my holy land still grows

Caitriona might not have liked Narcissa, but she was still family, and family came first. It didn’t matter that Narcissa was naive, or annoying, or foolish, Caitriona was still determined to do right by her cousin, in a way no one had for her. She tried not to dwell on it, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone should have been looking out for her when she was engaged. Someone should have realized that Caitriona would intimidate Xavier, and he would bore her, and they would never be happy together. Someone should have said something, but instead everyone only mentioned how advantageous a match it was for their families. Caitriona was determined that Narcissa would not suffer the same fate.

While Caitriona was not thrilled with her father’s decision to throw open the doors of Burke Lodge to those members of society nearest and dearest to the family in honor of the Quidditch World Cup, she was determined to make the most of it. If nothing else, it provided a convenient opportunity to observe Lucius Malfoy in close quarters, and when she happened upon the older wizard uncharacteristically alone she didn’t hesitate to seize the advantage. “Mr. Malfoy, I haven’t had the opportunity to welcome you to my family’s home. I do hope you are enjoying your stay.”

Caitriona should not have been surprised that the Nott family had been invited to stay at Burke Lodge. After all, Owen Nott was an eligible bachelor who met her parents’ particular criteria and his parents weren’t opposed to the idea of a match, which was more than could be said for many in their circle. It didn’t seem to matter to anyone else that neither Caitriona nor, as far as she could tell, Owen were particularly enthused by the prospect. The only person who’d voiced any opposition thus far was Teagan, which would have been enough to intrigue Caitriona in and of itself even if it hadn’t been obvious that Teagan’s opinion held sway.

In an attempt to make the most of the situation, Caitriona found herself gravitating toward Teagan; at least, when she was present. It was obvious that the older witch was not staying within the bounds of Burke Lodge and its grounds, but Caitriona certainly couldn’t blame her. The gathering Eamonn had assembled at Burke Lodge was oppressive in its self-importance, as any respectable collection of purebloods had to be. Still, Caitriona was selfish enough to waylay Teagan when she caught her making her way to the back door with perfect nonchalance. “Teagan, how fortunate that we both mean to explore the gardens at the same time; we can walk together.”

Caitriona Ebing Burke: Burke Lodge

Caitriona Ebing Burke: wanted dynamics

꒰  🌼  ꒱    —     𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓   ﹕ @anyone  ．

it was universally known that the only thing holding the wixen world together — if one could even say it was being held together, which in itself was highly debatable — was the pretence of high society and decency, which was precisely why amaline found herself taking a solitary stroll through carkitt market, taking in the steadily growing crowds. she couldn’t complain, she always enjoyed people watching and taking in the things that still excited those on the outskirts of the war — if it meant she did her husband’s image a favour, and tried to overhear a conversation or two… well. amaline selwyn ( née vance ) was nothing if not a practical woman. while she made no purchases, she walked and perused different shops, hummed and ahed at whatever seemed pretty, offered polite smiles at the people behind the counters, and waved at babbling babies. all in all, she could’ve done quite a lot worse, and she was almost satisfied with her friday when a familiar face forced her hand — it would hardly be polite to not approach them, after all, and so she did. “the shops are quite quaint, aren’t they? i’ve done the rounds twice by now, i believe.”

@admelicra​

When Caitriona first arrived at the Unity Fair, she’d enjoyed wandering between the vendors and simply watching the people milling about, but now it was starting to wear on her. Her personal threshold for being around people had always been rather low, and she found she was somewhat out of practice at hiding her fatigue. She wasn’t sure if she was more annoyed with the overly-affectionate young couples, people who were probably close to her age yet she felt decades older than, or the energetic young children, another sharp reminder of things she could not have, but Caitriona most certainly wanted to escape.

Caitriona was angling for the second-hand books stall, which most of the fair-goers were ignoring, when she met Amaline Selwyn’s warm gaze, and she had to stop. Amaline was someone who grew slowly on Caitriona. At first, she wasn’t sure she trusted Emmeline’s cousin, knowing what she did of the extended Vance family’s reaction to Emmeline’s mother, but Amaline had been another newly-wedded member of the Sacred 28, so Caitriona had had no choice but to make nice. As she got to know Amaline, Caitriona slowly decided the blonde was more sensible that many of the other young women in their social sphere, although not as sharp as Emmeline, and she made for a pleasant companion. 

