it's me

bisexuality is when u are attracted to both vampires and werewolves

all of us vaccinated people communicate directly to each other via brain chip technology and we all talk about how sexy we are

Jellybean-furry eel soup.

“Tips to prevent mood swings: avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugary foods” that’s me diet tho mate

blocking people isnt enough i want to microwave them

This is just what a guy looks like

Just a regular dude

normalize flopping. it’s ok to fail baby. sexy even

the amount of people saying "i thought you meant flopping on the ground". target audience

why do i always fall for the bad boys *thinking about Lord Farquaad*

*Hears footsteps towards my room* Please dont

red hot silly peppers :)

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i gave you oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?

these manmade horrors are unfortunately well within my comprehension