I Prefer Dashing Rapscallion

What the fuck is that about?

stop that, that is not how this works

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I’ve decided to befriend someone I’ve known for several years.

I don’t know how most people make friends. I have no idea how friends are made. I don’t know the process. I think it’s supposed to be natural, but I have no idea what you’re supposed to do.

I pick one person a year and invest all of my energy and attention in defining a close friendship with this one specific person. I study their behaviors and their humor; I learn their love languages; I begin to understand how they connect. I compare them with my own and I reprogram myself to be more compatible. I unlearn behaviors that do not agree with them, I readjust my language, I adapt to their environment so that they are more comfortable. Meanwhile, I silently sew the seeds, making them familiar with my presence, and then I make subtle movements.

I happened to run into a long time acquaintance in the wild a few times the last 6 months and our interactions have become more comfortable. I noticed he began liking my drawings and would occasionally comment on my posts. So I brought him a treat one day as return for the candy he gave me when I visited his home state a few months ago. Then I was making tacos the other night and the idea came into my head that I should befriend him. So I sent him a PM of a weird picture of my kitchen, for no real reason. We chatted a bit, then called it a night. 

The next day, I finally sat down and drew a portrait of him that I had had references for for weeks. I posted it the same night, untagged, thinking he may already be asleep and would miss it. 

He PM’d me a half hour later.

He asked me what I thought I was doing, drawing such nice pictures of him. We chatted a bit, then bid each other good night as we would meet again in the morning at work. The morning comes and he approaches me as we’re waiting on opening gate. He asks me, in character, what I thought I was doing being so nice to him. Why on Earth would I be doing that? I didn’t have an answer to that, so instead I slipped a cookie out of my pocket and dropped it into the tip jar under his arm. He asked again, why?  I told him I liked being nice to him. He gave me some very nice compliments, told me I’m his favorite number (I changed my name recently to a number)

All day when one of us walked by, we would stop and say hello to the other, exchange small conversation or greeting smile. I’ve decided already that we have to be friends, and I’ve accomplished that bit, to the point where we will approach each other in greeting and stand or sit together, but we haven’t any talking points so for the most part we just stand together in silence. Haven’t really gotten to the talking part yet. Never thought I’d even get this far.

I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and mentioned him, told her that I drew a picture of him. Our mutual friend said, yes! She had seen it, and that it really meant a lot to him. She seemed genuinely happy that this had made her friend so deeply happy. 

When he had messaged me the night I posted it, he told me he didn’t know how to react to nice things because he’s unused to people doing nice things for him. He doesn’t know how to act around people doing things for the sole purpose of making him happy. He keeps asking why I’m being nice to him, and while I have recognized his language, his genuine communication to my sarcasm and casual deflection, and have worked to adjust my own to his, I still have difficulty dropping the deflection. So I keep making jokes and only dropping nice compliments rather than answering him. 

But I thought about it. 

Why have I chosen to be extra nice to him specifically? I don’t know, exactly. 

Mayhaps it was a spontaneous decision. Or perhaps it’s because 2 years ago he approached me despite not knowing me and told me that the person I looked up to was proud of me. He had noticed I spent a lot of time around one of his friends and that I had decided to learn a skill because I was inspired by this friend and had been hanging around him a lot, attempting to gain a form of friendship. And he saw me doing this and approached me to tell me “Hey, [friend] is very proud of how far you’ve come in learning.” I didn’t believe him at the time, because I couldn’t imagine that being true. I couldn’t imagine the 2 of them saying anything about me when I was gone, let alone saying nice things. I laughed it off and rejected his statement, but it stayed in the back of my mind for the longest time. I couldn’t appreciate it or believe him at the time due to my own insecurities.  But he saw me, a stranger, excited about people and things and he went out of his way to tell me that someone I very obviously looked up to was proud of me. Because he thought that I should know that, and that these people around me enjoyed my company. 

He was nice to me and wanted to make me happy even though he did not know me at the time. 

I’m in a better place now and can accept the things that come my way, sometimes even without deflecting. His friendly comments really paved the first stone on my path to recovery. 

I’d like to return the favor in some way. He gets overwhelmed easily at niceness because, his words, he’s not used to people doing nice things for him. Which just made me very sad. And much more aggressively invested in befriending him. I appreciate him and I think he deserves more nice things. 

He’s been liking all my fb posts, mostly comics I drew about daily life in quarantine, occasional heartfelt post wishing everyone safe journey and new adventures once this plague finally passes us. We haven’t spoken, tho, cause everything was hectic and I couldn’t make myself send out goodbye messages. 

After 3 weeks, and 2 days of being non-verbal, I forced myself to type out a message to him. It turned so pure it took me off guard. 

