hi

Okay I might have the perfect name for my comic, I'm going to doodle a cover idea with said name and you guys can tell me what you think

I get upset when everyone says my daughter looks just like me as a baby because all my brain can think is "how was it so easy to hurt me then?" Because I look at her and all I can think is how I have to protect her smile. I will never hit her. But then I remember how I have autism and couldn't talk till two and how I was adopted into a dysfunctional household. My daughter shows no signs of my disability so far and is advanced for 17 months old, even if she did have signs it wouldn't change how I treat her. But it does change how others treat and see her. I know it was the family I was in and not me that caused the abuse, I know this yet it's so hard to separate the blame. I still look in the mirror and wonder who I would be if my brain wasn't like this. I'm learning to embrace who I am and love myself in a world not made for people like me. I pour everything into my daughter and even if she doesn't change the world maybe she'll make it a kinder one, even just a little.

Every month I get so surprised and upset when my period starts. I just had to do a painkiller & micro dose of weed combo because the pain was so bad I was going to puke. Wish I was in bed but unlike dad I don't get to just ignore my child and go to bed. Told my husband aww you only got 4 hours? Like my everyday? Must suck to be so weak 🙂 (can you tell I'm not coping well?)

Tomorrow we are meeting up with husbands dads side of the family to visit Dad's grave. Gonna leave a dr pepper for him (he was a man of dr pepper which I respect because it is the best soda) his side of the family finally get to meet my baby and now that I'm no contact with mother in law i can get closer to this side of the family (they don't like MIL and I didn't want drama but they have always been good to me) I'm excited for Olivia's 2nd birthday because now family will actually show up unlike her sad first birthday where no one showed up

Damn guys I got like 3 moms and they all fucked up lol first one made me a drug baby and said shit you the devil and abandoned me, the second emotionally neglected me and let abuse happen to me, and the third was a narc. Where can a person get a loving mom? Ah shit I gotta be it? Damn okay I guess