENDS TO THINK I WAS DEAD.
This also goes hand in hand with being suicidal, because thinking āmaybe everything would be better if I was deadā is definitely going to get you to the point where you say āmaybe Iāll just do it myself.ā
āMy expression in the picture was fierceādisturbing, evenāso it was hard to tell if I was the good guy or the bad guy, but Rachel said Iād looked just like that after the battle.ā -Last Olympian
āI might have even laughed once or twiceāa crazy laugh that scared me as much as it did my enemies.ā -Last Olympian
And like, of course thereās the part with Akhlys, and Iām sure I donāt have to explain how he spends the entirety of the next book trying to apologize for losing control just that one time because 1. he scared himself, 2. heāll never forgive himself for scaring Annabeth and hurting Akhlys that much, 3. and he also thinks this means he deserves to die, and that is just such a loaded character arc that Iām not even sure which heading to put it under, but Iām putting it under here because I think the linchpin in that scene is that Percy (and Annabeth) really didnāt realize that he was capable of something like that. Itās a really dark scene, and he disturbed himself (and Annabeth, which also puts a wedge in their relationship), and it causes really serious repercussions. Dude, that needs to be resolved.
Percy also like, really has a dark side and a serious temper, which is where a lot of this fear of himself comes from, but @ofswordsandpens already covered that beautifullyĀ here.
Other people are afraid of Percy.
āSomething changed in Phobosās expression. He looked surprised, maybe even nervous. āThe son of Poseidon? The one who made Dad angry?āā -Demigod Files (Percy Jackson and the Stolen Chariot)
āI couldnāt kill him. He was immortal. But you wouldnāt have known that from his expression. The fear god looked afraid.ā -Demigod Files (Percy Jackson and the Stolen Chariot)
āBelieve me, revenge is coming. One of these days, heās going to be sorry. Why am I waiting? Just strategy. Biding my time and waiting for the right moment to strike. I am not scared, okay? Anybody says different, Iāll rearrange their dental work.ā -Demigod Files (Interview with Clarisse LaRue, Daughter of Ares)
āLeoās legs trembled. The way Percy looked at him made him feel the same as when Jason summoned lightning. Leoās skin tingled, and every instinct in his body screamed, Duck!ā -Mark of Athena.This description is so Extra itās almost funnyĀ like I canāt believe this is actually a canon line sdkfasdjk;sadf
āPiper guessed that Percy hadnāt meant to cause so much damage, but his glowering expression made her want to leave the ship as soon as possible.ā -Blood of Olympus.
āSince sheād come back from Tartarus, Annabeth had told Piper about a lot of scary things that had happened down there. At the top of her list: Percy controlling a tide of poison and suffocating the goddess Akhlys.ā -Blood of Olympus. AT THE TOP OF HER LIST. AT THE TOP OF HER LIST.
Annabeth then goes on to cry about how she canāt get his expression out of her head, and says sheās angry at him for frightening her.
āWhat would Percy be like if he wanted to act scary?ā -Blood of Olympus. (we are still talking about the poison here. yes, still.)
āāShe died too easily, considering how much torture she put you through. She deserved worse.ā Annabeth couldnāt argue with that, but the hard edge in Percyās voice made her unsettled. Sheād never seen someone get so angry or vengeful on her behalf. It almost made her glad Arachne had died quickly.ā -House of Hades. I mean, I also thought Arachneās death was stupid so I donāt blame him, but.
āEverybody was looking at meāwith concern, or pity, or maybe a little fear.ā -Last Olympian
āSuddenly I realized that despite her angry attitude, she was afraid of me. She probably thought I was going to fight her for control of the river, and she was worried she would lose.ā -Battle of the Labyrinth
āāLuke feared you,ā the Titanās voice said. āHis jealously and hatred have been powerful tools. It has kept him obedient. For that I thank you.āā -Battle of the Labyrinth
ā I grabbed him by the shirt, which seriously wasnāt like me, but the stupid old goat was making me mad.ā -Last Olympian. This is when he literally frightens Leneus so bad that he runs away into the woods.
