Set me free from my jealousy

This is my favorite motherfucking thing about getting closer to Halloween every FUCKING YEAR

signal boost for safety

where! has! my! passion! gone! I had it abundantly when I was a child, and I must have dropped it along the way, but I cannot figure where!

You’ve all heard of panic! at the disco. Now get ready for

apathy! in adolescence.

im 17 now only one year left til i make this post guys

I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)

I feel specifically targeted.

Drink water take meds Go straighten your back and stretch reply to that text

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

Google got me crying at the club

plemp

@lyinginbedmon

sleep paralysis is honestly the most bullshit part of being a living thing. sometimes my brain just occasionally screws up and goes ????? uhhhh . cant move.  here’s a demon 

#once i had sleep paralysis but instead of there being something scary in my room there was just someone tossing salad at the foot of my bed

Gosh darn those polyamorous sluts. Cuddling and affectionately supporting each other. Practicing open communication and consent. Establishing their social and emotional wellbeing based on more than one romantic relationship. Existing in trusting, loving, safe relationships. Someone stop them.