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He said you were being irrational, you called him a meanie or something along those lines. The argument escalated, and when you told him that if he really wanted you to just up and move a thousand miles away, then he should come with you, he said no.

Just like that. No explanation, just a sharp no that didn't leave any room for argument.

That's how you ended up in the bed, bawling your eyes out, banging your hands and legs on the mattress, throwing tantrums like a child would, but then you felt completely heartbroken, not just for yourself but him as well.

You didn't want to leave him alone again, to have no one to talk to and hold him when he felt sad or had a nightmare.

At first Eric just let you be, he knew this was difficult, it was for him as well, but he didn't want this to come between your way of having an actual life.

For a while, he didn’t come after you, and that silence made everything worse. It stretched across the room, pressing into your chest, making your sobs feel louder than they were. You laid there curled into yourself, fists clenched in the sheets, your face buried in the pillow like you could somehow hide from the reality of what was happening.

After a few minutes he climbed in the bed next to you, he then held your shoulder from behind to make you face him, your sobs only intensified at the touch.

“Hey listen to me sweetheart” he mumbled softly, wiping the tears from your cheek, pushing the wet strands of hair behind your ear.

“No ..no listen..I don't want to leave. I stay here, with you..pleaseee” you cried even harder, he sighed deeply before he leaned down to kiss your forehead. Then he pulled you into his arms in an attempt to calm you down.

You continued to sob, sniffling every time he rubbed your back and kissed your cheeks.

“I don’t want to be alone again” you finally said even though it wasn't really a complete truth. The truth was you didn't want to be without him. Your voice cracked halfway through, and fresh tears followed immediately “I can’t do that again, Eric…”

His jaw tightened, not in anger because of something that hurt.

“You won’t, you'd never be alone again” he said quietly. You shook your head again, pushing weakly at his chest.

“You say that but you’re not gonna be there with me”

“You won't be alone” he repeated, firmer this time, but still soft. His hand moved into your hair, fingers brushing through it slowly, calming you down in a way his words alone couldn’t.

“You’re not going back to that” he continued, his forehead resting lightly against yours. “You’re not that person anymore. You don’t live that life anymore..you'll meet new people, make friends, you'll be okay”

Your breathing was still uneven, but you weren’t fighting him as much now. Just holding onto him like you needed something solid to keep you grounded.

“This–” he exhaled quietly, his gaze steady on yours, “this is something you have to do on your own” You frowned immediately, hurt flickering again.

“Why? Why do I have to do it without you?” That question hung there between you, it broke his heart really even though he tried to not show it.

His thumb brushed across your cheek again, slower this time.

“Because you need to know what it feels like-” he said “To stand on your own in a world that doesn’t just want to take from you” You stayed quiet, listening despite yourself “A world that gives you a fair shot” he added. “Where you don’t have to survive all the time. You just… get to live and grow and be happy”

Something in your expression shifted at that. Not fully convinced yet.

How could you ever be convinced to leave him behind?

“I’ll still be here whenever you need me” he said, more gently now. “That doesn’t change”

“It feels like it does” you whispered. His hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer

“It doesn’t.”

There was a pause, a long one, where neither of you spoke.

“Why can't you come with me? We can live together”

“If I could,” he said suddenly. Your eyes lifted to him immediately “I would” he repeated, voice lower this time. For a second, something like hope flickered in your chest but then he shook his head slightly.

“I can’t leave this behind..this cottage, the shed with all the evidence” he said, and there was no hesitation in it now “You know I can’t.”

And you did. That was the worst part. You did. His fingers found yours again, lacing them together like they always did

“I’m not choosing this over you,” he added, softer again. “I’m just not done with it yet” Your throat tightened, but you didn’t pull away this time.

“You’re not losing me” he said, his voice quieter than before. “You’re just going somewhere I can’t follow right now” His thumb brushed away the last of your tears.

“You’ll be okay” he murmured then “I'll come visit you, you come back around holiday breaks”

His words didn’t fix it. They didn’t magically make it easier. But they… softened the hurt somehow. Just enough for you to breathe through the hurt instead of drowning in it.

You stayed there in his arms, your face pressed into his chest, listening to his heartbeat like you had done so many times before. Only this time it felt different. Like you were trying to memorize it. The rhythm. The way his chest rose and fell beneath your cheek. The way his hand kept moving through your hair, over and over again.

How would you live without this?

“What if I don’t like it there?” you mumbled against him, your voice still thick from crying. “What if I don’t fit in?” He let out a quiet breath, his chin resting lightly on the top of your head.

“Then you come back” he said simply. You pulled back slightly at that, your brows knitting together

“Just like that?”

“Just like that” he repeated, looking at you properly now “This isn’t a prison sentence. You’re allowed to try something and not want it”

That made something in your chest loosen, just a little.

