Awkward Tales of Interest

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

the power of hitting 'end task' on a glitchy program in task manager is intoxicating. i feel like an assassin. i feel like a tyrant. you don't want to work properly? begone. off with your head. i need to kill my apps with a guillotine

oh sick someone paved this whole road with good intentions. i wonder where it leads

sci fi is when it's called a "mission" and fantasy is when it's called a "quest"

i'm not normally one to make jokes about dialect or accent. but the way that British people pronounce "lieutenant" feels like an in-joke i'm not privy to

Aww, you're feeling lieut out?

Idk if this is just my Sickly Kid Aesthetic coming though but that bubblegum flavored amoxicillin fucking slapped

i just don’t feel like we as a society ever fully processed deedee megadoodoo

a cop pulls somebody over for a traffic stop when she gets flattened by a poop truck cause the driver of the poop truck was jerkin his shit nasty style and they report the cop’s name was deedee megadoodoo are you fucking with me right now????

i must say that i do really like it when reddit users look through other redditors' post history so they can do violence to them

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and I forgot to worry about it