Books and Brimstone

Author: Lauren Kate

Dates of reading: 29.03.-30.03.2024

Year published: 2009

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, YA

Page count: 464

Rating: 1/5

How I felt while reading

Confused and annoyed by Luce.  (Also see General Notes for live reactions)

How I felt after reading

I immediately called a friend to talk about this book and laugh about the silly parts XD I won’t be continuing the series but I’ll probably watch the movies. (Also see General Notes for live reactions)

Goodreads summary

There’s something achingly familiar about Daniel Grigori.

Mysterious and aloof, he captures Luce Price’s attention from the moment she sees him on her first day at the Sword & Cross boarding school in sultry Savannah, Georgia. He’s the one bright spot in a place where cell phones are forbidden, the other students are all screw-ups, and security cameras watch every move.

Even though Daniel wants nothing to do with Luce—and goes out of his way to make that very clear—she can’t let it go. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, she has to find out what Daniel is so desperate to keep secret… even if it kills her.

First sentence

Around midnight, her eyes at last took shape.

Last sentence

“Fight for the only thing she knew that was good enough, noble enough, powerful enough to be worth risking everything: Love.”

Favourite quote(s)

“It pains me to see a Vegetarian covered in meat. I’m very empathetic.” (Ok, I don’t like that she said that she’s empathetic. Could have left that out XD very much a Show Don’t Tell moment.)

“The woman gave Luz a ‘you look like the reading sort’ smile that Luz had been getting from Librarians all her life.” (Lmao, desperate attempt to make Luz relatable to readers? XD) 

“The saddest looking thing in the room was the glimpse Luce caught of herself in the full length mirror behind the door.”

“They both had a guy who was aggressively rude and uninterested in them.” (And yet, who they keep pursuing! For some reason!)

“‘You didn’t get either one of my notes? […] But I handed them to Todd to pass to Cam to pass to you.’ ‘Pony Express,’ Cam wedged his way in front of Penn and presented Luce with two folded scraps of paper held between his index and middle finger. ‘Give me a break! Did your horse die of exhaustion on the road?,’ Penn huffed, snagging the notes, ‘I gave you those like an hour ago. What took so long?’” (Ok, I actually love this interaction 😂)

“Cam ignored Mr. Cole and approached Luce’s mother, drawing her hand to his lips before anyone could even introduce them. ‘You must be Luce’s older sister,’ he said rakishly. To her left, Penn gagged into her elbow.” (SAME PENN SAME)

“It might be worth all this hell at Sword and Cross just to spend a little more time with Daniel. Just to see if anything might come of it.” (OMG WHAT THE HELL)

“He just gets me.” Does he? Name an example of when he got you

“‘Will you tell me what I am?’” (A vampire- no wait, wrong book) “‘You’re an angel’ […] surprised to see Daniel close his eyes and moan in pleasure.” (Ok- odd reaction-)

“In this lifetime you’re nothing more than you appear to be. A stupid, selfish, ignorant, spoiled little girl, who thinks the world lives or dies on whether she gets to go out with some good looking boy at school.” I’m sorry but I kind of agree 😭 

Setting

Savannah, Georgia (United States)

Main characters

Lucinda Price, Daniel Grigori, Cameron "Cam" Briel, Arriane Alter, Pennyweather "Penn" Van Syckle Lockwood, Roland Sparks, Gabrielle 'Gabbe' Givens, Mary Margaret 'Molly' Zane

Favourite character

Gabbie, just cause Luce keeps disrespecting her

Favourite scene

None of them- I'm sorry-

General notes/thoughts

(Notes I took while listening to the audiobook... completely out of context)

The idea of a reform school for criminals is interesting 

I wonder if Luce really is innocent 

Poor Gabby. She tried her best to help out of the kindness of her heart and all Luce did was assume the worst 😔 

Ok, so there’s some sort of time loop where Daniel and Luz keep meeting? But only Daniel really remembers?

I can’t believe Luce is already obsessed with Daniel 😭 even when he’s being an ass

ALSO IM JUST REMEMBERING THE PROLOGUE WHERE DANIEL SAYS HE KNEW A PAST VERSION OF LUCE WHEN SHE WAS A BABY- DOES THAT MEAN HE WATCHED HER GROW UP AND WAITED FOR HER TO BE OLD ENOUGH- CAUSE THAT'S GROSS

So far, the only thing I’m getting is that Luce’s only interest and only thing to talk about is guys. I don’t think this book would pass the Bechdel Test

Luce is what “Nice Guys” think women are like

Bloody hell, it’s a love triangle now

As always, with one option that is clearly healthier, but the protagonist obviously won’t choose

LUCE! YOU FINALLY HAD AN INTERESTING HOBBY (besides reading, because you have to be relatable) THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE OBSESSING OVER GUYS. YOU COULD HAVE WON THE SWIMMING RACE. YOU KNOW, DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. BUT NO. YOU HEARD THE NAME DANIEL AND YOU JUST HAD TO STOP. MY GOD. Way to show that the protagonist cares about a guy who’s been nothing but rude to her, and who she thinks is involved with another girl more than herself. Why not show that Luce is more than just who she’s interested in by her pushing forward through the race, instead of letting Gabbie or Daniel ruin it. AND THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY IT WAS GABBIE’S FAULT. NO, LUCE. IT WAS YOUR FAULT. YOU LET YOURSELF GET DISTRACTED. 

I’m just saying, if the roles were reversed and Daniel was a girl and Luce a guy, she would be seen as an absolute creep.

Oh my lord, Daniel really is her only priority, what on earth

Ohhh, hold on, is Cam dangerous? Why did Gabbie stop Luce from eating his figs?

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “Gabbie’s sudden kindness” SHES BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND THIS WHOLE TIME YOU JUST KEEP ASSUMING SHES SOME SORT OF MONSTER BECAUSE SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SPEAK TO THE BOYS YOURE INTERESTED IN?! HEY! NEWSFLASH! THEY ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY!

“A pink-lipped, blonde sedustress” OH MY FUCKING GOD LUCE YOU ARE SUCH A JEALOUS JERK THE ONLY REASON YOU DISLIKE GABBIE IS BECAUSE YOURE TOO INSECURE TO FATHOM THAT OTHER GIRLS ARE ALLOWED TO TALK TO GUYS

WHAT THE HELL DOES BEING BLONDE HAVE TO DO WITH IT OTHER THAN YOUR PROBABLY HELLA SEXIST AND PREJUDICE VIEW OF WOMEN (that we also see in the first chapter, when she can’t decide if the person introducing her to  the rules of the school is female or male and then shes like “definitely a woman, too catty to be a man” LIKE WHAT THE HELL) 

OH MY GOD LUCE GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D CHOOSE GOING SOMEWHERE WITH DANIEL OVER CALLING YOUR PARENTS OR BEST FRIEND WHICH YOU CAN ONLY DO ONCE A WEEK

So, you’re telling me Luce’s seemingly loving and worried parents sent her to a boarding school full of criminals without even having a look at the campus?

Pleaseee not Luce’s speech to Daniel about how academically successful she used to be and her academic interests 

Why’s this the first time we’re hearing of it? So far, the only thing you’ve shown real interest in is boys. Why haven’t we heard more about how much all your effort feels like a waste now that you’re stuck at Reformation school? Why do you act like your whole life is dependent on who is attracted to you? We’ve been told that she reads and likes maths in one-off sentences. But we haven’t seen it, have we? She hasn’t talked about any books she’s reading or the maths that she’s doing. What does she like to read? Fiction? Non-fiction? Horror? Romance? How does that influence her real life? The book tries so hard to make her relatable by making her a “nerd” but it doesn’t want to invest any time or effort actually showing that in her personality.

The book also can’t decide on Daniel’s personality. Is he closed off or does he keep wanting to pursue stolen moments with Luce? Is he ready to fight any threat of or is he anxious about dangers to come? Is he annoyed by Luce pursuing him or not? It doesn’t make sense. Yes, I know characters can have ambiguous feelings, but why the hell does Daniel go from being rude to Luce in one moment to sneaking her away to then running off again? Make up your mind. 

And seriously, what do they even like about each other? At least one moment where one smiles at what the other is doing (for example, a scene where you can tell that Daniel is enamoured by Luce’s competitiveness or Luce gets flustered at how observant Daniel is. You know, actual character traits. Love rather than lust. Not just “omg, he’s so hot.” But something like butterflies and heart flutters and subtle hand-holding.

The dumbest thing is: without the romance there would be no plot. But if you take out the unique concept that the book has (the school), the plot could still go on, pretty unchanged. It literally does not matter that the students are criminals.

The sad thing is, I love the idea of an immortal looking for their lover over and over again. I just don’t like this insincere and one-dimensional approach.

BAHAHA I love Daniel talking about all of Luce’s past lifetimes. Comes to show that this one has to be the least interesting and least romantic 

I love that Roland has a catalogue for all the things he smuggles 😂  

OMG ARE ALL THE STUDENTS ANGEL LMAO

THEY KILLED PENN WHAT THE HELL- THAT WAS LIKE- THE ONLY CHARACTER I WAS INTERESTED IN BESIDES GABBIE

MISS SOFIA WHAT THE HECK

If I had a penny for every time a love triangle book that I didn’t love ended with a twist villain trying to sacrifice the protagonist, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Ok, ngl, good foreshadowing on the whole “Luce can’t be reincarnated cause she’s not baptised” thing

“In this lifetime you’re nothing more than you appear to be. A stupid, selfish, ignorant, spoiled little girl, who thinks the world lives or dies on whether she gets to go out with some good looking boy at school.” I’m sorry but I kind of agree 😭 

It’s a shame. I feel like the book had more potential.

It really is a lot like twilight 

I’m not going to finish the series- but hey, it’s not the worst book I’ve read

Author: Veronica Roth

Dates of reading: 27.03.-29.03.2024

Year published: 2011

Genre: YA, Dystopia, Romance

Page count: 487

Rating: 2/5

How I felt while reading

Confused by the worldbuilding, but in a fun way where I just kept laughing at certain parts. (Also see General Notes for live reactions)

How I felt after reading

Sort of intrigued by the Cliffhanger but decided not to keep reading the series.  (Also see General Notes for live reactions)

Goodreads summary

In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.

During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.

First sentence

There is one mirror in my house. It is behind a sliding panel in the hallway upstairs. Our faction allows me to stand in front of it on the second day of every third month, the day my mother cuts my hair.

Last sentence

“I am no longer Tris the selfless or Tris the brave. I suppose that now I must become more than either.”

Favourite quote(s)

“I think my mother could have been beautiful in another world.” (ok- backhanded-)

“To live factionless is not just to live in poverty and discomfort. It is to live divorced from society. Separated from the most important thing in life. Community. […] Without a faction we have no purpose and no reason to live.”

“You display equal aptitude for abnegation, dauntless and erudite. People who get this kind of result are called… divergent.”

“Don’t you have pretty eyes. Too bad the rest of you is so plain.” (WHAT THE HELL)

“‘Every man has the right to choose his own way in this world.’ ‘Or… one of five predetermined ways.’”

“They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray […]. Those who blamed digression formed Amity. Those who blamed ignorance became the erudite. Those who blamed duplicity, created Candour. Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation. And those who blamed cowardice made the Dauntless.”

“Human reason can excuse any evil.”

“I want to hurt them. I want to so I will.” (Omg, I was not actually expecting her to be so brutal- Molly and the others kiiiinda had it coming though ngl; the towel scene was so creepy and gross).

“If Eric thinks I did something right, I must have done it wrong.”

“Have a piece of cake for me, alright? The chocolate. It’s delicious.”

“‘I think it’s important to protect people. To stand up for people. […] That’s what the Dauntless are supposed to do, right? That’s what courage is. Not hurting people for no reason.’ ‘I remember what Four told me. That teamwork used to be a Dauntless priority.’”

“Are you trying to manipulate us? […] By acting weak so we pity you? And then acting tough to psyche us out?” (It is kind of funny how quick the switch is)

“It isn’t right to wish harm on other people just because they hurt you first.” (Ok? Didn’t hear you saying that as you were beating up Molly. Make up your mind xD)

“It is more important to be safe than right for the time being.” (THATS ALWAYS IMPORTANT)

“‘Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing.’ ‘Well, I would only go if there was cake.’”

“That is what death is. Shifting from is to was.”

“My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how far I have to press.” WHAT THE SHIT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE HER LOVE INTEREST?!

“I think I want to put Peter’s hand in a bowl of warm water to make him pee tonight.” Interesting 

“Fear of confinement.” What a convenient way to get Tris and Four trapped in a small space! (You know what, I respect that they show Four not enjoying it because of claustrophobia)

“‘But you’re older than I am.’ ‘Yes, that whopping two year gap truly is insurmountable.’” (Ok, touché, but there’s still a feeling of power imbalance. It’s not the most problematic thing I’ve seen though (EXCEPT FOR THAT TIME HE SAID HE WANTS TO PUSH HER UNTIL SHE BREAKS))

“The first time I felt powerful in the Dauntless compound was when I was holding a gun.” (Oh noo) “I feel the same rush of power.” (Nooo, nooo, I don’t like that)

“‘We’ve all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don’t want to do that. I want to be brave and selfless and kind and honest.’”

“I’m factionless now.” LOOK AROUND YOU. EVERYONE IS AT WAR I DON'T THINK THE FACTIONS ARE REALLY SOMETHING YOU SHOULD WANT TO BE PART OF RIGHT NOW 

Setting

Chicago, Illinois (United States)

Main characters

Albert, Drew Leighton, Eric, Beatrice/Tris Prior, Peter, Caleb Prior, Natalie Prior, Molly Atwood, Christina, Jeanine Matthews, Marcus Eaton, Tobias/Four Eaton

Favourite character

Tris’s mum? Maybe?

Favourite scene

None of them?

General notes/thoughts

(Notes I took while listening to the audiobook... completely out of context)

The first scene is very reminiscent of Hunger Games: preparing for some big, serious event for “the faction” where the protagonist has to make herself presentable + “choosing ceremony"

Every dystopian novel I’ve read has people sorted in some way (into districts, into bubbles, into factions, …). Making it so that people can’t really contact the outside world, outside of whatever they were sorted into. (I think I might be wrong, but then I don’t understand why the decision is such a big deal, why would it mean her being split off from the family if the factions share a space?)

Why does the protagonist want to leave her family? D:

The test is interesting!

I’m curious as to why Divergence is seen as dangerous. Too many girlbosses?

:0000 the brother transferred to erudite

OK I'M SORRY BUT IT SEEMS LIKE DAUNTLESS IS THE ONLY FACTION WITH LUFETHREATENING TESTS

MAYBE DONT PICK DAUNTLESS??

Interesting that Beatrice chooses to change her name to Tris. I feel like there must be more to why she and her brother left her family? (Never mind, I get it, it’s because they were never allowed to self-indulge/enjoy themselves)

I seriously don’t get the worldbuilding- so, different factions share a school since they are said to have shared classes- and yet there are dauntless who already know the Dauntless school, even though they seem to be in the same grade- and even though if seems like once you leave the faction, you are cut off from your old faction, they still have shared spaces and are allowed to go outside?? And even though they share a school, somehow Tris doesn’t seem to be aware of the behaviour of other factions (like kissing in public)??

So, the scene where Christina has to hang from the railing: 1. Damnnn, so strong but 2. Why didn’t she try to use her legs to help hold her up??

Also, if anyone can choose any faction during the choosing and everyone has to go through the tests, what difference does being Divergent make? It’s not like only people who are “diagnosed” with the respective aptitude to pass the tests to join the faction, otherwise there wouldn’t be a choice.

