Another Redhead In the Rose Garden

Riddle + Floyd

Riddle glared up at his husband, the merfolk standing on the roof of their garage. That had actually become fairly normal since moving in — Floyd being fascinated by the idea of home upkeep for some reason (It was cleaning the gutters mostly.)

The reason he was glaring was the fact Floyd was standing on the roof with a painted pumpkin under one arm and their six-year-old child in the other.

Riddle folds his arms, unblinking as he questions, “What do you think you're doing with our son?”

“...” Floyd lifts Larimar slightly, “Oh, he's just hanging out. We're gonna drop this pumpkin off the roof and see how it splatters.”

“No!? You are not!?” Riddle yells, gesturing to the pristine asphalt of their driveway and the sidewalk, “You're going to make a mess of pumpkin innards all over the place.”

“Calm down, it's hollow-”

“Full of BLOOD AND GUTS!” Larimar squeals, slapping and trying to shove the pumpkin from Floyd's hand.

“...” Riddle raises a single eyebrow.

“Ugh, way to blow the surprise, guppy. Yeah, we wanted to see what it'd be like if someone fell off the roof. Lari thinks their head would explode, so we're testing it. All science-like; it's educational-”

“Drop it!” Riddle hisses, pointing at the two, “Drop it right now and come down from there! Both of you!”

Smiling, Floyd holds the pumpkin out farther, “Drop it~?” But Riddle's resulting screech makes him groan, “Calm down. Fine, here-” Floyd's expression balks, realizing a second too late he had just casually tossed Larimar instead of the pumpkin.

“Larimar!” Riddle all but screamed. He lunges, barely catching the giggling child in his arms before stumbling into their rose bushes.

…

Riddle stares up at his husband, Larimar still laughing on his chest, “Floyd. Come down here right now.”

“Nah, I think I'm safer up here…”

“You're not.”

Trey + Jade

“And this is a Purple Pansy Pollop.” Jade explains, plucking the dull purple mushroom with his bare hands, “Very rare for this time of year, but a common find in the Queendom mountains.

Icsac knelt beside the cluster, snapping a photo with his disposable camera, "Aren't those poisonous?”

“No, that would be a Purple Pandora Pollop. They only look similar, as the Pandora variety has a purple dusting on their caps.”

“Ah…” Icsac snaps a photo of the sky, looking around as he takes notice of how dark it was getting, “It'll be night soon.”

Jade chuckles, placing the mushroom into a container and putting his gloves back on, “Sunset is starting, so it'd be best we leave the mountain. Camera away and gloves on, Icsac, we'll have to do a little climbing on the way down.”

“Right!”

The trek down was routine as always, Jade for a moment annoyed that a bug must have bitten him if the tingle on his arm was anything to go by. It was on the last ‘climb’ before they returned to the hiking path, a small cuesta that Jade decided was too tall for Icsac to jump from so young. Using one arm, he anchored his son into slowly walking down the cliff to an acceptable height.

Jade’s eyes widen, his grip suddenly slacking as he watches Icsac drop down the remaining four feet and land hard on his butt. Icsac, a child, of course, started crying.

“Shhh. Shhh. There, there my fry. You're okay, you're okay.” Jade gently coos, quickly easing himself down the rocky surface as best he could as numbness spread up his arm. He takes only a moment to look into his bag, cursing under his breath as he sees the pale purple mushroom with two fingerprints on its surface.

Kneeling before Icsac, Jade used his still working arm to pull him up, “Shhh, shhhhhhhh.”

“You dropped me…” Icsac sniffles, betrayal heavy in his eyes.

“I did. I apologize. Turns out I was wrong, that was a Purple Pandora Pollop.” Pressing a kiss to the teary boy's forehead, Jade ruffles his hair, “Don't tell your papa and I'll let you drive us down the mountain.”

Icsac pouts, following behind his dad, “Do I gotta drive you to the hospital again…?”

“It might be for the best.”

Cater + Idia

Photographing a cupcake shouldn't be this hard.

Though in his defense, it was multiple cupcakes and it was for a stupid brand deal that he made an entire video for that he refused to scrap. But after the twelfth round of photos, they still didn't look right to him.

He hums, sighing and moving the photos to his ‘to delete’ folder, “Okay, Hera, let's try one more time. Maybe change up the placement and do some more filter work.”

The tablet in hand briefly pinged, a single emoji taking over the screen.

