Chaos as we gaze at the ceiling @captainfanoftheceiling - Tumblr Blog

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prokopetz

Game where the ancient hero is awakened from the deathless sleep of centuries in the hour of their people's greatest need, only to find that civilisation is thriving and there are no obvious threats on the horizon; the game then becomes a fish-out-of-water detective sim as they try to figure out what woke them up, and also solve other, smaller mysteries along the way.

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

kaity--did

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

kaity--did

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

inkloom

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

kaity--did

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

#lol

ozempicofficial

#lol

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jauntylittlefrillyboy

Oh man I can't believe I forgot. You know that post that was like "tell me what clothes you've bought because of a character" or whatever. I searched for ages to find an adequate white cable knit sweater because of Ransom's in knives out.

jauntylittlefrillyboy

It's a good sweater

jauntylittlefrillyboy

I'm putting this here bc I feel like it's information everyone needs. You can find it here.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I don't knit but that's hilarious because this looks like such a complicated pattern for a beginner

disaster-possum

Oh it is. There's at least three different styles of cabling. And more advanced cabling at that. That sweater would take me like a year to finish.

crossedwithblue

All the cabling is done the same way. You just need to read your knitting and keep track of which row you're on

itspronouncedtessa

No, but for real. Knitting is just loops. Cables? Spicy loops. Lace? Spicy loops. Color work? Multicolored spicy loops.

There are no levels in knitting, there are no exams to pass or goals to achieve before you can continue.

The Handsome Chris is a perfect beginner project. It's all one color, it's knit flat, you get to learn lots of new techniques all at once, but most of all it's engaging and you're working towards a goal you really like.

I would have impaled myself on my needles if I'd been forced to complete a Sophie scarf before I got to advance to something more "challenging" like a washcloth, or God forbid a ribbed hat.

My very first project was a self-drafted 11-strand intarsia double sided cable scarf, because I didn't know I wasn't allowed and that was what I wanted to make.

This attitude of mystifying certain fabrics as advanced really twists my stitches. I cannot do simple stockinette colorwork to save my life, but I can 3-color brioche without looking.

There are no levels in knitting.

Make that fucking Handsome Chris if you want to, it's a great sweater. Or start with the Sophie scarf if that's more your vibe. But don't ever think that knitting is hard.

derinthescarletpescatarian

You sound like me telling a beginner crocheter "nah the alligator stitch is easy for a beginner, it's all just double crochets!" (a real thing I have said to people picking up a crochet hook for the first time). I'm not saying you can't start with a complicated stitch I'm saying it's very funny when people do.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#I mean. knitting and crochet both just build onto very basic stitches#once you know the basics it’s short work to do those ‘harder’ stitches#you just gotta practice them!

"Once you know the basics" is my point. Beginners do not know the basics. I am a beginner knitter and let me tell you we're doing shit like "trying to remember how to cast on", "not dropping too many stitches and going on without noticing if you can help it", "trying to figure out how to keep consistent tension so the width of the project doesn't keep changing", and "trying to remember the difference between a knit and a purl because at least a quarter of these stitches are definitely backwards".

jmtorres

#lol

atomictourists

Piping hot take: I don't give a shit if straight actors play queer characters as long as they do so with empathy and authenticity. When you say shit like "only queer actors should play queer characters" what you're actually saying is only OUT queer actors should play queer characters. If you're assuming an actor (or anyone else, for that matter) who hasn't declared their sexuality is straight, you are participating in heteronormativity.

#life

birdplushie

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

magn-animously

DIG

14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat

DIG

buriedunderyourmum

DIG

hannisconfused

DIG

kitsunesakii

DIG

yourlocalfandomfriendo

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

thatghostthateatspeople

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

Some actually Good journalism from France:

Machine translation:

The rest is copy pasted because I can't get it to work on the page:

Thank you, Clémentine Rebillat, for reminding us what good journalism is. 10/10

#Hudson Williams

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wolfythewitch

furthest we've ever been

#project hail mary fanart #:)

anneriawings

OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?

I JUST

GUAM?

phantomrose96

IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM

KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST

“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID

anneriawings

12/27, 8:37PM CT

ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM

anneriawings

12/28, 12:18PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***

anneriawings

12/28, 10:22PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY

GO COOKIES GO

@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY

anneriawings

lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and

anneriawings

12/30, 12:39AM CT

@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper

holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE

phantomrose96

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

anneriawings

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

anneriawings

COOKIES ACQUIRED

homebeccer

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION

also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey

anneriawings

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

anneriawings

SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????

AND

IT’S

IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-

I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED

phantomrose96

Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks

Its not even an in-game feature

crowreys-wormstache

Oh my god it’s back

anneriawings

H O W

anavar-immela

I’ve had this sort of thing happen.

At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.

phantomrose96

I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”

No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.

I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.

sharkgal4

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

offonaherosjourney

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP

korasonata

Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.

You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.

#lol #amazing #usps

nudityandnerdery

John Rogers, proving himself once again to be an entire vibe.

nudityandnerdery

John Rogers is the creator of two of my favorite things:

Leverage and Leverage: Redemption, show(s) about criminals who team up to punish billionaires and corporations who take advantage of regular people in ways that the law won't punish. It's a great heist show, it's hilarious, it's satisfying in a vengeance sort of way, it's deeply nerdy in sometimes subtle ways (criminals using aliases from Doctor Who, anyone?), and seeing the characters and relationships develop is really nice, too.

The following quote: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

gryphye

John Rogers is one third of my Rogers philosophy.

Mr Rogers: Be kind

Steve Rogers: Do the right thing

John Rogers: Billionaires steal more than all the street crime combined.

#:)

shanesloverboy

Unfortunately Hudson Williams committed several grave sins to the internet:

Masculanized an Asian character

Became a heartthrob as a POC

Gave an award-winning performance for a neurodivergent character

Is dating a woman after playing a gay man

Gets just as much praise as his white costar

Doesn't censor himself to fit in

IS AN ASIAN MAN WHO HAS PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD SO DIABOLICALLY DOWN BAD FOR HIM

#heated rivalry #:)

crazysodomite

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

rifki16

happy pride to them

#:)

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