Bridge to My Brain

I was really hoping you would text first this time

every time I watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower it gets more relatable

if someone proposes to me with a pokemon love ball with a ring inside while saying "i choose you" there is a 112% chance i will say yes

This person kiked me earlier with some pretty sexual stuff and so naturally I changed my profile to that of a waffle and started replying as a waffle and when they asked me if I was "gay or str8" I replied with I'm carbohystr8 and he hasn't responded but I'm pretty proud of myself

REBLOG IF IN THE FUTURE YOU WILL LOVE YOUR SON, EVEN IF HE HAS A VAGINA

NEVER tell someone with OCD to 'get over it'

Why do pregnant women constantly touch their stomachs, are they like "oh yeah, just checking you're still in there and didn't slip your head the size of a watermelon unnoticed out of my vagina a few steps ago."

Being a hipster is too mainstream for me

It's the moon's time of the the month

That awkward moment when you realise you're checking out an animated character . . .

Squidward :--(