the idea of shane who denies himself SO MUCH and optimizes SO MUCH OF HIS LIFE and is SO focused and SO dedicated

but who cannot resist the siren call of Forbidden Mangoes

it ends up being his end of season treat

he did a whole season, he did a great job, he stayed focused and On It the whole year. other people celebrate with champagne. shane celebrates with an allergen.

shane who has one last photoshoot to knock out before he's free and is just oh no :) it conflicts with my husband's schedule :) guess that means ilya can't go with me :) so sad :)

why are you so happy

i'm not :)

then he does the photoshoot and has knocked out the last thing he has to do in front of a camera for a while.

now it is Mango Time.

he facetimes ilya with the lights down WAY low later and ilya just ?? shane??? i can barely see you, malysh. turn a light on.

uuuhh, no thanks. it's sexier like this.

what? i want to se-

...

shane is it the fucking mangoes

...no

SHANE

YOU GET TO SMOKE SOMETIMES. I GET TO EAT MANGOES.

ARE YOU FORGETTING PART WHERE ALLERGIES CAN GET WORSE WITH EXPOSURE?

THEN I SHOULD ENJOY THEM WHILE I CAN

You can't clearly define who's LGBT. Even someone who could pass as 100% cishet in their everyday life could be LGBT. Someone in an opposite gender relationship could be bisexual. Someone could be questioning their sexuality, even slightly, or maybe they did in the past or will in the future. It also isn't just people who identify as a non-assigned gender or have romantic or sexual attraction to the same gender that are oppressed. Even those who simply deviate from gender roles while still technically being cishet can be oppressed for it.

Requiring LGBT status as a condition for entry to LGBT events requires LGBT people to be out. And being out can be dangerous, so it should never be required.

and ilya wanders over and joins the conversation and starts?? recommending?? blogs??? "nut free natalie has really good plain vanilla. it does go kind of flat, though, i think because of sea level? but if you add 1/2 tsp more baking soda and-"

and the WAGs are all??? since when??? does roz know this??? and word gets around because he is a good captain and checks in on the family and ends up chit chatting about allergies and making suggestions based on what he's been researching since he's had a few months of this now and everyone is??? d-does roz?? have allergies? no?? they've SEEN HIM eating this stuff???

and then he moves to ottawa and someone has a (wildly incorrect lmao) lightbulb moment of "oh my GOD!!! ROZANOV HAS A KID WITH ALLERGIES!" they know about montreal jane and figured he was moving up to ottawa to be closer to her anyway, and a kid being in the picture (especially a kid who might have medical needs a la food allergies) would absolutely make sense for him suddenly moving up there after years. and some of the team is a little hurt he wouldn't say anything, but he does get some ruthless press and jane seems really private so maybe?? it's her request???

and naturally gossip flows a little to the point that it makes it to the ottawa team, and i mean? yeah? makes sense? roz is so rigorous about allergies and keeping his place allergy free? maybe the kid and jane come on the weekends or something?? or maybe it's like a week on week off situation??

and eventually shane is down in boston playing and a member of montreal is friends with someone on boston, so the gossip gets passed along that roz left boston to move up to ottawa to be with jane and their kid. and NATURALLY this becomes THE topic in the locker room that evening afterwards. and shane coming back from press hears this and is??? what?? the fuck are you talking about???

"yeah, it's what smythe on the boston team said. apparently roz moved up because their kid is sick or something?? no one's sure."

shane that night texts ilya, "apparently?? we have a kid together??"

GOD

someone SO earnestly holding up something they brought to shane to try and ask if it's safe for ilya and shane is pulling back as much as he can when he's being pulled into this huddle and just "?? for?? ilya?? yeah, that's fine for him."

and everyone is *deep breath of relief* okay great.

and then like ten minutes later they end up getting in trouble when ilya sees The Contaminant in the sacred space of Safe Food, and they're like !! not our fault!!! hollander said it was fine!!