'🤬'

“Don't you give me attitude, missy. One more round, and if they still don't look good, then I'll let you and your siblings have the unedited pics to play around with, okay?”

'😒'

The tablet pings again before showing him the camera function again.

“Thank you~.”

Twenty minutes later, Cater groans, frustration hitting a peak as the thirteenth round somehow looked the worst. He throws his head back in his chair, arms swinging up and letting the tablet drop from his hands to press them to his face-

“Ow!”

“...” Cater turns around, eyes wide at the teary-eyed emoji taking up the screen. As it turns into an angry, teary pout emote, he frantically scoops the tablet into his hands, “Oh! Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry!”

“You dropped me!”

“I'm sorry! I forgot-”

“You forgot me!?”

“Honey, it's been a long day; cut me some slack.” Cater groans, holding the tablet close and pressing kisses over its lightly scuffed edges, “Papa is so sorry.”

“I have a concussion!”

“Well, let's not go that far.”

“I'm gonna get brain damage!”

“You don't have — okay.” Cater huffs, holding the tablet to his face and raising an eyebrow, “If you're fine, I'll get you that new premium tablet cover you keep sending mama.”

The progressively distressed emojis stop, “I'm fine.”

'😊'

“That's what I thought.” Cater chuckles, patting the tablet to his chest, “Little extortionist…”

Ace + Deuce + Jack + Epel

“Which one of you fuckers dropped my damn baby?” Epel all but growled, Beni in his arms with a barely visible knot on his forehead.

Jack quickly looked over from the kitchen, ears perked, “He hit his head?”

“No. One of y'all dropped him!”

Ace smiles, rolling his eyes and going back to his book, “What did he tell you he got dropped?”

“Yeah, actually.”

…

Epel glared harder at the now sheepish group, “Who did it?”

Deuce cleared his throat, “Okay, what did he say?”

“He walked up to me and pointed at his little busted head, saying, ‘Mama, dropped’.”

“That could be he fell and didn't know how else to say it!”

Jack points his gaze to the redhead, “You're weirdly defensive, Ace.”

Deuce follows suit, “Suspicious.”

“What's suspicious is how quick you two ganged up on me!” 

“Is this normal yelling, or ‘my school counselor gonna win the divorce bet’ yelling?” Russell asks, coming back inside for the backyard.

Jack huffed, “I'm calling that damn school again.”

“The principal’s in on it too. What's going on?”

“Someone dropped your brother, and they won't fess up.”

“...” Russell chuckles, tapping his forehead, “If you mean Beni’s goose egg, that happened from an acorn.”

…

“Pardon?”

“Yeah, he was hanging around while I was doing mah yard chores, and I saw it happen. He went running back inside pretty quiet, so I assumed he was okay.”

“...” Epel pulled a face before sighing, “Yeah…yeah, that makes sense. Sorry y'all.”

Deuce smiles, shaking his head, “We understand. Lord knows how we all were when Russell first knocked his head into a table leg…”

“I'm gonna get a towel on his head. Come on, Beni boy…” Epel takes the confused-looking toddler out of the room, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“...” Ace looks to his son, “You dropped your brother.”

“It was…an accident.”

“Don't do it again.” Jack grunts.

“Look, you all should be happy I'm teaching him to lie by omission so early.” Russell snips back, grumbling all the way back to his room.

Leona + Ruggie

"You ever think about the fact we've never dropped him?”

Leona cracks open an eye, lounging on their bed with a snoozing five-year-old on his chest, “What are you talking about?”

Ruggie shrugs from his place lying beside the two, playing with the sleeping little lion’s flicking tail, “I mean, the fact Azizi has a perfect track record. Like we're not just dropping the kids normally, but accidents happen, you know?”

“Yeah, what are you talking about? We've dropped him plenty of times.”

“I — ” Ruggie pulls a face, eyebrows creased, “Name one time we've ever dropped this little fucker?”

“Just yesterday, he got dropped in the pool; we're lucky he knew how to swim.”

“...Yeah? We were doing swim lessons? I didn't drop him! He wanted to get thrown in the pool; that doesn't count!”

Leona clicks his tongue, a hand pressing over Azizi's head as his little ears fold down, “Pipe down, he's sleeping for once.”

“‘For once’ he says. Like he isn't the main one asleep in this house after you…” Ruggie mumbles.

Tilting his head, Leona continues, “Dropped him down the stairs.”