āHades swallowed. āNow, Jackson, listen hereā¦ā He was immortal. There was no way I could kill him, but gods can be wounded.ā -Last Olympian
āHow was he keeping his cool? The way he talked to Bob left Annabeth awestruckā¦ and maybe a little uneasy, too. If Percy had been serious about leaving the choice to Bob, then she didnāt like how much he trusted the Titan. If heād been manipulating Bob into making that choiceā¦ well, then, Annabeth was stunned that Percy could be so calculating.ā -House of Hades. Is she seriously kidding me with this though because how could she be stunned by thatā¦ which brings me to the next pointā¦.
Percy is incredibly manipulative, extremely clever, and very resourceful.
Canon doesnāt even represent this well, because it says stuff likeĀ ātrickery and evasion were Annabethās tactics,ā but Percy uses them constantly.
Most of the time when Percy does something āstupidā or āimpulsiveā itās actually neither of those things, itās just that he doesnāt take the time to explain things to everyone else. He has multilayered plans for how heās going to get out of a situation, but other characters (and fandom) seem to attribute this to luck.
If Percyās plans were genuinely stupid and impulsive there is no way he would still be alive. Just think about this realistically, okay. He doesnāt get lucky, he just knows what heās doing.
Percy has a functioning knowledge of Greek mythology that he uses to his advantage constantly, and actually, he directly explains most myths to the reader. For some reason (?) most of fandom thinks heās clueless. (just kidding, I know why, and @ehlihr explains it here)
Possibly the best example is Procrustes, who, at the age of twelve, Percy successfully swindled into laying down on his own torture device.
Gets into the Underworld on pure manipulation. Bribes Charon with Italian suits and a pay raise. Bribes Cerberus with a toy. Remember that scene where he dramatically stacks drachmas on top of each other right under Charonās nose? Yeah. This kid could talk his way out of a paper bag, mark my words.
Lies on national television convincingly enough that the reporters take up a collection to buy them plane tickets to New York at the end of the Lightning Thief. And also gives the phone number to Gabeās store and tells everyone to ask for free appliances.
Figures out Kronosā plot entirely by himself, which is quite complicated, then breaks it down for the reader, Annabeth, and Grover. I bet you didnāt even realize that the reason the plot of the Lightning Thief wasnāt hopelessly confusing was because Percy explained it to you.
Percy is the first person to realize that Kronos is waking (aside from Kronosā forces, of course). He predicts that heās going to gain a solid form again. He and Annabeth simultaneously reach this conclusion around the same time without discussing it with each other, but Annabeth doesnāt anticipate the gravity of the war the way Percy doesĀ (and the gods wonāt listen to him until literally the end of Titanās Curse).
In the Sea of Monsters, he guides one of the cannibals into breaking down the locker room door by standing in front of it and dodging out of the way at the last minute, because he needs to get his sword from the locker room.
Withholds the Gray Sisterās eye until they explain āthe location he seeksā and even rolls down the window and threatens to throw it into traffic.
That glorious scene where he manipulates Luke into giving himself away by IMāing Mr. D behind Lukeās back. Possibly my favorite Luke and Percy moment ever.
He also challenges Luke to a fight at the end of Sea of Monsters because he needs a way to buy time so that Clarisse can get the Fleece to Camp Half-Blood, and it works, because he backs Luke into a corner where heāll look weak if he turns down the fight.
Literally sneaks onto a quest. A quest which Zoe Nightshade, a Hunter and tracker, was on, and she didnāt even realize he was there until he literally ran up to her and showed himself.
Kills the Nemean Lion by throwing astronaut food from the gift shop in its mouth.
Percy is the one who figures out that Talos has a maintenance hatch that a person could fit inside. Otherwise they would have literally all died.
Convinces Nereus to jump into the water by feigning that heās afraid of going in water, and then uses his increased strength to tackle him.
Cleans Geryonās stables with a petrified sea shell.
Figures out how to navigate the Labyrinth.
And one of the greatest fight scenes in all the books (I think so, any way): jumps off Antaeusā face and grabs the chains of skulls hanging from the arena ceiling, ties them in a knot, hooks Antaeus by his loincloth and suspends him above the ground by a chain of skulls, and then kills him. Can you imagine him crawling through the chains, ālike some kind of deranged monkey.ā Like thatās dark, but itās also insanely resourceful and clever holy shit.
Percy made a bargain with Gaea using his own place in her creepy ass plan and in the prophecy to manipulate her into saving his life.
Gets the gryphons to stop attacking in Son of Neptune by threatening to stab their eggs.
Herds Polybotes over the boundary line so that Terminus will get angry and attack.
And, of course, the entire scene with Chrysaor is brilliant (and like the most in character moment for percy in all of hoo lmao).
Percy tries so hard to be a good person and he has such a good heart.
Remember after he saves Clarisseās butt in Sea of Monsters, and once they make it back to land, he feels bad about stealing her quest and making her look bad, and doesnāt want her to get into trouble with Ares, so he sends her home with the Fleece alone? Tyson even says: āPercy is niceā and Annabeth says āPercy is too nice.ā And then he never tells anybody about how she totally would have died if not for him and Annabeth because he doesnāt want to humiliate her?
And in the Demigod Files, when he encounters Phobos and Deimos with Clarisse and agrees again to keep quiet about it because he doesnāt want to humiliate her?
Percy searches for Nico all throughout Battle of The Labyrinth and never stops looking out for him, even when Nico curses him and wishes he was dead and repeatedly screws him over.
He forgives people? Like I know heās vengeful and I know itās hard to regain his trust, but he does forgive.Ā He doesnāt even think twice about forgiving any of the demigods who fought with Kronos because he understands where theyāre coming from and recognizes that theyāre just kids. He honors Luke and Ethanās dying requests despite the fact that they both tried to kill him about seven hundred times. He mourns them: āāThey were brainwashed!ā I said. āNow theyāre dead and Kronos is still alive. Thatās supposed to make me feel better?āā -The Last Olympian. And he completely and immediately backs Clarisse up in saying that Silena was a hero, and refuses to tell anyone that she was a spy. He also forgives Nico who, letās be honest, is such a little shitĀ in Battle of the Labyrinth.
Every time he realizes that heās done something wrong he immediately pulls back and modifies his behavior.
Remember the confrontation with the river nymph before cleaning the stables? āShe probably thought I was going to fight her for control of the river, and she was worried she would lose. The thought made me sad. I felt like a bully, a son of Poseidon throwing his weight around.ā -Battle of the Labyrinth.
Percy befriends Grover, who is scrawny and gets bullied, and spends all year trying to defend him from the bullies? He even says that heās lost sleep thinking about how Grover will survive school without him when he gets expelled from Yancy? Literally the reason the confrontation with Ms. Dodds even happens is because Percy was defending Grover.
Percy befriends Tyson, who, as far as he knows, is a homeless teenager with special needs who lives in a cardboard box and smells funny and cries a lot. He meets Tyson at the subway every morning so that Tyson wonāt get overwhelmed being by himself. He stands guard outside Tysonās stall so that Tyson can change in privacy. Like, Percy is so good to Tyson it breaks my heart? And he had no angle at all, he just genuinely likes Tyson and sees him as a friend. And he literally makes himself a social outcast by association; Matt Sloan even tells him,Ā āYou might have friends if you werenāt always sticking up for that freak.ā And Percy says,Ā āI was pretty much his only friend, which meant he was pretty much my only friend.ā
Heās captain of the other dodgeball team against Matt Sloan because all the other kids who get picked on look to him for protection.