I am seriously not appreciating Tris being judgy towards Al’s sensitivity >:0 just cause he looks strong does NOT mean he’s not allowed to be weak

I think the factions may be a metaphor for fitting in/belonging to a community? And then maybe Divergence is like the feeling that you don’t really belong anywhere/only one community? Seriously though, right now, I feel like Divergence has absolutely no impact on the plot 😂 

I was surprised when I realised Four is a love interest 💀 I assumed the age difference and/or power imbalance would be too big

I think it’s hilarious that Tris notices her muscles as if they appeared out of nowhere 

I feel like the factions are such a problematic idea because usually people (not just Divergents) show multiple traits. Like, selfless acts can be brave and being honest can mean being selfish. But maybe that’s the whole point. ALSO how on earth would the abnegation community work?? Someone has to be selfish, otherwise everyone would be giving to no one. I’m surprised that not more people are diagnosed as Divergent.

OH Is Four the son of Tris’s Dad’s colleague?

OH OH Tris’s mum used to be a Dauntless FOR SURE

Who are even the leaders of the factions?? Who keeps them separated? Why? Obviously, there’s still hostility between them, so it’s not creating peace

The writing is a bit weak sometimes 

Tris’s clothes suddenly not fitting after a shower because of her muscles

Lots of actions being ambiguous as to what faction they fit (like, they say that Tris’s idea of climbing up the Ferris wheel was Erudite, but isn’t it also Dauntless?)

And, for example, Tris being like “[I’m not ok with Al saying I can’t help him. I want to. But I’m powerless to.]” ok, so you are agreeing with him then

And I really don’t get the worldbuilding in regards to how the factions are separated. They act like there’s no contact between them and yet they share a school before initiation, so there’s obviously contact.

And more people should be Divergent. The characters themselves keep pointing out how the transfer students show traits of multiple factions.

WHAT THE HELL, AL, WHY ARE YOU HELPING PETER

I feel like Tris can’t decide if she loves or hates her home/Abnegation

I KNEW IT I KNEW FOUR WAS MARKUS’S SON

Maybe the factions are a metaphor for how 16 year olds are chosen to prove a career path FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE 

AT 16

Yeah, you can change career paths, but it’s not encouraged, and there’s so much pressure 

Tris is so judgy sometimes, especially towards the erudite 

TRIS YOUR BROTHER IS JUSTIFIABLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU. YOU SAY NOTHING HAPPEN AS YOU HAVE NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY PUSHED TO YOUR LIMITS AND ALMOST KILLED

Tris can’t decide if she’s selfish or selfless

I respect that even though Al had a crush on Tris, there isn’t a love triangle. Tris only likes Four and I like it that way.

Dude, is Tris stupid?? She knows that her manipulating the simulations is what made Four realise she’s Divergent. She knows her initiation test is being watched. Why would she try to manipulate her simulations again?? She’s going to give herself away. Also?? Before, we were told that facing your fears is like swimming down when scared of drowning. But Tris isn’t facing her fears by doing whatever she’s scared of. She’s just combatting the fear by making it go away (like making it rain when on fire- shouldn’t she be letting herself burn to face the fear?) It doesn’t make sense that her facing her fear to kill her family means letting herself die?! Shouldn’t facing that fear mean killing her family? She’s just avoiding her fears.

Nah, cause her having to face the fear of affection from Four in front of the testers is so embarrassing 😭 

NOOO DONT KISS FOUR IN PUBLIC GOD THATS SO EMBARRASSING XD

Oh god, everyone being controlled in their sleep is so scary-

Nah, cause how does being divergent stop the high-tech injection from controlling you? They keep talking about divergence like it’s some sort of magical superpower, but it just means they have multiple strengths at the same level X,D that level could be hella weak/you could be equally bad at all virtues, and still be divergent 

Oh my god, the image of them starting a war with mind controlled soldiers forced to kill is horrifying

This book hates intellectuals 

OMG MUM TO THE RESCUE

So, basically Divergent people are harder to manipulate? Idk, the description of Divergent people just makes it sound like everyone who isn’t divergent is 1-dimensional 

I can’t believe they killed the mum right after making her interesting 

OH MY GOD YOU KILLED WILL. WHY DIDN'T YOU AIM FOR HIS LEG. IT WAS NOT HIM OR YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHOT ERIC IN THE FOOT BUT WILL IN THE HEAD.

“I’m factionless now.” LOOK AROUND YOU. EVERYONE IS AT WAR I DON'T THINK THE FACTIONS ARE REALLY SOMETHING YOU SHOULD WANT TO BE PART OF RIGHT NOW 

Oh my god, Tris, can you STOP bashing Al’s suicide. You don’t have to compare it to how your mother died. Literally who cares if it was brave or not.

Babe, obviously you said “them” instead of us. It’s not because of how you identify. It’s because you’re not being mind-controlled. So the people being controlled are “them”.

Honestly, I don’t mind the story too much. I can imagine finishing the series and not hating it. But I’m not invested enough. I don’t have a favourite character to root for, and the concept just feels like something I’ve seen before in each Dystopia where there are separated societies and corruption and jealous love interests and competition leading to torture + abuse framed as normal and genocide and a badass and yet innocent protagonist who challenges the government.

Maybe I’m biased because of Divergent’s reputation.

Author: Casey McQuiston

Dates of reading: 23.03.-28.03.2024

Year published: 2019

Genre: Romance, LGBT, Fiction

Page count: 423

Rating: 4/5

How I felt while reading

From curious and slightly sceptical to fangirling to shocked and slightly uncomfortable to invested and rooting for Alex and Henry.

How I felt after reading

Well, what I wrote down when I finished was a crying emoji and then “I was a bit worried in the middle, when it was basically just a chain of horniness and sex but they came back to the plot and they DELIVERED”. I was so touched by Alex and Henry going to the house at the end 😭 and I was invested in Alex and Henry’s love story and having to push through being exposed. I didn’t think I would care much about the presidential election. But once the influence of Alex and Henry’s public reputation, Alex’s hope for Texas’s vote and the shadiness of what’s-his-name came in, I was INVESTED.

Goodreads summary

First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations. The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince.

As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?

First sentence

“On the White House roof, tucked into a corner of the Promenade, there's a bit of loose paneling right on the edge of the Solarium.”

Last sentence

“Just a house where Alex grew up. Where he saw Henry’s picture in a magazine and felt a flicker of something. A start. ‘Hey,’ Alex says […] ‘we won.’ Henry takes his hand […]: ‘Yeah. We won.’ Alex reaches down into the front of his dress shirt and finds the chain with his fingers. Pulls it out carefully. The ring. The key. Under winter clouds, victorious, he unlocks the door.” 😭 

Favourite quote(s)

“Rule Number 1: Don’t Get Caught”

“Both convinced they were the smartest in any room. Alex has since conceited Nora is 100% smarter than him and definitely too smart to have ever dated him. […] So if he and Nora occasionally get drunk in hotel rooms together watching the west wing and making loud moaning noises at the wall for the benefit of noisy tabloids he can’t be blamed really.”

“It’s as sexy as a business transaction […]. Alex’s kind of love story is much more Shakespearean.”

“‘Sorry I’m not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you.’ ‘Do you know what? I think you are.’”

“As your mother I can appreciate that this maybe this isn’t your fault. But as the president all I want is to have the CIA fake your death […].”

“‘You’re leaving Saturday and spending Sunday in England.’ ‘Is it too late to take the faking my death option?’”

“He has the personality of a cabbage!”

“If someone asks you about him I want to hear you gush like he’s your fucking prom date.” I have a feeling it’s gonna become a little too convincing 😂 

“‘Remember how we sometimes talk about things that are not about you?’ ‘Yeah. Weirdly.’”

“The familiar comfort of antagonism.”

“‘You wound me.’ ‘You exhaust me.’ ‘I enchant you!’ ‘I’ll call security.’ ‘Fair enough.’”

“‘Put the turkeys in my room.’ ‘No.’ ‘Put them in my room. Put them in my room. Put them in my room.’ That night, as Alex stares into the old, pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he had a few regrets. ‘They know,’ he texts Henry, ‘they know I have robbed them of 5 star accommodations.’”

“‘My sister’s idiot cat […] is trying to steal my jaffa cakes.” 1. Get the jaffa cakes to safety! 2. I don’t appreciate Henry not liking cats

“Straight people probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.”

“Oh my god, how are you so smart and so dumb at the same time?”

“But I- I wonder. Dad wonders sometimes. Alex, you don’t have to wonder. You don’t have to be our parents. You can keep Henry and figure the rest out.”

“And right now I’m looking for a dream that’s better too.”

“And through it all, Alex realises with a start: he has friends now.”

“Have you ever read Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens? […] His letters to Laurens are almost as romantic as his letters to his wife. Half of them are signed ‘Yours’ or ‘Affectionately yours’.”

“The single phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

“Alex is so in love he could die.”

“‘Sorry, I was looking for someone else. Handsome, petulant, short, not pleasant until after 10am.’”

“‘You carry too much.’ [Alex’s] instinct has always been to shoot back ‘no, I don’t’ or ‘I want to’. But he bites it back and says: ‘I know.’” 😭 

“‘I’ll leave. I’ll leave as soon as you tell me to leave.’ ‘Alex.’ ‘Tell me you’re done with me […]. Just say it.’ ‘Fuck you,’ Henry says, his voice breaking. And he gets a handful of Alex’s shirt collar and Alex knows he’s going to love this stubborn shithole forever.” Omg 😭 

“He keeps waking up in DC and Henry keeps waking up in London and the whole world keeps waking up to talk about them being in love with other people.”

“‘Do you feel forever about him?’ ‘Yeah, I do.’”

“[…] he sees them. June, her hair in haphazard knot on the top of her head, in a pink bathrobe, her eyes rimmed red. His mom in a sharp, no nonsense black dress and pointed heels. Leo, barefoot in his pyjamas. And his dad, a leather duffel still hanging off one shoulder, looking harried and exhausted. […] A sound escapes his throat uninvited. […] And June has him first. Then the rest of them. Arms and arms and hands and hands, pulling him close and touching his face and moving him until he’s on the floor. […] And thinking distantly that he’s having a panic attack. And that’s why he can’t breathe. […] And knowing why his lungs won’t work doesn’t make them work again!”

“‘I’m rooting for you, ok?’ ‘Wait, oh my god, Zara, I just realised: you’re my friend!’ ‘No, I’m not.’ ‘Zara! You’re my mean friend!’ ‘Am not.’”

“And the whole world watched. And History remembered.”

“They made it. Alex said they would. He promised.”

Themes & tropes

Enemies to lovers, LQBTQ+, politics and its effect on families in power, arc words (“History, huh?”), long distance, love vs. duty, secret relationship

Setting

Washington, D.C. (United States), London, England (United Kingdom, 2020)

Main characters (summaries from sparknotes.com)

Alex Claremont-Diaz (The president’s son and the novel’s protagonist. A rising political star in his early twenties, Alex spends most of his early life singularly focused on achieving his goal of becoming the youngest Congressman ever elected. Alex is daring, passionate, impatient, and restless)

Prince Henry (The Prince of England and Alex's romantic interest. Closeted by his family and his duty to his royal legacy),

Rafael Luna (A friend of the Claremont-Diaz family and a gay US senator), June Claremont-Diaz (The president’s daughter and Alex’s sister. An aspiring writer and journalist), Nora Holleran (A data genius and Alex’s and June’s closest friend), Ellen Claremont (The first female President of the United States and Alex and June’s mother), Oscar Diaz (A US senator and Alex and June’s father), Zahra (The president’s deputy chief of staff), Pez (The prince’s best friend), Bea (Henry’s supportive sister and a recovering drug addict), Jeffrey Richards (Ellen’s opponent in the presidential race and the antagonist of the novel), Shaan Srivastava (Prince Henry’s equerry and Zahra’s partner), Phillip (Henry’s not-so-supportive older brother), Queen Mary, Catherine (Henry’s mother), David (Henry’s beagle)

Favourite character

Henry

Favourite scene

Alex and Henry’s FaceTime calls <3 they’re so cute, Alex realises he loves Henry enough for it to be a “forever” decision, the public’s support for Alex and Henry being revealed (honestly, a lot of the things in the book were a little unrealistic. And the fact that it’s unrealistic is depressing because it should be realistic. Like having a divorced, female president with Latino children, one of whom turns out to be bi. It’s depressing that my first thought was that something like that might never happen >:( I hope it does.)

General notes/thoughts

(Notes I took while listening to the audiobook... completely out of context)

LMAO NOT HENRY AND ALEX FALLING INTO THE ROYAL WEDDING CAKE 😭 CANT KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER

I can’t believe the thing that starts their bonding is Star Wars 😭 I know it’s more about Alex realising that Henry also feels the pressure of having to appear publicly but we all know it’s really Star Wars

Ok, unexpectedly I kind of love Henry and Alex’s dynamic of teasing each other and so clearly remember what the other likes and midnight talks

OH MY GOD THEY'RE DANCING TOGETHER (never mind, Alex is being too wild for Henry)

POOR HENRY WATCHING ALEX AND NORA MAKE OUT

AHHHH OMG IM SCREAMING ALEX YOU DUMMY HENRY IS GAYYYY

OMG IM SCREACHING THE KISS OMG OMG OMG

HOLY SHIT I DIDNT REALISE ALEX THINKS HES STRAIGHT 

I love Nora being like “how the hell did you not know Henry was gay??” and then like “how the hell did you not realise you were into Henry?!” Awww poor Alex 😭 he’s so distraught and confused, lil baby having a bi crisis

ALEX YOU CANT BE UPSET AT HENRY FOR DOING THE SAME THING WITH ANOTHER GIRL AS YOU DID WITH NORA

MY JEALOUS BABY YOURE SO DENSE SOMETIMES 

Yooo, Alex went from confused bi baby to aggressively horny in no time

Hold up- are we about to have an actual sex scene- Surely not- YO YO YO YO HOLD ON IS THAT ALLOWED IS THAT ALLOWED IS THAT ALLOWED WHAT BLOODY HELL- I MEAN ITS SWEET AND ALL BUT I FEEL LIKE IM INTRUDING ON A PRIVATE MOMENT 

Ok, now they’re just constantly being horny 💀 it suddenly feels like Wattpad

LMAO NOT PRINCE HENRY SINGING QUEEN IN (if I heard right) A GAY BAR

You would think Alex and Henry would be more careful about emailing and messaging each other about sex 😂 sounds like solid blackmail material 

I like that Alex genuinely cares about making a difference and using his political influence to better the world (i.e. he has interests and a personality outside of Henry)

The characters use clearly young and modern language (similar to how I talk to my friends) 

It seems so weird seeing it in a book and hearing the grown man reading the audiobook saying it. It seems so unserious 😂 I don’t mind it too much but I do cringe at it every now and then. I think that’s just me being used to older books.

Alex’s mum’s reaction to Alex coming out is priceless- So supportive and yet so professional and straightforward at the same time

ALEX IS NAMED AFTER ALEXANDER HAMILTON BLOODY HELL

Bloody hell- they’re so horny- I think I prefer fluff? I guess I can relate to the feeling more?

Omg, Henry’s storytelling interpretation of his life and how he met Alex 😭 

Alex, June and Nora feel like the type of people I would like but wouldn’t be friends with or at least wouldn’t fully understand because they are too party-oriented and I’m too nerdy/introverted 😂 then again, I guess 

HENRY CALLING ALEX LOVE 😭 

NOOOO HENRY DONT RUN AWAY FROM ALEX LOVE CONFESSION 😭 

Awwww, Alex’s list of all the things he loves about Henry 😭 ❤️

OF COURSE THEIR EMAILS GOT LEAKED OH MY GOD (I feel so bad for them)

Oh god, I can’t- Not them being caught kissing because they can be seen through the windshield despite the tinted windows 😭 

HELL YEAH HENRY!! YOU TELL PHILLIP (I love his speech about how the family is fine with centuries of murder and colonisation and so on but not with him being gay)

😭 I love the scene where Bea shows the News report of people showing support for Alex and Henry and celebrating pride AND THEN THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE PALACE OH MY GOD

HELL YEAH RAFFAEL LUNA YOU GOOO WHOOP WHOOP (I’m very happy about him leaking Richards’ emails illegally ordering to have Alex stalked and outed)

OMG RICHARDS IS SUCH A DISGUSTING, BLACKMAILING, PREDATORY PRICK

I like the scene about how much it meant to women when Alex’s mum got voted as president; to have the first female president; bloody depressing it’s not a reality yet

OMG ALEX AND HENRY ARE SO CUTE 😭HENRYS TIEEEE

I am invested in this fictional presidential election

Author: Harper Lee

Dates of reading: 12.03.-23.03.2024

Year published: 1960

Genre: Classics, Fiction, coming of age + courtroom drama

Page count: 323

Rating: 5/5

How I felt while reading: Invested. I loved Atticus, he’s such a good dad. I loved Jem and Scout, and I feel like they are realistically flawed, which was nice. Constantly looking out for symbolism and foreshadowing. Pissed off and disappointed (in the racist characters not the book) during the Bob Ewell plotline.

