in general if you want to enjoy your ships and romantic interpretations of character dynamics without running into the territory of amatonormativity and casual fandom arophobia i think a good standard approach is if you’re going to refer to the dynamic you see as romantic, there’s just no need to bring the idea of friendship or platonic relationships into it at all! i talk a lot about how people get very habitually and jokingly mean about nonromantic relationships in a way that’s really hurtful and upsetting to me as an aromantic person, and people often get very defensive in response, how it was just a joke, it’s not that deep, it’s just shipping, etc. so my best advice if you want to continue enjoying your ships and jokes and lighthearted fun in fandom without hurting aros and others who value nonromantic relationships, just stick to uplifting what you like, and not bringing up alternatives at all!
comments like “they were so in love here” or “they’re soooo gay for each other” or “this was so romantic” might be annoying to me on the basis of standard affection or care or whatever else, but that’s a me problem and there’s nothing harmful or wrong about it. just don’t bring platonic relationships or friendships into it, because at that point that’s where the shitty behaviour arises, because that’s where the purpose is almost always to put them down in comparison. i.e. “there’s no platonic explanation for this” or “who looks at a friend like that” or “sure they’re juuuust friends [based on some degree of intimacy or care or concern etc]”
you can have fun and enjoy your ships and make lighthearted jokes and posts without being amatonormative and casually arophobic!! it’s perfectly possible and easy. when in doubt you just don’t need to reference nonromantic relationships in your ship posts at all. celebrate what you enjoy! don’t put down what you don’t.
this includes if other people in your fandom are making posts about appreciating a friendship or seeing characters as having a sibling dynamic or something like that. you really really don't need to be making snotty posts about how SOME people see these characters as x relationship can you believe that. you can truly just leave other interpretations out of it. you can just talk about what you enjoy, you really do not have to be mean about it, especially when being mean about it in order to validate your ship runs directly into really really shitty territory wrt amatonormativity and arophobia often. just post about your ship. literally just post about your ship, it's that easy.