His life is terrible and nothing ever works out the way he wants it to, but instead of being a whiny pissbaby about itĀ he just fuckingā¦. he just fucking keeps saving the world? He just keeps putting himself back in mortal danger despite hating it more and more each time becauseā¦ because itās what he has to do? He doesnāt take it out on anyone? He just fucking keeps accepting it? And he gets bitter and jaded, but he never stops saving the world.
He literally finds out in Last Olympian that the entire prophecy, this whole time, they were all waiting for his death? Like he was a ticking timebomb, raising him to be slaughtered and lying about it? AND HE NEVER EVEN GETS BITTER? HE DOESNāT TRY TO RUN AWAY OR BLAME ANYONE? hE JUST FUCKING? DOES WHAT HE HAS TO DO?
(wouldnāt you be angry about that? even annabeth lied about it to his face for years? wouldnāt that feel like a slap to the face? because iām pretty sure if the girl i loved did that to me i wouldnāt be able to accept it and would never look at her the same way? but maybe thatās just me?)
He snaps into Leader Mode in Last Olympian so quickly itās amazing. That character development is justā¦ gah, itās so good. People start depending on him without question and nobody even blinks when Chiron addresses him as the leader of the group, because itās just natural for them to follow him.
This piece by @llttledipper is gorgeous and covers a lot so Iām not even sure which heading to stick it under, but itās worth the read.
Percy is really compassionate and a caretaker.
Running with everything mentioned above, of course.
Checks in on Annabeth and makes sure sheās sleeping and eating.
Comforts Annabeth a lot during the pjo series because likeā¦ for the brunt of it, heās really all she has left, especially in Sea of Monsters.
Heās always very cautious about discussing Luke with her because he doesnāt want to upset her (but letās be honest: he was right and she was wrong about Luke. She was pretty delusional for most of the series and it actually got worse as she got older).
Percy only really yells at AnnabethĀ once. Which is pretty big of him, considering she yells at him practically once a chapter.
Apologizes to Reyna for something he doesnāt even remember. His exact words are,Ā āIf I hurt you, Iām sorry.ā
He wants to help Reyna so badly in Son of Neptune because he feels for her. Once, he even opts to leave her alone, because he recognizes that sheās having a hard time projecting the image of a leader and needs some time to herself.
He goes on the quest in Son of Neptune because he knows Frank is scared and needs help, even though he wants to stay put.
The way he treats Hazel and Frank all throughout Son of Neptune is so sweetĀ and brotherly. Especially the scene when he and Hazel are talking alone in her old house is so sweet, when he tells her that sheās definitely going to make it out alive, and the scene when he encourages Frank after killing the basilisks.
Heās constantly encouraging people to chase their dreams, like his motherās dream to be a writer and Annabethās dream to be an architect and Groverās dream to find Pan.
He wants to help Nico so badly, and heās a total mother hen.
He even takes care of the readers by editing scary and disturbing stuff out! I mean, I know itās because itās a kid series and itās convenient to water it down by having Percy edit stuff out, butĀ narration is important to pay attention to, because Percy is talking directly to the reader, which is the easiest and most obvious way to develop a character. The warning in the beginning has a veryĀ āplease save yourselfā kind of vibe. He admits more than once that heās not describing something because itās disturbing: the fresh skulls in Antaeusā arena, the tortures in the Fields of Punishment, etc.
And, like I said before, really has empathy for Kronosā kids and genuinely wants to save them from themselves.
Annabethās quote in Mark of Athena,Ā āPercy has a knack for making good friendsā is so unbelievably accurate (like 10/10 on that one Annabeth because you definitely get some other stuff pretty wrong lol.)
Percy is actually quite intuitive.
His dreams are the most prophetic of all the demigods that weāve seen.
Knows Luke is bad news right of the bat, but fights it, because he doesnāt understand why. (the foreshadowing is so BLATANT itās embarrassing to reread)
Immediately mistrustful of the gods, for good reason.
Immediately trustful of a lot of good people, like Grover and Chiron and Hazel and Frank and Tyson, even if he canāt always explain why.
