Yeah

And they’re all Vlad

‎

me when I see a cat if I’m being honest

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

blood pressure Ain't even real lol. *stands up and immediately

her name is Primrose. jesus christ man

i think that's a microbe 🦠 🙂‍↕️

[Video description: Someone offscreen uses a Hatsune Miku hand puppet to play an IPad rhythm game. The song has a fast tempo and a complicated beat pattern on the game. The player doesn't miss a beat. When the song ends, the game shows, "Full Combo." The Miku puppet does a happy dance. /end description]

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

I once accidentally filled in a form using my internet name, went "that's not right", realised I didn't remember my legal name, panicked, and started filling it in with the names of everyone in my lab in order until I stumbled on the name that I recognised as being used for me.