Today is the day. Today is ALWAYS the day.

i spent $32 on this fucking bowl at the moma and at first i felt bad buying it bc it was so expensive but ive had a terrible day today and every time i look at my lil bowl im like :o) you know what. i can get through anything with this bowl by my side

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

knives out is so good and it's good in a different way than glass onion but I think the difference in tone, even when it comes down to lighting and framing and color and dialogue, I think it all lends credence to the different messages and themes. idk I'm not being coherent. but the seriousness and overwhelmed feeling the crowded framing the claustrophobia the abundance of random shit all over the house the darkness of knives out melds with the themes of age and family and decisions and political views and the fake sincerity and the performative "we're all a family". but then the brightness the emptiness the space the white the glass of glass onion speaks to the simultaneous boring rich people minimalism and unnecessary material goods as a frivolous show of wealth and reflection and assumed complexity and lack of substance, the performance of their politics and the difference between their public personas versus the real, financial, motivations. the two way mirror. yknow?

Old money verses new money

there it is!

I find it absolutely hilarious that after playing the popularised sexy man “James Bond” for what feels like a millennium, Daniel Craig has only now reached tumblr sexy man status by playing a funky southern gay detective with a hubby that bakes sour bread. If this is not the most on brand tumblr thing I don’t know what is

i think it’s funny when someone acts really angry about something you say online. could be whatever. and you check their profile and go. oh wait. you’re literally 14. nevermind. talking about this with you is like 100% useless. and they go “my age has nothing to do with this” like actually your age has everything to do with this. when you are 14 literally everything is influenced by how fucking 14 years old you are.

this is going to sound like such a little sibling ass take but i genuinely believe that being a little bit annoying is actually a greater sign of maturity and self awareness than being universally likeable and on good terms with everyone

if some people find me annoying and can't stand me because of how i think and act then that means i'm a fully realized human being with my own personality and opinions and free will and not just a reflective surface for other people's desires, which is in fact a good thing despite what people who want you to just be a reflection of their own opinions and desires will tell you, and why being considered "cringe" or whatever doesn't bother me at all

also it's really funny when you're confident enough in yourself to know that people not liking you isn't always a sign that you're the problem. like there's something undeniably hilarious about being aware your mere existence has the power to piss someone off and ruin their day and i recommend embracing it.

Oh fucking thissss

i bought my idiot sons a new toy because they are my darling princes who deserve only the finest dangly feathers on sticks and tomas is as always being a chill lad about it but kaspar has absolutely lost his fucking mind. utterly convinced that some sort of unkillable demon bird has entered his home. the man has gone full liam neeson re: the dangly feathers. i wiggle the stick a bit and he goes totally black in the eyes, hisses, growls, acrobatic fuckin pirouettes off the handle this cat. absolutely twisted with terrible rage when the beast (cannot emphasize enough: some feathers on a string) does not stay dead. van helsing energy. this cat would fully be performing the monologue from the end of Moby Dick if he knew what English was. i eventually hid the toy because I was growing to fear what my boy had become and he scanned the fuckin skies for it for at least ten minutes, which is twenty times longer than I thought his memory even lasted.  this is a beast who will SCREAM for cuddles and insist on being kissed forty-seven times on his tiny head before even considering letting you get some work done but also, to each generation a Slayer is born, APPARENTLY

idk whats funnier: that tumblr got people to spend multiples of $7.99 to add fake verification checkmarks to their blog to ""make fun of"" twitter's latest fuckup, or that these checkmarks literally do not show up for mobile users and thats why i had no idea this amazing feat of opportunistic capitalism was even happening until just now