If Percy doesnāt realize people like him, itās because he canāt imagine why, not because heās unable to pick up on the signs.
I donāt know where the idea came from that Percy was clueless that Annabeh liked him? Because he absolutely was not? He knew all through the end of Battle of the Labyrinth and all through Last Olympian, itās just that it wasnāt that simple. They had a lot to work through before they could throw romance into the mix (and I do mean a lot).
Heās also not oblivious that Annabeth is jealous of Rachel, itās just that heās mad about it because he thinks that she doesnāt have any right to be.
Heās not oblivious that Rachel likes him, either, itās just that heās not sure how he feels about it so consciously tries to avoid talking about it.
And as far as Nico goes, I mean, the majority of fandom was also oblivious about Nicoās crush and called it āTHE SICKEST PLOT TWIST EVERā so what makes yāall think youāve got any room to talk
As for Calypso, when she admits that she loves him, he literally says,Ā āButā¦Iām justā¦I mean, Iām just me,ā so I think that about proves my point.
Percy is angry.
Heās meant to directly parallel Luke, and thatās made pretty damn obvious by the end of pjo. And if it wasnāt, PercyĀ directly comparesĀ himself to Luke later on:
āPercy remembered what Luke Castellan had told him years ago, when Percy had come back from his very first quest:Ā Didnāt you realize how useless it all is? All the heroicsābeing pawns of the Olympians?Ā Percy was almost the same age now as Luke had been then. He could understand how Luke became so spiteful. In the past five years, Percy had been used as a pawn too many times. The Olympians seemed to take turns using him for their schemes. Maybe the gods were better than the Titans, or Gaea, but that didnāt make them good or wise. It didnāt make Percy like this stupid battle arena.ā -Mark of Athena
His anger motivates him most of the time. Percyās knee jerk response to all of the trauma that heās been through is to get angry (probably because it keeps him going).
Percy constantly talks about feeling angry, far more often than feeling sad or scared. This is so common that I couldnāt even cite one example, because itās just a theme through all the books. When he gets angry, he kills stuff (like the Minotaur, twice).
It really comes to a head in the scene with Akhlys, but again, goes totally unresolved because that kind of anger doesnāt just fucking evaporate (it also gets partially replaced with guilt, which is just. so unhealthy).
@lililibird, @ofswordsandpens and @accioangelo wrote something really cool about that here
Percy is definitely mentally ill.
Like yeah, heās neurodiverse, but heās also canonically mentally ill. Iām not sure what type of mental illness it would best fit, or maybe more than one, but thereās absolutely no way this kid is mentally healthy.
Heās suicidal.
He has insurmountable guilt.
Heās afraid of himself.
He hates himself.
Heās angry.
He develops a phobia of his own element and neverā¦ never resolves it? He talks about feeling āuncleanā after Phorcys aquarium and Annabeth notes how shaken up he looks, even the next day. He almost drowns two more times since itās brought up (Nyphaeum-whatever-itās-called and the Cocytus-however-you-spell-it) which means it probably got worse so Iām just gonna assume that he has a paralyzing fear of his own element? he also joined the swimteam which is literally like WHAT HOW WHY but iām trying not to turn this into a wankfest
And in that same vein, this fear of suffocation, like youāre a fraud and donāt deserve the people who love you or the recognition you get? Thatās super unhealthy. Itās important to accept peopleās love, but he hates himself so much that he canāt see that.
He has frequent nightmares. Like, not the weird voodoo demigod nightmares, like night terrors. Nightmares that donāt have dream messages attached to them, just straight up nightmares. Heās constantly saying stuff likeĀ āI still had nightmares about it.ā He mentions losing sleep because of it. The night when Bianca sends him the IM of Nico in the graveyard, he sits on the floor staring at the remains of the shattered water fountain all nightĀ and doesnāt move until Tyson gets him in the morning. Like, heās really affected by the things that heās seen. Also heās been having nightmares about Tartarus since the Lightning Thief so I can only imagine how hard itās going to be for him to recover from actually being there (theyāre actually quite vivid: one time, he has a conversation with Kronos on the edge of the pit of Chaos).