How I felt after reading: Satisfied. Excited about Boo Radley’s reveal and glad that he killed Bob Ewell.

Short summary (from online): Scout Finch and her older brother, Jem live in sleepy Maycomb, spending much of their time with their friend Dill and spying on their reclusive and mysterious neighbor, Boo Radley. When Atticus, their widowed father and a respected lawyer, defends a black man named Tom Robinson against fabricated rape charges, the trial and tangent events expose the children to evils of racism and stereotyping.

First sentence: When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.

Last sentence: He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning.

Favourite quote(s): „Inside the house lived a malevolent phantom. People said he existed, but Jem and I had never seen him. People said he went out at night when the moon was down, and peeped in windows. When people’s azaleas froze in a cold snap, it was because he had breathed on them. Any stealthy small crimes committed in Maycomb were his work.“

„Besides, Jem had his little sister to think of. When he said that, I knew he was afraid.“

„“Turtles can’t feel, stupid,” said Jem. “Were you ever a turtle, huh?”“

„she discovered that I was literate and looked at me with more than faint distaste.“

“There’s some folks who don’t eat like us,” she whispered fiercely, “but you ain’t called on to contradict ’em at the table when they don’t.“

„but as I inched sluggishly along the treadmill of the Maycomb County school system, I could not help receiving the impression that I was being cheated out of something. Out of what I knew not, yet I did not believe that twelve years of unrelieved boredom was exactly what the state had in mind for me.“

„What Mr. Radley did might seem peculiar to us, but it did not seem peculiar to him.“

„“The world’s endin’, Atticus! Please do something—!” I dragged him to the window and pointed. “No it’s not,” he said. “It’s snowing.”“

„Miss Maudie looked around, and the shadow of her old grin crossed her face. “Always wanted a smaller house, Jem Finch. Gives me more yard. Just think, I’ll have more room for my azaleas now!”“ (after her house burned down 😭)

“Well, in the first place you never stopped to gimme a chance to tell you my side of it—you just lit right into me. When Jem an’ I fuss Atticus doesn’t ever just listen to Jem’s side of it, he hears mine too.“

„Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when anything involving a Negro comes up, is something I don’t pretend to understand . . . I just hope that Jem and Scout come to me for their answers instead of listening to the town.“

“Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

“Well, most folks seem to think they’re right and you’re wrong. . . .” “They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for their opinions,” said Atticus, “but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”

“A few graves in the cemetery were marked with crumbling tombstones; newer ones were outlined with brightly colored glass and broken Coca-Cola bottles. Lightning rods guarding some graves denoted dead who rested uneasily; stumps of burned-out candles stood at the heads of infant graves. It was a happy cemetery.”

“When Aunt Alexandra went to school, self-doubt could not be found in any textbook, so she knew not its meaning.”

“You’re not a boy. Boys get out and play baseball with other boys, they don’t hang around the house worryin’ their folks.” Dill’s voice was his own again: “Oh, they ain’t mean. They kiss you and hug you good night and good mornin’ and goodbye and tell you they love you—Scout.”

“I sought once more for a familiar face, and at the center of the semi-circle I found one. “Hey, Mr. Cunningham.””

“Then he did a peculiar thing. He squatted down and took me by both shoulders. “I’ll tell him you said hey, little lady,” he said. Then he straightened up and waved a big paw. “Let’s clear out,” he called. “Let’s get going, boys.””

“a big nineteenth-century clock tower housing a rusty unreliable instrument, a view indicating a people determined to preserve every physical scrap of the past.”

“”You’re left-handed, Mr. Ewell,” said Judge Taylor.“

“I wondered if anybody had ever called her “ma’am” or “Miss Mayella” in her life; probably not, as she took offense to routine courtesy. What on earth was her life like?”

“As Tom Robinson gave his testimony, it came to me that Mayella Ewell must have been the loneliest person in the world. She was even lonelier than Boo Radley, who had not been out of the house in twenty-five years.”

“Tom’s predicament: he would not have dared strike a white woman under any circumstances and expect to live long, so he took the first opportunity to run—a sure sign of guilt.”

“Cry about the simple hell people give other people—without even thinking. Cry about the hell white people give colored folks, without even stopping to think that they’re people, too.”

“In our courts, when it’s a white man’s word against a black man’s, the white man always wins. They’re ugly, but those are the facts of life.”

““That’s what I thought, too,” he said at last, “when I was your age. If there’s just one kind of folks, why can’t they get along with each other? If they’re all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other? Scout, I think I’m beginning to understand something. I think I’m beginning to understand why Boo Radley’s stayed shut up in the house all this time . . . it’s because he wants to stay inside.””

“in her distraction, Aunty brought me my overalls. “Put these on, darling,” she said, handing me the garments she most despised.”

“Bob Ewell’s lyin’ on the ground under that tree down yonder with a kitchen knife stuck up under his ribs.”

“His lips parted into a timid smile, and our neighbor’s image blurred with my sudden tears. “Hey, Boo,” I said.”

““Well, it’d be sort of like shootin’ a mockingbird, wouldn’t it?” Atticus put his face in my hair and rubbed it. When he got up and walked across the porch into the shadows, his youthful step had returned. Before he went inside the house, he stopped in front of Boo Radley. “Thank you for my children, Arthur,” he said.”

“He gently released my hand, opened the door, went inside, and shut the door behind him. I never saw him again. Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor. He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of good-luck pennies, and our lives.”

“To the left of the brown door was a long shuttered window. I walked to it, stood in front of it, and turned around. In daylight, I thought, you could see to the post office corner.”

“Atticus was right. One time he said you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them. Just standing on the Radley porch was enough.”

“”Atticus, he was real nice. . . .” His hands were under my chin, pulling up the cover, tucking it around me. “Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.””

Themes & tropes: Racism, prejudice, justice, abuse, very young protagonist/narrator looking back on childhood, revenge, corruption, different lifestyles and respect for each other, foreshadowing, irredeemable villain, gentle giant (Boo Radley), good parenting, humans are flawed, dead parent, no good deed goes unpunished, known by nickname only, tomboy

Setting: Maycomb, Alabama (United States, 1933)

Main characters: Scout Finch, Atticus Finch, Jem Finch, Arthur Radley, Mayella Ewell, Aunt Alexandra, Bob Ewell, Calpurnia, Tom Robinson, Miss Maudie Atkinson, Judge John Taylor, Dill Harris, Heck Tate, Stephanie Crawford

Favourite character: Atticus

Author: Matt Haig

Dates of reading: 20.03.-22.03.2024

Year published: 2020

Genre: Fantasy, Philosophy

Page count: 288

Rating: 3/5

Goodreads summary

Between life and death there is a library, and within that library, the shelves go on forever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be if you had made other choices . . . Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets? A novel about all the choices that go into a life well lived.

Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?

Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

First sentence

„19 years before she decided to die Nora Seed sat in the warmth of the small library at Hazeldean school in the town of Bedford.“

Last sentence

„And Nora smiled as she stared at all the pieces she still had left in play thinking about her next move.“

Favourite quote(s)

„You lose your job then more shit happen.“

„The world‘s smallest violin is playing“ WHAT THE HELL DUDE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN HER LIFE

„… hours before she decided to die.“ (I’m always worried about books about people who kill themselves. It’s such a sensitive topic and so important to take seriously without making it look like something desirable. I appreciate that this book didn’t describe how Nora killed herself (never mind, we’re told she overdosed). But I also feel like the book makes it seem so harmless.)

„Every move had been a mistake. Every decision a disaster. Every day a retreat from who she imagined she’d be. Swimmer, musician, philosopher, spouse, traveler, glaciologist, happy, loved. Nothing. She couldn’t even manage „cat-owner“ or „one hour a week piano tutor“ or „human capable of conversation“.

„Between life and death there is a library. And within that library, the shelves go on forever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be different if you had made other choices. Would you have done anything different? If you had the chance to undo your regrets.“ 

„You don’t go to Death. Death comes to you.“

The book of regrets —> Nora has A LOT (I do think that a part of why so many were listed is because the author wanted the readers to be able to relate to at least one). —> „Close the book. Not just your eyes. Close it. You have to do it yourself.“ (interesting as a metaphor)

„She‘d forgotten how often during their relationship Dan‘s humour had hinged on other people, specifically her.“ UH OH MAYBE BREAKING UP ISNT A REGRET AFTER ALL

„A person was like a city. You couldn’t let a few less desirable parts put you off the whole. There may be bits you don’t like. A few dodgy side streets and suburbs but the good stuff makes it worth while.“

„But she knew that staying in Bedford was the worse option. And yet she picked it. Because of some strange predictive homesickness that festered alongside a depression that told her ultimately she didn’t deserve to be happy.“

„Do you ever think: how did I end up here? Like you’re in a maze and you’re totally lost and it’s all your fault because you are the one who made every turn? And you know that there are many routes that could have helped you out because you hear all the people on the outside of the maze who made it through and they’re laughing and smiling. And sometimes you get a glimpse of them through the hedge. A glimpsing shape through the leaves. And they seem so damn happy to have made it. And you don’t resent them. But you do resent yourself for not having their ability to work it all out. Do you? Or is this maze just for me?“

„A tattoo of a phoenix in flames“ awww a depression recovery tattoo (never mind, it was probably more of a survival tattoo)

„The rook is my favourite piece. It’s the one that you don’t think you have to watch out for. It is straightforward. You keep your eye on the queen and the knights and the bishop because they are the sneaky ones. But it’s the rook that often gets you. The straightforward is never quite what it seems.“

„How did you do that?“ „I have no idea.“

„Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fucking fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!“

„And it became astoundingly clear to her. Finally, in that moment: she didn’t want to die.“

„She had loved her parents more than she ever knew. And right then, she forgave them completely.“

„It was strange how shocking it was to realise that Ryan Bailey was a human being in a human body that generated gas.“

„I think it’s easy to imagine there are easier paths. […] But maybe there are no easy paths. […] There is no life where you can be in a state of sheer happiness forever. And imagining there is just breathes more unhappiness into the life you’re in.“

„Two roads diverge in a wood / And I / I took the one less travelled by / And that has made all the difference  -Robert Frost“

„She could have been all of those amazing things. And that wasn’t depressing. […] She didn’t need a vineyard or a Calefornian sunset to be happy. She didn’t even need a large house or a perfect family. She just needed potential. And she was nothing if not potential. He wondered why she had never seen it before.“

„A Thing I Have Learned - written by a nobody who used to be everybody: It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents. Said yes to different options. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astoutly, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia and said yes to the cooffe. Or done more bloody yoga. It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make. And the work we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not diff to see yourself through the lens of other people and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret. And keep regretting at infinitum until our lives run out. But it is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It is the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy. We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening. It is true. But you are happening as well. And that is the happening we have to focus on. Of course we can’t visit every place or meet every person or do every job. Yet most of what we’d feel in any life is still available. We don’t have to play every game to know what winning feels like. […]“

„It was interesting […] how life sometimes simply gave you a whole new perspective by waiting around long enough for you to see it.“

„She wasn’t a black hole, she decided, she was a volcano. And like a volcano she couldn’t run away from herself. She’d have to stay there and tend to that wasteland. She could plant a forest inside herself.“

Themes & tropes

Chess metaphor, life and death, regrets, moving on, loneliness, love, living the life to the fullest, forgiveness

Setting

Bedford, Bedfordshire, England (United Kingdom) (also Australia, Antarctic, Mexico, …)

Main characters

Nora Seed, Mrs Louise Isabel Elm (Librarian at Nora’s childhood school and in the Midnight Library), Ash, Joe (Nora’s brother), Ravi (Joe’s friend and member of The Labyrinths band), Dan (Nora’s ex-fiance), Izzy (Nora’s best friend who lives in Australia), Leo (Nora’s piano student), Mr. Banerjee (Nora’s elderly neighbor), Geoff (Nora’s dad), Hugo Lefèvre (another slider like Nora whom Nora meets in Svalbard), Joanna (band manager in Nora’s life where she is in a wildly successful band, Ryan Bailey, Dylan (Nora’s boyfriend in one of her lives)

Favourite character

I don’t know. There wasn’t really a character that I was fully in love with… I liked the scenes where Nora’s brother was there? And Ash seemed nice too.

Favourite scene

Nora saying goodbye to her life where she has a family with Ash

General notes/How I felt while/after reading

(notes I took while listening to the audiobook... completely out of context)

I’m not sure I like the writing style. It’s trying too hard to be relatable. (It might also be the audiobook‘s way of reading that I don’t like.) (it gives me wine mom vibes)

Not sure I like the „fired because my (wither shitty or well-meaning boss) says I’m not living up to my full potential“ trope

I do really like the concept of the Midnight Library

The book of regrets —> Nora has A LOT (I do think that a part of why so many were listed is because the author wanted the readers to be able to relate to at least one). —> „Close the book. Not just your eyes. Close it. You have to do it yourself.“ (interesting as a metaphor)

I really hope the book doesn’t end with the moral that if you kill yourself you get everything you want.

I can’t believe they were legit just like „if you had gone to Australia with Izzy SHE WOULD HAVE DIED“

Great idea to make Nora think her best friend would die because of her 

AND THEN THEY SAY HER DAD WOULD HAVE SURVIVED IF NORA HAD FOLLOWED HIS DREAM

And she’s depressed in every life

I enjoyed the description of how her physical health and fitness differed in each life

I enjoyed the book. But I think I enjoyed it more as an experience because I listened to it as an audiobook than I would have if I had read it with my eyes. I feel like I spent the right amount of time and effort on it for my ideal experience. (Lmao, never mind, I thought I was done but I’m only halfway through)

LMAO SEX WITH HUGO WAS SO BAD THAT IT SENT HER BACK TO THE LIBRARY AFTER FIVE DAYS

It was sweet seeing the big differences Nora made with things she did she though weren’t important in her root life (helping Mr. Banegees (The old guy) meaning he didn’t have to go to a care home, her piano lessons helping Leo improve other parts of his life and not become a criminal)

Nora realising she’ll be leaving her life with Ash and Molly behind was devastating 😭 

AWWW SHE WENT TO SEE MISS ELM AND PLAY CHESS WITH HER

In my mind, it is completely canon that Nora did in fact ask Ash out and that it went well

Author: J.M. Barrie

Dates of reading: 12.03.-15.03.2024

Year published: 1911

Genre: Fantasy, Children, Adventure

Page count: 140

Rating: 4/5

How I felt while reading: Regularly cringing at the racism and sexism that comes with this book being so old. But there were some fun parts despite that. I liked Hook and Smee and I liked the Darlings and I thought it was hilarious how annoyed the narrator was with the children. I was surprised how accurate the Disney movie is (some differences, but I was expecting more).

How I felt after reading: Sad that Wendy grew up. The idea of growing up scares me a bit. I was sad that she can’t ever go back to Neverland :( ALTHOUGH gotta say I didn’t appreciate that the only reason Peter wanted to take the girls with him was to CLEAN FOR HIM >:0 

Goodreads summary: The enchanting story of a boy who wouldn’t grow up and the girl he promised to always remember  One magical night, the Darling children­­––Wendy, John, and Michael––are visited by two mischievous denizens of Neverland, an island of the imagination where pirates prowl the Mermaids’ Lagoon and fairies live so long as children believe in them. Peter Pan and his loyal, lightning-quick companion, Tinker Bell, have come for Peter’s shadow, captured the previous night by Nana, the children’s Newfoundland nanny. The pair leaves not just with the shadow, but with Wendy and her brothers, as well, whisking them away to Neverland to join the Lost Boys in their war against the evil Captain Hook.

First sentence: All children, except one, grow up.

Last sentence: As you look at Wendy, you may see her hair becoming white, and her figure little again, for all this happened long ago. Jane is now a common grown-up, with a daughter called Margaret; and every spring cleaning time, except when he forgets, Peter comes for Margaret and takes her to the Neverland, where she tells him stories about himself, to which he listens eagerly. When Margaret grows up she will have a daughter, who is to be Peter's mother in turn; and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.

Favourite quote(s): „but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.“

„so, of course, they had a nurse. As they were poor, owing to the amount of milk the children drank, this nurse was a prim Newfoundland dog, called Nana.“

„It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day.“

„Peter Pan who was said to live with the fairies. There were odd stories about him, as that when children died he went part of the way with them, so that they should not be frightened.“

“You see, Wendy, when the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”

„Will they reach the nursery in time? If so, how delightful for them, and we shall all breathe a sigh of relief, but there will be no story. On the other hand, if they are not in time, I solemnly promise that it will all come right in the end.“

„On this evening the chief forces of the island were disposed as follows. The lost boys were out looking for Peter, the pirates were out looking for the lost boys, the redskins were out looking for the pirates, and the beasts were out looking for the redskins. They were going round and round the island, but they did not meet because all were going at the same rate.“

„If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one, you may see at times a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours suspended in the darkness; then if you squeeze your eyes tighter, the pool begins to take shape, and the colours become so vivid that with another squeeze they must go on fire. But just before they go on fire you see the lagoon. This is the nearest you ever get to it on the mainland, just one heavenly moment; if there could be two moments you might see the surf and hear the mermaids singing.“

„Peter was not quite like other boys; but he was afraid at last. A tremour ran through him, like a shudder passing over the sea; but on the sea one shudder follows another till there are hundreds of them, and Peter felt just the one. Next moment he was standing erect on the rock again, with that smile on his face and a drum beating within him. It was saying, “To die will be an awfully big adventure.”“

„Well, not only could they not understand each other, but they forgot their manners. “I—want—you—to—get—into—the—nest,” the bird called, speaking as slowly and distinctly as possible, “and—then—you—can—drift—ashore, but—I—am—too—tired—to—bring—it—any—nearer—so—you—must—try to—swim—to—it.” “What are you quacking about?” Peter answered. “Why don't you let the nest drift as usual?” “I—want—you—” the bird said, and repeated it all over. Then Peter tried slow and distinct. “What—are—you—quacking—about?” and so on.“

„“Long ago,” he said, “I thought like you that my mother would always keep the window open for me, so I stayed away for moons and moons and moons, and then flew back; but the window was barred, for mother had forgotten all about me, and there was another little boy sleeping in my bed.”“

„Odd things happen to all of us on our way through life without our noticing for a time that they have happened.“

„“Pan, who and what art thou?” he cried huskily. “I'm youth, I'm joy,” Peter answered at a venture, “I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg.”“

„“O George, never ask me to do that. The window must always be left open for them, always, always.”“

„Thus Wendy and John and Michael found the window open for them after all, which of course was more than they deserved.“

„Wendy was grown up. You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up.“

Themes & tropes: childhood, growing up, imagination, ambiguous innocence, the danger of both being too childish and too grown up, immortality/character that will never grow up, magic world hidden in the real world, mermaids, pirates… racism

Setting: London, England (United Kingdom, 1911) + Neverland 

Main characters: Peter Pan, The Twins, John Darling, Michael Darling, James Hook, Smee, Nibs, Tootles, Slightly, Curly, Tinker Bell, Wendy Darling

Favourite character: Nana

Favourite scene: Peter and a bird desperately trying to communicate + Peter vs. Hook showdown + The darlings always leaving the window open

Author: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Dates of reading: 12.03.2024

Year published: 1943

Genre: Fantasy, Children, Philosophy

Page count: 96

Rating: 5/5

How I felt while reading: Delighted, cozy, happy. I love how cute and wholesome the story is! I was really interested in the Little Prince as a character and the theme of childhood and innocence, and not understanding grown-ups.

How I felt after reading: Analytical about what happened to the Little Prince (what his death meant, if it was actually supposed to be a death, …) and really touched by the last line: I adore the trope of two friends being unable to keep in contact cause one is some sort of spiritual being and the mortal one waiting for and looking forward to their return ToT. It almost made me cry ToT <333

Short summary (mixed Goodreads and me): A pilot stranded in the desert awakes one morning to see, standing before him, the most extraordinary little fellow. "Please," asks the stranger, "draw me a sheep." And the pilot realizes that when life's events are too difficult to understand, there is no choice but to succumb to their mysteries. He pulls out pencil and paper... And thus begins this wise and enchanting fable that, in teaching the secret of what is really important in life, has changed forever the world for its readers. The Little Prince tells the stories of his adventure. How he left his small planet and his beloved rose and met a king, a conceited man, a tippler, a business man, a lamplighter, a geographer, and a snake. And lastly, the narrator.

First sentence: Once when I was six years old I saw a very beautiful picture in a book, called True Stories from Nature, about the primeval forest. It was a picture of a boa constrictor in the act of swallowing an animal.

Last sentence: Look at it carefully so that you will be sure to recognize it in case you travel some day to the African desert. And, if you should come upon this spot, please do not hurry on. Wait for a time, exactly under the star. Then, if a little man appears who laughs, who has golden hair and who refuses to answer questions, you will know who he is. If this should happen, please comfort me. Send me word that he has come back.

Favourite quote(s): „My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa digesting an elephant.“

„But, whoever it was, he, or she, would always say: "That is a hat." Then I would never talk to that person about boa, or primeval forests, or stars. I would bring myself down to his level. I would talk to him about bridge, and golf, and politics, and neckties. And the grown-up would be greatly pleased to have met such a sensible man.“

„And I threw out an explanation with it. "This is only his box. The sheep you asked for is inside." I was very surprised to see a light break over the face of my young judge: "That is exactly the way I wanted it! Do you think that this sheep will have to have a great deal of grass?" "Why?" "Because where I live everything is very small . . ."“

„But he was in Turkish costume, and so nobody would believe what he said. Grown-ups are like that . .“

„If you were to say to the grown-ups: "I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof," they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them: "I saw a house that cost $ 20,000." Then they would exclaim: "Oh, what a pretty house that is!"“

„„Don't you see--I am very busy with matters of consequence!" He stared at me, thunderstruck. "Matters of consequence!" He looked at me there, with my hammer in my hand, my fingers black with engine-grease, bending down over an object which seemed to him extremely ugly . . . "You talk just like the grown-ups!"“

„It is such a secret place, the land of tears.“

„"Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful.“

„"Then you shall judge yourself," the king answered. "that is the most difficult thing of all. It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom."“

„"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air. "Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince. "So that I may forget," replied the tippler. "Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him. "Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head. "Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. "Ashamed of drinking!"“

„"And what good does it do you to own the stars?" "It does me the good of making me rich." "And what good does it do you to be rich?" "It makes it possible for me to buy more stars, if any are discovered."“

„For at least his work has some meaning. When he lights his street lamp, it is as if he brought one more star to life, or one flower. When he puts out his lamp, he sends the flower, or the star, to sleep. That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful."

„The Earth is not just an ordinary planet! One can count, there, 111 kings (not forgetting, to be sure, the Negro kings among them), 7000 geographers, 900,000 businessmen, 7,500,000 tipplers, 311,000,000 conceited men--that is to say, about 2,000,000,000 grown-ups. To give you an idea of the size of the Earth, I will tell you that before the invention of electricity it was necessary to maintain, over the whole of the six continents, a veritable army of 462,511 lamplighters for the street lamps.“

„It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

„"Were they not satisfied where they were?" asked the little prince. "No one is ever satisfied where he is," said the switchman.“

„"The desert is beautiful," the little prince added. And that was true. I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams . . . "What makes the desert beautiful," said the little prince, "is that somewhere it hides a well . . ."“

„This water was indeed a different thing from ordinary nourishment. Its sweetness was born of the walk under the stars, the song of the pulley, the effort of my arms. It was good for the heart, like a present.“

„"All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all these stars are silent. You--you alone--will have the stars as no one else has them--" "What are you trying to say?" "In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night . . . You--only you--will have stars that can laugh!"

„For you who also love the little prince, and for me, nothing in the universe can be the same if somewhere, we do not know where, a sheep that we never saw has--yes or no?--eaten a rose . . . Look up at the sky. Ask yourselves: is it yes or no? Has the sheep eaten the flower? And you will see how everything changes . . . And no grown-up will ever understand that this is a matter of so much importance!“

Themes & tropes: Childhood, not understanding grown-ups/not wanting to grow up, mortal forever waiting for his magical friends return, symbolism, friendship, loneliness, travel/exploration, loss, narrow-mindedness, appreciation

Setting: The Sahara Desert

Main characters: The Little Prince, the narrator, king, conceited man, tippler, business man, lamplighter, geographer, snake, rose, fox

Favourite character: The Little Prince

Author: L. M. Montgomery

Dates of reading: 11.03.-12.03.2024

Year published: 1921

Genre: Classics, Historical Fiction, Children, War

Page count: 277

Rating: 3/5

How I felt while reading: I wasn’t really invested in the individual characters, I was interested in the role the First World War played since I haven’t seen representation of how it affected places outside of Europe (in this case Canada) and especially what it meant for women. It really put into perspective how far the reach of war is and how people are affected even if they live on a whole other continent than where the fighting is actively taking place.

Goodreads summary: Anne's children are almost grown up, except for pretty, high-spirited Rilla. No one can resist her bright hazel eyes and dazzling smile. Rilla, almost fifteen, can't think any further ahead than going to her very first dance at the Four Winds lighthouse and getting her first kiss from handsome Kenneth Ford. But undreamed-of challenges await the irrepressible Rilla when the world of Ingleside is endangered by a far-off war. Her brothers go off to fight, and Rilla brings home an orphaned newborn in a soup tureen. She is swept into a drama that tests her courage and changes her forever.

First sentence: It was a warm, golden-cloudy, lovable afternoon.

Last sentence: “Is it Rilla-my-Rilla?” he asked, meaningly. Emotion shook Rilla from head to foot. Joy — happiness — sorrow — fear — every passion that had wrung her heart in those four long years seemed to surge up in her soul for a moment as the deeps of being were stirred. She had tried to speak; at first voice would not come. Then — “Yeth,” said Rilla.

Favourite quote(s): “We’ve had such lovely times—and such lovely weather. It has just been perfect every way.” “I don’t half like that,” said Miss Oliver, with a sigh. “It’s ominous—somehow. A perfect thing is a gift of the gods—a sort of compensation for what is coming afterwards. I’ve seen that so often that I don’t care to hear people say they’ve had a perfect time. June has been delightful, though.”

„Sometimes I wish something dramatic would happen once in a while.” “Don’t wish it. Dramatic things always have a bitterness for some one.“

“Before this war is over,” he said—or something said through his lips—“every man and woman and child in Canada will feel it—you, Mary, will feel it—feel it to your heart’s core. You will weep tears of blood over it. The Piper has come—and he will pipe until every corner of the world has heard his awful and irresistible music. It will be years before the dance of death is over—years, Mary. And in those years millions of hearts will break.”

„When our women fail in courage, Shall our men be fearless still?“

“He goes to do what I had done Had Douglas’s daughter been his son.“

“We won’t be—happy—in the same way,” said Rilla. “No, not in the same way. Nobody whom this war has touched will ever be happy again in quite the same way. But it will be a better happiness, I think, little sister—a happiness we’ve earned.“

„There are moments when we have real fun because, just for the moment, we don’t think about things and then—we remember—and the remembering is worse than thinking of it all the time would have been.“

“By the time you get this they will be out, blowing there under that lovely rosy sky. Are they really as bright and golden as ever, Rilla? It seems to me that they must be dyed red with blood—like our poppies here. And every whisper of spring will be falling as a violet in Rainbow Valley. “There is a young moon tonight—a slender, silver, lovely thing hanging over these pits of torment. Will you see it tonight over the maple grove?“

“‘Can the spring really come this year?’“

“I shall never be too much of a woman to find comfort in mother’s hugs.“

“what I would like to do to the Kaiser if I could? […] I would like to turn the Kaiser into a good man—a very good man—all at once if I could. That is what I would do. Don’t you think, Mrs. Blythe, that would be the very worstest punishment of all? […] f he was turned into a good man he would understand how dreadful the things he has done are, and he would feel so terrible about it that he would be more unhappy and miserable than he could ever be in any other way. He would feel just awful—and he would go on feeling like that forever.“

„I thought you’d be interested in hearing about Miller so I ran up from the store, but I must hustle home for I promised Luke MacAllister I’d help him build his grain stack this evening. It’s up to us girls to see that the harvest is got in, since the boys are so scarce. I’ve got overalls and I can tell you they’re real becoming. Mrs. Alec Douglas says they’re indecent and shouldn’t be allowed, and even Mrs. Elliott kinder looks askance at them. But bless you, the world moves, and anyhow there’s no fun for me like shocking Kitty Alec.”

„Round the end of the kitchen burst Mr. Pryor, running as stout, pompous Mr. Pryor had not run in years, with terror imprinted on every lineament—a terror quite justifiable, for behind him, like an avenging fate, came Susan, with a huge, smoking iron pot grasped in her hands, and an expression in her eye that boded ill to the object of her indignation, if she should overtake him. Pursuer and pursued tore across the lawn. Mr. Pryor reached the gate a few feet ahead of Susan, wrenched it open, and fled down the road, without a glance at the transfixed lady of Ingleside. “Susan,” gasped Anne. Susan halted in her mad career, set down her pot, and shook her fist after Mr. Pryor, who had not ceased to run, evidently believing that Susan was still full cry after him. “Susan, what does this mean?” demanded Anne, a little severely. “You may well ask that, Mrs. Dr. dear,” Susan replied wrathfully. “I have not been so upset in years. That—that—that pacifist has actually had the audacity to come up here and, in my own kitchen, to ask me to marry him. HIM!”“

„‘Why can’t yesterday come back, Willa?’ “Oh, why can’t it, Jims? That beautiful ‘yesterday’ of dreams and laughter—when our boys were home—when Walter and I read and rambled and watched new moons and sunsets together in Rainbow Valley. If it could just come back! But yesterdays never come back, little Jims—and the todays are dark with clouds—and we dare not think about the tomorrows.”“

„and foolish and absurd or not, they all plucked up heart and courage to carry on, just because a faithful little dog at the Glen station was still watching with unbroken faith for his master to come home.“

„Did I ever say November was an ugly month? Why it’s the most beautiful month in the whole year. Listen to the bells ringing in Rainbow Valley! I never heard them so clearly. They’re ringing for peace—and new happiness—and all the dear, sweet, sane, homey things that we can have again now, Miss Oliver. Not that I am sane just now—I don’t pretend to be. The whole world is having a little crazy spell today. Soon we’ll sober down—and ‘keep faith’—and begin to build up our new world. But just for today let’s be mad and glad.”

“Yes, Mrs. Dr. dear, a honeymoon,” repeated Susan firmly. “I shall never be able to get a husband but I am not going to be cheated out of everything and a honeymoon I intend to have.“

„We’ll set chairs for all, Susan, as you did our first war Christmas—yes, for all—for my dear lad whose chair must always be vacant, as well as for the others, Susan.”