But then I messaged him a week or so ago, just telling him that I was glad he exists. And we started talking, he thanked me for messaging him, and then he told me I should stop by his work one of these days cause it’d be nice to see me. And I panicked and said that I had plans to be sick that weekend but some other time, and then I had anxiety over it. But we spoke a few days later, a longish conversation, and he sent me helpful youtube links to help drain my sinuses so I would stop sniffling from my cold.

But we had a real actual conversation about stuff. 

And life has been stressful and I’m starting to quickly lose motivation again. But I’d been thinking about it all week and looking forward to it, so I showed up at his job today. Just wandered around for a while, knowing he was there but felt weird searching for him. So he eventually stumbled upon me and gestured for me to follow behind him. And for 2 hours I just wandered around while he stocked shelves, and we discussed which friends we’ve been keeping up with, and the crappy things in our lives, and we just talked about everything and anything. 

He said he genuinely appreciates when I message him and was glad I visited him and to message him if I ever feel like stopping by so he can let me know if he’s around.

He then asked me if he’d ever told me how he first heard of me. That’s what he said. “Did I tell you how I first heard about you?”

A worrying thing to hear, really. 

I was assuming it was probably related to that initial comment way back when, the one he told me in the lanes before we really knew each other. But I didn’t know the full story. If he had tried to tell me it before I was too untrusting to listen.

So I said no.

He said he’d first heard of me from *friend*, because back then I was just a kid who had watched his show a bunch and afterwards decided to learn to juggle. And said friend saw me doing this and I guess saw himself in this, because that is how he learned. I was just doing exactly what he had done to someone else. And it reminded him of why he was doing what he was doing.

Which is such a pure and nice thing to say that it hurt so much holy crap why would you tell me this 

I’ve decided to befriend someone I’ve known for several years.

I don’t know how most people make friends. I have no idea how friends are made. I don’t know the process. I think it’s supposed to be natural, but I have no idea what you’re supposed to do.

I pick one person a year and invest all of my energy and attention in defining a close friendship with this one specific person. I study their behaviors and their humor; I learn their love languages; I begin to understand how they connect. I compare them with my own and I reprogram myself to be more compatible. I unlearn behaviors that do not agree with them, I readjust my language, I adapt to their environment so that they are more comfortable. Meanwhile, I silently sew the seeds, making them familiar with my presence, and then I make subtle movements.

I happened to run into a long time acquaintance in the wild a few times the last 6 months and our interactions have become more comfortable. I noticed he began liking my drawings and would occasionally comment on my posts. So I brought him a treat one day as return for the candy he gave me when I visited his home state a few months ago. Then I was making tacos the other night and the idea came into my head that I should befriend him. So I sent him a PM of a weird picture of my kitchen, for no real reason. We chatted a bit, then called it a night. 

The next day, I finally sat down and drew a portrait of him that I had had references for for weeks. I posted it the same night, untagged, thinking he may already be asleep and would miss it. 

He PM’d me a half hour later.

He asked me what I thought I was doing, drawing such nice pictures of him. We chatted a bit, then bid each other good night as we would meet again in the morning at work. The morning comes and he approaches me as we’re waiting on opening gate. He asks me, in character, what I thought I was doing being so nice to him. Why on Earth would I be doing that? I didn’t have an answer to that, so instead I slipped a cookie out of my pocket and dropped it into the tip jar under his arm. He asked again, why?  I told him I liked being nice to him. He gave me some very nice compliments, told me I’m his favorite number (I changed my name recently to a number)

All day when one of us walked by, we would stop and say hello to the other, exchange small conversation or greeting smile. I’ve decided already that we have to be friends, and I’ve accomplished that bit, to the point where we will approach each other in greeting and stand or sit together, but we haven’t any talking points so for the most part we just stand together in silence. Haven’t really gotten to the talking part yet. Never thought I’d even get this far.

I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and mentioned him, told her that I drew a picture of him. Our mutual friend said, yes! She had seen it, and that it really meant a lot to him. She seemed genuinely happy that this had made her friend so deeply happy. 

When he had messaged me the night I posted it, he told me he didn’t know how to react to nice things because he’s unused to people doing nice things for him. He doesn’t know how to act around people doing things for the sole purpose of making him happy. He keeps asking why I’m being nice to him, and while I have recognized his language, his genuine communication to my sarcasm and casual deflection, and have worked to adjust my own to his, I still have difficulty dropping the deflection. So I keep making jokes and only dropping nice compliments rather than answering him. 

But I thought about it. 

Why have I chosen to be extra nice to him specifically? I don’t know, exactly. 

Mayhaps it was a spontaneous decision. Or perhaps it’s because 2 years ago he approached me despite not knowing me and told me that the person I looked up to was proud of me. He had noticed I spent a lot of time around one of his friends and that I had decided to learn a skill because I was inspired by this friend and had been hanging around him a lot, attempting to gain a form of friendship. And he saw me doing this and approached me to tell me “Hey, [friend] is very proud of how far you’ve come in learning.” I didn’t believe him at the time, because I couldn’t imagine that being true. I couldn’t imagine the 2 of them saying anything about me when I was gone, let alone saying nice things. I laughed it off and rejected his statement, but it stayed in the back of my mind for the longest time. I couldn’t appreciate it or believe him at the time due to my own insecurities.  But he saw me, a stranger, excited about people and things and he went out of his way to tell me that someone I very obviously looked up to was proud of me. Because he thought that I should know that, and that these people around me enjoyed my company. 

He was nice to me and wanted to make me happy even though he did not know me at the time. 

I’m in a better place now and can accept the things that come my way, sometimes even without deflecting. His friendly comments really paved the first stone on my path to recovery. 

I’d like to return the favor in some way. He gets overwhelmed easily at niceness because, his words, he’s not used to people doing nice things for him. Which just made me very sad. And much more aggressively invested in befriending him. I appreciate him and I think he deserves more nice things. 

He’s been liking all my fb posts, mostly comics I drew about daily life in quarantine, occasional heartfelt post wishing everyone safe journey and new adventures once this plague finally passes us. We haven’t spoken, tho, cause everything was hectic and I couldn’t make myself send out goodbye messages. 

After 3 weeks, and 2 days of being non-verbal, I forced myself to type out a message to him. It turned so pure it took me off guard. 

But then I messaged him a week or so ago, just telling him that I was glad he exists. And we started talking, he thanked me for messaging him, and then he told me I should stop by his work one of these days cause it’d be nice to see me. And I panicked and said that I had plans to be sick that weekend but some other time, and then I had anxiety over it. But we spoke a few days later, a longish conversation, and he sent me helpful youtube links to help drain my sinuses so I would stop sniffling from my cold.

But we had a real actual conversation about stuff. 

And life has been stressful and I’m starting to quickly lose motivation again. But I’d been thinking about it all week and looking forward to it, so I showed up at his job today. Just wandered around for a while, knowing he was there but felt weird searching for him. So he eventually stumbled upon me and gestured for me to follow behind him. And for 2 hours I just wandered around while he stocked shelves, and we discussed which friends we’ve been keeping up with, and the crappy things in our lives, and we just talked about everything and anything. 

He said he genuinely appreciates when I message him and was glad I visited him and to message him if I ever feel like stopping by so he can let me know if he’s around.

He then asked me if he’d ever told me how he first heard of me. That’s what he said. “Did I tell you how I first heard about you?”

A worrying thing to hear, really. 

I was assuming it was probably related to that initial comment way back when, the one he told me in the lanes before we really knew each other. But I didn’t know the full story. If he had tried to tell me it before I was too untrusting to listen.

So I said no.

He said he’d first heard of me from *friend*, because back then I was just a kid who had watched his show a bunch and afterwards decided to learn to juggle. And said friend saw me doing this and I guess saw himself in this, because that is how he learned. I was just doing exactly what he had done to someone else. And it reminded him of why he was doing what he was doing.

Which is such a pure and nice thing to say that it hurt so much holy crap why would you tell me this 

I’ve decided to befriend someone I’ve known for several years.

I don’t know how most people make friends. I have no idea how friends are made. I don’t know the process. I think it’s supposed to be natural, but I have no idea what you’re supposed to do.

I pick one person a year and invest all of my energy and attention in defining a close friendship with this one specific person. I study their behaviors and their humor; I learn their love languages; I begin to understand how they connect. I compare them with my own and I reprogram myself to be more compatible. I unlearn behaviors that do not agree with them, I readjust my language, I adapt to their environment so that they are more comfortable. Meanwhile, I silently sew the seeds, making them familiar with my presence, and then I make subtle movements.

I happened to run into a long time acquaintance in the wild a few times the last 6 months and our interactions have become more comfortable. I noticed he began liking my drawings and would occasionally comment on my posts. So I brought him a treat one day as return for the candy he gave me when I visited his home state a few months ago. Then I was making tacos the other night and the idea came into my head that I should befriend him. So I sent him a PM of a weird picture of my kitchen, for no real reason. We chatted a bit, then called it a night. 

The next day, I finally sat down and drew a portrait of him that I had had references for for weeks. I posted it the same night, untagged, thinking he may already be asleep and would miss it. 

He PM’d me a half hour later.

