lake effect kid

kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man

keep liking my posts and we’re gonna end up as longtime mutuals who never talk to each other

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

our red string of fate is more of an electric wire

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

you cant even write porn to fund the local hardcore scene anymore

my dad had this bit growing up where whenever he was introduced to a little kid, he’d ask them how old they are and then be like “when I was your age, I was older” and he stole this from a standup routine on the radio but the gag works marvelously on children, you can see the gears in their little brains turning trying to understand the statement and formulate a response and then they giggle. 10/10 bit.

“people won’t be friends with you if you’re mean to them” is something you have GOT to learn in adulthood if you never learned it as a shut-in internet-socialized youth. you can’t just go up and say to ppl to shut the fuck up and kill themselves all the time and then expect people to genuinely care for you.

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically