all right, then, i'll go to hell.

Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.

The house is thirsty

@funnier-when-objectum

Yeah running water is cool but uuh. You do know that if you use it to pour enough water into a container you can put your head in it and drown and DIE??? Yeah this is crazy and evil and sad. What if a kid does that. This is why I propose the idea to make it so people pay 200000$ every time they use the sink!!! This is because no child has that much money so they are physically unable to harm themselves <3 Wdym this is insane and we shouldn't be paying 200000$ just to get a glass of water. There are no ulterior motives. No it's not about taking your money. This is for child safety. Don't you want children to be safe??? You evil sicko freak. What's wrong with you for thinking this is wrong and won't work.

i love you physical media i love you i love being able to both hold things in my hands and see them with my eyes i love photos i love records i love cassettes i love books i love writing stuff down i love youuuuuu

“just take notes with your computer” i WANT. to WRITE THINGS. in my SPECIAL NOTEBOOK. with my PENS. and HIGHLIGHT THEM

Living in a conservative part of a blue state and watching tv during an election year is really trippy because nationally people are like oh you’re all liberals over there you don’t know what it’s like living in a conservative area but then the local attack ads are like my opponent wants to be NICE to ILLEGALS and the RADICAL TRANS AGENDA and BURN DOWN POLICE STATIONS. You should vote for ME. I will SHOOT immigrants PERSONALLY in THE STREET. I am a former NAVY SEAL. BARK BARK.

It is not nearly common enough knowledge that most Native tribes in the U.S. don't actually own all of the land within their reservation. There are millions of acres of reservation land that tribes don't legally own and they have no control over how that land is used. Like, there are a lot of different concepts tied in with the land back movement, but a major one is literally just getting reservation land back into tribal ownership.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

The fact that Aperture Science canonically has a gender-neutral, polyamory-friendly partnership policy isn't a joke about Cave Johnson being inexplicably pro-queer. It's because their corporate medical plan allows them to experiment on your spouse. More spouses means more test subjects. That's the joke.

uuuuh okay update on the crush discourse going on in my notes: if a friend has a crush on you and they do tell you they're unfairly pressuring you to reciprocate but if they don't tell you they're being dishonest with you so either way they've ruined the friendship. every day the most anxious minds on earth make amazing philosophical strides on this website.

Look, i'm not saying that they are morally equivalent, but there are stark parallels in the entitlement that drivers show to cyclists and the entitlement that cyclists show to pedestrians.

something about being on a wheely contraption attracts hitler particles to your location.

My brain for whatever reason just very easily bends around weird concepts. idk if it’s from reading surrealism so much or the adhd or being stuck on tumblr for too long or whatever but so often someone will be like “wow that is so weird how do they come up with that” and it’s just like pretty standard absurdist humor or something and I’m like idk they were probably just staring at a wall and wondered what would happen if you nailed a tomato to it don’t we all do that