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@bruce-wayne-simp
Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think everyone should have full control of their own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

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Well, even though you’re a bench-riding loser, you’re still my brother. Just the facts.
"Steve."
His voice was flat, unimpressed, the barest hitch to it that no one would ever catch.
Steve just grinned, kept tracing his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand, figure-8s around the knuckles, the barest trace of maddening pressure that made Eddie's throat click around a swallow.
"Eddie," Steve said, solemnly, a tiny quirk of a grin hidden at the edge of his mouth.
"Hospital hand-holding," Eddie said, going for his most maddeningly pedantic, "is for coma patients and grandparents. Siblings, possibly. Spouses, I'll allow."
The grin wasn't hidden any more, curling Steve's mouth up into something indescribably soft. Eddie'd look away, look at the damp-stained ceiling, if that didn't feel like admitting defeat.
"So more than friends, is what you're telling me," Steve said, squeezing Eddie's hand a little tighter. Eddie had to bite back a soft noise - almost managed it, too.
"Are we even- " Eddie started, then redirected, to avoid the line forming between Steve's eyebrows. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"
"You got a problem with me holding your hand, Munson?" Steve asked, leaning in too close, his grin lost to the brightness of his hazel eyes, his weight leaning on the bed sheets and pulling them tight against -
Eddie failed at biting back a noise again. Closed his eyes as Steve looked down.
"Look," Eddie said, shake in his voice, hopelessness in his tone, "look this is progress, okay?"
"I guess boners require blood pressure," Steve said, his tone a little off.
"It's not my fault you're some kind of fairytale hero," Eddie said helplessly. "I can't help it if my dick's kind of in love with you now."
A pause, then another tightening of Steve's fingers.
"Just your dick?" he asked, and there was something in his voice that sounded like it wanted to be hope.
Do you think Eddie’s ever sampled a cleaning product? I think he bit a tide pod
@bruce-wayne-simp Little Eddie absolutely LOVED mixing cleaning stuff together to see what they would do. Forest Hills got evacuated a couple times because he wanted to play with bleach. Actually adult Eddie still kinda likes to do this but the child lock won’t let him in.
Eddie has asked for the child lock to be removed because he’s an adult! With children! And a boyfriend! Wayne says no.
When they moved out Eddie was bragging to Wayne that now he’d have cabinets he could go into whenever he wanted!
“Steve you can’t lock me out of my own drawers that I pay rent on just because me and Dustin wanted to turn the kitchen into a science lab”
Steve, dead staring at him: *click*

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Do you think Eddie’s ever sampled a cleaning product? I think he bit a tide pod
@bruce-wayne-simp Little Eddie absolutely LOVED mixing cleaning stuff together to see what they would do. Forest Hills got evacuated a couple times because he wanted to play with bleach. Actually adult Eddie still kinda likes to do this but the child lock won’t let him in.
Eddie has asked for the child lock to be removed because he’s an adult! With children! And a boyfriend! Wayne says no.
Do you think Eddie’s ever sampled a cleaning product? I think he bit a tide pod
he’s so pround of his kid ☺️
this is the fifth fucking geode ive crakced open whys its all meat
my liege those are crab rangoons

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why is steve’s face so hard to draw. oh idk maybe because you didn’t draw for three years and lost all your skills. who can say
the idea of Steve slowly turning into his mother is so important to me. like I'm imagining a baby Steve watching his mother obsess over her hair, watching her blow dry and style it and thinking about how beautiful she looks. Sneaking into her room as she's getting ready. Staying quiet enough to not get kicked out. Watching her pick herself apart in the mirror. And he just subconsciously picks up her habits. he doesn't even realize until one day he's drying his hair and then catches himself flicking his wrist in the exact way she used to do it. he's looking at himself in the mirror thinking something self-deprecating and realizes it's exactly something his mother used to say about herself. and yeahhhhhh I think he has very complicated feelings about it.
then of course you also have the whole relationship aspect of it. how he watched his dad cheat on his mom and saw the way his mom grovelled and forgave him. watched the way she became like a babysitter to his dad. how she obsessed over him. and he sort of judged his mom when he was a teen. he didn't understand why she stayed with his dad or why she put up with any of it. but then he starts falling into the same patterns. and he has a big 'oh fuck' moment.
his favorite thing is to tell people “no”
having 40 minutes to leave the house is terrible because 40 minutes is basically 30 minutes and 30 minutes is basically 20 minutes and 20 minutes is basically fifteen seconds. but 50 minutes? 50 minutes is an hour, and an hour? ooobh thats plany off time
Game Night
Pairing: Steddie
Rating: M
Tags: Established Relationship, Making Out, Grinding, Attempted Seduction
Word Count: 405
Ao3 Link
The announcers on TV are saying… something. It’s all a jumble to Eddie, if he's being honest.
He’s tried to understand sports since starting to date Steve, but he still doesn't quite get it. Wayne usually helps fill that void, glad to have someone to talk with.
Still, he enjoys watching him on nights like tonight when Wayne is out. The intent look on his face and seeing him in his element– chattering on about plays and strategy– makes heat writhe in his belly.
So, he does what he does best, and leans in, trailing kisses along Steve’s jaw.

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angsty steve scenario: the only interactions between steve and his parents witnessed by his friends have been steve genuinely speaking to them as they hurl,or try to pull them unwillingly into, back handed compliments about him. it's odd because they knew steve thinks his dad is an asshole, but he always seemed to like his mother. sure they've heard how she is definitely self conscious enough to follow his dad around, but he always goes on about how widely respected she is. spoke about her like she was some sort of balm to his soul and balanced things out enough that things at home were okay enough for him to be happy. steve has never so much as hinted that she was an asshole too. but if this is how his preferred parent talks to him,to his face, in front of strangers then they know it's worse when no one else is around to hear, and it scares them that it doesn't seem to faze him. they know they need to urge steve to move out soon.
lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism
this is the cutest goddamn thing i’ve ever heard
I saw the penguin parade. It was a very slow parade, because the pingüinos take their sweet time and aren’t very fast walkers to begin with.
can I volunteer to be a penguin
I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.
So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.
Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army
Reblogging with Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III inspecting his troops.
Carry on …
I love everything about this post.
A GOOD POST
A lovely older friend of mine lived in Edinburgh when she was a small child, and regularly attended the penguin parade – as a penguin. That is, she was a small toddler and thus about the right height and speed, and she just waddled along with everyone else who was about 2’ high.
So the answer to ‘can I volunteer to be a penguin’ is at least occasionally ‘yes.’