āHe glared at the poison flood encroaching from all sides. He concentrated so hard that something inside him cracked ā as if a crystal ball had shattered in his stomach.ā -House of Hades. He actually shattered a part of himself to be able to unlock that kind of power. And after Akhlys leaves he mentions it kinda starts to subside, but listen: broken glass doesnāt get fixed. He literally is admitting that heās broken inside. Not to mention that this kind of misery doesnāt just come from no where; this is the combined effort of all the terrible things heās been feeling his whole life. Thatās pretty horrifying, and someone should help him through that instead of making him feel like a monster for doing it.Ā itās actually almost identical to nicoās dilemma except that people actually try to help nico.
Suicidal thoughts, pervasive guilt, self-hatred, self-blame, self-distrust, frequent nightmares, developing a phobia, using anger as a coping mechanism. This sounds like depression to me (how I experience it, at any rate), possibly with symptoms of PTSD, although Iām not a psychiatrist. Even if it doesnāt fit a specific mental illness itās still a deeply unhealthy mental state to be in.Ā
Like listen: Percy needs help.
Percyās fatal flaw is so not a big deal.
Leaves his mother in the Underworld at the age of twelve. His mom. His mom, guys. Is there anyone he loves more on this earth, besides Annabeth? Heās twelve years old, and he comes to the understanding that he needs to let her go, leave her in mortal danger, because the fate of the world depends on him getting the bolt to Zeus, and, furthermore, that his mother would never accept his life in exchange for her own.
I mean, thatās really case closed right there, but thereās quite a bit more.
āI was leaving her in good hands after all. Her own.ā -Lightning Thief. This is right after his mother tells him āyou need to let me take care of myself.ā And he respects that so much that he actually leaves her with her abuser, which is really hard for him because he canāt bear to leave her in danger, but then he realizes that sheās capable of dealing with it and, more importantly, he lets her.
Encourages Grover to go off on an extremely dangerous solo quest to find Pan which no satyr has ever returned alive from, because he realizes that itās really important to Grover and doesnāt want to hold him back due to his own fears.
Encourages Tyson to go join Poseidonās forges because he recognizes that while he would like Tyson to stay, this is really important to Tyson.
Even in Titanās Curse he wants to immediately throw himself off the cliff searching for Annabeth and he doesnāt because thatās dumb and he understands that. And then he goes on the quest but itās likeā¦ everyone on that quest was looking for someone they loved so itās really not a good example of Percyās fatal flaw in action. Additionally, when Percy captures Nereus, his first instinct is to ask about Annabeth, but he doesnāt, because again: itās not the best choice, and he understands that, so he asks about the monster Artemis was tracking instead.
Splits up with Grover and Tyson in the Labyrinth because he knows that Grover needs to find Pan and itās really important to him. Annabeth is the one who keeps saying that splitting up is a bad idea because itās not safe.
His first instinct is always to take care of people but he never infringes on their rights to make their own choices, even when he doesnāt agree with them. He never holds anyone back from reaching their full potential and usually encourages them to go for it, even if it means they have to leave him behind.
It was really fucking hard for him to let Annabeth go searching for the Mark of Athena but he did it. He even recognizes that sheās terrified and doesnāt want to do it and she needs him to believe in her and so he fucking sends her off because he never wants to hold her back from doing all the amazing things that she can do. Iām crying.
@greenconverses explains this a little more in depthĀ here
Percyās never jeopardizedā¦ anything? because of his fatal flaw? And itās just kind of likeā¦ for something that is discussed so often itās really kind ofā¦ not important?
Most important of all: he lets Beckendorf die. He looks into his eyes, Beckendorf tells him to go, he protests, but Beckendorf doesnāt waver. And Percy lets it happen, because it needs to happen.
I mean. Like. COME ON.
