Antediluvian Confidential

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

Terry Pratchett, in a letter to J. R. R. Tolkien, 22 November 1967

Thank you very much for your letter. The first one that I have received with regard to Smith of Wootton Major. You evidently feel about the story very much as I do myself. I can hardly say more.

And there are so many articles and videos and discussions. Like, the scientific community is buzzing about this.

So much research will have to be redone because the data was absolutely compromised, off by orders of magnitude, by using standard lab gloves.

The world is probably not horrifically contaminated by microplastics. Sterile laboratories, however, are contaminated by latex and nitrile gloves.

Sources beyond dude just trust me, for the skeptics.

https://www.technologynetworks.com/applied-sciences/news/scientists-lab-gloves-may-be-causing-an-overestimation-of-microplastics-411138

Nitrile and latex gloves may cause overestimation of microplastics - Phys.org (it’s a pdf)

Image by Tony diTerlizzi, © TSR inc.

[I really like this illustration of the garbug, even if it is a bit ridiculous. Especially since it’s a bit ridiculous. It looks like it should be delivering invitations to the Queen of Hearts’ croquet game.

The original garbug came in two variants, black and violet. These were made different sexes in the 2e version. I’ve kept that dimorphism, but made them mechanically identical. Although the garbug hasn’t been seen in D&D since 2e, they do appear in the 4e kitbash Gamma World. And I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that they “evolved” into the chuul, which first appeared in the 3.0 Monster Manual. The paralytic tentacles around the mouth are the homologous trait, in this case.]

Garbug CR 4 N Aberration This insectoid creature is the size of a rhinoceros, with four spindly legs and two massive, lobster-like pinchers. Its face grows into a stabbing horn, and a beard of thin, slimy tendrils waves around its narrow mouth. Membranous wings grow from its back, protected by a hard carapace.

Garbugs are oversized vermin that combine physical characteristics of insects, crustaceans and jellyfish. They have a dim, animal intelligence, and garbugs are predators in swampy environments and tropical forests Although they cannot breathe water as adults, their eggs require constant moisture and hatch into aquatic larvae, like tadpoles. Garbugs are sexually dimorphic—the males have glossy black chitin, whereas the carapaces of the females are a pale purple color. Male garbugs are also more social than females, traveling in gangs from place to place while females live solitary, mostly stationary lives near a source of water. Garbug males spar with their horns for mating rights whenever a gang finds a female, but these fights seldom result in serious injury or death.

Garbugs have a taste for giant vermin, but will attack humanoid prey if they get an opportunity, especially in order to provision their young. Both sexes fight with horn and claw, but their jaws are too weak to cut into flesh. A garbug’s mouth is surrounded by a network of delicate tentacles which secrete a paralytic slime. This slime is a digestive enzyme, helping to break prey down in order for the garbug to consume more easily. Garbug kills tend to be messy affairs, and they leave little behind but the bones. Garbugs do not intentionally collect treasure, but the remains of their kills may have small valuable items scattered about.

A garbug stands between five and six feet high at the shoulder and is between eight and ten feet long. Males are typically smaller than females.

"The Shadowknight" © Aaron Nakahara, accessed at his deviantArt here

[Sponsored by Jay on the Patreon. This is my first original quori, after having converted a few from 3e Eberron, and this was a fun design space to play in. I do think it's interesting that I've done two sponsored posts in a row for monsters that weaponize despair; can't imagine why that theme is on people's minds of late.

If you'd like to join Jay in sponsoring monsters, see bonus monsters and writing, or just help out an unemployed trans writer, check out the Creature Codex Patreon here]

Quori, Fa’orrah CR 13 LE Outsider (extraplanar) From the waist up, this creature resembles a hooded humanoid figure, except that the hood is its head and it has no face beneath it. From the waist down, eight tentacles of differing lengths grow, dangling beneath it as it floats effortlessly. Its arms end not in hand but in fantastical armaments; a lance that stretches and contracts in one arm and a strange asymmetrical shield in the other. The sound of sobbing surrounds it.

The fa’orrah are sometimes referred to as the “knights of grief”. They are powerful soldiers of the quori, and are often found leading armies of lesser quori and Inspired on behalf of a kalaraq noble. They embody the emotions of sorrow and despair, using these as weapons to pacify populations and crush resistance. A fa’orrah uses its nightmares to target military and civilian leaders, weakening their resolve to fight by showing them visions of their inevitable defeat. Fa’orrah are scholars of history, and use their knowledge of failed rebellions, subjugated slaves and the value of autocrats to turn minds away from the concept of a better future.

Fa’orrah fly magically, using their tentacles to manipulate objects if they need to. Their arms are instead grown into a lance and shield, both of which are especially effective against the demoralized and sorrowful. In combat, a fa’orrah is surrounded by an aura of sobs drawn from the saddest dreams mortals have dreamed, which can shatter the resolve of their enemies and partially blind them with tears. Fa’orrah have powerful psychic abilities that inflict despair, grief and remorse, and use these to debilitate those not affected by their auras and generally spread misery. Against those who are immune to their psychic assaults, fa’orrah can conjure nightmarish weapons of force to wear them down, before finishing them off with their own natural weapons. Fa’orrah understand the value of a tactical retreat, but will sacrifice themselves if so doing will advance the agenda of their kalaraq.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.