woah...

I dont know about you guys but to me the term "Boys will be Boys" is actually about whatever dumb shit the Richmond team on Ted Lasso was doing

noncon friendship

Coworkers

Your friend’s boyfriend

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

heartwarming: transfem named mary sue and transmasc named gary stu have had a beautiful nonbinary baby named donut steel

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

Eats them all

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

ideal living situation is what i call the 'sitcom special' : having all your closest friends live in the same apartment building or neighborhood where you each have your own space but can wander in and out of eachothers homes at will, seemingly always welcome and never at bad times. and also all of you only have jobs when its important to the plot.

Is there a word for when you’re driving down the highway and start to approach you’re exit and you realize that you could just keep going? Like physically, you could just keep going. Nothing is stopping you. You don’t have money, but you have money to get you some place, for a moment. Even if it cost you someone’s worry, your own job, you could do it and besides, people have done worse. You could go and be forgiven. And there’s a hunger to it, fervent and demanding, because you’ve never wanted anything more than this. You are fed up with your life, sick of functioning under these conditions just so, of never taking the moment in between your mailbox and the apartment door to scream until your throat tears. You are already in your car. But then your exit comes and you take it, because somehow you have to. What’s the word for that?

Amazing that we call him the cookie clicker guy and not the "this website's hate mail game is insane" guy because one of those things had a much bigger impact on Tumblr culture than the other

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

in the pond?

you want to fuck in the pond?

And what if I do!? 😤

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/3963-bacterial-vaginosis