Now, I mean, if he understands that Beckendorfās death is inevitable (mind you, Beckendorf was one of Percyās closest friends), and he understands that itās illogical to rescue his mother from the Underworld,Ā then I think itās safe to say that Percy understands and controls his fatal flaw. You could make the argument that maybe he wouldnāt if it was Annabeth. In which case, I say to you, thatās really not about fatal flaw, itās just about human beings.
Annabeth takes a knife for Percy, which makes it pretty damn obvious that sheās willing to die for him? Beckendorf, Silena, Thalia, and Leo actually do die for their friends? Like, a willingness to die in place of their friends is something we see in every single main character in this series, and most of the minor characters too.
The only moment you really see it get him in danger is Tartarus and Mt. St. Helens, but listen, is there any other member of the Seven that would have let go of Annabethās hand like be serious. Can you honestly believe any of them would have let her fall alone and pulled themselves out of the pit like thereās just no fucking way that would have happened. Frankly, how much would you have to hate someone to let them get dragged to hell to die alone.
As for Mt. St. Helens, I mean, honestly? This scene could have gone the other way around just as easily. In fact, Percy actually stood a chance and Annabeth didnāt, so it makes a lot of fucking sense that he should be the one to stay behind.
It doesnāt take away from anything Percyās done for his friends. In fact, it kinda makes it better because itās not overshadowed by the lurking threat of the Elusive Fatal Flaw.
Iām not saying itās not actually his fatal flaw, except thatā¦.. well, itās not, really, is it? Heās got a good handle on it, which pretty much tells me that itās not going to kill him any time soon, and more than that, itās not unique to Percy. Who doesnāt struggle with wanting to protect the people they love?
Maybe letās talk about Percyās rage instead because that is something that actually comes up very often and usually gets the better of him.
Percy is incredibly capable and really powerful.
and all yāall are definitely goingĀ ālol like we didnāt know thatā but listen: no, iām not sure that you did. and if you did then imma talk about it anyway because we donāt talk about it enough.
Percy spends just as much time saving Annabethās ass as she does his. Itās mutual. Their relationship is very balanced and I think itās cheap and stupid to try and make her look better by belittling him. Oddly, this tactic is used by a lot of characters in the series?Ā āI doubt Percy could find his way out of a paper bag without Annabethā like okay how about the part where she would have dove straight off a cliff in the house of night like lmao where the fuck does this argument come from.
Firstly, I must say that WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE CURSE OF ACHILLES ENOUGH but I could rant about it for literal hours, so Iāll just link you to where I did that already.
KILLS THE MINOTAUR AT THE AGE OF TWELVE BY RIPPING ITS OWN HORN OUT OF ITS SKULL AND STABBING HIM WITH IT. like. The Minotaur. THE MINOTAUR. Dāyou know that in the myths, the Minotaur just fucking ripped up entire towns and cities and killed hundreds of people and nobody could stop it, until finally they built the fucking Labyrinth to lock it up because nobody knew what to do with it, and then it was still alive for years because nobody could kill it, and like, the culmination of Theseusā entire hero career was killing this thing because thatās how fucking intense the Minotaur was. AND THEN PERCY JACKSON. TWELVE YEARS OLD. NOT A DAY OF TRAINING. NO WEAPON. JUST FUCKING. TAKES HIM DOWN. WHAT THE FUCK.
Kronos tells him that Luke is afraid of him.
Kronos also tells him that he wishes Percy had supplied his host body. Kronos is surveying bodies to possess and is like,Ā āI want that one.ā THE FUCK.
Jumps like, 120 yards off the House of Night and over the river Acheron????? With a person on his back?????? HOw????????? SINCE WHEN CAN HE FUCKING DO THAT???? (i will become FILLED WITH RAGE if anyone answers this with āheās got skillzā)
Remember when he tells the Roman Senate that he fought Kronos himself and Reyna stumbles back in shock and is like???? how????
