Writing and Sarcasm

Rereading all systems red and the first 2 chapters are strong contenders for funniest intro to a book series. Jumping straight to action, and mb is giving us absolutely no info about anything. Who are those people? Some weird hippies it's not important. Why are they here? Mb does not give a shit. What is this planet? Fuck if it knows. Here is a small paragraph that fucking states everyone's relationship status like a wiki article that we are never gonna get back to. Ugh there are hostiles that keep us away from our media #our media.

no one follows the trees warning

You know the parable about how the foolish man built his house upon sand and the wise man built his house upon rock and it’s always about having a sturdy foundation well there is also the fact of location which is that the sand probably used to be rock except it’s been eroded to sediment because it’s a FUCKING FLOODPLAIN

flood Plain perfec t size for put town in to b\uild! inside very Soft and Comfort town safe happy put town in Floodplain. Put Town In Floodplain. no problems ever in flloodplain because good Shape and Support for town roads weak of big town citizens. Afloodplain yes a place for a town put town in floodplain can trust floodplain for giveing good place for town. friend flood

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

well this makes perfect sense regarding Shark psychology. They very clearly do not see humans as prey and when they see humans or their contraptions (like cages), are curious more than anything else. So this shark sees a cage and is like "Oh, human thing, will poke nose in." Then the human extends their arm and pushes shark snout away, something no seal or other prey does. So shark goes "Ah, I see. Human do not appreciate. Will go somewhere else. Farewell."

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

The Smash Bros. cast swapping anecdotes about their various evil doppelgangers and Mario getting into an argument about whether Wario counts.

Wario is playing Devil’s advocate because being Mario’s evil doppleganger is great for business. If he was just some guy, nobody would buy Warioware.