My love, my light, my neverland

The fact the author watched the entire thing is fucking killing me

When I'm in a "being real as fuck on Tumblr" competition and my opponent is @bisexual-engineer-girl

girl at bar: heyyy is that a bluetooth speaker in your pocket or is your penis just loud ;)

Got a great ad encouraging people to dismantle surveillance equipment and then sell the guts at a pawn shop

if you're confused about all the pumpkins and ghosts and stuff, it's actually a sort of seasonal harvest festival in parts of the northern hemisphere. yeah, it's kinda weird to think about how it's autumn down there when up here it's spring, haha yeah imagine them all, upside down, and getting colder in october when it's just starting to warm up

what the fuck are you talking about?

And here we have a beautiful example of how your own vision and ideology can show through in accessibility even if you don't mean to (or even are conscious about it!): it is not an "upside-down map". It's a map. The map it's not upside down. It just is. It has another possible orientation, that's all.

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

ominous omen girl: 2 years, 7 months, 2 days.