“We did not drop him down the stairs — are you talking about the kids surfing the old mattresses down the stairs? Because one: no, they shouldn't be doing that anyway. Two: that's not us dropping him?”

“Got dropped his first day in the house on the way over.”

“What are you — ...” Ruggie narrows his eyes, pushing himself up and into his smug husband's face, “You brought him home alone; I didn't even know he was mine until you dropped him in my hands.”

“...”

Eyes widening, Ruggie connected several dots, “By the Design, Leona! How many times have you dropped this kid!?”

“How many times have you?”

“None!?”

“Same.”

“LEONA!”

Azul

Azul hadn't felt this tired on land since it was his time walking. A disaster of an ingredient shipment in his mother's restaurant, the elder Cecaelia calling him to help, took nearly an entire week of continuous work to put everything back in order. The only plus of the exhausting week was that his darling pearl had the mind to pick him up from the water, their daughters in tow. She carried him into the house, all but dropping him onto the sofa before telling him to sleep while she had a shower.

And he nearly slipped into that long unhad bliss before a small hand smacks against his thigh.

“Daddy, hungry. Hungry.” Charysa calls, pouting up at her father as he lies boneless on the couch.

Scylar pouts beside her, pointing to the clock on the wall, “Lunchtime…”

“Hm?” He glances at the clock, seeing it nearly an hour after their normal lunch time, “Oh yes, of course. You girls must be hungry. Right. One moment…” he barely manages to get off the couch, eyes droopy as he shuffled toward the kitchen with two happy octotoddlers behind him.

He moves on muscle memory, gathering up ingredients for a quick pasta dish that should be ready by the time Yuu is out of the shower. but, nearly half an hour later, he stands at the stove looking at the pot of water that for some reason hasn't boiled.

A tug on his sleeve makes him look down at Scylar, big dark blue eyes blinking up at him as she makes grabby hands toward him. 

He smiles, picking her up to his hip. “Yes, my lovely fry, what is it?”

The toddler doesn't speak, leaning over and clicking the flame of the stove on.

“...” Azul sighs, nodding his head at the mistake, “I see. Go play with your sister.” He says, holding Scylar out for her to swim off.

Yuu walks into the kitchen, toweling her hair. “Azul, we need to grab — You're not in the water. YOU'RE NOT IN THE WATER!”

Azul's eyes widen, just managing to regrip Skylar under her arms before she fell, the three-year-old in question tilting her head as though to say ‘What was that?’

Yuu rushed over, pulling the toddler from his stunned hands and guiding him away from the stove, “Ok, it's time for someone to take a nap.”

The twins both perk up, tugging on Yuu's clothes, “Nap! We wanna nap!”

“Perfect, you two can make sure daddy naps.”

Kalim

“Why are there straps on this?”

Kalim and Zayan sat on the stone floor of the newly empty guest room, a parade of unassembled baby furniture scattered around them while Zayan* had Ruby strapped to his chest. The tiger beast men raised an eyebrow, the pad of the changing table they were building in hand.

“Don't give me that look. Having straps on a changing table is strange!” Kalim huffs, lightly tossing the instructions away, “Let's put it together without them.”

The beastman frowns, making an X over his chest and Ruby with his arms.

“You can't fault me for not wanting them! I've never seen a changing table with belts on it. I'd feel like I'm strapping her down and doing something bad to her!”

Zayan sighs, looking to the side as though to state he’s never seen a changing table, period. The Asim compound didn't ‘need’ changing tables, as no surface was considered too good for an Asim baby butt.

Waving off his attendant’s expression, Kalim laughs, “Oh, don't worry so much. Here, put it together and I'll show you.” He plucks Ruby from the chest holder, cooing as he gently played with her snow white tiger ears and curious little hands.

Finishing the table fast, Zayan nervously held onto the excluded straps to the side of it. Kalim places Ruby on the changing table, the two of them watching the baby wiggle and feel out the new surface.

Laughing, Kalim gestures to the baby, “Now see? No straps needed — ”

Ruby rolls, going over the side in a single second. Two sets of hands catching her in half the time.

…

Zayan gives a strained look to his employer, slowly maneuvering Ruby back into his chest holder.

“...” Kalim grabs the straps from Zayan, laughing nervously, “Okay, maybe we need the straps.”

Jamil

Yuu's first misstep was questioning Jamil's parenting. As he had been a caregiver since he was seven, he claimed she had no reason to question him. She stated that wasn't an answer to why she had yet to see him put their son down.