“But you will be okay” he added after a second, his thumb brushing under your eye again. “You’re gonna hate it at first… probably. You’ll overthink everything, convince yourself you don’t belong there” A faint, almost knowing smile tugged at his lips. “And then you’ll prove yourself wrong like you have done all this time”

“You sound very sure of that.” You sniffled, giving him a weak glare.

“I am” he said without hesitation.

That confidence he had in you, it steadied you in a way you couldn’t explain. You wanted to make him proud. You'd do anything for him afterall and if this was what he needed for you then be it.

Your gaze dropped to his chest again, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the fabric of his shirt.

“And what about you?” you asked quietly. “Who’s gonna take care of you when I’m not here?” He huffed softly, like he expected that question.

“I’ll manage”

You wished that would have brought you some relief but it didn't. Just the thought of him coming back home to no one, no one to kiss him and hug him and make love to him, to tell him that he was the most beautiful part of her life, it broke your heart completely.

You stayed there a little longer, tangled up in each other, neither of you in a rush to move.

Because even though nothing about this was easy, it didn’t feel like the end. Just a distance you’d have to learn how to cross. Without him.

You finally sat up and wiped your tears. He propped up on his elbow to look at you. He hated that you had cried yourself to a headache over this but then the sight of you being so soft and warm did seem adorable.

That's when it hit him, the fact that in two weeks he won't be able to get to have you here like this whenever he wanted.

“I have some money that I stole from John, do we need it for the fees and stuff?” You asked him, turning around to face him.

“You give that money to me, we go to the bank tomorrow, open an account on your name okay?” he told you. You stared at him for a second, your fingers tightening slightly around the bedsheet.

“On my name?” you repeated, like the idea itself didn’t fully register yet.

He nodded once.

“Yeah. Your name” His tone was calm, but there was something firm underneath it. You hesitated.

“Eric…” your voice dropped, uncertain. “What if—”

“No what ifs” he cut in, not harshly, but enough to stop you from spiraling. His hand reached out, curling around your wrist, grounding you. Your lips pressed together, still unsure.

“I don’t want you going there and depending on anyone” he continued, softer now. Your eyes lifted to his.

“You have your own money. Your own account. Your own life” he said, holding your gaze. “That’s the whole point of this”

Something about the way he said it made your chest tighten again but not in the same painful way as before. This felt different like he wasn’t pushing you away. He was setting you up.

Still, your brows pulled together slightly.

You then climbed on top of him. You had two weeks. Just that. After that you probably won't see him for days or even weeks at a time.

“I don’t like this” you mumbled.

“I know” he brought his hands up, placing them around your hips.

“I don’t want to go”

“I know that too”

Your grip on his chest tightened slightly.

“But I will” you added quietly.

That made him still for just a second. Then his hand came up to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him.

“Yeah” he murmured. “You will”

There was something proud in the way he said it. You looked at him for a moment longer, really looked this time.

Trying to memorize everything again.

The way his hair fell slightly into his eyes, the way his jaw tightened when he was thinking, the way he looked at you like you were something he had to be careful with.

Your fingers reached up without thinking, pushing his hair back.

“You better actually visit me Doctor Draven” you warned softly. His mouth curved at the professional name he hadn't heard in years.

“I will”

“And pick my calls”

“I always do”

“And do not forget about me.”

That made something flicker across his face.. it was brief, but there.

“Not possible” he said quietly.

Your throat tightened again, but this time you didn’t cry.

Instead, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his, soft, lingering. He kissed you back just as gently, his hand coming up to cup your jaw, keeping you there for a second longer before pulling away.

“Get some sleep” he murmured.

You laid back down on his chest. His hand moved absentmindedly through your hair again.

“Eric?” you whispered after a minute.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t get used to sleeping alone again”

His hand paused for half a second before continuing.

“How could I?” he said.

The next two weeks passed by you in a blur, you had to go to the bank, meet that lawyer that has been helping with getting your trace wiped out from the internet. And work on some much needed documents.

You had also been clingy, clingier than ever. He didn't mind, in fact he welcomed it. He was going to miss not having his obsessed psycho around him all the time. You didn't leave his side if you didn't have to. Even when he took loo breaks, you walked in. He had drawn the line at you watching him empty his bowels though and that you agreed with. You didn't want to do that either.

But him taking a leak? Yeah you didn't let him piss in quiet in those two weeks. You watched him. He let you.

He always noticed the flushed look on your face after that and then he fucked you like you deserved to be fucked by him.

It was as if you were in your private little heaven in those two weeks but it ended sooner than you wanted it to.

Three days before your classes would commence, he decided to drive you to the University. You had your bags packed. Everything you'd need was there in those bags. Everything but him.

“Did you check everything? Took all the documents? You have your file?” He asked while putting your bags in the trunk of his car.