Kills a giant alone. Like, completely alone, except for Terminus who really doesnāt do anything, itās just about the logistical need to have a god kill a giant.
Blows up a volcano and wakes Typhon. Like, wakes Typhon. And it wasnāt even on purpose! He was just being tortured and needed a way to escape like it was on pure instinct. And then when Hephaestus tells him so, heās literally like, āIām not that powerful.ā And Hephaestus just kinda laughs like UM YEAH YOU KIND OF ARE, LOOK AT WHAT YOU FUCKING DID, SON OF THE EARTHSHAKER INDEED.
Wipes out Hades entire army like, basically without even realizing it.
Literally holds back Kronosā entire army by himself. LIke, ALONE. A WHOLE ARMY.
āPart of their problem was Percy. He fought like a demon, whirling through the defendersā ranks in a completely unorthodox style, rolling under their feet, slashing with his sword instead of stabbing like a Roman would, whacking campers with the flat of his blade, and generally causing mass panic.ā -Son of Neptune. I love to think about this scene (these are the scenes that we need movies for, okay, think of how great this could be)
Kills the Clazmonian sow alone.
Holds off a drakon alone, although Clarisse is the one that kills it.
At the age of thirteen, he totally beats up Polyphemus, who is at least two times his size, just because he gets angry.
The first time he summons a hurricane he doesnāt even do it on purpose it just fucking happens instinctively. Groverās like ābro what are you doingā and heās like āwhat.ā LIKE PERCY. SERIOUSLY.
He blows stuff up when he gets angry??? Like the plumbing incident in boo? Thatās fucking intense okay like wow just one more reason for him to be afraid of himself
I saved this for last because this is my favorite: CONTROLS POISON. AND ALSO BODILY FLUIDS. I think we talk about the poison scene a lot but do you remember the part when Akhlys starts crying and heās like āOh, good, more water.ā āOH GOOD MORE WATERā LIKE JESUS PERCY. And then he imagines her nose and throat filling with her own tears like HOLY SHIT. thatās some bloodbending level shit right there.
Please tell me I was not the only person cheering during that scene okay because I was like THIS IS IT, HEāS FINALLY SNAPPED, LETāS GO MOTHERFUCKERS, like I have been waiting and waiting and hoping and hoping for a scene like that for years.Ā but annabeth ruined it because she clearly underestimated him like the signs were all there she should not have been surprised
Percy is not a lovable idiot.
Like, I mean, heās just not. Heās a hugely complex character with a lot of conflicting traits. Heās vengeful but caring, loyal but resentful, capable but insecure, a natural leader but intimidating and sometimes even scary.
Like yeah, heās got a sense of humor, but like???? That doesnāt cancel out any of the things I mentioned above.
Percy is also not an asshole.
In an attempt to get away from the ālovable idiotā fanon characterization, I think the pendulum swung too far the other way.
Percy is very compassionate, and very caring. He apologizes for his mistakes. Heās not cocky or arrogant in the slightest.
Yes, he can be intimidating and vengeful and once you break his trust you better look out, but that doesnāt cancel out his instinct to take care of people and his efforts to help people and his desire to be a good person.
Looking for more + References made in this post:
This post by @ofswordsandpens, with additions by @lililibird and @accioangelo (I have a special place in my heart for this post because it showed up miraculously on my dash from my main blog one day, and this is what convinced me to get back in this fandom because OTHER PEOPLE GET IT I COULD CRY)
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I once saw an opinion on how people complain that "ai" is unoriginal yet human beings technically are also unoriginal because every new concept is just an innovation of a thing/things we have seen.
someone on twitter is trying to claim that use of an em-dash is an indication of AI-generated writing because itās ārelatively rareā for actual humans to use it. skill issue
Also, if AI is using em-dashes it's using them because it was trained on work stolen from humans. Large language models do not spontaneously learn mysterious new puntuation.
I use em-dashes so much that some readers started complaining to me about it in the comments. I will never give up my beloved em-dash. AI will NEVER take it away from me.