The true depth of Amaline’s character hadn’t become apparent until after Caitriona’s husband died, and she found herself ostracized from society by her former mother-in-law. Amaline had never hesitated in her friendship with Caitriona, by all appearances dismissing each and every rumor or whisper that accompanied her. That was when Caitriona realized she had a surprisingly true friend in Amaline. So Caitriona would not snub the older witch, even if she didn’t particularly feel like engaging with her sunny disposition. “They are indeed. Did you see the line of stalls selling handcrafts? There were some quite impressive pieces; I believe I even spotted some Irish lace.”

bella found very little amusement in fairs, she’d come to find, especially ones that were awfully crowded and she was nearly forced to attend. of course, she didn’t have to do anything, but if she didn’t it would certainly look terrible. life as lady lestrange ( and her previous life as a child of the house of black ) meant walking the fine line between making sure she upheld her status, but also kept watchful eyes away from her business. it was exhausting, but it was life. how she’d ended up coming across books was beyond her, but those had always been far more tolerable than the noise around her and so she’d picked one at random, almost daring anyone to tell her off for reading it right there. they hadn’t, so she’d continued. she’d admit that she’d been tuned off from the world — she’d never had an issue engrossing herself in a book and losing connection to the world of the living — only snapping out of her daze when she heard the familiar voice of her cousin. the witch turned, the corner of her lips tugging into a smile at the sight of caitriona and moving away from the display with a hint of theatrics, snapping the book closed before speaking. “caitriona darling, it’s wonderful to see you, even if i do apologise for inconveniencing you.”

@gammaoricnis​

Caitriona was discovering that living alone made her a bit more social than she ever had been, even when she’d been married. Both her parents had been present in her childhood, her mother almost constantly and her father as often as his work and trips would allow, and the difficult part of attending Hogwarts had been finding privacy. Although Xavier certainly hadn’t been a companion, he had at least been another presence in the house. Now it was just Caitriona and her cats, and while she very much enjoyed the independence that brought, the solitude of it sometimes crept up on her. 

That was how she’d ended up at the Ministry’s Unity Fair, although she’d had no intentions of attending when it was announced. Whatever time there had been when Caitriona’s presence in society had been assumed was past, and she was willing to take advantage of that. The second-hand bookseller’s stall was a quiet refuge from the main crush of the fair without feeling isolated, and she was happy to share that respite with Bellatrix. Caitriona had always looked up to her eldest cousin, particularly as an example of doing what is best for one’s family, instead of oneself. 

“I find the transgression somewhat easier to forgive, knowing you don’t make a habit of being oblivious to the world around you.” Caitriona knew books were one of Bellatrix’s few indulgences, and it was one they shared. She picked up the book she’d been eyeing as the older witch moved, but didn’t open it. “Did you find a particularly interesting title, or were you simply taking a recess?”

Who: open

Where: Unity Fair

When: Sunday 18 July 1982

How long had it been, Lily wondered, since she had seen so much dancing and celebration in public? There had been a gloominess in the air the past year which Lily simply had not been able to shake. 

It was hard to feel anything other than joy, however, with so much laughing and joy, with the smell of sweets and butterbear in the air. 

And with the songs of her childhood playing, song she heard on muggle radio which so many around her could not understand why she would still listen to.

She sang them now, moving with glee. Lily was undeniably, unapologetically muggleborn, and tonight was a night for her to celebrate it. 

She span uncontrollably in her dance, nearly knocking into someone as she did so. “I would apologize, but if you really think about it, it’s your fault. You should be dancing! Surly you can’t listen to music like this and not dance!”

@lxlyxvxns​

Usually, Caitriona paid very close attention to her surroundings. In this particular instance, however, she’d been distracted by a small knot of children, none over the age of five, dancing to the music in that ungainly, inelegant way toddlers had. To put a finer point on it, she’d been distracted trying to ignore the pit that opened in her chest at the sight of them. Caitriona had grown up assuming she would one day have children because that was what was expected of her; it wasn’t until she discovered she couldn’t have children that she realized she wanted them. Now every time Caitriona saw children, it was a reminder of yet another thing she wanted but couldn’t have.