“Everything is here” you pointed towards the shoulder bag. You lingered by the car door, your hand resting lightly against it but you didn’t get in.

Your eyes drifted back to the cottage again. It stood there the same way it always had. As if nothing inside it had ever changed anything in your life. But it had. This place and this man had changed your whole life in a matter of months.

Two weeks ago, the thought of leaving had felt impossible, now it was real, really real..

Eric noticed the dilemma. Of course he did. He didn’t say anything at first, just leaned back against the car slightly, arms folding loosely across his chest as he watched you. Letting you have the moment instead of interrupting it.

You walked a little closer to the cottage, your steps slow, almost hesitant like if you reached it, something would change. Your fingers brushed against the wooden railing.

“So this is it, huh…” you murmured, more to yourself than him. He pushed himself off the car then, walking up behind you.

“Not It ” he said quietly. “Just… a pause.” You let out a soft breath, shaking your head faintly

“Feels like more than that.”

“Feels like that” he corrected.

That made you glance back at him.

God… you were going to miss him. You were going to ache for him in every possible way. Your eyes softened, and for a second you looked like you might cry again but you didn’t.

“You better not change anything here,” you said, your voice quieter now.

“I won’t.”

“And don’t take in another woman” you said as you crossed your arms “I mean if you want to help..just do it from a distance okay?” He smiled as you said that.

“Okay”

“And don’t sleep on my side of the bed.” you continued. That made him huff under his breath.

“You don’t have a side”

“I do” you shot back immediately, turning to face him now. “Left side.”

“That changes every night”

“Still mine” A faint smile tugged at his lips despite himself.

“Fine” he said. “Left side stays untouched” You held his gaze for a second longer, like you were trying to lock that promise in. You stepped toward him this time, hands came up, gripping the front of his shirt, bunching the fabric like you needed something solid to hold onto.

“I’m actually going Chihu” you whispered. He looked down at you, his hand coming up to rest at the back of your neck.

“Yeah..you'll be okay” he said quietly. Your lip trembled but you pressed it down, refusing to break now

“Say it again” you murmured. His brows furrowed.

“What?” he asked as he pecked your lips.

“That I can come back anytime I want” His thumb brushed lightly against your jaw.

“You can come back to me” he said, steady and sure. “Anytime you want.”

You nodded slowly.

“And you’ll come see me?”

“I will” His hand tightened slightly at the back of your neck, pulling you a fraction closer “I’m not going anywhere” he said.

You searched his face like you were trying to catch any hesitation. There wasn’t any, just that same quiet certainty he always had. You exhaled shakily then leaned in, pressing your forehead against his chest..

The drive was going to be long. 15 hours long. He'd have booked a flight for you, but he knew he couldn't send you alone for your first time.

There was this hole in your chest all the way, and it was only getting bigger and bigger the further you reached into this new city. New place. The city didn’t feel real at first. Not even when the buildings started getting taller, closer together. Not when the roads got busier, louder. Not even when the university gates finally came into view, intimidating in a way that made your stomach twist.

It only started feeling real when the car stopped. You didn’t move right away.

Your fingers were still loosely wrapped around the strap of your bag.

“We’re here” he said softly. You nodded, but your eyes were already scanning everything outside. The campus was huge. Bigger than anything you had imagined. Students walking around in groups, some laughing.

It didn’t feel normal to you. It felt overwhelming. Your grip on his hand tightened just a little as you walked inside..

“Hey” he said softly “Breathe” You let out a slow breath, nodding again.

After picking up your books and schedule chart, you made your way to the dorm facilities. He didn't want you to stay alone somewhere, didn't feel safe in a city where you didn't know anyone yet. So a campus dorm seemed like the best option.

Your room was on the second floor.

By the time you reached it, your chest was already tight again. You wanted to hurl and cry at the same time. When you pushed the door open there was someone already inside.

A girl that seemed younger than you was sitting cross legged on her bed. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, she was really beautiful. She was scrolling through her phone and looked up immediately when you walked in, her expression shifting into something friendly.

“Oh hey! You must be my roomiee” You froze for half a second before forcing yourself to nod.

“Yeah… I am” She smiled as she got up and walked over.

“I’m Sharon” You adjusted your grip on your bag

“Y/N”

“Nice to meet you” she said easily, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. You nodded again, offering a small smile.

It felt strange. Exactly how you had felt when you went to school the first day. Eric stepped in behind you then, setting your suitcase down near your bed.

Sharon glanced between the two of you briefly, picking up on something but she didn’t ask. Just gave you a polite smile.

“I’ll give you guys a minute” she said, grabbing her keys “I need to grab something anyway”

And just like that, she was gone. The room fell quiet again. You exhaled slowly, your shoulders dropping a little.

Eric started unpacking before you could even say anything, opening your suitcase, pulling things out, placing them where they needed to go like he’d done this a hundred times before.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said quietly.