He didn't fight her on the fact that JJ had been almost always firmly strapped to his person since infancy, even though he was coming up on six months. So he simply proposed she watch him alone for the day while he had some personal time. She can see the survival instincts of their son.

After his day, alone with his thoughts and the masses, Jamil leaned against the doorway with a smirk. Yuu was slumped on the couch, a babbling JJ laying across her stomach. He took notice of the living room, the coffee table moved from it’s normal place and pressed top surface to the wall, every blanket in the house spread along the floor and pillows aggressively ducttaped to whatever corner she couldn’t move aside. He clears his throat, head tilting in silent question.

Looking up, Yuu heaves a loud sigh before sending a smile his way, “Hi, honey. How was your day out?”

“It went well. I got coffee, took a walk through the park, and browsed a book fair in town. I even had time to go grocery shopping alone for once.” His smirk turns downright malicious, “How was yours?”

“Why does he want to kill himself?”

“I told you he was difficult.”

“Ok, yeah!” She gestures to their cooing baby, “But we can't just have him swaddled 24/7; he'll never learn to walk at this point.”

Jamil huffs, hating to admit she was right but saying nothing else, “Put him on the blankets and help me bring in the shopping.”

“Got it…”

Yuu places JJ on the ground, knowing the baby was safe to lie on his front. Or he should have been. Seeing how the moment Yuu's hands left his body, he slammed his forehead into the ground. A dull thud ringing out before JJ lifts his head and starts wailing.

“Buddy!?”

Jamil sighs, barely keeping his laughter in check, “Just go get the groceries; I'll handle him.”

Plucking the crying baby from the ground, he sighs again as he pats JJ on the back, “I can't tell if I was this shit at living as a baby or if this is from your mother…”

Vil + Rook

“He's going to fall…” Vil grumbles, staring out the kitchen window with an intense gaze.

Rook smiles, nursing his coffee before walking over to his lover's side. Looking out, he could only smile wider at seeing Finley climbing a tree at the edge of his playyard, “He seems to be doing just fine.”

Clicking his tongue, Vil spared a single glare toward Rook before turning his focus back to the blonde darling halfway up a trimmed spruce, “He's going to fall and break every bone in his little body.”

“I highly doubt that, my dear.”

“You don’t know that! He’s never fallen more than a foot; his bones could be fragile!”

Rook sighs lovingly, a hand to his chest and the other grazing his husbands face, “Oh, only you could craft a precious being of glass bones and paper skin.”

“...” Vil gives Rook his full attention, glaring at the teasing man, “I will have you know that that is an actual medical condition and you’re. Not. Funny.”

Chuckling, Rook places a hand on Vil’s hip, pulling the star closer to him, “Mon Roi, have you never climbed a tree before? As the boy's father — And veteran climber of many a surface — I can assure you, he is doing just fine —”

Finley's shrill scream makes both of them turn to the window, just in time to watch their child drop from the tree. Somehow managing to miss the fence separating the flat green from Vil’s sunken yoga area, he falls a whole floor level. Luckily, the boy seemed only dazed, staring up to the sky from the shrubs lining the meditation pool below.

“My baby!” Vil screams, sprinting out of the kitchen and rushing down the stairs with Rook close behind.

“He is fine! I'm sure he's fine-”

“You shut your mouth! You dropped my baby!”

Malleus

While Malleus didn't care for paperwork, he knew he had to do it — no matter how much his children pouted and whined for him to play with them.

Sighing, he spared a glance at the stubborn kitten-sized dragon still perched on his desk. While her brother had gotten the hint that dad was busy, she seemed to think she could outlast his work; somehow able to glare and pout hard enough that he would stop and give her the attention she felt entitled to.

With a small smile, he turns back to his work, cooing internally at his adorably stubborn daughter. Then his eyes widen, hearing a crunch and feeling the pen in his hand briefly pause before the sudden sensation of wet passes over his hand. Malleus stared down at his small, too-proud daughter, the end of his fountain pen still sticking out of her mouth and dripping ink onto paperwork.

“...” With all the grace of swiping a fly, he shoved the baby dragon off his desk and to the floor.

Malgona actually squawks, staring up at her father with what he could only translate to ‘The audacity’. She squeals and hisses, lunging at him on and off before scrambling to the wall. He raises a brow, watching her swing her head into the baseboard before giving him another hiss and scurrying out of his office.