So she would have been in a mood no matter who stumbled into her, but the fact that it was Lily Evans, of all people, rankled Caitriona even more. She hadn’t liked the other witch much when they were in school, and if the current situation was anything to go by that hadn’t changed. Caitriona resisted the urge to grind her teeth and instead pursed her lips. “I know this may come as a shock to someone like you, but not everyone is the same.” Clearly, Lily was still plagued by the same myopic, self-righteous worldview as all Gryffindors, forever assuming that the only right way to be was like her.

The had been wonderful, filled with sunshine and a light drizzle in the morning. Not a single thing had been around to put a damper on the mood. To say it was almost cruel to shower Narcissa with such bliss while the other was tormented on the inside and forced to put on such a brave face. If Cissa had known certainly there would have been compassion or at least a hint of wonderment of the other’s internal struggles yet there she sat, oh so utterly oblivious of the way Caitriona’s world worked despite considering the other a dear friend. “You truly are the kindest being.” The smile widened as she glanced upon the other. Narcissa did feel lucky to consider her part of her ever-dancing, ever-spinning circle of friends and family.

“How lucky that we have all afternoon to catch up as the others won’t be around until this evening’s celebration. While I do love my family, I certainly wouldn’t mind a more quiet moment of celebration.” There was amusement within her voice, echoing back off the walls as she reached for her wand to pour the tea. “Same as always?” Her eyes motioned toward the second cup, hovering so delicately in the air; as though a gust of wind could throw it across the room without so much as a blink.

“Honestly, I can’t believe how busy life’s kept us.” Narcissa was observant and smart but when it came to Cait’s situation it was almost cruel to note the obliviousness that came along with it. “Perhaps we can make some more time for each other in the future. It would be lovely.” There was determination in her voice, a though a no wouldn’t suffice and part of her almost wanted to add that if it came to it, she would insist. At the end of the day it was the other’s choice. “But tell me, how’ve you been, Caitriona?” There it was, the curiosity that came mixed with the concern the witch felt.

Narcissa glanced around before she tapped her wand against the table, almost enjoying the soft echo that came from the connection of wood against wood. “We require some cake. It is a special day so make sure to bring only the most delicious additions within the cake repertoire.” Cissa Black would have no less than that.

@aurcralux​

‘You truly are the kindest being.’

In another life, in another world, Caitriona might have been allowed to laugh at that, or at least roll her eyes. She’d never had much use for kindness, she’d been raised to believe it was a weakness, and even if she’d grown enough to know it was its own sort of strength, it wasn’t one that served her. There was no steel in kindness, and Caitriona had always been hard and sharp. There was metal in her right down to the year she was born. But even if there hadn’t been much room for kindness in the Burke household, Caitriona was raised on the importance of manners, so she smiled demurely and ignored Narcissa’s insipid assertion as she settled onto the settee opposite her cousin. 

“Of course.” Caitriona plucked the teacup from the air as only the person it was meant for could. She did not have to reach for it as it had already been just at her fingertips, and she knew before she took a sip that it would be flavored with lemon and just a splash of cream. Of course, it was not how she always took her tea, but it was how she took tea that had been made outside of her mother’s country, or her own home. Caitriona had inherited her mother’s discerning palate when it came to tea, and it had been an unpleasant reality to learn that not everyone had the same knowledge about nor took the same care with the quality of tea they bought. 

Narcissa always had been remarkably suited to the life she was meant to lead. She was beautiful, vapid, and as far as Caitriona could tell, which was quite a lot, smart enough to keep her head above water, but too stupid to wish for anything more. And, of course, Narcissa had a talent for mindless chatter. She could say so much without saying anything at all, and never tire of it. Caitriona hadn’t even been in the room for five minutes and she already wanted to leave. But it was Narcissa’s birthday and, although the blonde certainly didn’t need to be any more spoiled, Caitriona had to indulge her. So she cut to the core of Narcissa’s million little nothings and answered the question that had nearly been buried beneath them. “I’ve been focusing on my townhouse. I had to replace the tile in the foyer, restain the trim in the reception room, and of course the entire place needed paint, but I’m very nearly satisfied with the first floor.”