„Dog Monday was a young pup, gone clean mad with rejuvenating joy. He flung himself against the tall soldier, with a bark that choked in his throat from sheer rapture. He flung himself on the ground and writhed in a frenzy of welcome. He tried to climb the soldier’s khaki legs and slipped down and groveled in an ecstasy that seemed as if it must tear his little body in pieces. He licked his boots and when the lieutenant had, with laughter on his lips and tears in his eyes, succeeded in gathering the little creature up in his arms Dog Monday laid his head on the khaki shoulder and licked the sunburned neck, making queer sounds between barks and sobs. The station agent had heard the story of Dog Monday. He knew now who the returned soldier was. Dog Monday’s long vigil was ended. Jem Blythe had come home.“

„I’ve seen enough of war to realize that we’ve got to make a world where wars can’t happen. We’ve given Prussianism its mortal wound but it isn’t dead yet and it isn’t confined to Germany either. It isn’t enough to drive out the old spirit—we’ve got to bring in the new.’“

Themes & tropes: War, growing up, grief, hope

Setting: Prince Edward Island (Canada)

Main characters: Gilbert Blythe, Bertha Marilla (Rilla) Blythe, Anne Shirley, James Matthew Blythe, Walter Blythe, Anne (Nan) Blythe, Diana Blythe, Shirley Blythe, Jerry Meredith, Faith Meredith, Una Meredith, Carl Meredith, Susan Baker, Miller Douglas, Kenneth Ford, James Kitchener (Jims) Anderson, Irene Howard, Gertrude Oliver, Sophia Crawford, Fred Arnold, Josiah Pryor, Miranda Pryor, Joe Milgrave, Bruce Meredith

Favourite character: Dog Monday and Walter

Favourite scene: Jem coming home

General notes/thoughts: I listened to this as an audiobook. Even though I don’t like how much Anne has changed, I wanted to read it because I was curious about how the First World War would be portrayed.

Author: L. M. Montgomery

Dates of reading: 01.03.-08.03.2024

Year published: 1936

Genre: Classics, Historical Fiction, Children

Page count: 288

Rating: 2/5

How I felt while reading:  I was really losing interest at this point and wasn’t really attached to the characters or the plot. At this point, I decided not to read the whole series and honestly, I could have gone without reading this book. It’s not that it’s bad, but I personally loved the first book because of how unfiltered Anne is. She’s so much more mature now, which is great for her but boring to read. I need more drama XD I need either higher stakes or way more excitement and personality.

How I felt after reading: Disappointed and decided not to finish the rest of the series (except for the last book since I was interested in how the First World War would be portrayed). 

Short summary: (Goodreads) Anne Shirley has left Redmond College behind to begin a new job and a new chapter of her life away from Green Gables. Now she faces a new challenge: the Pringles. They're known as the royal family of Summerside--and they quickly let Anne know she is not the person they had wanted as principal of Summerside High School. But as she settles into the cozy tower room at Windy Poplars, Anne finds she has great allies in the widows Aunt Kate and Aunt Chatty--and in their irrepressible housekeeper, Rebecca Dew. As Anne learns Summerside's strangest secrets, winning the support of the prickly Pringles becomes only the first of her delicious triumphs.

First sentence: “Windy Poplars, “Spook’s Lane, “S’side, P. E. I., “Monday, September 12th. “Dearest: “Isn’t that an address! Did you ever hear anything so delicious? Windy Poplars is the name of my new home and I love it.

Last sentence: But as Anne drove away from Windy Poplars the last message from it was a large white bath-towel fluttering frantically from the tower window. Rebecca Dew was waving it.

Favourite quote(s): “She was Beth that night... it is only when she is Beth that she will talk of her father. When she is Betty she makes faces at her grandmother and the Woman behind their backs; but when she turns into Elsie she is sorry for it and thinks she ought to confess, but is scared to. Very rarely she is Elizabeth and then she has the face of one who listens to fairy music and knows what roses and clovers talk about.“

„And I love you because you aren’t pompous like Dr. Carter... and I love you because you haven’t got sticky-out ears like Johnny. And... the very best reason of all... I love you for just being Gilbert!”

„Even the most unlovely streets are transfigured by arms of bloom reaching over old board fences and a ribbon of dandelions in the grass that borders the sidewalks. Even the china lady on my shelf is aware of it and I know if I could only wake up suddenly enough some night I’d catch her dancing a pas seul in her pink, gilt-heeled shoes.“

„“‘ Collarless dresses are coming in,’ I said. “‘ Collarless dresses,’ said Mrs. Gibson, ‘are indecent.’ “( Item:—I was wearing a collarless dress.)“

„You were never poor as long as you had something to love.“

„“Babies are such fascinating creatures,” said Anne dreamily. “They are what I heard somebody at Redmond call ‘terrific bundles of potentialities.’ Think of it, Katherine... Homer must have been a baby once... a baby with dimples and great eyes full of light... he couldn’t have been blind then, of course.” “What a pity his mother didn’t know he was to be Homer,” said Katherine. “But I think I’m glad Judas’ mother didn’t know he was to be Judas,” said Anne softly. “I hope she never did know.”“

Themes & tropes: growing up, friendship, hope, community and ones role inside of one

Setting: Prince Edward Island (Canada), Summerside

Main characters: Diana Barry, Gilbert Blythe, Anne Shirley, Jen Pringle, Rebecca Dew, Elizabeth Grayson, Katherine Brooke, Pauline Gibson, Pierce Grayson, Sophy Sinclair

Favourite character and scene: Honestly, I wasn’t really attached to the characters or plot :( I remember liking Rebecca Dew though. And some scene with Anne going to dinner to help out with someone’s dad who turns out to be way less strict than they portray him as.

General notes/thoughts: I listened to this as an audiobook.

Author: L. M. Montgomery

Dates of reading: 29.02.-01.03.2024

Year published: 1915

Genre: Classics, Historical Fiction, Children

Page count: 243

Rating: 3/5

How I felt while reading: The theme of growing up made me so sad (in a good way). The death of one of the characters caught me by surprise and I was not ready for it. It made me so sad. I wasn’t ready for the theme of dying young :( I’m always shocked at how dark this series manages to get out of nowhere.

Honestly, I was starting to feel quite bored and disappointed. I miss Anne being a little girl without a filter, who makes mistakes and learns from them. She’s starting to feel too perfect.

How I felt after reading: Super touched by the love between Gilbert and Anne. It’s so wholesome and sweet <3

Short summary: (Goodreads) New adventures lie ahead as Anne Shirley packs her bags, waves good-bye to childhood, and heads for Redmond College. With her old friend Prissy Grant waiting in the bustling city of Kingsport and her frivolous new friend Philippa Gordon at her side, Anne tucks her memories of rural Avonlea away and discovers life on her own terms, filled with surprises . . . including a marriage proposal from the worst fellow imaginable, the sale of her very first story, and a tragedy that teaches her a painful lesson. But tears turn to laughter when Anne and her friends move into an old cottage and an ornery black cat steals her heart. Little does Anne know that handsome Gilbert Blythe wants to win her heart, too. Suddenly Anne must decide whether she's ready for love.

First sentence: “Harvest is ended and summer is gone,” quoted Anne Shirley, gazing across the shorn fields dreamily.

Last sentence: Gilbert drew her close to him and kissed her. Then they walked home together in the dusk, crowned king and queen in the bridal realm of love, along winding paths fringed with the sweetest flowers that ever bloomed, and over haunted meadows where winds of hope and memory blew.

Favourite quote(s): „It is never pleasant to have our old shrines desecrated, even when we have outgrown them.“

“And we’re from the Island,” said both together. “I hail from Bolingbroke, Nova Scotia,” said Philippa. “Bolingbroke!” exclaimed Anne. “Why, that is where I was born.” “Do you really mean it? Why, that makes you a Bluenose after all.” “No, it doesn’t,” retorted Anne. “Wasn’t it Dan O’Connell who said that if a man was born in a stable it didn’t make him a horse? I’m Island to the core.”

„I’m going home to an old country farmhouse, once green, rather faded now, set among leafless apple orchards. There is a brook below and a December fir wood beyond, where I’ve heard harps swept by the fingers of rain and wind. There is a pond nearby that will be gray and brooding now. There will be two oldish ladies in the house, one tall and thin, one short and fat; and there will be two twins, one a perfect model, the other what Mrs. Lynde calls a ‘holy terror.’ There will be a little room upstairs over the porch, where old dreams hang thick, and a big, fat, glorious feather bed which will almost seem the height of luxury after a boardinghouse mattress. How do you like my picture, Phil?” “It seems a very dull one,” said Phil, with a grimace. “Oh, but I’ve left out the transforming thing,” said Anne softly. “There’ll be love there, Phil—faithful, tender love, such as I’ll never find anywhere else in the world—love that’s waiting for me. That makes my picture a masterpiece, doesn’t it, even if the colors are not very brilliant?”“

“Averil is such an unmanageable heroine. She WILL do and say things I never meant her to. Then that spoils everything that went before and I have to write it all over again.”

“To think that this is my twentieth birthday, and that I’ve left my teens behind me forever.“ (I’m turning twenty in a few months too, and it makes me nervous)

“How strange the graveyard looks by moonlight!” said Ruby suddenly. “How ghostly!” she shuddered. “Anne, it won’t be long now before I’ll be lying over there. You and Diana and all the rest will be going about, full of life—and I’ll be there—in the old graveyard—dead!”

“The Twin Sailors and the Golden Lady never came at all,” he said. “Nora was there—but Nora is not the same, teacher. She is changed.” “Oh, Paul, it is you who are changed,” said Anne. “You have grown too old for the Rock People. They like only children for playfellows. I am afraid the Twin Sailors will never again come to you in the pearly, enchanted boat with the sail of moonshine; and the Golden Lady will play no more for you on her golden harp. Even Nora will not meet you much longer. You must pay the penalty of growing-up, Paul. You must leave fairyland behind you.” “You two talk as much foolishness as ever you did,” said old Mrs. Irving, half-indulgently, half-reprovingly. “Oh, no, we don’t,” said Anne, shaking her head gravely. “We are getting very, very wise, and it is such a pity.“

“But I’ll have to ask you to wait a long time, Anne,” said Gilbert sadly. “It will be three years before I’ll finish my medical course. And even then there will be no diamond sunbursts and marble halls.” Anne laughed. “I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls. I just want YOU.“

Themes & tropes: growing up, imagination, friendship, hope, love, integrity, friends to lovers, death (at a young age)

Setting: Prince Edward Island (Canada), Nova Scotia (Canada)

Main characters: Diana Barry, Gilbert Blythe, Anne Shirley, Marilla Cuthbert, Charlie Sloane, Roy Gardner, Priscilla Grant, Stella Maynard, Philippa Gordon, Davy Keith, Dora Keith, Rachel Lynde, Billy Andrews, Jane Andrews, Ruby Gillis

Favourite character: Gilbert Blythe

Favourite scene: Anne realising she loves Gilbert

General notes/thoughts: I listened to this as an audiobook.

Author: L. M. Montgomery

Dates of reading: 27.02.-29.02.2024

Year published: 1909

Genre: Classics, Historical Fiction, Children

Page count: 276

Rating: 3/5

How I felt while reading: I’m still surprised by how quickly Anne grew up. I thought each book would be a year of her life or something like that. I think it’s interesting that they went the route of Anne staying home to support Marilla, showing that our big plans don’t always work out like we imagine but that doesn’t mean we have to give up. But I hated Davy with a passion and I am very upset at how Anne and Marilla favoured him and pushed Dora aside. I mean, when we see Anne misbehave in book 1 she is taught to do better! I feel like Davy gets away with being a bully just because he’s a boy!

How I felt after reading: Happy about how Lavender and Paul’s plotlines were tied up <3 it was super sweet and I love the descriptions of Lavender’s home and the echoes <33 it feels so mystical

Short summary: (Goodreads) When twelve-year-old Anne Shirley came to Avonlea, she quickly won everyone’s heart. Now, she’s five years older, almost a woman, and about to embark on a new adventure: becoming the teacher in her old Avonlea school. It’s an exciting year as Anne struggles to win over all her students, welcomes two new members to her family, and feels the first stirrings of love.

First sentence: A tall, slim girl, “half-past sixteen,” with serious gray eyes and hair which her friends called auburn, had sat down on the broad red sandstone doorstep of a Prince Edward Island farmhouse one ripe afternoon in August, firmly resolved to construe so many lines of Virgil.

Last sentence: Behind them in the garden the little stone house brooded among the shadows. It was lonely but not forsaken. It had not yet done with dreams and laughter and the joy of life; there were to be future summers for the little stone house; meanwhile, it could wait. And over the river in purple durance the echoes bided their time.

Favourite quote(s): „With a quick interchange of smiles Anne and Paul were fast friends forever before a word had passed between them.“

„I’ve clean forgot half the directions already. And it says, ‘flavor according to taste.’ What does that mean? How can you tell? And what if my taste doesn’t happen to be other people’s taste?“

“I’d like to add some beauty to life,” said Anne dreamily. “I don’t exactly want to make people KNOW more... though I know that IS the noblest ambition... but I’d love to make them have a pleasanter time because of me... to have some little joy or happy thought that would never have existed if I hadn’t been born.”

„It does people good to have to do things they don’t like... in moderation.”

„Uncle Abe Andrews is prophesying rain and storms for about that time; and that’s a pretty sure sign we’ll have fine weather.“

„„You’ll probably have a good many more and worse disappointments than that before you get through life,” said Marilla, who honestly thought she was making a comforting speech.“

“When I think something nice is going to happen I seem to fly right up on the wings of anticipation; and then the first thing I realize I drop down to earth with a thud. But really, Marilla, the flying part IS glorious as long as it lasts... it’s like soaring through a sunset. I think it almost pays for the thud.”

“Anne, I believe you’re just talking nonsense.” “Of course, I was, dear boy. Don’t you know that it is only very foolish folk who talk sense all the time?”

“She looks just as music sounds, I think.“

“Oh, I don’t think so,” said Diana. “Anne seems to me real stately and like a queen. But I’d like Kerrenhappuch if it happened to be your name. I think people make their names nice or ugly just by what they are themselves. I can’t bear Josie or Gertie for names now but before I knew the Pye girls I thought them real pretty.” “That’s a lovely idea, Diana,” said Anne enthusiastically. “Living so that you beautify your name, even if it wasn’t beautiful to begin with... making it stand in people’s thoughts for something so lovely and pleasant that they never think of it by itself. Thank you, Diana.”

“Ah, well, we’ll just have to plant them over again next spring,” said Anne philosophically. “That is one good thing about this world... there are always sure to be more springs.”

“do I look as if I were crazy?” “Not more so than usual.“

“I’ve put out a lot of little roots these two years,” Anne told the moon, “and when I’m pulled up they’re going to hurt a great deal.“

„But I hope she won’t give her queer notions up, teacher, because I like them. And I don’t want her to be like other people. There are too many other people around as it is. YOU know, teacher.”

Themes & tropes: growing up, imagination, friendship, hope, love, evil child that everyone loves for some reason, pursuing different goals than your original dreams, 

Setting: Prince Edward Island (Canada)

Main characters: Marilla Cuthbert, Diana Barry, Gilbert Blythe, Rachel Lynde, Anne Shirley, Davy Keith, Dora Keith, Paul Irving, Stephen Irving, Lavender Lewis, J. A. Harrison, Jane Andrews, Charlotta the Fourth, Anthony Pye

Favourite character: Lavender Lewis

Favourite scene: Diana and Anne meeting Miss Lavender

General notes/thoughts: I hate Davy with a passion

Author: L. M. Montgomery

Dates of reading: 26.02.-27.02.2024

Year published: 1908

Genre: Classics, Historical Fiction, Children

Page count: 320

Rating: 5/5

How I felt while reading: I adored this book!! I already knew the story from watching Anne with an E but reading the book was still completely worth it. I love Anne so much!!! I relate to her on a lot of levels and just love how bright she makes the world around her.

