Calista Rain Slattery

Delena : First Time (3.22)

my moods

He could see the pain within her eyes however he turned around and walked away, he didn't stop to rethink his decision he just carried on walking. She watched as an army of tears painfully crawled down her cheek, she hoped and prayed that he'd just rethink this decision and come back. But he finally turned the corner and just like that he was gone, he left whilst dragging her broken heart behind him. The memories, the special moments, her heart, her feelings, her tears, none of that was enough to change his mind. She cried over him every single night for months, she slept for days on end because she couldn't face the world without him. She neglected herself, she distanced herself from her family and friends. Eventually a year had past and she was still crying over a man who no longer loved her, she had no one to talk to because she had pushed everyone away. She felt as if she had no control over this situation, she was so afraid to accept the fact that he was gone. She was afraid to create new memories without him, she felt as if she couldn't move on. Weeks had past and one day she got out of bed and stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes were puffy from all of the crying. Her skin was pale, and her hair was matted she shook her head and said to herself "enough is enough." She finally had realised her own self worth, she was neglecting herself. Her own body, her own mental and physical health, her own friendships she had neglected it all because she was damaged. But it was time for her to fix this, her own self love was powerful enough to slot each shattered piece of her heart back into place. She was enough and once she realised this she slowly became happier, yes she will always love him as he was her first love. But she was strong enough to pull herself out of a very dark place, and to do that takes so much strength mentally and physically. And the 'she' in this short story once upon a time was me, heartbreak isn't easy and it never will be.