Although she would never admit it, Caitriona felt there was something rather romantic about second hand books. Every time she read a new book she learned something, and in the process she left behind the part of herself that had been ignorant between the pages. Books that had belonged to other people, to strangers, felt as if they carried extra stories. It was not an interest Caitriona had ever really allowed herself to indulge; there was something about used books that was supposed to be beneath her as a Burke, and Caitriona had always worked very hard to make her family proud. Of course, none of that really mattered anymore. Even with everything Caitriona had done, everything she’d sacrificed, it still wasn’t enough, and now she was wondering if it was worth it. 

So Caitriona had decided to allow herself to browse the booth that the second hand bookstore had set up at the fair. She wasn’t sure if she was actually going to purchase anything, but she was enjoying picking the books up and flipping through them before setting them down. When a book on the table near someone who seemed intent on simply reading the entirety of the book in their hand caught Caitriona’s eye, she tried to be polite. She moved closer to the table, waited, cleared her throat delicately, then more loudly. When nothing worked, she was forced to speak. “You’re rather in the way.”

Caitriona Ebing Burke: natal chart

The last few months for Benjy had been a haze, a whirlwind of emotions he thought he’d buried and a colorful array of new ones he never knew existed. The happiness of waking up next to Caitriona was indescribable. To hold her, to kiss her, to laugh underneath the covers and whisper sweet words into her ear, was what Benjy had longed for since he’d first knew he was in love with her. It was like getting everything he had wished for– almost.

It was a conversation with his best mate Tiberius that had illuminated what Benjy had been wanting to keep in the dark these past months: the deep, continuous, paralyzing fear that everything with Caitriona was temporary. That at a moment’s notice it would all disappear again, leaving him more crippled with heartbreak than before. He’d do anything to hold onto Caitriona and be able to call her his, to show her the world by his side, but he couldn’t risk his heart anymore. Not again. When he would make this decision, he didn’t know, for every time they met again it was like all of Benjy’s convictions were erased and he wanted to cling to every second he had with her. 

That morning, he had grander things than his clandestine relationship weighing on his mind. Benjy had stared at the blank journal page for so long his vision had gone blurry. He’d been debating, going back and forth, weighing the benefits and downfalls of warning Caitriona about tomorrow’s operation. Ultimately, he had scribed the simple yet serious warning into the charmed pages, knowing it was the first thing she would see in the morning. Benjy wouldn’t be able to live with himself if the operation went astray and Caitriona ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time. The guilt would ruin him, more deeply than anything had before. 

He shouldn’t have been shocked by the sound of knocks on his door and Caitriona bursting into his flat. He’d been expecting it, yet not so soon, so it took him a moment to recover and come up with his answer. “It might not be safe,” Benjy explained. “I can’t give out details, Cait, but I need you to trust me.”

@benjyxfenwick​

Caitriona didn’t have to ask if Benjy’s cryptic note had to do with the Order, the look on his face confirmed her worst fears. Her heart sank to the floor as her mind began to race. They’d never really continued their conversation about his involvement in the group; she hadn’t had the heart to bring it up while he’d still been under the effects of the veritaserum back in January and since then she’d been distracted. Whenever she was with him there always seemed like better things to do than start a fight. She didn’t want to jeopardize this strange twist of fate that had brought them back together, didn’t want to test the strength of his rediscovered feelings. But now she was faced with a situation where she knew the Order was making a move, and a dangerous one if it involved Gringotts, and she had no idea just how involved Benjy might be, just what he was risking. 

