subgender: sleepy

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

The fattest kitten at work hates humans SO MUCH. He doesn’t want to get picked up, he doesn’t want a cuddle. we’re all like, you should have thought about that before you decided to be the fattest little baby in existence. You think we’re not going to pick you up? You think we’re not going to kiss you? You’re so fat

do you have a picture of the little guy

I don't know how I'm ever expected to be normal again after watching this. this video is already lodging itself deep within my vocabulary as I type

Hey it looks like you reblogged "No rush, The bear videogame" slowdown! there no rush here. This is a cigarette, take it. Watch it again before you reblog it again

You are mentally ill, and that's amazing

ocd stands for “oh CMON dude” which is what you say to your brain when you catch it spinning a complex web of the stupidest shit imaginable that it has never the less managed to completely entrap you within

Its been five years of it’s august and the flow of time still haunts me

i think too many people operate under the assumption that emotions are some frivilous fantasy of the mind and have no impact on the physical world, which is a cute thought when Humans are an animal that can die from being kinda stressed out

Gay asf to be a dentist. Why you wanna drill another man??? Why you wanna make him scream? Why you wanna put your hands in his mouth? Anyway I’m here to shoot you because you’re mistreating your girlfriend who Im in love with and I need fresh human blood to feed my gaint talking plant from outer space

I didn't know this was something that happens in little shop of horrors I just thought it was a really good shitpost

the person who wrote these tags posts almost exclusively Rent the musical

guyliner for women

guyliner for the common trout

The cure to anxiety is completing all the tasks you have to finish for the day early and doing them phenomenally and being physically perfect and on everyone’s good side preferably even their favorite.