He sighs, turning to retrieve another pen to restart his work.

Yuu comes to stand in the doorway. Malgona — Now a pouting human toddler with a bright red mark on her forehead —  held in her mother’s arms giving him a vengeful smile.

“Malleus, care to explain why my baby tells me you threw her against the wall?”

“I believe we're both aware that one in particular lies.”

Silver + Sebek

“You said…it was here?” Silver asks, looking around the ground with a confused expression.

Louis scoffs, searching the edge of the area with determination, “Curb the distrust in your voice. I don't know the exact location, but I'm telling you there's a hole in this yard, somewhere.”

“I'm not saying you're lying. I'd just sooner believe you brought the shovel to hit Sebek with.”

“Well, the evening is young.”

“I’ve done nothing to you…” The half-Fae mumbles.

“Lies. You married my brother.”Louis retorts.

When the young king had appeared on their doorstep that morning with a shovel in hand, Silver quickly passed Beau into Sebek's arms. Both of them fully convinced Louis had come to duel with his twin's husband. Instead, the blonde twin explained he wished to remedy a threat in their yard, Louis insisting there was a hole that had nearly killed him multiple times during his childhood visits.

Standing to the side, stiff as a board, Sebek nervously held onto Beau. The quickest of the pass being the only reason Sebek took the baby so easily. But now, looking down at wide aurora eyes, the half-Fae could feel himself start to panic. He wasn't ready to truly engage with their foster son, still feeling that the moment he breathed too loudly, he'd terrify the poor boy.

Sebek jerked, eyes wide in surprise when Beau shoved against him. His body reacts before his mind understood that the infant wasn't trying to move away from him but was simply moving.

He still slackened his grip.

What followed was a silent show of panic, lightning-fast grabs, and seconds later slips.

Luckily, he manages to grip the silent baby with both hands, standing upright and staring into the open air just as Silver speaks.

“Oh, there is a hole here.” He stares down the narrow tunnel, tilting his head as he wondered if it was an abandoned burrow.

“I told you! Bane of my existence for nearly 20 years…” Louis looks over his shoulder, ready to tell Sebek to bring the shovel before stopping at his expression. Turning to Silver, to gestures at Sebek’s terrified expression, “What in the Glades is wrong with him?”

Silver looks over his husband before shaking his head, “Don't mind Sebek. He's just nervous holding Beau still.”

Lilia

Raising a child himself was harder than Lilia thought it'd be.

He sighs, bouncing a sobbing baby in his arms and pacing his cottage, “You fuss all day, you cry all night. And you were so cute the first night I had you. Was it all a trick, Silver?” He could only sigh when his reply was a wail.

Switching his hold, Lilia ponders. He's only been personal with five infants — technically four, Sebek's egg was set to hatch late in the Spring— his entire life, and most of them had the surname Zigvolt. And while they had been a wealth of knowledge, he couldn't give Silver over to them every time he cried.

He thought harder, cuddling into a pudding-soft, tear-streaked cheek. How did he calm Malleus again? Pouting, he remembered Boudicca drilling into his mind that Silver could only have milk for a year before he tried to give him solid foods, so bribing him with sweets was out of the question. 

The longer he thought, the less he felt his feet touch the ground. An old habit of floating along with his mind. As he felt his back hit the ceiling, he realized Silver had stopped crying. Looking at the child in hand, he was met with wide Aurora eyes.

“Oh? Have we stopped all that crying?” He looked at his surroundings, humming before looking back to Silver, “Do you like this?”

He sits up, fully hanging Silver upside down. The infant babbles, his arms flailing briefly before a giggle bubbles out of him.

“Yes! Laughter! The ceiling is such a fun place, isn't it?” Lilia laughs along with Silver, cuddling into his cheek, “You know I used to hide with Malleus on the ceiling — ”

The cottage door opens, a figure in black stepping through, “Lilia, I've brought what you asked for.”

“Oh! Speak and he shall appear, it seems.” He lifts an arm to wave, realizing too late of the shifting weight in his hold. He just barely misses gripping the back of Silver's nightgown as he slips from his arms and plummets to the floor.

Silence rings in the room; Lilia still on the ceiling, Malleus standing in the doorway with his arms outstretched and Silver floating a foot from the ground, giggling in a green-hued bubble.

…

“Lilia — ”

“My, child rearing is exhilarating.”

“Lilia, this is how you dropped me. Please don't take him on the ceiling again.”