How I felt after reading: Still shocked and devastated at the end. It made me so sad. I can see myself rereading this book, stopping earlier and pretending that that is where the book and the series ends. 

Short summary: (Goodreads) This heartwarming story has beckoned generations of readers into the special world of Green Gables, an old-fashioned farm outside a town called Avonlea. Anne Shirley, an eleven-year-old orphan, has arrived in this verdant corner of Prince Edward Island only to discover that the Cuthberts—elderly Matthew and his stern sister, Marilla—want to adopt a boy, not a feisty redheaded girl. But before they can send her back, Anne—who simply must have more scope for her imagination and a real home—wins them over completely. A much-loved classic that explores all the vulnerability, expectations, and dreams of a child growing up, Anne of Green Gables is also a wonderful portrait of a time, a place, a family… and, most of all, love.

First sentence: Mrs. Rachel Lynde lived just where the Avonlea main road dipped down into a little hollow, fringed with alders and ladies’ eardrops and traversed by a brook that had its source away back in the woods of the old Cuthbert place; it was reputed to be an intricate, headlong brook in its earlier course through those woods, with dark secrets of pool and cascade; but by the time it reached Lynde’s Hollow it was a quiet, well-conducted little stream, for not even a brook could run past Mrs. Rachel Lynde’s door without due regard for decency and decorum; it probably was conscious that Mrs. Rachel was sitting at her window, keeping a sharp eye on everything that passed, from brooks and children up, and that if she noticed anything odd or out of place she would never rest until she had ferreted out the whys and wherefores thereof.

Last sentence: Anne’s horizons had closed in since the night she had sat there after coming home from Queen’s; but if the path set before her feet was to be narrow she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it. The joy of sincere work and worthy aspiration and congenial friendship were to be hers; nothing could rob her of her birthright of fancy or her ideal world of dreams. And there was always the bend in the road! “‘God’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world,’” whispered Anne softly.

Favourite quote(s): „But Matthew so rarely went from home that it must be something pressing and unusual which was taking him; he was the shyest man alive and hated to have to go among strangers or to any place where he might have to talk.“

„Matthew was left to do that which was harder for him than bearding a lion in its den—walk up to a girl—a strange girl—an orphan girl—and demand of her why she wasn’t a boy.“

„He could not tell this child with the glowing eyes that there had been a mistake; he would take her home and let Marilla do that.“

„But am I talking too much? People are always telling me I do. Would you rather I didn’t talk? If you say so I’ll stop. I can STOP when I make up my mind to it, although it’s difficult.”

„But if you have big ideas you have to use big words to express them, haven’t you?”

“Pretty? Oh, PRETTY doesn’t seem the right word to use. Nor beautiful, either. They don’t go far enough. Oh, it was wonderful—wonderful. It’s the first thing I ever saw that couldn’t be improved upon by imagination.“

„When I don’t like the name of a place or a person I always imagine a new one and always think of them so. There was a girl at the asylum whose name was Hepzibah Jenkins, but I always imagined her as Rosalia DeVere. Other people may call that place the Avenue, but I shall always call it the White Way of Delight.“

„That water looks as if it was smiling at me.”

„Isn’t it a splendid thing that there are mornings?“

„But the worst of imagining things is that the time comes when you have to stop and that hurts.”

„It’s all very well to read about sorrows and imagine yourself living through them heroically, but it’s not so nice when you really come to have them, is it?”

„Didn’t you give it a name? May I give it one then? May I call it—let me see—Bonny would do—may I call it Bonny while I’m here? Oh, do let me!” “Goodness, I don’t care. But where on earth is the sense of naming a geranium?” “Oh, I like things to have handles even if they are only geraniums“

„It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.“

“Were those women—Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Hammond—good to you?” asked Marilla, looking at Anne out of the corner of her eye. “O-o-o-h,” faltered Anne. Her sensitive little face suddenly flushed scarlet and embarrassment sat on her brow. “Oh, they MEANT to be-I know they meant to be just as good and kind as possible. And when people mean to be good to you, you don’t mind very much when they’re not quite—always. They had a good deal to worry them, you know.“

„her most serious shortcoming seemed to be a tendency to fall into daydreams in the middle of a task and forget all about it until such time as she was sharply recalled to earth by a reprimand or a catastrophe.“

„Anne talked Matthew and Marilla half-deaf over her discoveries. Not that Matthew complained, to be sure; he listened to it all with a wordless smile of enjoyment on his face; Marilla permitted the “chatter” until she found herself becoming too interested in it, whereupon she always promptly quenched Anne by a curt command to hold her tongue.“

„She was as angry with herself as with Anne, because, whenever she recalled Mrs. Rachel’s dumbfounded countenance her lips twitched with amusement and she felt a most reprehensible desire to laugh.“

„What I said to you was true, too, but I shouldn’t have said it.“

“I don’t see why it’s any more ridiculous to wear flowers on your hat than on your dress,” protested Anne. “Lots of little girls there had bouquets pinned on their dresses. What’s the difference?”

“You’re a queer girl, Anne. I heard before that you were queer. But I believe I’m going to like you real well.” (Diana meeting Anne)

“Oh, Marilla, looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them,” exclaimed Anne. “You mayn’t get the things themselves; but nothing can prevent you from having the fun of looking forward to them. Mrs. Lynde says, ‘Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.’ But I think it would be worse to expect nothing than to be disappointed.”

„It would have been such a romantic experience to have been nearly drowned.“

„And then—thwack! Anne had brought her slate down on Gilbert’s head and cracked it—slate not head—clear across.“

„Matthew would have thought anyone who praised Anne was “all right.”“

„Remember, you Anne-girl, when you come to town you’re to visit me and I’ll put you in my very sparest spare-room bed to sleep.”

„Marilla, isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

“But have you ever noticed one encouraging thing about me, Marilla? I never make the same mistake twice.” “I don’t know as that’s much benefit when you’re always making new ones.”

„At that moment Marilla had a revelation. In the sudden stab of fear that pierced her very heart she realized what Anne had come to mean to her. She would have admitted that she liked Anne—nay, that she was very fond of Anne. But now she knew as she hurried wildly down the slope that Anne was dearer to her than anything else on earth.“

„Then Diana puts too many murders into hers. She says most of the time she doesn’t know what to do with the people so she kills them off to get rid of them.“

„That’s the worst of growing up, and I’m beginning to realize it. The things you wanted so much when you were a child don’t seem half so wonderful to you when you get them.”

“I declare, my recitation has made you cry, Marilla,” said Anne gaily stooping over Marilla’s chair to drop a butterfly kiss on that lady’s cheek. “Now, I call that a positive triumph.” “No, I wasn’t crying over your piece,” said Marilla, who would have scorned to be betrayed into such weakness by any poetry stuff. “I just couldn’t help thinking of the little girl you used to be, Anne. And I was wishing you could have stayed a little girl, even with all your queer ways. You’ve grown up now and you’re going away; and you look so tall and stylish and so—so—different altogether in that dress—as if you didn’t belong in Avonlea at all—and I just got lonesome thinking it all over.” “Marilla!” Anne sat down on Marilla’s gingham lap, took Marilla’s lined face between her hands, and looked gravely and tenderly into Marilla’s eyes. “I’m not a bit changed—not really. I’m only just pruned down and branched out. The real ME—back here—is just the same. It won’t make a bit of difference where I go or how much I change outwardly; at heart I shall always be your little Anne, who will love you and Matthew and dear Green Gables more and better every day of her life.” Anne laid her fresh young cheek against Marilla’s faded one, and reached out a hand to pat Matthew’s shoulder. Marilla would have given much just then to have possessed Anne’s power of putting her feelings into words; but nature and habit had willed it otherwise, and she could only put her arms close about her girl and hold her tenderly to her heart, wishing that she need never let her go.“

““If I had been the boy you sent for,” said Anne wistfully, “I’d be able to help you so much now and spare you in a hundred ways. I could find it in my heart to wish I had been, just for that.” “Well now, I’d rather have you than a dozen boys, Anne,” said Matthew patting her hand. “Just mind you that — rather than a dozen boys. Well now, I guess it wasn’t a boy that took the Avery scholarship, was it? It was a girl — my girl — my girl that I’m proud of.” He smiled his shy smile at her as he went into the yard. Anne took the memory of it with her when she went to her room that night and sat for a long while at her open window, thinking of the past and dreaming of the future.“

„Anne came through the hall, her hands full of white narcissus—it was long before Anne could love the sight or odor of white narcissus again“

„She felt something like shame and remorse when she discovered that the sunrises behind the firs and the pale pink buds opening in the garden gave her the old inrush of gladness when she saw them—that Diana’s visits were pleasant to her and that Diana’s merry words and ways moved her to laughter and smiles—that, in brief, the beautiful world of blossom and love and friendship had lost none of its power to please her fancy and thrill her heart, that life still called to her with many insistent voices. “It seems like disloyalty to Matthew, somehow, to find pleasure in these things now that he has gone.““

„Anne’s horizons had closed in since the night she had sat there after coming home from Queen’s; but if the path set before her feet was to be narrow she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it. The joy of sincere work and worthy aspiration and congenial friendship were to be hers; nothing could rob her of her birthright of fancy or her ideal world of dreams. And there was always the bend in the road!“

Themes & tropes: growing up, orphan protagonist, stern mother figure and shy but kind father figure, misunderstandings, childhood, imagination, trauma, friendship, family, making mistakes and learning from them, optimism

Setting: Avonlea, Prince Edward Island (Canada)

Main characters: Marilla Cuthbert, Matthew Cuthbert, Diana Barry, Gilbert Blythe, Rachel Lynde, Anne Shirley, Jane Andrews, Ruby Gillis, Josie Pye, Prissy Andrews, Mr. Phillips, Mrs. Allan, Muriel Stacey

Favourite character: Anne <333 and Matthew <333

Favourite scene: Matthew getting Anne a dress with puffy sleeves + Matthew and Marilla being proud of Anne after her concert

Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

Dates of reading: 16.02.-25.02.2024

Year published: 1927

Genre: Classics, Mystery, Fiction, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Detective, Short Story Collection

Page count: 303

Rating: 4/5

Short summary: (Goodreads:) In this, the final collection of Sherlock Holmes adventures, the intrepid detective and his faithful companion Dr Watson examine and solve twelve cases that puzzle clients, baffle the police and provide readers with the thrill of the chase. These mysteries - involving an illustrious client and a Sussex vampire; the problems of Thor Bridge and of the Lions Mane; a creeping man and the three-gabled house - all test the bravery of Dr Watson and the brilliant mind of Mr Sherlock Holmes, the greatest detective we have ever known.

First sentence: (Preface: I fear that Mr. Sherlock Holmes may become like one of those popular tenors who, having outlived their time, are still tempted to make repeated farewell bows to their indulgent audiences.) Chapter 1: It can’t hurt now,” was Mr. Sherlock Holmes’s comment when, for the tenth time in as many years, I asked his leave to reveal the following narrative. So it was that at last I obtained permission to put on record what was, in some ways, the supreme moment of my friend’s career.

Last sentence: “Well, well, MacKinnon is a good fellow,” said Holmes with a tolerant smile. “You can file it in our archives, Watson. Some day the true story may be told.” 

Favourite quote(s):

“Thus it would be true to say that those who first read of him, as young men, have lived to see their own grown-up children following the same adventures in the same magazine. It is a striking example of the patience and loyalty of the British public.”

“IT was pleasant to Dr. Watson to find himself once more in the untidy room of the first floor in Baker Street which had been the starting-point of so many remarkable adventures. He looked round him at the scientific charts upon the wall, the acid-charred bench of chemicals, the violin-case leaning in the corner, the coal-scuttle, which contained of old the pipes and tobacco.“

“I’m expecting something this evening.” “Expecting what?” “To be murdered, Watson.”

“‘We give you best, Holmes. I believe you are the devil himself.” “Not far from him, at any rate,’ Holmes answered with a polite smile.”

“My doctor lectures me about never going out, but why should I go out when I have so much to hold me here?”

“In an instant he had whisked out a revolver from his breast and had fired two shots. I felt a sudden hot sear as if a red-hot iron had been pressed to my thigh. There was a crash as Holmes’s pistol came down on the man’s head. I had a vision of him sprawling upon the floor with blood running down his face while Holmes rummaged him for weapons. Then my friend’s wiry arms were round me, and he was leading me to a chair. “You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!” It was worth a wound—it was worth many wounds—to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as of a great brain. All my years of humble but single-minded service culminated in that moment of revelation. “It’s nothing, Holmes. It’s a mere scratch.” He had ripped up my trousers with his pocket-knife. “You are right,” he cried with an immense sigh of relief. “It is quite superficial.” His face set like flint as he glared at our prisoner, who was sitting up with a dazed face. “By the Lord, it is as well for you. If you had killed Watson, you would not have got out of this room alive.”

“It’s not out of love for you I’m speaking. I don’t care a tinker’s curse whether you live or die. It’s out of hate for him and to spite him and to get back on him for what he did to me.” (Miss Winter)

“‘Try it yourself, Holmes!’ he has retorted, and I am compelled to admit that, having taken my pen in my hand, I do begin to realise that the matter must be presented in such a way as may interest the reader.” (Sherlock writing about his own case)

“The good Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone.”

“So, a rich man? No; you smiled—a rich woman.”

“when a man does one queer thing, or two queer things, there may be a meaning to it, but when everything he does is queer, then you begin to wonder.”

Themes & tropes: justice, crime and law, power of observation, morals, human nature

Setting: Late Victorian London, England

Main characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Billy

Favourite character: Miss Winter

Many writers know November to be the so-called, “National Novel Writing Month”. Or rather NaNoWriMo. I will say, right off the bat, I failed NaNoWriMo 2019. Or, at least I failed to achieve the goal of writing 50 000 words in a single month. 

That said, I still gained a lot from it. And I have no regrets about taking part in it. Over the course of just a month, I made more progress in my writing than I had ever before. 

I finally got into the habit of writing daily. I got to meet some other lovely writers, whom I learned a lot from. And I finally started setting goals for myself and sticking to them. And shortly following, I wrote over double as many words in two months than I had in almost two years. 

And even after NaNoWriMo ended, I continued writing frequently. Over time I got better and I finally started to have a plan about where things were going. 

But that doesn't mean it comes easy. You can't simply join NaNoWriMo and expect everything to come to you from then on. You have to write. And though it's fine to lose, try to believe you can win. Try. And if you realise you might not make it, set a new goal for yourself.

And so, I wrote 27 000 words in November. I kept telling myself I would write 50 000 words. Even with school and many events going on as I did my best to reach that goal. 

I still recall Halloween night. The last night of October. Only a few more hours before the start of NaNoWriMo. I used the time to get familiar with the NaNoWriMo Website. 

As I did so, the option of going to “write-ins” came to my attention. I had... mixed feelings. After all, the only writers I had met until then were all my age and had already given up on their stories. Meaning I was pretty much the only active writer I knew. 

I may write a full post about the write-ins themselves. But, all in all, it was amazing to have the opportunity to meet other writers no more than half an hour away. It was an amazing experience to meet so many people who had more experience than me and could give me advice. And even though I was always the youngest one there, I enjoyed them. And I would recommend write-ins to anyone who has the chance and feels comfortable and safe doing so. (As long as you're sure it's safe and it is in a public place like a café.) 

Then, it was midnight. November had officially started and I was determined to win NaNoWriMo. I was determined to finally get on with what I had been pushing away for so long. And the second I started writing, I knew exactly how to continue the story. After all, my ideas for it had been bunching up over time and now I was finally letting them out onto the page. 

My demise was most likely the fact that I became cocky after having written a lot on specific days. So I had days where I would write over 2000 words. (Which was a high score to me as someone who wasn’t used to writing any more than 500 words in a matter of weeks.) And days where I'd only write 100 words. 

Unfortunately for me, the end of November brought on a lot of stress when it came to school. I do believe I could have won NaNoWriMo if I had neglected my responsibilities. But like many others, I knew I had to set school as a higher priority. And that's one of the reasons why I lost. But even if you can’t win NaNoWriMo, you still have more to win than to lose. And it's important to make sure not to pressure yourself too much. 

