Butts and Cigarettes

What happens if you get the ball in the cup?

pregnant

Me or him?

mysteries abound in the realm of cup and ball

I don't get it.

Go turn on your sink faucet full blast. Then put a spoon bowl side up in the water stream.

What does that have to do with my dishwasher?

Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻

watched a porno where the two guys just kind of noncommittally jerked each other off for what felt like forever and when one of them eventually shot his load the other went "oh shit wtf!" and pogged like he didn't know something like that could even happen but thought it was kind of cool in a scary way

so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.