“Don’t make this about trust.” Caitriona’s voice was far too shrill for her own liking. She didn’t want to be angry at Benjy, and she wasn’t; she was scared, which was far worse. She crossed her arms, gripping her elbows to stop her hands shaking. She trusted Benjy more than she trusted any other person, possibly more than she trusted herself, but that didn’t mean she trusted the Order, it didn’t mean he was safe. The idea that Benjy might walk out the door tomorrow and never return, that this might be the last time she saw him… It was unthinkable, yet at the same time it made it difficult to think of anything else. But it would be oddly fitting, in a horrible way, if after having to publicly mourn the death of the husband she hadn’t cared for at all, she’d have to pretend to be unbothered by the death of the only person she’d ever been in love with.

Caitriona had to push that thought aside, although she couldn’t banish it completely. “Are you going to be there? Because if you’re going to be there, then I am going.” Caitriona couldn’t join the Order, she didn’t particularly want to. She couldn’t follow Benjy every time he put himself in danger to make sure that he came back, that he came home to her, in one piece. She couldn’t always protect him, not from his job and not from the Order, but she could go to Gringotts. There was no reason for her not to visit her bank on any day and at any time she deemed necessary. And if that corresponded with a vigilante attack on the institution, there was no reason for anyone to suspect she’d known about it ahead of time. Maybe Caitriona couldn’t always protect Benjy, but if he was going to be part of an attack on Gringotts, she could make sure there was one person there who cared more about his safety than anything else.

.

“It’s home,” Benjy answered her warmly. The affection towards his hometown of Birmingham was evident in his voice. He was by no means wealthy and hadn’t grown up in a glamorous part of town, but that only made him love his city even more. He knew the real parts of it, the heart and soul. “The people are friendly, aren’t stuffy, would give you the shirt off their backs if you asked. I grew up around all the Muggle kids, playing footy in the parks or alleys. You knew everyone in your neighborhood and everyone knew you,” he explained. “I really enjoyed being exposed to loads of different cultures– I was always interested in learning where people came from, their backgrounds and all.”

At Caitriona’s genuine question, a laugh erupted from him, one he quickly had to hush as they stepped into the building. He’d always had the same thought and it just reminded him of their similarities. “The city wants to be modern, whatever that means, and I suppose this is their take on it?” He guessed. They stepped into the vast library and as he caught the expression of wonder on Caitriona, his chest bloomed with happiness. He knew she would love it here. “I’m always in the history or sciences section, sometimes the novels too. Come.” Taking her hand softly yet firmly in his, he led her past the entrance and towards the left corner of the library. He waved politely at the librarian at the front desk, an older woman who Benjy chatted with over the years as he checked out his books. The lady waved back and her eyes widened brightly at the mysterious, pretty girl by Benjy’s side.

In the back of the library, Benjy immediately moved towards the shelf displaying the newest items. He perused a textbook on East Asian wildlife and biodiversity before another book on the world’s largest caves caught his eye. “I hope I get to explore these sort of places as a Cursebreaker,” he voiced to Caitriona in a slightly hushed tone.

@benjyxfenwick​

Caitriona smiled up at Benjy as he spoke, charmed by his obvious affection for Birmingham as much as the way he described the city itself. While she was fiercely proud of where she was from, she didn’t really have a hometown in the way he described it. Burke Lodge, like most pureblood estates, was intentionally out of the way; she hadn’t had any neighbors to speak of, much less ones with children she could play— “What’s footy?” She pursed her lips in a small, confused frown, but her curiosity was genuine. It was obviously some sort of Muggle game, otherwise Benjy wouldn’t have felt the need to specify that he’d played it with Muggle children. Most people in Caitriona’s world, in her parents’ world, put great stock in a person’s blood status, but Benjy never really seemed to care. In fact he rather noticeably didn’t understand why Caitriona had to pretend she did.

Caitriona huffed at Benjy’s explanation of the library’s architecture, not displeased by him in any way, but by the city’s reported reasoning. But her argument that modernity for the sake of newness was just as bad as tradition for the sake of oldness was swallowed up as they entered the library, and her displeasure with its exterior was wholly eclipsed by her awe at its interior. She followed Benjy closely, offering the librarian at the desk a shy smile and blushing at the woman’s obvious interest in the pair of them. She had to remind herself that no one knew who she was here, and while Benjy was obviously a familiar face, none of these people knew about his life in the magical world. There was no logical way gossip about a local boy from the Muggle world of Birmingham would make it to her parents’ ears. 