He asked me what I thought I was doing, drawing such nice pictures of him. We chatted a bit, then bid each other good night as we would meet again in the morning at work. The morning comes and he approaches me as we’re waiting on opening gate. He asks me, in character, what I thought I was doing being so nice to him. Why on Earth would I be doing that? I didn’t have an answer to that, so instead I slipped a cookie out of my pocket and dropped it into the tip jar under his arm. He asked again, why?  I told him I liked being nice to him. He gave me some very nice compliments, told me I’m his favorite number (I changed my name recently to a number)

All day when one of us walked by, we would stop and say hello to the other, exchange small conversation or greeting smile. I’ve decided already that we have to be friends, and I’ve accomplished that bit, to the point where we will approach each other in greeting and stand or sit together, but we haven’t any talking points so for the most part we just stand together in silence. Haven’t really gotten to the talking part yet. Never thought I’d even get this far.

I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and mentioned him, told her that I drew a picture of him. Our mutual friend said, yes! She had seen it, and that it really meant a lot to him. She seemed genuinely happy that this had made her friend so deeply happy. 

When he had messaged me the night I posted it, he told me he didn’t know how to react to nice things because he’s unused to people doing nice things for him. He doesn’t know how to act around people doing things for the sole purpose of making him happy. He keeps asking why I’m being nice to him, and while I have recognized his language, his genuine communication to my sarcasm and casual deflection, and have worked to adjust my own to his, I still have difficulty dropping the deflection. So I keep making jokes and only dropping nice compliments rather than answering him. 

But I thought about it. 

Why have I chosen to be extra nice to him specifically? I don’t know, exactly. 

Mayhaps it was a spontaneous decision. Or perhaps it’s because 2 years ago he approached me despite not knowing me and told me that the person I looked up to was proud of me. He had noticed I spent a lot of time around one of his friends and that I had decided to learn a skill because I was inspired by this friend and had been hanging around him a lot, attempting to gain a form of friendship. And he saw me doing this and approached me to tell me “Hey, [friend] is very proud of how far you’ve come in learning.” I didn’t believe him at the time, because I couldn’t imagine that being true. I couldn’t imagine the 2 of them saying anything about me when I was gone, let alone saying nice things. I laughed it off and rejected his statement, but it stayed in the back of my mind for the longest time. I couldn’t appreciate it or believe him at the time due to my own insecurities.  But he saw me, a stranger, excited about people and things and he went out of his way to tell me that someone I very obviously looked up to was proud of me. Because he thought that I should know that, and that these people around me enjoyed my company. 

He was nice to me and wanted to make me happy even though he did not know me at the time. 

I’m in a better place now and can accept the things that come my way, sometimes even without deflecting. His friendly comments really paved the first stone on my path to recovery. 

I’d like to return the favor in some way. He gets overwhelmed easily at niceness because, his words, he’s not used to people doing nice things for him. Which just made me very sad. And much more aggressively invested in befriending him. I appreciate him and I think he deserves more nice things. 

He’s been liking all my fb posts, mostly comics I drew about daily life in quarantine, occasional heartfelt post wishing everyone safe journey and new adventures once this plague finally passes us. We haven’t spoken, tho, cause everything was hectic and I couldn’t make myself send out goodbye messages. 

After 3 weeks, and 2 days of being non-verbal, I forced myself to type out a message to him. It turned so pure it took me off guard. 

But then I messaged him a week or so ago, just telling him that I was glad he exists. And we started talking, he thanked me for messaging him, and then he told me I should stop by his work one of these days cause it’d be nice to see me. And I panicked and said that I had plans to be sick that weekend but some other time, and then I had anxiety over it. But we spoke a few days later, a longish conversation, and he sent me helpful youtube links to help drain my sinuses so I would stop sniffling from my cold.

But we had a real actual conversation about stuff. 

And life has been stressful and I’m starting to quickly lose motivation again. But I’d been thinking about it all week and looking forward to it, so I showed up at his job today. Just wandered around for a while, knowing he was there but felt weird searching for him. So he eventually stumbled upon me and gestured for me to follow behind him. And for 2 hours I just wandered around while he stocked shelves, and we discussed which friends we’ve been keeping up with, and the crappy things in our lives, and we just talked about everything and anything. 

He said he genuinely appreciates when I message him and was glad I visited him and to message him if I ever feel like stopping by so he can let me know if he’s around.

David Tennant reads the bookshop scene from Good Omens during Playing in the Dark: Neil Gaiman and the BBC Symphony Orchestra.

Posting here to memorialise this even after the BBC takes it down from their website. Originally performed 12th Nov 2019 at the Barbican, London. 

I remember seeing other videos of this performer. Reposted because I didn’t want to reblog from /sixpenceee.