Of course, as someone who hadn’t yet had any practice with writing daily, I probably should have gone into it a bit slower. And the immediate goal of 50 000 words in 30 days is a lot, especially for beginners. But a lot of people, including me, work best under pressure. So in the end, you're the only one who can decide if NaNoWriMo will help you or not. And take into consideration how hard you might take it if you were to lose. 

Keep in mind that you don't have to stick to the goal of 50 000 words. You can set your own goal. Especially if you take part in Camp NaNo, where everyone gets to choose how many words they wish to write in a month. 

Even if you do choose a lower word count goal, remember, progress is progress. In my opinion, the best way to approach NaNoWriMo and writing, in general, is to set a daily goal. And stick to it. Personally, I work best with a deadline. So I may set a goal for how many words I'd like to write in two weeks, and then see how many words I have to write daily. I try to achieve the daily word count. If I can't, I still do my best to catch up before I pass my stricter deadline of two weeks after starting. 

But you also have to keep in mind that NaNoWriMo isn’t good for everyone. A lot of people just write when inspiration strikes, and for those kinds of people, NaNoWriMo can be a massive chore. Everyone has their own preference for when they write. I personally do quite well with routines and goals, but it isn’t for everyone. 

If you do choose to take part in any sort of challenge like NaNoWriMo, I wish you good luck and happy writing.

Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

Dates of reading: 12.02.-16.02.2024

Year published: 1917

Genre: Classics, Mystery, Fiction, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Detective, Short Story Collection

Page count: 242

Rating: 4/5

How I felt while reading: I remember actively thinking about how I enjoyed a lot of the stories more than other short stories that have come before. Honestly, I thought this was the last book. I have the “Essential Sherlock Holmes Collection” on my Kindle and it turns out, it leaves out the Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (the last book). But then again, like the three books before, I’m sure this book was originally meant to be the last one. 

How I felt after reading: Sherlock and Watson catching up after years of not talking made me so sad ToT it feels like the end of an era (which it is. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to read the books as they come out. As Doyle mentions in the preface of the next book, it means that multiple generations grew to love Sherlock Holmes while they were still actively coming out and now, even after, they still do). Sherlock and Watson’s friendship is timeless. The books aren’t just about Sherlock’s powers of deduction. They’re about two friends who stick together for years as friends, roommates, partners in crime and justice. And even though Sherlock is so often presented as a cold, emotionless character in modern adaptations, the books clearly show that this is not the case. He has so many moments of tenderness and protectiveness. And Sherlock’s ending monologue (see Last Sentence) made me so sad in the context of the first world war. I feel like it was Doyle trying to give his readers courage through means of their favourite character. There’s the idea that everything will be ok and Sherlock will solve the case, bringing justice to the world.

Short summary: (Goodreads:) 'His Last Bow', the title story of this collection, tells how Sherlock Holmes is brought out of retirement to help the Government fight the German threat at the approach of the First World War. The Prime Minister himself requests Holmes's services to hunt down the remarkable German agent, Von Bork. Several of the detective's earlier cases complete the volume, including 'Wisteria Lodge', 'The Bruce-Partington Plans', and 'The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax'. In 'The Dying Detective', Dr Watson is horrified to discover Holmes at death's door from a mysterious tropical disease as his friend lays a trap for a murderer.

First sentence: The friends of Mr. Sherlock Holmes will be glad to learn that he is still alive and well, though somewhat crippled by occasional attacks of rheumatism. He has, for many years, lived in a small farm upon the Downs five miles from Eastbourne, where his time is divided between philosophy and agriculture. During this period of rest he has refused the most princely offers to take up various cases, having determined that his retirement was a permanent one. The approach of the German war caused him, however, to lay his remarkable combination of intellectual and practical activity at the disposal of the Government, with historical results which are recounted in “His Last Bow.”

Last sentence: “Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age. There’s an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it’s God’s own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared. Start her up, Watson, for it’s time that we were on our way. I have a cheque for five hundred pounds which should be cashed early, for the drawer is quite capable of stopping it, if he can.”

Favourite quote(s):

"“How do you define the word ‘grotesque’?” “Strange—remarkable,” I suggested. He shook his head at my definition. “There is surely something more than that,” said he; “some underlying suggestion of the tragic and the terrible. If you cast your mind back to some of those narratives with which you have afflicted a long-suffering public, you will recognize how often the grotesque has deepened into the criminal. Think of that little affair of the red-headed men. That was grotesque enough in the outset, and yet it ended in a desperate attempt at robbery. Or, again, there was that most grotesque affair of the five orange pips, which led straight to a murderous conspiracy. The word puts me on the alert.”"

""audacity and romance seem to have passed forever from the criminal world.""

""Private detectives are a class with whom I have absolutely no sympathy,""

"“You are like my friend, Dr. Watson, who has a bad habit of telling his stories wrong end foremost.""

""Has he any one outstanding quality? I say that he has. He is the very type of conventional British respectability, and the very man as a witness to impress another Briton. You saw yourself how neither of the inspectors dreamed of questioning his statement, extraordinary as it was.” “But what was he to witness?” “Nothing, as things turned out, but everything had they gone another way. That is how I read the matter.” “I see, he might have proved an alibi.”"

"“Well, well! What next?” said he. “Brother Mycroft is coming round.” “Why not?” I asked. “Why not? It is as if you met a tram-car coming down a country lane. Mycroft has his rails and he runs on them. His Pall Mall lodgings, the Diogenes Club, Whitehall—that is his cycle. Once, and only once, he has been here. What upheaval can possibly have derailed him?”"

""He lives in it. He thinks of nothing else save when, as an intellectual exercise, he unbends if I call upon him and ask him to advise me on one of my little problems. But Jupiter is descending to-day. What on earth can it mean?""

""If you have a fancy to see your name in the next honours list—” My friend smiled and shook his head. “I play the game for the game’s own sake,” said he. “But the problem certainly presents some points of interest, and I shall be very pleased to look into it. Some more facts, please.”"

"“I’m afraid,” said Holmes, smiling, “that all the Queen’s horses and all the Queen’s men cannot avail in this matter.”"

"“You are right, Holmes. We are bound to go.” He sprang up and shook me by the hand. “I knew you would not shrink at the last,” said he, and for a moment I saw something in his eyes which was nearer to tenderness than I had ever seen."

"“Don’t drop the instruments, I beg. Your arrest as a suspicious character would be a most unfortunate complication.”"

"One of the most remarkable characteristics of Sherlock Holmes was his power of throwing his brain out of action and switching all his thoughts on to lighter things whenever he had convinced himself that he could no longer work to advantage."

"“You can write me down an ass this time, Watson,” said he. “This was not the bird that I was looking for.”"

"It was, then, with considerable surprise that I received a telegram from Homes last Tuesday—he has never been known to write where a telegram would serve—in the following terms: Why not tell them of the Cornish horror—strangest case I have handled. I have no idea what backward sweep of memory had brought the matter fresh to his mind, or what freak had caused him to desire that I should recount it; but I hasten, before another cancelling telegram may arrive, to hunt out the notes which give me the exact details of the case and to lay the narrative before my readers."

""for in all England you are the one man we need.” I glared at the intrusive vicar with no very friendly eyes; but Holmes took his pipe from his lips and sat up in his chair like an old hound who hears the view-halloa."

"I had hoped that in some way I could coax my companion back into the quiet which had been the object of our journey; but one glance at his intense face and contracted eyebrows told me how vain was now the expectation."

""and you will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair, unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair. Oh, you will see it out, will you? I thought I knew my Watson.""

"A thick, black cloud swirled before my eyes, and my mind told me that in this cloud, unseen as yet, but about to spring out upon my appalled senses, lurked all that was vaguely horrible, all that was monstrous and inconceivably wicked in the universe.[…] I broke through that cloud of despair, and had a glimpse of Holmes’s face, white, rigid, and drawn with horror—the very look which I had seen upon the features of the dead. It was that vision which gave me an instant of sanity and of strength."

"“I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for oneself, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry.” “You know,” I answered, with some emotion, for I had never seen so much of Holmes’s heart before, “that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you.” He relapsed at once into the half-humorous, half-cynical vein which was his habitual attitude to those about him."

"His incredible untidiness, his addiction to music at strange hours, his occasional revolver practice within doors, his weird and often malodorous scientific experiments, and the atmosphere of violence and danger which hung around him made him the very worst tenant in London."

"‘With your leave or without it, Mr. Holmes, I am going for a doctor this very hour,’ said I. ‘Let it be Watson, then,’"

"“I only wished to help,” I explained. “Exactly! You will help best by doing what you are told.” “Certainly, Holmes.” He relaxed the austerity of his manner. “You are not angry?” he asked, gasping for breath. Poor devil, how could I be angry when I saw him lying in such a plight before me?"

"Let him be my master elsewhere, I at least was his in a sick-room. “Holmes,” said I, “you are not yourself. A sick man is but a child, and so I will treat you. Whether you like it or not, I will examine your symptoms and treat you for them.”"

"I was bitterly hurt. “Such a remark is unworthy of you, Holmes. It shows me very clearly the state of your own nerves.""

""You and I, Watson, we have done our part. Shall the world, then, be overrun by oysters? No, no; horrible! You’ll convey all that is in your mind.” I left him full of the image of this magnificent intellect babbling like a foolish child."

"“I’m fainting—I’m gone!”"

""You knew too much of the fate of Victor Savage, so I have sent you to share it. You are very near your end, Holmes. I will sit here and I will watch you die.” Holmes’s voice had sunk to an almost inaudible whisper. “What is that?” said Smith. “Turn up the gas? Ah, the shadows begin to fall, do they? Yes, I will turn it up, that I may see you the better.” He crossed the room and the light suddenly brightened. ”Is there any other little service that I can do you, my friend?” “A match and a cigarette.” I nearly called out in my joy and my amazement. He was speaking in his natural voice—a little weak, perhaps, but the very voice I knew."

"“The best way of successfully acting a part is to be it,” said Holmes. “I give you my word that for three days I have  tasted neither food nor drink until you were good enough to pour me out that glass of water."

""Halloa! halloa! Do I hear the step of a friend?” There were footfalls outside, the door opened, and Inspector Morton appeared. “All is in order and this is your man,” said Holmes. The officer gave the usual cautions. “I arrest you on the charge of the murder of one Victor Savage,” he concluded. “And you might add of the attempted murder of one Sherlock Holmes,” remarked my friend with a chuckle."

""My word is always as good as yours.” “Good heavens!” cried Holmes. “I had totally forgotten him. My dear Watson, I owe you a thousand apologies. To think that I should have overlooked you!""

"“Three days of absolute fast does not improve one’s beauty, Watson.""

"“But why would you not let me near you, since there was in truth no infection?” “Can you ask, my dear Watson? Do you imagine that I have no respect for your medical talents? Could I fancy that your astute judgment would pass a dying man who, however weak, had no rise of pulse or temperature? At four yards, I could deceive you.""

"“There’s the check upon the table. I claim the right to examine that parcel before you pick the money up.” The American passed it over without a word. Von Bork undid a winding of string and two wrappers of paper. Then he sat dazing for a moment in silent amazement at a small blue book which lay before him. Across the cover was printed in golden letters Practical Handbook of Bee Culture. Only for one instant did the master spy glare at this strangely irrelevant inscription. The next he was gripped at the back of his neck by a grasp of iron, and a chloroformed sponge was held in front of his writhing face. “Another glass, Watson!” said Mr. Sherlock Holmes as he extended the bottle of Imperial Tokay. The thickset chauffeur, who had seated himself by the table, pushed forward his glass with some eagerness. “It is a good wine, Holmes.” “A remarkable wine, Watson.""

""But you, Watson”—he stopped his work and took his old friend by the shoulders—“I’ve hardly seen you in the light yet. How have the years used you? You look the same blithe boy as ever.” “I feel twenty years younger, Holmes. I have seldom felt so happy as when I got your wire asking me to meet you at Harwich with the car. But you, Holmes—you have changed very little—save or that horrible goatee.” “These are the sacrifices one makes for one’s country, Watson,” said Holmes, pulling at his little tuft. “To-morrow it will be but a dreadful memory. With my hair cut and a few other superficial changes I shall no doubt reappear at Claridge’s tomorrow as I was before this American stunt—I beg your pardon, Watson, my well of English seems to be permanently defiled—before this American job came my way.” “But you have retired, Holmes. We heard of you as living the life of a hermit among your bees and your books in a small farm upon the South Downs.”"

"“It was I who brought about the separation between Irene Adler and the late King of Bohemia when your cousin Heinrich was the Imperial Envoy. It was I also who saved from murder, by the Nihilist Klopman, Count Von und Zu Grafenstein, who was your mother’s elder brother. It was I—” Von Bork sat up in amazement. “There is only one man,” he cried."

"The two friends chatted in intimate converse for a few minutes, recalling once again the days of the past, while their prisoner vainly wriggled to undo the bonds that held him."

Themes & tropes: committed to the bit, justice, deception, friendship, revenge

Setting: Late Victorian London, England

Main characters: Von Bork, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft Holmes, Dr. John Watson, Sherlock Holmes

Favourite character: Watson and Holmes (they’re my favourites in every book, but in this case I couldn’t think of anyone else)

Favourite chapters: The Dying Detective (especially towards the end; generally the ends of the Sherlock Holmes stories tend to be the best part because of the payoff), His Last Bow (especially the ending monologue :((( I feel like it’s Arthur Conan Doyle trying to give his readers courage through Sherlock Holmes, it must have been so terrifying to live in those times, not knowing what will come and if you’ll get to see the day when things are ok and peaceful again), The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans (Sherlock making fun of Mycroft and talking about how strange it is that “Jupiter is descending” to talk to him about a case)

Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

Series: Sherlock Holmes (7)

Dates of reading: 09.02.-11.02.2024

Year published: 1914

Genre: Classics, Mystery, Fiction, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Detective

Page count: 195

Rating: 4/5

How I felt while reading: At first, I was really confused and, although I might have missed something, I do think there is a plot hole due to Doyle changing his plans for Sherlock Holmes. So, apparently this book takes place before “The Final Problem”, which is why Moriarty is still alive. However, I remember Watson only finding out about who Moriarty is in The Final Problem, yet now he already knows about him months before. It’s not too big of a deal. After all, it’s fine to not have everything 100% planned from the start and never change that plan. But it was confusing since it’s only implied (maybe I missed something though). I was completely wrong when it came to what I theorised might have happened (was not expecting Mr Douglas to be alive)! Surprised that the book, similar to Study in Scarlet, goes to an entirely different setting with different characters for almost half the book, but I honestly enjoyed the sideplot with McMurdo! It’s just that the sudden shift always takes some time to adjust to and get into. Once I did get into it though, I loved it! I was shocked about the “I’m Birdy Edwards” twist!! I had such a bright smile on my face! Like yeahhh! Get ‘em!

How I felt after reading: Upset for Birdy Edwards and his wife. I wanted them to have a happily ever after. It is a good lead up to “The Final Problem” though. I wish I had read this book before that short story since it does more buildup for the threat of Moriarty, which makes his role as an antagonist more effective.

Short summary: Holmes gets a message from a spy that the life of John Douglas, who resides at Birlstone, is in danger. Soon after, he and Watson learn that Mr. Douglas was found murdered. Sherlock suspects that Moriarty was behind Douglas’s murder, but he is publicly seen as a good guy. After inspecting the body and the alleged circumstances of the murder, Sherlock eventually reveals that Mr. Douglas is alive. Mr. Douglas appears and gives his account of what happened. He explains that he saw Ted Baldwin, an enemy, and expected an attack. The next day, he was attacked in his study; his attacker tried to shoot him. They fought for the gun and Baldwin was shot in the face. Mr. Douglsás disguises his body as his own to stop others from coming for him. Mr. Douglas explains why he was hunted. His real name is Birdy Edwards, and he was once a detective for Pinkerton’s in Chicago. He’d infiltrated and destroyed a gang in Vermissa Valley, known as The Valley of Fear. Since then, he was a hunted man. Sherlock warns Mr. Douglas to leave England because a new threat, worse than the gang from Vermissa Valley, is after him. Mr. Douglas agrees, but on the journey to Africa, he is lost overboard. Sherlock believes Moriarty was hired by V.V. to assasinate Mr. Douglas. He tells Watson and MacDonald that he intends to catch Moriarty, but that it will take time.