It was clear that Benjy knew exactly where he was going from the confident way he wove between the shelves, and Caitriona had to walk double-time to keep up with his long strides. When they stopped, she rested her cheek against Benjy’s shoulder again, choosing to look at the book he’d chosen instead of examining one for herself. “Caves? Not temples, or tombs?” Most students who wanted to become cursebreakers were interested in the tombs of Egypt’s New Kingdom. Caitriona herself privately dreamed of opening Qin Shi Huang’s mausoleum.

Andromeda understood why her younger family members hadn’t spoke with her after she left, she would be hurt as well if suddenly they weren’t in her life anymore, and even when she made the decision herself it was hard to not go to her former friends and family for comfort. The only thing that made it worth it was the fact that if she had stayed Dora would have been get rid off; one way or another; and now she had a wonderful kid and husband that she didn’t regret choosing.

She tried not to push the bonds that were reforming with the people that had reached out, even if she had left them letters, she assumed their parents found them first, or the younger ones were persuaded that they were all lies and she was just a disgrace. She tried to be happy with what she had now, even if it wasn’t the same as before.

At the mention of someone Andromeda rose her eyebrows and smiled, “This is the someone we want to learn to cook for?” she teased a bit not wanting to pry too much, she wouldn’t mention it to anyone, and even if she mention it to ted she doubted it would reach the purebloods. “You can say the ‘muggle’ way of cooking is better, but because most of the magical books have transfiguration involved in some part or the other.” she explained opening the book and finding the page were you would transfigure some napkins into vegetables.You could see the book had some annotations in the margins made by Andromeda just for Catriona, like ‘these taste like cardboard, don’t try it unless it is an emergency’ or something hear the heating spells: ‘better for reheating than actually cooking, but some are great for defrosting’, and so on. “The transfiguration of ingredients is never great, but the other spells are sort of useful. Muggles have invented some contraptions and machines for whisking, and flatten things, so if you use the spells for ‘motion’ more than any other the meals taste exactly the same.”

It was too much information, but Andromeda hoped that with the annotations and some other details Catriona wouldn’t feel as overwhelmed. “Yes, that is correct.” she opened the book back to where the scones were, “How about you show me how you do it and I’ll step in if you need some help?”

@medasgalaxy​

“No, I can’t imagine I’ll be cooking for anyone but myself.” Caitriona shook her head, and although it was the unadulterated truth, she still felt a twinge of guilt. Part of her wanted to tell Andromeda about Benjy, to confess everything because if anyone could understand it would be her, but would she? After all, Caitriona and Andromeda had ultimately made very different choices. Caitriona had to remind herself that it didn’t matter, anymore, that what had been between her and Benjy was over now. He no longer loved her as he once had, and it made no difference that she’d never stopped loving him. So she did what she always did and pushed through the pain, smiling at her cousin. “I suppose I could cook for Regulus. He would be polite enough to eat it, but whether or not that would be a good thing remains to be seen.”

Caitriona was grateful that Andromeda didn’t seem to want to pry into her personal life, and she happily moved on in the conversation. “That makes sense. Jewelry is the same; unless a metal has been transmuted by an accomplished alchemist it’s always better to work with true gold, and many stones revert back to their original forms over time.” She grabbed the small notebook and pen she’d brought to the kitchen for just such an occasion and jotted down what Andromeda had said. She hoped eventually to fill the notebook with tips and tricks learned from her cousin, so she could reference them when she was cooking alone.

Under Andromeda’s watchful eye, Caitriona carefully walked through the scone recipe. It was ultimately a very simple process, but having Andromeda’s support made Caitriona much more confident. At the end of the process she’d produced a batch of scones that, while a bit misshapen and bland, were perfectly edible. It was only a small step in the right direction, but it was one Caitriona was willing to be satisfied with for the time being. “I truly do appreciate you taking the time to help me with this. I would like to make it a more regular appointment going forward, maybe monthly, or even every other week? If your schedule allows, of course.” Caitriona could only imagine how busy Andromeda must be, between her work at St. Mungo’s and raising little Dora. She didn’t want to be a burden to her cousin.