my dose ranging data with the kratom is telling me I need to step it up 20%, baseline 4 capsules a day to 5, which is still only 5/8 tsp.
living with these people is so intensely indescribably alienating. I hate it so much.

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my dose ranging data with the kratom is telling me I need to step it up 20%, baseline 4 capsules a day to 5, which is still only 5/8 tsp.
living with these people is so intensely indescribably alienating. I hate it so much.

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What’s everyone’s favorite peak 2014 tumblr books?
I just finished Divergent and I’m feeling nostalgic for the books that raised me 🥺
I genuinely think, as someone who reads dictionaries and red-strings all of my favourite media, that a lot of people dislike (or grew out of) Divergent 's story just because the writing is, to some people, mediocre or otherwise juvenile/unpolished.
And I really think that a lot of these people are criticizing it from valid, but perhaps unintended perspectives.
Divergent has always—to my very neurodivergent , queer, heavily outcasted brain—been a story of its name: the divergents are just that.
They are neuroDIVERGENT. They are different, and what makes them different is their ability to be more than black and white like neurotypical people. It's why they can fit into each faction so easily: they have adaptability and the natural affinity for balancing complex emotions, situations, and manners of thought/behaviour.
They're the rebels, the rule breakers, the pattern seers, the ones who are different, strange, and uncommon.
But that's exactly it—Divergent is a story of an arguably poor/Southern/heavily-conservative-coded young woman coming of age in her society where she has always struggled to be anything but different.
She finds out over the course of the story that her mother is divergent, just like she herself is. This entire story is her journey with unmasking, self-discovery, self-confidence, and navigation of a society built upon discriminatory, segregated practices and surveillance, big-brother-is-watching ideologies.
It is about being neurotypical, poor, discriminated, different, atypical per society's set expectations, queer, marginalized, stuck in/born to a violent system, etc.
It is written simply, sure; it's completely fair if that's your argument. But I am not of the belief that it is altogether fair to describe Divergent and its accompanying novels as "shallow" or lacking meaning.
allegiant is really the funniest complete u-turn a book can take. yeah the people you THOUGHT were marginalized? actually they're the intended result of a eugenics experiment. also the tattoo lady is dead now LOL. also you THOUGHT one of the mcs was a member of this used-to-be-marginalized-but-now-isn't group but actually NO. and also they're still eugenicist so the other mc has to die i guess.
if i was in divergent i think i'd most likely be candor or erudite

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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RULES✧˖°
I WILL write: x reader, ships, occasional soft smut (highly dependent on my mood!) , fluff, LGBTQ+, drabbles, and oneshots! You can also request part 2s to existing fics if you’d like ^^.
I will NOT write: non-con, dub-con, anything to do with incest, yandere, daddy kinks or violence! Do NOT send me requests with these topics as they will NOT be accepted!
I will write for anyone in the following fandoms: Arcane, Divergent, GLEE, FNAF, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games(including TBOSAS!), Marvel, Once Upon A Time, Project Hail Mary, SAW, Spiderverse, Star Wars, TADC, The Lost Boys, The Maze Runner, and Top Gun.
Random Characters: Kurt Kunkle, Rodrick Heffley, (more to come!)
Note: there may be some characters I am better at writing for than others—as you can see Ryland Grace is one of my favorites!
Never fear, though, I’ll give it my best shot even if they aren’t on my Masterlist yet, so don’t be shy! Ask away ^^.
I'm sitting around making a few hundred kratom capsules today. I'm taking it at a low enough dose that the effect on my mood is barely noticeable, which is kind of the entire point, I'll need to reassess in a couple months and see if the needle moved or not. I want to be taking the absolute minimum effective dose to boost my pharma antidepressant which is not quite capable of keeping up right now.
it was always going to be a combination of many factors which will reduce my probability of depressive episodes in this environment. I struggled very badly in the 5 years before I ended up here, in situations which were worse in many ways, and never got depressed; and now I've had three episodes in the 2 years since I got here.
anyway, the gears are still turning with their customary agonizing slowness on non-chemical changes I'm making in this regard. my sleep is still a mess but I'm eating much better lately. I'm working on changes that'll reduce the barriers to getting out and walking. same with meditation. and hopefully sooner than later I'll have a succulent collection going, which is a behavior-mod trojan horse to get me out in the yard. once I'm regularly out there I will inevitably start growing vegetables again - there's a lot of semi-abandoned infrastructure that I can use - so starting a succulent collection is kind of a twofer, and working with plants is a massive boost to my mental health. if anybody wants to gift me $30 for soil ingredients, link is in my bio, they're the last thing I need other than some cuttings. which btw I would accept if you want to mail me some!