First sentence: “I am inclined to think—” said I. “I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently. I believe that I am one of the most long-suffering of mortals; but I’ll admit that I was annoyed at the sardonic interruption.

Last sentence: “Do you tell me that we have to sit down under this? Do you say that no one can ever get level with this king-devil?” “No, I don’t say that,” said Holmes, and his eyes seemed to be looking far into the future. “I don’t say that he can’t be beat. But you must give me time—you must give me time!” We all sat in silence for some minutes, while those fateful eyes still strained to pierce the veil.

Favourite quote(s):

""You have heard me speak of Professor Moriarty?” “The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as—” “My blushes, Watson!” Holmes murmured in a deprecating voice. “I was about to say, as he is unknown to the public.” “A touch! A distinct touch!” cried Holmes. “You are developing a certain unexpected vein of pawky humour, Watson, against which I must learn to guard myself.""

"The inspector endeavoured to look interested."

"Though a wretched rider, he turned out at every meet, and took the most amazing falls in his determination to hold his own with the best."

"“I’m asking you to conseedar” (his accent became more Aberdonian as he lost himself in his argument)”

"“Come along, Dr. Watson, and when the time comes we’ll all hope for a place in your book.”"

""At the same time, there is much that is unexplained, and I should strongly recommend that you ask Mr. Douglas to tell us his own story.” Mrs. Douglas gave a cry of astonishment at Holmes’s words. The detectives and I must have echoed it, when we were aware of a man who seemed to have emerged from the wall, who advanced now from the gloom of the corner in which he had appeared. Mrs. Douglas turned, and in an instant her arms were round him. Barker had seized his outstretched hand."

"“My rings were put on his finger; but when it came to the wedding ring,” he held out his muscular hand, “you can see for yourselves that I had struck the limit. I have not moved it since the day I was married, and it would have taken a file to get it off. I don’t know, anyhow, that I should have cared to part with it; but if I had wanted to I couldn’t. So we just had to leave that detail to take care of itself.""

"And now, my long-suffering readers, I will ask you to come away with me for a time, far from the Sussex Manor House of Birlstone, and far also from the year of grace in which we made our eventful journey which ended with the strange story of the man who had been known as John Douglas. […] And when I have detailed those distant events and you have solved this mystery of the past, we shall meet once more in those rooms on Baker Street, where this, like so many other wonderful happenings, will find its end."

"It is with this man that we are concerned. Take a good look at him, for he is worth it."

"“Hullo, mate!”"

"“Just this, mister, that I should advise you to be careful in choosing your friends. I don’t think I’d begin with Mike Scanlan or his gang if I were you.” “What the hell is it to you who are my friends?” roared McMurdo in a voice which brought every head in the carriage round to witness the altercation. “Did I ask you for your advice, or did you think me such a sucker that I couldn’t move without it? You speak when you are spoken to, and by the Lord you’d have to wait a long time if it was me!”"

"Before ever he had set foot in it, McMurdo the turbulent had become a character in Vermissa.”

"“No time like the present,” cried McMurdo. “I’ll choose my own time, mister. You can leave the time to me. See here!”"

"“Tut! These girls! These girls!” he cried. “To think that the same petticoats should come between two of my boys! It’s the devil’s own luck! Well, it’s the colleen inside of them that must settle the question for it’s outside the jurisdiction of a Bodymaster—and the Lord be praised for that! We have enough on us, without the women as well.""

""Are you ready to be tested?” “I am.” “Are you of stout heart?” “I am.” “Take a stride forward to prove it.” As the words were said he felt two hard points in front of his eyes, pressing upon them so that it appeared as if he could not move forward without a danger of losing them. None the less, he nerved himself to step resolutely out, and as he did so the pressure melted away. There was a low murmur of applause. “He is of stout heart,” said the voice. “Can you bear pain?” “As well as another,” he answered. “Test him!” It was all he could do to keep himself from screaming out, for an agonizing pain shot through his forearm. He nearly fainted at the sudden shock of it; but he bit his lip and clenched his hands to hide his agony. “I can take more than that,” said he. This time there was loud applause. A finer first appearance had never been made in the Lodge. Hands clapped him on the back, and the hood was plucked from his head. He stood blinking and smiling amid the congratulations of the brothers. “One last word, Brother McMurdo,” said McGinty. “You have already sworn the oath of secrecy and fidelity, and you are aware that the punishment for any breach of it is instant and inevitable death?” “I am,” said McMurdo. “And you accept the rule of the Bodymaster for the time being under all circumstances?” “I do.” “Then in the name of Lodge 341, Vermissa, I welcome you to its privileges and debates. You will put the liquor on the table, Brother Scanlan, and we will drink to our worthy brother.”" (Personal note: Is this what joining a frat is like?)

"“If you call it crime,” McMurdo answered. “Call it crime!” cried Morris, his voice vibrating with passion. “You have seen little of it if you can call it anything else. Was it crime last night when a man old enough to be your father was beaten till the blood dripped from his white hairs? Was that crime—or what else would you call it?""

""As we turned away a child was screaming out of the house behind us. It was a boy of five who had seen his father murdered. I nearly fainted with the horror of it, and yet I had to keep a bold and smiling face; for well I knew that if I did not it would be out of my house that they would come next with their bloody hands and it would be my little Fred that would be screaming for his father.""

""Look down the valley! See the cloud of a hundred chimneys that overshadows it! I tell you that the cloud of murder hangs thicker and lower than that over the heads of the people. It is the Valley of Fear, the Valley of Death. The terror is in the hearts of the people from the dusk to the dawn. Wait, young man, and you will learn for yourself.””

"“Well!” cried Boss McGinty at last. “Is he here? Is Birdy Edwards here?” “Yes,” McMurdo answered slowly. “Birdy Edwards is here. I am Birdy Edwards!” There were ten seconds after that brief speech during which the room might have been empty, so profound was the silence. The hissing of a kettle upon the stove rose sharp and strident to the ear. Seven white faces, all turned upward to this man who dominated them, were set motionless with utter terror. Then, with a sudden shivering of glass, a bristle of glistening rifle barrels broke through each window, while the curtains were torn from their hangings. At the sight Boss McGinty gave the roar of a wounded bear and plunged for the half-opened door. A levelled revolver met him there with the stern blue eyes of Captain Marvin of the Coal and Iron Police gleaming behind the sights. The Boss recoiled and fell back into his chair.”

Themes & tropes: the bad guys get away, gang violence, guilt, revenge, undercover detective, fakeout death, hiding in the walls, genre shift

Setting: London, England (1881), Birlstone, Sussex, Vermissa Valley, Pennsylvania (United States, 1875)

Main characters: Dr. John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, McMurdo, Boss McGinty, Mrs. Douglas, Professor Moriarty

Favourite character: McMurdo

Favourite scene: McMurdo reveals that he is the detective Birdy Edwards

Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

Series: Sherlock Holmes (6)

Dates of reading: 08.02.-09.02.2024

Year published: 1905

Genre: Classics, Mystery, Fiction, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Detective, Short Story Collection

Page count: 455

Rating: 4/5

How I felt while reading: Really happy to see Sherlock and Watson reunited but shocked at how nonchalantly Doyle killed off Mary, without more than a sentence and not even an explanation to her death. I didn’t even realise she was dead at first and was really confused when Watson moved back in with Sherlock (I thought it was hilarious because I thought he was still married but decided to live with his friend over his wife). Super invested in the Charles Augustus Milverton adventure where Watson and Sherlock decide to do crime together and break into Milverton’s rooms just to straight up witness a murder but side with the murderess and don’t let anyone find out it was her.

How I felt after reading: Loving Sherlock for how he protects people he believes are in the right, even if the law wouldn’t agree. He gives people second chances if they deserve them. 

Short summary: (Goodreads:) Missing, presumed dead, for three years, Sherlock Holmes returns triumphantly to his dear companion Dr Watson. And not before time! London has never been in more need of his extraordinary services: a murderous individual with an air gun stalks the city.

First sentence: It was in the spring of the year 1894 that all London was interested, and the fashionable world dismayed, by the murder of the Honourable Ronald Adair under most unusual and inexplicable circumstances.

Last sentence: “Come, sir,” said he. “There is more in this than meets the eye. How came the letter back in the box?” Holmes turned away smiling from the keen scrutiny of those wonderful eyes. “We also have our diplomatic secrets,” said he and, picking up his hat, he turned to the door.

Favourite quote(s):

"When I turned again, Sherlock Holmes was standing smiling at me across my study table. I rose to my feet, stared at him for some seconds in utter amazement, and then it appears that I must have fainted for the first and the last time in my life. Certainly a grey mist swirled before my eyes, and when it cleared I found my collar-ends undone and the tingling after-taste of brandy upon my lips. Holmes was bending over my chair, his flask in his hand. “My dear Watson,” said the well-remembered voice, “I owe you a thousand apologies. I had no idea that you would be so affected.” I gripped him by the arm. “Holmes!” I cried. “Is it really you? Can it indeed be that you are alive? Is it possible that you succeeded in climbing out of that awful abyss?” “Wait a moment,” said he. “Are you sure that you are really fit to discuss things? I have given you a serious shock by my unnecessarily dramatic reappearance.” “I am all right, but indeed, Holmes, I can hardly believe my eyes. Good heavens! to think that you—you of all men—should be standing in my study!” Again I gripped him by the sleeve, and felt the thin, sinewy arm beneath it. “Well, you’re not a spirit, anyhow,” said I. “My dear chap, I am overjoyed to see you. Sit down, and tell me how you came alive out of that dreadful chasm.”"

"In some manner he had learned of my own sad bereavement, and his sympathy was shown in his manner rather than in his words." (Personal note: So- I was really confused as to why Watson doesn’t mention his wife again after this, especially when he moves back in with Sherlock. So I googled it. TURNS OUT SHE DIED?? AND APPARENTLY THIS SENTENCE IS THE IMPLICATION OF THAT. OMG TOT. Bereavement definition: a period of mourning after a loss, especially after the death of a loved one: The widow had many visitors during her bereavement. a state of intense grief, as after the loss of a loved one; desolation: Not all therapists are equipped to treat clients suffering with such debilitating bereavement.)

"He was quivering with silent laughter."

"“Now we must see if we can find this witness for you, Lestrade. Might I ask you all to join in the cry of ‘Fire’? Now, then; one, two, three—” “Fire!” we all yelled. “Thank you. I will trouble you once again.” “Fire!” “Just once more, gentlemen, and all together.” “Fire!” The shout must have rung over Norwood. It had hardly died away when an amazing thing happened. A door suddenly flew open out of what appeared to be solid wall at the end of the corridor, and a little wizened man darted out of it, like a rabbit out of its burrow. “Capital!” said Holmes, calmly. “Watson, a bucket of water over the straw. That will do! Lestrade, allow me to present you with your principal missing witness, Mr. Jonas Oldacre.”"

"“No harm? You have done your best to get an innocent man hanged. If it wasn’t for this gentleman here, I am not sure that you would not have succeeded.“ The wretched creature began to whimper. “I am sure, sir, it was only my practical joke.”"

"“Well,” said I, “you call that love, Mr. Carruthers, but I should call it selfishness.”"

""so you can put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Busybody Holmes!”"

""We have shared the same room for some years, and it would be amusing if we ended by sharing the same cell.""

“"You will ruin no more lives as you ruined mine. You will wring no more hearts as you wrung mine. I will free the world of a poisonous thing. Take that, you hound, and that!—and that!—and that!—and that!” She had drawn a little, gleaming revolver, and emptied barrel after barrel into Milverton’s body, the muzzle within two feet of his shirt front.""

"I felt Holmes’s cold, strong grasp upon my wrist. I understood the whole argument of that firm, restraining grip—that it was no affair of ours; that justice had overtaken a villain; that we had our own duties and our own objects which were not to be lost sight of. But hardly had the woman rushed from the room when Holmes, with swift, silent steps, was over at the other door. He turned the key in the lock. At the same instant we heard voices in the house and the sound of hurrying feet. The revolver shots had roused the household. With perfect coolness Holmes slipped across to the safe, filled his two arms with bundles of letters, and poured them all into the fire. Again and again he did it, until the safe was empty."

"“Criminals!” said Holmes. “Plural!” “Yes, there were two of them. They were, as nearly as possible, captured red-handed. We have their footmarks, we have their description, it’s ten to one that we trace them. The first fellow was a bit too active, but the second was caught by the under-gardener and only got away after a struggle. He was a middle-sized, strongly-built man—square jaw, thick neck, moustache, a mask over his eyes.” “That’s rather vague,” said Sherlock Holmes. “Why, it might be a description of Watson!” “It’s true,” said the Inspector, with amusement. “It might be a description of Watson.”"

""On the other hand, although it is trivial, it is undoubtedly queer, and I know that you have a taste for all that is out of the common. But, in my opinion, it comes more in Dr. Watson’s line than ours.”"

"Lestrade and I sat silent for a moment, and then, with a spontaneous impulse, we both broke out clapping as at the well-wrought crisis of a play. A flush of colour sprang to Holmes’s pale cheeks, and he bowed to us like the master dramatist who receives the homage of his audience. It was at such moments that for an instant he ceased to be a reasoning machine, and betrayed his human love for admiration and applause. The same singularly proud and reserved nature which turned away with disdain from popular notoriety was capable of being moved to its depths by spontaneous wonder and praise from a friend."

"“I believe that you are a wizard, Mr. Holmes.""

"“I am in hopes of getting it. That is why I am here. The more I think of the matter the more convinced I am that the letter has never left this house.” “Mr. Holmes!” “If it had it would certainly have been public by now.” “But why should anyone take it in order to keep it in this house?” “I am not convinced that anyone did take it.” “Then how could it leave the despatch-box?” “I am not convinced that it ever did leave the despatch-box.” “Mr. Holmes, this joking is very ill-timed. You have my assurance that it left the box.” “Have you examined the box since Tuesday morning?” “No; it was not necessary.” “You may conceivably have overlooked it.” “Impossible, I say.” “But I am not convinced of it; I have known such things to happen. I presume there are other papers there. Well, it may have got mixed with them.” “It was on the top.” “Someone may have shaken the box and displaced it.” “No, no; I had everything out.” “Surely it is easily decided, Hope,” said the Premier. “Let us have the despatch-box brought in.” The Secretary rang the bell. “Jacobs, bring down my despatch-box. This is a farcical waste of time, but still, if nothing else will satisfy you, it shall be done. Thank you, Jacobs; put it here. I have always had the key on my watch-chain. Here are the papers, you see. Letter from Lord Merrow, report from Sir Charles Hardy, memorandum from Belgrade, note on the Russo-German grain taxes, letter from Madrid, note from Lord Flowers—good heavens! what is this? Lord Bellinger! Lord Bellinger!” The Premier snatched the blue envelope from his hand. “Yes, it is it—and the letter is intact. Hope, I congratulate you.”" (Gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep)

Themes & tropes: justice, karma, doing crime to help others, the law isn’t always right

Setting: Late Victorian London, England

Main characters: Dr. John Watson, Sherlock Holmes

Favourite character: The woman who kills Milverton (and Sherlock and Watson for not being snitches, but them being my favourites is a given)

Favourite chapters: The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton (especially towards the end), The Adventure of the Empty House, The Adventure of the Second Stain

General notes/thoughts:

R.I.P. Mary Watson (she deserved more acknowledgement).