“I know”

But he didn’t stop. That made something in your chest ache. You moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed as he worked.

“This is weird” you admitted.

“Yeah” he said simply, you huffed softly

“That’s all you have to say?”

He glanced at you then, just briefly. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know” you muttered. “Something more comforting.”

He shut the suitcase, finally done, then leaned back slightly against the desk behind him.

“You’ll get used to it” You frowned at the response.

“That’s not comforting.”

“It’s the truth” he said. You looked away, your fingers picking at the edge of the bedsheet.

“I don’t like the truth sometimes.”

“I know” he smiled.

That softened something in you. After a moment, he walked towards you to grab your hand

“Come on… let’s go get coffee or something”

******

The cafeteria was crowded. Voices overlapping, trays clattering, chairs scraping, everything felt a little too much all over again. You stuck close to him while he ordered, your eyes scanning the place like you were trying to find something familiar in all the unfamiliarity.

You didn’t.

The only person familiar to you was the one that was going to leave you in a moment. You sat down with your coffee, wrapping both hands around the cup like you needed the warmth.

“Are you gonna stay?” you asked quietly. He already knew what you meant. “A hotel or something” you added. “Just… for a night.. to rest?”

He shook his head almost immediately.

“I’d rather drive back.” Your eyes snapped to him.

“Drive back? Today?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s like… fifteen hours, Eric.”

“I know.”

You stared at him, disbelief mixing with something else.

“Why?” you asked, softer now.

He leaned back slightly in his chair, his gaze steady on you.

“Because if I stay…” he paused, like he was choosing his words carefully, “You won’t settle in” That hit harder than you expected. Your lips parted slightly, but nothing came out “And neither will I” he added.

Silence stretched between you. Your fingers tightened slightly around the cup again.

“That’s not fair” you whispered.

“It’s not supposed to be” You looked down at the table, blinking slowly.

He wasn’t being cold, he wasn’t being distant. He was just making sure you didn’t fall back into depending on him for everything.

About an hour later when he was assured you had everything you needed, he finally decided to leave. You followed him every step back to the car, even though you had already said goodbye outside the dorm.

Your eyes were teary, heart aching in the worst possible way. His hand stilled on the handle of the door as he turned to look at you once-

That's when he cupped your cheeks to kiss you and hug you as tightly as he could.

“You'll be okay my wildflower. I'll call you in a few hours ok?” He murmured, caressing your head. You broke into tears again so he cupped your cheeks and forced a smile.

“I'm so proud of you..so fucking proud” he mumbled softly, using the back of his hand to wipe your tears one last time.

And then he stepped away with the finality. Getting inside the car. He didn't look back then, not even as the car drove past the gate and then away.

You were still there, watching him disappear more and more until you couldn't see him anymore. For a long time, you didn’t move, even after the car disappeared beyond the gates. .

People walked past you, some laughing, some rushing, some completely absorbed in their own lives. No one knew that your entire world had just gotten into that car to drive fifteen hours away from you. Your chest didn’t ache the way it had earlier. It felt worse.

Hollow.

You inhaled slowly, but it didn’t help, so you finally turned around and faced the campus again. The buildings were just as big, just as unfamiliar, just as indifferent.

This was your life now.

*****

The road stretched endlessly ahead of him. The lack of your presence next to him was evident. The silence you had left behind was so loud he had to turn the music on to drown the noises.

Going back to that city, to that cottage, without you, it felt unreal in a way. His jaw tightened.

“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath, exhaling sharply

He drove like that for another few minutes. Gripping onto the handle of his emotions, emotions that he had been suffocating for the past two weeks because he didn't want to weaken your resolve. They were already shaky to begin with.

Don’t get used to sleeping alone again

His grip tightened on the wheel as he heard your voice in his head. He swallowed hard, blinking once, then again, trying to push it away.

“Get a grip” he muttered, harsher this time. His hand came off the wheel for a second, dragging over his face before returning quickly. But it was already too late. Something had cracked.

His breathing changed, he blinked again, but the tears didn’t stop this time.

“Fuck…” his voice broke.

And then it hit him. All at once.

His chest caved in as everything he had been holding back finally gave way. A sharp breath left him, followed by another and then he was crying.

Not in the quiet subtle manner but completely torn apart, his grip tightening on the wheel as he tried to keep the car steady through blurred vision.

The music kept blasting, loud and useless, unable to drown anything out. Nothing could. Not the distance, not even the certainty that he had done the right thing.

He forced in a breath, but it came out broken anyway.

“Yeah…” he choked, voice barely holding any weight “You’ll be okay” he murmured. But he wasn’t saying it to you anymore.

He was saying it to himself.

And it didn’t sound convincing at all because how was he going to be okay without the woman he was in love with?

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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