Mike Driver
Not today Justin
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DEAR READER
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we're not kids anymore.
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YOU ARE THE REASON
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@candycockatoo
so funny how the older u get ur like how the fuck on gods green earth did people used to manage all th- ahhh.. i need one of these wives everybody keeps talking about..
"how was X so successful and productive and achieving?" wife feeding and clothing and cleaning and shopping and parenting for them and also probably booking appointments and personal receptionist work. AND stimulant abuse. and shes supposed to suck you off whenever. id kill him too #feminists
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On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."
As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.
As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.
May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.
hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today
Apollo 17 vs Artemis II
Despite everything, it's still you.
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Also prev tags:
That's really cool actually
dnd setting where dungeons are as ubiquitous as roman ruins are in parts of europe
"i was just trying to dig a pond in my yard when i hit some kinda puzzle door, now i gotta get the adventurers guild involved. they say its gonna take at least 3 months to explore the whole thing, can u believe that?"
when you download a pdf and it's called like 1328723486basdf12.pdf but then you gently rename it to what it's supposed to be. that's forming a bond with a hurt and wild mythological creature and reminding it who it is.
FUCKING SOBBING I LOVE KETCHUP BOTTLE PNG REBLOG FOR KETCHUP BOTTLE PNG
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It's even better than that.
At least according to the old continuity, the Wookiees were skilled explorers, and their Clatuuvac Guild had the secrets to a number of hyperspace routes, especially through the Core (it's why the Separatists were so keen to take the planet in Revenge of the Sith)... And Chewbacca was one of the people who knew these hyperspace routes.
So the Millennium Falcon being the fastest smuggler ship in the galaxy? About half of that is down to Han's modifications, the fact that he drives like crazy, and the fact that he's almost as good as he thinks he is. The other half? Is just Chewie knowing a bunch of shortcuts, which he got from all the classified information he knew when he was a commander.
Look, if the respected commander wants to bring his rescue human along, so be it. Even if said rescue is poorly socialized.
hrt and transgender surgeries being positioned as dangerous and experimental despite being around for much longer than ozempic, which many people are pushing as a miracle weight loss drug while ignoring its real medical indications and any possible negative side effects
it seems like hypocrisy but it's really the same idea: your body is not yours to control. you are not allowed to be fat, you are not allowed to be trans, we will say whatever it takes to keep you in line
watching the try guys series without a recipe is genuinely so entertaining for so many reasons but every now and then one of them says something that reminds me that some people literally do not know how to cook at all which is very upsetting. kids should in fact learn how to cook. why are you as a parent sending your child into the world without the basic necessary life skill of Be Able To Feed Yourself Without Ready Made Stuff And/Or Takeout? and for those of you who are about to be like "well obviously youve never considered xyz" are you really going to look me in the eyes and tell me that it is totally ok for someone to never be taught or learn how to use a kitchen knife? boil water? make pasta? even what spices you can add to food of any kind (ready made food included!) to make it taste better? knowing how to cook at least even the most basic of things is literally something that directly keeps you, a real person, and maybe even those around you, alive. you cannot tell me that that is not an important life skill
Went to an Oedipus Rex adaption today and my friends were debating whether the Oedipus/Jocasta age gap was problematic. Like guys…I think their relationship has bigger issues
what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario
if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable
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doctor will fix me they'll do a scan and find a terrible darkness seated in my stomach and be like "oh my god we're so sorry we were supposed to remove this at birth like everyone else, i don't know how this was missed, we're so sorry you've been living like this your whole life" and it'll fix my brain too and all clouds will part
You are not staying in the tags
Gröning proposed the idea for the film to the monks in 1984, but the Carthusians said they wanted time to think about it. They responded to him 16 years later to say they were willing to permit him to shoot the movie if he was still interested.
into great silence
Replying agreeably 16 years later is extremely relatable
adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm
that’s next week! Don’t forget!
Sexiest math operation?
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×
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the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.
we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,
I love the insinuation that the second the princess realized she was a girl and thus actually a princess, the dragon was there. That thing wasted no time. It heard "princess" and was like "I need no further invitation, here I come."
Gender affirmed by Dragon. Amazing.
pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post
extremely funny to me that harley quinns real name is apparently harleen quinzel, a name that sounds less real that harley quinn. they should do that with more comic characters. batman real name batthew manning. daredevil real name darius devilson. doctor strange real name. well okay that one doesnt count.
I have some very good news for you about Black Bolt's real name
NOW THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT
